The first step.
Pain. That's the first thing he felt when he got up that morning. Just mind numbingly painfull cramps.
The next thing she realized was that she was once again referring to herself as 'him', Loki the man she was supposed to be. But she wasn't, her period was proof of that. As if she needed proof. She was born female, she looked feemale, hell she even sounded "female, but something in her mind still screamed " Man not girl, handsome not beautiful, powerful not weak" Not that women were weak, but Loki for sure wasn't. Neither weak nor a woman.
There it was again, that name that meant so much more to her that the one others used to call out for her. He could hear them in his mind "Get your stuff from the table, Isabella"- his father, " You've grown to be such a pretty woman, Bella"- his mother, " You're joking sister, you can't be for real"- his oaf of a brother, "Izzy is just being difficult again"- his boyfriend.
What he really wanted to hear was " Take your books with you when you leave Loki.", " I'm proud of you son" and "This is my brother, Loki Odinson."
But that will never happen since nobody knows about him. In his families' eyes he's only ever been 'Isabella' and that won't change.
The only one he has ever told his chosen name is Fenris but it's not like he will care.
Fenris is also the one interupting his sleep this morning, by jumping up on his bed and licking Loki's face thoroughly. If only he had a beard. Loki caught himself dreaming once again.
Then he heard his mother calling out for him. "Belle, you need to get up, school starts in 30 minutes!"
Oh shit. School. He had forgotten about today being the first day of school.
"New schoolyear, new me." He decides that out loud to nobody but himself.
On that exact same day, he will break up with his boyfriend and he will cut his hair. But for now all he does is get up and take i quick shower, washing all the blood from his lower half and his thighs. This day will be different but Loki doesn't know how different it will be yet.
So he behaves like he always does when getting ready in the morning, even though he spares putting makeup on today. All he does is brush his ebony hair that goes down to his hip and puts it in a low bun.
He then puts on a loose pair of black jeans and a slightly to big sweater in a dark green. He wears his favourite jewlery, a ring that wraps around his slim finger in form of a snake and two different earrings. A small black ring in his right lobe and a dangely little dagger with a emerald on the handle in his left ear.
He doesn't pack his normal baby-blue purse but his old, plain, black backpack with a little snake pin on the side.
He then gets Fen's favourite leash, a black one with a green collar and skipps down the stairs followed by a very exited Fenris.
"Morning mom, dad" he mutters while snatching his lunchbox from the table.
"Good morning, Bella. You seem awfully exited for you first day back at school. Is there anything you're not telling us?" His mother, Freya asked with a smile on her face.
Loki's mother is a beautiful woman, gold-blonde hair goes down to her breasts and her face is soft, yet stern. She's wearing one of her favourite dresses, Loki noticed, it's the one he and Thor got her for her 50th birthday, two years ago. Well Loki chose it but that's probably for the better since Thor's taste in clothes is questionable at best.
"I'm fine mother, no need to worry. I'm just glad to start the last year of school." He lied. What good was there in telling the truth anyways.
"Your brother already left with his friends so you need to take the bus today unless you want me to drive you to school." His mother looked genuinely sorry.
"Nah, it's okay. I don't want to make you late for work. I'll just go by bus." Loki tried his best to stay calm and no get mad at Thor for leaving without him. At least now he didn't have to sit in the car with these morons Thor called his friends and Fenris was glad for the short walk it took to the bus station.
So Loki took the bus to school on the day, that changed his life.
But again, Loki didn't know about that yet when he got on the bus where he would stand because all seats were taken and listen du his favourite-band, his comfort-band his 'idontcareaboutwhatyouidiotsthink'-band.
Ironheart.