"Steve?" Bucky called down the hallway once again. Where is he? Bucky needs to go pee bad but he's wet his diaper twice already and it will leak!
"Steeeve!" Bucky yells, stomping his feet. Steve needs to hurry up before he makes a puddle!
"Yeah, Buck, I'm coming! I was in the shower!" Steve says, stepping out of the bathroom while rubbing a towel on his hair. "What do you need?"
"Change!" Bucky whines urgently. "Now, now! Change now!"
"Okay, Buck. Just a minute." Steve says.
"No! Now! Now now now!" Bucky screams, stomping his feet and starting to throw a tantrum. He can't hold it just a minute!
"Jeez, fine! Come on." Steve says, walking towards the bedroom. Bucky hurries after him, feeling his pee trying to come out but he's trying hard not to let it.
He quickly lays down on the bed while Steve grabs a diaper and wipes.
"Now!" Bucky whines again when he thinks Steve is taking too long to walk to the bed.
"Bucky, patience." Steve scolds. "I'm right here." He untapes the wet diaper and the cold air almost makes Bucky pee right then but he tenses up really hard to hold it in.
Thankfully Steve is quick with the new diaper, and as soon as the tapes are closed Bucky immediately relaxes with a sigh and finally lets his pee out.
"Change." Bucky says once he's done, feeling a lot calmer now that he's not bursting.
Steve is both shocked and amused.
"You wanted me to change you so bad because you needed to pee? You knew you had to go? So why don't you use the potty instead of wearing diapers?" Steve says, while changing Bucky a second time.
"Diaper." Bucky says.
"No, I think you're a big boy who can use the potty. Maybe it's time for potty training." Steve says.
"No potty!" Bucky whines. "Bad!"
"It's not bad. It's good. The potty is good." Steve states, picking Bucky up. "And you'll be such a good boy for using it."
"No!" Bucky yells, squirming for Steve to put him down.
"I think you should at least try." Steve says, rocking Bucky in his arms. "We can start after your nap."
"No nap!" Bucky sobs. Steve grabs his pacifier off the bedside table and slips it into his mouth. He rocks Bucky until his sobs die down to sniffles, and he's asleep on his shoulder. He lays him down in bed and gets in next to him.
☆
Bucky wakes up first but he doesn't get out of bed. He remembers the last time he got up and made a lot of messes and got a time out.
He wants to wake Steve up to change him because he's wet - but he remembers what Steve said before nap time. Potty training. That sounds scary! He wasn't allowed to use the potty when he lived with daddy, even so much as asking to use the potty was bad and meant a spanking. He's supposed to go in his diapers because daddy told him to and that always made daddy happy. He doesn't want to do potty training. He won't do potty training, no matter what dumb Steve thinks. He only sometimes knows when he needs to go pee anyway, usually he only notices when he's already wet. So it won't work.
Steve rolls over then, stretching.
"Hey, Bucky. Did you have a good nap?" He asks.
Bucky only pouts and rolls over to face away from him.
"Aw, you didn't have a good nap? Maybe you'll feel better after lunch."
Hmm. Maybe Steve forgot about potty training. And Bucky is hungry. He rolls back over.
"Hungry." Bucky says.
"Yeah, hungry. We'll have lunch, don't worry. Let's get you changed first." Steve says.
He gets up and goes to the closet instead of the dresser, which makes Bucky suspicious, but he does grab the wipes off the dresser before coming back. He removes Bucky's wet diaper and wipes him off, then picks up a pull up.
"Diaper!" Bucky says, pulling his legs away. He doesn't want to wear that!
"Not right now, Buck. We're going to try to be a big boy today, remember?" Steve coos, trying to coax him to accept it.
"No!" Bucky whines. "No big!"
"Yes, I think you'll be much happier using the potty, then you won't have to worry about being wet or waiting for me to change you anymore."
Bucky starts to cry as Steve grabs his legs and slides the pull up over them.
"Shhh, Bucky. No need to cry. It's not so bad." Steve says, picking him up. "Everything will be fine, you'll see. I know change is hard."
He rubs Bucky's back but Bucky doesn't feel fine! He doesn't want to use the potty, it's bad, it's bad, it's bad! If daddy finds out he'll be in so much trouble!
"Let's go eat. You're fussy." Steve says.
He carries Bucky to the kitchen and sets him on a chair at the table where he sits and pouts while Steve makes pb&js and cuts up some watermelon. He fills Bucky's sippy with apple juice.
"Mmm, yummy lunch!" Steve says as he sets everything down in front of Bucky.
Bucky slowly eats his sandwich and watermelon and drinks his juice.
"More juice?" Steve asks when he sees Bucky's done.
More juice? Steve never lets him have more juice! He only gets to have one cup of juice and one cup of milk a day and then Steve makes him drink water.
"Juice?" Bucky asks curiously, handing over his sippy.
Steve fills it again and hands it back. He watches Bucky chug it down.
"More?" Steve asks.
Now Bucky's curious. Steve never lets him even have a second cup of juice, and now he gets a third? Did Steve forget he already drank some?
"Juice." Bucky says. Steve fills the cup.
"Let's go play now. You can have as much juice as you want, just ask and I'll get you more." Steve says handing the sippy back. Bucky takes it and follows Steve to the living room.
Bucky grabs his toy cars and his blocks from their drawer.
"Can I play with you?" Steve asks.
Bucky nods.
He builds the blocks up then runs the cars into it to knock it down. Steve helps him rebuild it and then he drives the cars into it again. Bucky giggles and does it again, and they just keep doing that. Bucky happily plays and drinks his juice, having Steve fill his cup twice more while they play.
"Bucky, did you have an accident?" Steve says after a while.
Bucky looks down to see, and yes, he's not wearing pants and he can see his pull up is all swollen and now that Steve's mentioned it it feels uncomfortable, all heavy and warm under him. He didn't even notice.
"Wet." Bucky says. "Change?"
"Yeah, let's get you changed. Come on." Steve says, getting up.
Bucky wonders if Steve is angry. He didn't sound angry, but he wants him to use the potty the same way daddy wants him to use the diapers, and daddy would get angry if he disobeyed him. He can't follow both daddy's rules and Steve's rules at the same time! If he can't go pee in his diapers and he can't go pee in the potty, where is he supposed to go pee?! Maybe he just has to hold it forever!
Bucky follows Steve to the bedroom, and he runs straight to the dresser and grabs a diaper.
"Diaper!" Bucky says, giving it to Steve.
"No diapers, Buck. You're gonna be a big boy, remember? It's okay that you had an accident, but you can still try again. You just need to focus more on what your body is telling you."
"Diaper!" Bucky whines. "No potty!"
"Yes potty, no diaper." Steve says.
Bucky pouts and whines trying to squirm away while Steve changes the wet pull up for a dry one.
"Now we can go play." Steve says when he's done.
Bucky follows Steve back out to the living room, stomping and pouting the whole way.
Steve gets down on the floor to build up the blocks but Bucky just sits with his arms crossed and glares.
"Do you want more juice?" Steve asks.
"Juice." Bucky huffs, still pouting.
Steve gets him more juice and Bucky finds himself happier after he drinks it, going back to playing but still pouting to make sure Steve remembers he's mad. Steve keeps bringing him more juice every time he asks though, so it's hard to keep that up.
After an hour and 5 more cups of juice, Bucky feels it. He needs to go pee!
He tries to think of what to do. He doesn't want to potty train. And Steve won't let him have a diaper. He can try to hold it but he knows he can't manage that for long. But maybe he can just try?
He squirms a bit and tries to find a more comfortable position to sit in. Steve looks at him for a moment but doesn't say anything.
He tries to stay still so Steve won't know but he can't! He needs to go pee really, really bad. He shifts a little and feels some leak out and he knows he can't hold it much longer! His hands go down to hold himself before he can realize he's doing it.
"Do you need to go potty, Buck?" Steve asks.
"No." Bucky lies, but he's still holding himself tight with his legs pressed together.
"Are you sure? I think you do." Steve says.
"No!" Bucky says defiantly, getting up. Now that he's standing it feels so much worse and he really can't hold it, even if he did want to use the potty there's no way he'd make it there!
He waddles over to the corner with his hands between his legs, standing to face the wall with his back to Steve. Steve can't see him if he's facing away, right?
"Bucky, come on. Let's go use the potty." Steve says, getting up and walking to Bucky.
"No!"
"Bucky." Steve says firmly. "I know you don't want to but you at least have to try. I know you need to pee, you're really not doing a good job of hiding it."
"No pee!" Bucky whines, but he can already feel the pull up getting a little more wet.
"Bucky, you do have to pee. I know you do."
"No!" Bucky yells, and it's too late anyway, he couldn't hold it anymore and it's already all flooding out. He feels the pull up get really warm and heavy and then the pee is pooling in it before leaking out and running down his legs to puddle on the floor.
Steve sighs. "Let's go change, Buck."
Bucky whines and stomps to the bedroom as Steve follows.
"Diaper!" Bucky yells.
"You don't need one. Accidents happen. You can try again." Steve says, retrieving a pull up.
"No!" Bucky whines, stomping his feet.
"Yes, Bucky. Come here and get changed." Steve says.
"No!" Bucky replies.
Steve raises an eyebrow. "No? You want to be wet?"
"No!"
"I think you just want to say no. Come here."
Steve has to chase Bucky around the room but he quickly catches him and wrestles him out of the wet pull up. Getting him into the dry one without ripping it is more challenging.
Bucky lays on the floor sobbing and screaming. He doesn't want to do potty training! Why doesn't Steve get that?!
"Let's go play with the blocks some more, huh Buck?" Steve says, trying to redirect him.
Bucky just screams louder.
Steve leaves the room to allow Bucky some space to calm down.
It's about half an hour till the screaming dies down and Steve couldn't be more glad for it because he was starting to lose his patience. After that it's maybe 10 minutes before Bucky finally emerges from the bedroom, sniffling and whimpering and with red rimmed eyes. He approaches Steve with his arms outstretched to be held, and Steve can't say no when he looks so sad. He picks Bucky up and lets him bury his face in his neck while he gently rocks him.
"No potty." Bucky whimpers into Steve's shoulder, before proceeding to wipe his nose on Steve's shirt.
"Why not?" Steve asks, trying to not be disgusted at the nose-wiping.
"No potty."
"But why no potty? Are you scared?"
"No potty!" Bucky wails, starting to cry again.
Steve just sighs and rubs his back.
"You know I'm not just being mean right? I'm trying to help."
"Steve mean!" Bucky sobs.
Steve is torn. He wants to help Bucky become more independent and hopefully eventually stop shifting into this baby headspace altogether, but he doesn't want to traumatize him further.
Maybe this random shift isn't so bad. It doesn't happen often, and Steve can admit he actually likes caring for Bucky when he's like this. And even if he does want to help, maybe Bucky's just not ready for potty training.
"Okay, Buck. No more potty training. It's okay if you're not ready."
"No potty."
"Yeah, no more potty. It's okay."
Steve carries Bucky back to the bedroom and changes him into a diaper. He gives Bucky his pacifier and kitty and tries to calm him down.
Bucky takes a while to calm down from being so upset, but once he does he cuddles into Steve, sniffling and rubbing his eyes.
"Want daddy." Bucky says, and Steve feels a stab of pain in his heart. Bucky still misses Rumlow after how he abused him, how he made him this way.
"He's not here." Steve says, squeezing Bucky closer. "I'll be your daddy now, if you want."
"Steve daddy?" Bucky asks, looking up with curious, tear filled eyes.
"Yeah." Steve says. "If that's what you want."
Instead of answering, Bucky curls closer into Steve and closes his eyes. He falls asleep still sniffling intermittently, and Steve kisses his head before laying him down in bed and pulling the blankets over him.
Bucky will probably wake up back to normal tomorrow, and they can talk more about it next time he shifts.