Stolen Relics

Loki’s whirlwind of excitement had swept you up early on, whisking you from the comfort of the library.

He was a flurry of dark curls and giddiness, more childlike than you’d experienced in many years. Loki explained his theory on using apocalypses to conceal out of place events from the TVA, and it made a surprising amount of sense to you (someone who really struggled wrapping your head around the whole ‘varying timelines’ deal).

“The TVA would, theoretically, be ignorant to such actions.” You added as you proposed the theory to Mobius.

Loki was seated across from the agent, whose ruined lunch sat between them, drowned in juice and looking rather sad. You were leaning on the chair behind Loki, squeezing the back of it with nervous energy.

The others, aside from the poor man whose juice was stolen, occupying the small dining area remained unbothered by Loki’s chaotic explanation.

Agent Mobius, on the other hand, stared at the two of you with a blank expression.

“Not bad.” He finally conceded, rocking back on his chair and nodding.

Loki continued on his tangent “Take us to a real apocalypse, to Ragnarok, I’ll show you.”

Your fingers curled around the chair, chest tightening at the thought of Asgard’s destruction. Sure, you may have thought the crown and the gold everything was a bit much- coming from a peasant family and all- but it was still your home realm. Ragnarok had been a mere legend in your timeline, but according to the library’s files, it had come to pass as expected.

Surtur and Hela at the center, while the Princes saved the people. Where were you in all of that? Apparently fighting alongside Thor and Loki on the Bifrost. You had hummed at that- your future self must have grown much more talented with weapons sometime between Loki’s invasion of Earth and Ragnarok.

Finding your ‘greatest hits’ reel was high on your ‘Things to Ask Agent Mobius’ list.

“Yeah, so you two can run away back to your homeland? No.” Mobius’ tone left little room for argument, and Loki waved his hands in a placating gesture.

“No, we’re not going home. We can go anywhere.” Loki offered.

“For what it’s worth, I have no interest in visiting Ragnarok. I’d much rather visit a different apocalypse.” You chimed in, taking a moment to snatch the chair from a nearby vacant table.

As you settled, Mobius continued. “I’m not taking either of you for a stroll along the promenade, much less together to an apocalypse.”

“Oh, Mobius, come on!” Loki protested, careful to avoid hitting you with his grandiose hand gestures. “What could possibly go wrong? We gotta properly test this theory.”

“Well, here’s a fun theory: you lure me out into the field, and then stab me in the back. And that’s a theory I don’t wanna test.” Mobius countered.

Your eyes snapped to Loki’s face. It was a very valid point, even to you. You loved the fool sitting beside you, but his track record concerning trust was far from clean.

“I’d never stab someone in the back.” Loki’s ability to lie was flawless. “That’s such a boring form of betrayal. Y/N, tell him!”

You paused, looking between Mobius and Loki. Your jaw worked a moment before you opened your mouth. “I don’t think he would stab you while I’m with him. That would make me quite upset.”

Mobius looked from you to the God of Mischief, clearly unmoved.

“That’s really cute. You both are.” He admonished

“Why thank you.” You took the backhanded compliment as smoothly as possible, ignoring the condescending tone within.

“If you’ve studied my life as you say, you know I refrain from upsetting Y/N whenever possible. So, if it pleases Y/N to leave you without stab wounds, it shall be!” Loki wrapped an arm around your shoulders, much to Mobius’ amusement.

“You refrain from upsetting Y/N, huh? Like that time Y/N asked you to come to your senses and not attack one of the largest cities on Earth?” the Agent reasoned.

It was fair to say that you were upset by the attack on New York. Not a great choice, that one.

“To be fair, he was not of sound mind when doing so.” You defended. “However, I know one thing that Loki does love.”

Mobius snorted. “I gotta hear this one.”

“He loves to be right.”

Pompeii reminded you of Asgard.

The hairstyles, the dress, the atmosphere. It was all reminiscent of your home world. Even the rumbling volcano on the horizon, threatening to erupt and bury everyone beneath ash. Since Ragnarok had come to pass, you imagined Surtur did something very similar to the Golden Realm.

“Imagine. All that volcanic ash!” Loki was hissing at Mobius, and the agent was growing very listless.

He continued to hush yourself and Loki if you grew too loud, even as the people seemed to carry on with their day like you didn’t exist. “I know. We don’t wanna get too giddy.”

“Oh, lighten up.” You griped, “You’ve never wanted to see history in action?”

“I have seen history in action, and I’ve seen how cruel it can be.” Mobius muttered. “But this is just in poor taste…”

“They’re all gonna die anyway.” Loki interjected, louder than the both of you.

You surveyed the bustling street, while exactly no one paid you any mind.

“I know. Now, listen I’m gonna watch the TemPad for any variance energy. We gotta be careful.”

Rolling your eyes at the men’s continued bickering, you wandered away towards a woman who carried a basket of fruit.

“Sit mihi unum sunt?” You spoke to her in Latin, asking for a piece of fruit.

The woman furrowed her brow as she surveyed your modern, TVA-issued outfit, and slowly withdrew a lemon from the basket. She dropped it in your palm and scurried off towards another group. Presumably, to seek shelter from yourself.

You sauntered back to Loki’s side, breaking the lemon in half. “How’d I do?”

Loki smiled fondly at your bit of mischief, taking a piece of the lemon to taste. His features puckered at the sour tang, and he instead dropped the fruit to the dusty ground. You chuckled, leaning up to kiss a bead of lemon juice off the corner of his mouth. While he had a soft hand at your waist, Loki was looking mischievously at the crowd your friend with the lemons had joined.

Mobius heaved a sigh. “We need to be careful. I just- Loki!”

You froze with the lemon halfway to your mouth as the God of Lies took off running to a nearby cart containing dairy goats. He knocked the wooden gate away from the back, freeing the creatures.

“Go! Be free, my horned friends, be free!”

You had never heard Loki yell something so absurd. Your feet remained planted next to Mobius, slowly raising your eyes to his. The warning there was clear: do not join in on Loki’s antics.

Loki began to speak in Latin then, calling out to the village and announcing their imminent doom. Most simply stared with disinterest, while some paid him no attention at all. It wasn’t until the raven-haired fool switched back to English and spoke that he slowed down.

“We are from the future, right? What is the TVA? I mean, it’s from the future. Seems pretty future-y.”

Much to Mobius’ dismay, you laughed at Loki’s outrageous actions; a full-bodied laugh that you hadn’t felt since before New York.

“Is it always like this?” Mobius asked suddenly.

You raised your eyebrows.

“Loki? Um, he’s always been mischievous.” You scratched at your temple awkwardly. “I suppose the goat-liberating and yelling is… new.”

Mount Vesuvius chose that moment to display its displeasure, erupting in a wretched cloud of black ash and smoke. You jumped in surprise, instinctively holding an arm up to shield your face.

“Right on cue!” Loki hollered, “Enjoy your last meal while you can! Nothing matters!”

Able to sense the mounting anxiety around Mobius, you ran to the village square and grabbed the madman you called a lover by the arm. While you knew no harm would befall any of your group, the panic was making you the slightest bit nervous.

“As much fun as this is, my dear, we’ve got to go.”

Loki spun you into a sudden kiss, smothering the sounds of screaming townsfolk for a moment. He swept you into his arms and in a circle in a mock dance- to further disrupt the timeline, obviously- as he padded back towards Mobius. You squirmed until he placed you on the ground, metres from the chaos.

“How’d we do?”