Chapter 7
When Monday came around, they all had to get up early to get to Mr. Broflovski's office. Kenny's alarm went off at 6:30 to make sure there was enough time for all of them to shower. Butters was still passed out in his bed. His shirt rode up a little, and Kenny could see the bruises on his start to heal. Karen was asleep in Kenny's bed. She had one of her headphones in. Still, Kenny went to take it out, but Karen sensed him and shot up quickly. Kenny stepped back with his hands up, and Karen chilled out a little.
"Chill Karen, you can stay in bed for 20 more minutes. I'm going to shower," Kenny said as he walked towards the bathroom. Karen played back down and hid under the covers. Kenny walked out of the toilet to see Karen sitting up in bed on her phone and Butters still asleep.
"Karen, get up and shower. I'll wake Leo," Kenny said while walking to the coffee table and grabbing a cigarette. Karen grabbed clothes and made her way to the bathroom. Kenny was still in his towel as he walked to Butters's bed. He tapped his head a few times, and Butters started to wake up. He rolled over and opened his eyes. Butters saw Kenny naked with a towel wrapped around him, water still dripping down his body. Butters blushed, rolled over to put his face in the pillow, and screamed. Kenny looked at him and laughed.
"Aww, Buttercup, wakey, wakey," Kenny said teasingly. Butters groaned again and felt the bed dip as Kenny sat down. Kenny McCormick is naked with a towel on in my bed, Butters thought. Kenny tapped Butters, and he rolled over. Kenny passed him his cigarette, and Butters sat up and leaned against his pillows.
"Kenny, I would have kicked you off the bed, but you gave me this, so your forgiven," Butters said sleepily.
"Ya, ya, whatever. Time to get up. We gotta go see Mr. Broflovski, then we got to school, and after, we both have to work at Tweaks Coffee, with Tweak himself," Kenny said. Butters grounded even louder. Today would be long, and he wasn't looking forward to it. Kenny stole the cigarette back while getting up and went to get dressed. By 7:20, they were all dressed and sitting down to eat breakfast.
"So Karen, we're gonna give you a Butters bed frame and my bed for your room at the new place," Kenny said.
"Okay, that's fine," Karen said while scrolling on her phone absentmindedly.
"Get your shit, guys. We gotta leave," Kenny said. They grabbed their bags and left. They pulled up to Mr. Broflovski's office and made their way inside. He saw them and called the kids into his office.
"You all look tired, so I'll make this quick. Kenny, on this paper, you sign on the first line and Butters on the second. Your parents will sign the next page, and Karen, I need you to sign below that. If you want a restraining order, sign these papers here. I suggest making your parents leave the house for a while so you can also grab some of your stuff. Kenny, and Karen, I'll be heading to your parent's house after this so they can sign. I'll text you when it's done, and then you and Butters will be the legal Guardians of Karen," They took that all in, and they each grabbed a pen. Butters signed the restraining form and told Gerald he would like to return home to get stuff first. Then all three of them signed the guardianship form. They walked outside and drove to school in silence. The flick of a lighter and the crinkle of the cigarette box was the only sound they made. Butters and Kenny just became the legal guardians of Karen. They had more than themselves to worry about now. They pulled up to the high school, and all went their separate ways.
When Butters leaves class, he sees Kenny standing across the hall waiting for him.
"So you either left class earlier to make it here before me, or you skipped," Butters said while walking up to him. Kenny had a sheepish smile on his face.
"Ya, well, I skipped. I went with Mr. Broflovski to get my parents to sign the forms. Since we're moving, I told my mom the address, and I got a few people to help us move on Sunday," Kenny said as they made their way through the halls. Butters wasn't surprised he told his mom. She always tried to ensure Kenny and Karen ate, but Stuart would get in the way.
"Oh ya, who did you get to help us?" Butter asked. He was curious as to who was coming. Only a few people liked Butters, but they did like Kenny, so that was better than nothing.
"I got Stan and Kyle, obviously. Then I got Tolkien and Clyde. Also, I got boxes from my parent's house to put all the shit in to move," Kenny replied while grabbing a textbook from his locker. Butters was surprised and relieved he didn't say Cartman. He wouldn't help at all, and he's an asshole.
"Great, they should be a lot of help," Butters said. He and Kenny went to class and listened to the teacher talk about bullshit. Finally, when the bell rang for lunch, he and Kenny walked out to the back of the school. He knew it was a bad idea when he started smoking, but he didn't care then and doesn't now as he grabbed a lighter to light the cigarette Kenny handed him.
"Let's go home. This morning was emotionally draining," Butters said as he sat down. It really was. Butters hadn't been able to focus on anything. He just wanted to relax. Kenny could see that Butters was tired from this morning. They still had to work later as well.
"Alright then, let's go. I'm gonna bring Karen with us too. I don't want her to walk back later, and we have work," Kenny said as he got out his phone and texted Karen.
"Kenny, you know we can just dismiss her, right. Like we can do to ourselves," Butter said. Kenny looked at him dumbfounded, and Butters started laughing at him.
"Wait, how do I dismiss her and me and you?" Kenny asked. Butters laughed again at Kenny.
"Give me your phone, you dumbass," Butters said as he took Kenny's phone. He noticed his lock screen was a picture of him and Kenny from the summer. He blushed and dialed the school number, and waited until someone answered.
"Hi, I'd like to dismiss Karen and Kenny McCormick, as well as Leopold Stotch," Butters said into the phone. The front desk lady asked the reason for their dismissal.
"Ya, Karen McCormick had a change in guardianship this morning, Kenneth McCormick and Leopold Stotch are now her guardians, and they want to make sure everything is okay and that she isn't overwhelmed by the change." The lady sounded completely surprised, and she stuttered quickly, of course and said that all of them should come to the office and grab their dismissal slips before hanging up.
"That's how you get dismissed from school," Butters said while putting his cigarette out and standing up. He told Kenny they had to head to the office to grab their slips. Kenny was still dumbstruck as he and Butters returned to the school. They ran into Karen in the hallway.
"Why am I getting dismissed, Kenny?" Karen asked.
"Because Butters is a genius, and we're tired, and we also need to start packing up the apartment," Kenny said. Karen just shrugged as they walked into the office and grabbed their slips.
"We gotta stop and get boxes and tape, guys. We also need cigarettes, beer, and weed," Kenny said while unlocking the truck.
"See, Kenny, we need boxes and tape because we're moving. You want cigarettes, beer, and weed so you don't have to deal with your problems," Karen said. Kenny and Butters looked back at her like she was an idiot.
"Don't look at me like that. You know I'm right," Karen responded.
"You may be right, Karen, but we can't afford fancy therapists. So to the liquor store and then to Tegridy farms," Kenny said as he pulled out of the school. Butters was about to ask why they were going to Tegridy, but his phone started ringing. Tweek was calling him.
"Hey, Tweek, what's up?" Butters asked.
"Hey, B-Arg-tters, where have y-you been?" Tweek asked. Shit, I never texted Tweek back on THURSDAY oh fuck, Butters thought.
"I am so sorry, Tweek. I must have worried you. In short, I moved out of my house and into Kenny's apartment. Then I became Karen's guardian along with Kenny. On Sunday, we are moving to a big loft apartment, where the Carls Warehouse used to be," Butters said quickly, hoping Tweek would understand. Tweek was silent and didn't say anything for a while.
"Butters, what the fuck, ARGh. What do you mean by your LIVING- ARg with Kenny and Karen McCormick. What do you mean you and Kenny are Karen's-argh guardians?" Tweek asked again. He could hear Craig in the background saying what the fuck. Butters explained everything that happened, and by the time they finished talking and getting Tweek and Craig to help move them on Sunday, they pulled up to Tegridy.
"Bye Tweek, I'll see you at the store later," Butters said as he hung up. "So Craig and Tweek said they can help on Sunday too."
"That's sweet, dude. Alright, let's go see Randy," Kenny said as they exited the truck.
"Shouldn't you call Stan's dad Mr.Marsh like we all do?" Butters asked while they were walking up the road to the Marsh residence.
"No, I sold his weed to people when I needed money for the truck a few years back. Now we smoke together sometimes, and since we were friends, he has given me weed for cheap. Karen, don't tell anyone I did that, or you could be placed in foster care again" Kenny looked back at Karen, who put her arms up. Kenny walked up the stairs to the deck and knocked on the door. A few moments later, Randy Marsh opened the door in his usual jacket, flannel, and jeans.
"Hey, Kenny, it seems you have some friends with you today. Why is that?" Randy questioned with a smirk on his face. Randy was one of Kenny's closest friends, he knows it's weird, but Randy knows how shitty his parents are and understands that sometimes people just need to vent. So he knew about his little crush on Butters. Kenny punched him in the stomach lightly while laughing.
"You know who Butters is, you old fuck, and that's Karen, my sister. Dude, so much has happened in the past 4 days. Roll us a joint, and we shall tell you the story of our shitty lives," Kenny said with a crooked smile. Butters and Karen were so confused about what was happening, not moving, until he waved them up. Randy held the door open for them and said hello.
"Hi, Mr. Marsh," Butters and Karen said in unison. Randy waved his hand and said to call him Randy.
"Not to be a parent, but why are you three here and not at school at 12 on a Monday?" Randy questioned while grabbing a box of cones.
"We've had a very emotional day," Kenny said while pulling a few pieces of paper from his bag and reading from it. "Kenneth McCormick and Leopold Stotch are the Legal Guardians of Karen McCormick. This next one is my favorite. Stephen Stotch can no longer be in a 100-yard radius of his son, Leopold Stotch." Kenny handed the restraining order paper over to Butters. Randy looked at Kenny with his mouth open in surprise.
"You actually went through the idea to be Karen's legal guardian, holy shit. How the hell did you do that? Butters, why do you have a restraining order against your dad?" Randy asked while he started rolling again.
"I'm just gonna start from the beginning, which is last Thursday night when I got home," Kenny said. He told Randy everything and passed out a joint to everyone, even Karen. They all smoked as Kenny told Randy what had happened. Butters and Karen add details every now and then. By the time Kenny was done, they all had finished their joints. They heard the door close and looked over to see Stan and Kyle looking at them with disappointed stares.
"Stanley, you're supposed to be in school, you as well, Kyle," Randy said, pointing at them. Stan looked at his dad with a shut-up look on his face. Randy shut his mouth. Kenny and Butters started giggling. Karen rolled her eyes and joined in on them. Kyle and Stan realized they were all high and groaned. Stan dropped his bag and walked to the kitchen, muttering, "Not only do I have a high dad, but he's also high with my friends. I need a fucking drink." Randy heard the last part about a drink.
"Stan, no drinking till after 5pm on school days," Randy yelled into the kitchen. He heard Stan groan and started laughing.
"Hey Stan, wanna grab some snacks and drinks. Then wanna come over and help us pack and then watch Karen?" Kenny asked. Stan walked out of the kitchen with water and chips. He walked over to Kenny and smacked the back of his head.
"Yes, I will help you pack today, and no, I will not watch Karen because she's 14 and can be left alone for 5 hours," Stan groaned as he walked back to the kitchen.
"Ya Stans right, we started leaving you kids alone when you were like 10, she's 14, she'll be fine," Randy said.
"Yea, you did, and look how we turned out. Stan is almost an alcoholic, Kyle chain smokes like a mother fucker, and Butters and I smoke weed all day. We have been addicted to cigarettes since we were 15. We turned out great, Randy," Kenny said, looking at Randy.
"Kenny, why the fuck would you tell him I smoke? He's gonna tell my parents, you dumbass," Kyle groaned.
"Kyle, calm your ass down. I am not going to tell your parents. I'm the fun parent," Randy said smugly. Kenny was about to retort when his phone went off. It was an alarm to remind him he had other shit to do today.
"Butters, Karen, we gotta go in like 10. We need to start packing today," Kenny said as he got up and walked to the bathroom. Butters groaned and sat up. Stan walked back in and saw Randy walk out to the back. He was getting Kenny's weed for him. He's gonna just give it to the kid. He's been through a lot in the past few days. He walked back into the house with three jars of weed and handed one to Butters, Karen, and Kenny when he came out of the bathroom.
"You get free weed today. Now all of you get out before Sharon or Shelly comes home and yells at me," Randy said as he walked back to the farm, not letting Kenny protest.
"Just take it, dude. You need it more than we do. Now let's go fuckers, we have shit to pack and beers to drink!" Stan said with excitement.
"Sorry, Stan, no drinking till after 5 during the week is a rule at my place, too," Kenny said as he patted Stan on the back and made his way to his truck. Stan screamed fuck and moped out of his house and into Kyles's car. It was a warm day in Colorado, so Kenny rolled the windows down and blasted music on the way home.