Missing Piece

The Winter Soldier is getting closer and closer to you and you’re terrified. 

‘’Come on Jamie, now would be a good time to come back to me.’’ You plead.

You decide not to move and just watch as the soldat circles around you, like a predator and its prey.

You take deep breaths to try and stay calm, you don’t make a move just in case it would set him off and you keep watching him from the corner of your eyes. 

After what felt like forever, but in reality was only a few seconds, the Winter Soldier stops moving around and attacks you. 

You have never been more grateful for your training as you are now. You are able to avoid getting hit several times, you even manage to get a few punches in but your strength is nothing compared to the Soldier’s, he barely feels anything. You fight as best as you can, avoid as many hits as you can and stay on your feet as long as you can. 

You are holding your own pretty well for a non super soldier, but unfortunately you are getting out of breath and your body starts to slow down. 

He finally manages to overpower you and slams you against the wall, knocking the wind out of your lungs. He punches you with his right hand and for the first time in your entire life, you feel the skin break. You raise your hand to your face and touch your cheek. You pull it away and see blood on your fingertips. 

‘’How?’’

You are so surprised that for a few seconds you forget where you are and what is happening, until his right hand closes around your throat and he lifts you from the ground.

Instinctively both your hands grab his wrist as a desperate effort to pull yourself free.

‘’Bucky, please come back. Please.’’ You beg as panic rises through you, your voice is strained from the pressure on your throat.

For some reason, he’s able to hurt you which means he’s also able to kill you and if he doesn’t let go soon you’re going to run out of oxygen. 

‘’Bucky.’’ You cry out. ‘’Please.’’ You try pulling yourself free as your eyes fill up with tears from the lack of oxygen and the sheer terror running through your body. 

You see something flicker in his eyes, it was so quick you thought you had imagined it but he finally lets go of you, letting you fall to the ground.

You grab your throat with both hands as you inhale sharply, trying to get as much oxygen as possible back into your lungs and ignoring how much it burns every time you breathe. You cough a few times and quickly look up. You were sure that Bucky was back, it was the only reason why the Winter Soldier would let you go but the fist connecting with your jaw and knocking you out cold would convince you otherwise once you’d wake up.

Your body hurts so badly. Your skin, muscles and even bones feel like they are on fire. You hear voices around you, but they seem so far away, you can’t hear what they are saying. You groan and slowly open your eyes. You blink a few times and look around you.

You’re still on the ground in the warehouse and you notice how the sun isn’t shining as brightly as it was earlier, meaning that it had probably been hours since you were knocked out.

When your eyes finally come into focus, you can see Steve, Natasha and Bruce rushing to you.

‘’I thought she wasn’t able to get hurt!’’ Steve almost yells at Bruce.

‘’She isn’t!’’ 

‘’The blood and bruises on her body tells me otherwise, Bruce.’’

Steve rapidly kneels next to you and gently takes your head between his hands. ‘’Toots. Look at me.’’

You still feel a little dizzy and it makes it hard to focus, but you put all your focus and energy on lifting your gaze up to meet his eyes.

He sighs with relief when he realizes you can hear him. You try to sit up but he quickly stops you. ‘’Toots, please don’t move. You’re badly injured, we need Bruce to check you out before you can move, ok?’’

You nod, at least you think that you did.

Bruce grabs his medical kit and with the help of Natasha, he starts assessing your injuries.

‘’Can you tell me what happened?’’ Steve asks you, keeping his voice soft. ‘’Where’s Bucky?’’

It hits you. 

Your mind has been a little fuzzy from the hits but everything comes rushing back and your heart is racing in your chest. 

‘’Bucky!’’ You cry out, sobbing.

Steve’s eyes widen at your reaction. ‘’Where is Bucky?’’ He asks you again, this time his voice wavers from the fear of what you are about to say.

‘’A man ambushed us and he said words-’’ A hiccup cuts you off. ‘’and Bucky was go-gone.’’

Steve’s heartbeat is rapidly increasing and he feels bile at the back of his throat. ‘’What do you mean he’s gone?’’

‘’He’s the Winter Soldier.’’ A sob shakes your entire body. ‘’Bucky’s gone.’’ 

Steve freezes and, for a moment, he stops breathing. He turns his head and looks at Bruce. ‘’We need to get her out of here, now.’’

Bruce nods quickly. ‘’Nothing’s broken or fractured. There’s a lot of bruises and some cuts but otherwise she’s ok for transport.’’

‘’Come on, toots. Let’s take you home.’’ He says softly.

He puts one arm behind your back and the other under your knees and he lifts you up from the ground. He carries you to the quinjet and lays you down on a small cot. He covers you with a blanket and kisses your forehead.

‘’Natasha, can you stay with her while I get us back to the compound?’’

‘’Of course.’’

She moves to sit beside you and takes your hand. ‘’You’re going to be ok, sweetheart.’’

You close your eyes at her words. You don’t care about yourself, you care about Bucky.

You must have fallen asleep because when you open your eyes again you are laying in a hospital bed in the med bay of the compound. 

You look around, no one is in sight. You pull back the sheet that covers you and sit up.

You slowly get out of bed as you stand up you notice how your body aches, the pain makes you groan but you push through it having more important things to do than lie in bed. 

Looking down, you see that you are wearing clean clothes, probably thanks to Steve.

You walk out of the bay and move toward the one place you know you’ll find everyone; Tony’s office AKA the conference room.

You’re not even to the door and you can already hear people talking frantically, speaking over one another.

You open the door and walk in, instantly all eyes are on you and everyone goes silent; Steve, Sam, Bruce, Tony and Natasha were all staring at you.

‘’Toots, what are you doing here? You need to go back to bed.’’ Steve moves to shoo you out of the room but you stop him by raising your hand in front of you.

‘’Have you found Bucky?’’ 

Your throat had been crushed hard enough to leave a bruise and your voice was hoarse because of the trauma, every word made your throat burn.

‘’Not yet but-’’

‘’Then I’m not going back to bed. We need to find him.’’

‘’Toots…’’ Steve pleads.

‘’Don’t.’’ You abruptly cut him off. ‘’It’s my fault if he’s the Winter Soldier again. I’m the one who fell for the stupid trap and I promised to Bucky that I would bring him back.’’ You clear your throat to get rid of the lump in your throat that was caused by the tears fighting their way to the surface. You blink away the ones that manage to reach your eyes. ‘’What do you have so far?’’

You look at Tony.

‘’We’re going through security cameras from streets, buildings and highways. I think we’re close to finding him.’’

‘’I’m gonna change into my gear, then.’’

‘’Look, sweetheart I know you want to find him and I promise we won’t stop looking until we do, but you should really get some rest and let your body heal. Go take a nap and we’ll come wake you up as soon as we find him.’’

You eyed him suspiciously, not believing that he really will wake you up.

‘’I promise. The minute we find him, we’re coming to get you. I know how much he means to you, I wouldn’t lie to you.’’

‘’The minute you find him.’’

Tony nods. ‘’Not a second later.’’

You sigh. ‘’Ok.’’

You turn around and slowly walk toward the door.

‘’I’ll walk you to your room.’’ Steve says, following you but you stop him.

‘’No. Stay here and help. I’ll be ok. Please.’’ 

Steve hesitates. ‘’Are you sure?’’

You nod. ‘’You need to find him Stevie. He must be so scared.’’ Your voice breaks and a stray tear rolls down your cheek. You quickly wipe it away.

‘’Ok.’’ Steve agrees. ‘’I’m staying.’’

‘’Thank you.’’ You whisper.

He kisses the side of your head and watches as you leave. He closes the door behind you and turns back to look at the others.

‘’We really need to find him before guilt eats her alive. I don’t know what happened exactly, but she’s blaming herself for everything. Then we need to figure out how the hell she got hurt.’’

They all agree and go back to work.

They looked for him all night and finally found him a little after sunrise. He was with a man that they hadn’t been able to identify yet. 

‘’We have to be quick if we don’t want to lose him.’’ 

Steve agrees with Tony. ‘’Nat and I are gonna go get toots and then we’ll leave. Sam, I need you there with us, in the sky. Tony and Bruce I need you to stay here and monitor his every move and update us as he goes.’’

In any other situation they would have made fun of his ‘’Captain America voice’’, today no one thought it was funny as tension rose in the room.

Steve and Nat left to get you and walk toward your room. Natasha stops in front of it but Steve keeps walking.

‘’What are you doing, Steve? Her room’s right here.’’ 

‘’I know, but that’s not where we’ll find her. Trust me.’’ He nods for her to follow him and the next time they stop it’s in front of Bucky’s bedroom door.

Steve knocks softly on it and opens the door slowly. He looks inside and feels relieved when he sees you’re asleep. He walks over to the bed quietly and kneels on the floor. His heart breaks when he sees the state you’re in. You have a gash on your cheekbone from the first punch and a big bruise on your cheek from the punch that knocked you out, not to mention your throat that was a dark shade of purple. 

He lifts his hand to your hand and gently strokes your hair. 

‘’Toots,’’ He whispers. ‘’Wake up.’’

It doesn’t take long before you open your eyes.

You meet Steve’s eyes and your heart starts racing. ‘’Did you…’’

He nods. ‘’We found him. We gotta go.’’ 

You quickly get out of bed. ‘’Is he ok?’’

‘’He seems to be.’’ Steve stands back up and helps you out of bed.

‘’Good. That’s good.’’ You take your gear that you had laid out on the bed before going to sleep. ‘’I’ll be right back. Wait for me.’’

You disappear in Bucky’s bathroom and come back out dressed. 

‘’Ready?’’

‘’Let’s go.’’

The fastest and easiest way to get to Bucky is by car, but because of your injuries Steve won’t let you drive. Thankfully Nat takes over for you and you leave the compound, following Tony’s instructions. The pain was mostly gone, except for your throat that was still throbbing. Thankfully your mind was focusing on one thing right now and the pain was pushed at the back of your brain. 

You finally come to a stop and Nat turns off the car. 

‘’He shouldn’t be far from your position. There are civilians, proceed with caution.’’ Tony says over the comm. 

You get out of the car as fast as you can and you start looking around. Your heart is pounding so loud, you can barely hear yourself think. 

Steve and Nat join you, all three of you looking in every direction to find him.

‘’Sam?’’ You look up to the sky. ‘’Do you see him?’’

‘’Hold on.’’ He says.

He speaks again two minutes later.

‘’Three blocks down from here.’’

You start running, listening to Sam as he tells you where to go.

Finally, you see him. You stop running and shortly after Steve and Natasha are standing by your side.

‘’You both stay here, I’m doing this alone. Do not intervene unless I ask you to.’’ 

Steve grabs your wrist before you have time to move.

‘’Are you sure you should do this alone?’’

‘’The last thing I said to him is that I was going to bring him back. He was ordered to kill me and yet I’m still breathing. Bucky’s still in there, I know he is. I can do this.’’

Steve lets go of your wrist and squeezes your hand instead. ‘’Be careful.’’

‘’Always am.’’ You squeeze his hand back and take a few steps towards Bucky.

He has his back to you and it seems like he is waiting for someone. Probably the man who triggered him. He’s standing in front of a building and the closer you get, the harder it is for you to breathe. 

You stop in the middle of the street and think of a way to get his attention. You probably should have come up with a plan before you needed one. In hindsight, you probably could have done something better but you were desperate so you did the one thing that always catches attention: you screamed.

‘’BUCKY!’’

He slowly turns around and it takes him a few seconds to recognize you. He tilts his head to the side and takes out the knife from his thigh holster and flips it in his hand a few times. You hadn’t realized that he had taken back his weapons after he knocked you out. He slowly walks over to you, never breaking eye contact with you.

You rapidly start talking before he gets a chance to reach you. ‘’Bucky I know you’re in there, I know you can hear him. I need you to fight for me, please. I’m begging you. You need to come back.’’

You only move out of the way when he tries to hit you. You ignore the pain that shoots through you every time you move and focus on Bucky’s eyes.

You manage to move out of the way, again, a second before you could get hit, losing your balance with how fast you moved. He takes advantage of your loss of balance and pins you to the car behind you, holding you by your shoulders. 

With the new proximity, you’re able to look Bucky directly in the eyes. 

‘’Jamie.’’ You say softly, not looking away. ‘’Don’t let him win.’’

It doesn’t seem like the Winter Soldier appreciates you turning soft on him, he pulls you away from the car just enough to be able to slam you back against it. Your body slightly shifted when he pulled you from the car, and it was just enough to break a rib as you collided forcely with the car again. You scream in pain, not being used to getting hurt you feel like all your nerve endings are on fire.

The sound of your scream makes the Winter Soldier freeze up. You notice the sudden change and feel a sliver of hope that Bucky was making his way back. 

You knew that Bucky was scared of two things: turning back into the Winter Soldier and hurting you. Now, both of his biggest fears were unraveling and it seemed to be just enough to break the soldat’s barrier.  

Steve has been watching the whole fight and not being able to intervene is driving him nuts. The moment he hears you scream, he makes up his mind: he can’t just stand and watch anymore. He has to do something.

You can see Steve running toward you from the corner of your eye. ‘’Steve, no!’’

He stops running. ‘’He’s hurting you!’’

‘’I know, it’s ok. Just let me do this.’’

You raise both of your hands to the collar of your jacket, wincing because of your rib, and you unzip it just enough for your throat to be visible. By doing so, you make the giant hand shaped bruise that’s covering most of it visible, too.

‘’Look at my neck.’’ His eyes flicker down to your throat. ‘’You did this to me.’’

You feel absolutely awful saying that, you know it’s not Bucky who did this but it was the first time that you were able to get to Bucky since he disappeared from his own body.

He lets go of you and stumbles back a few steps as if you had just punched him.

Your heart starts racing as you realize that you almost have him. You have to be very careful with what you say or do because if you do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing, you could lose him for good. 

‘’You need to listen to me. You are not the Winter Soldier. You’re James Buchanan Barnes. You’re Bucky. Buck. You’re my Jamie. You’re Steve Rogers’ best friend and you’re my best friend too. You’re Sergeant Barnes, a soon to be Avengers. You’re an amazing person. You don’t hurt people, you save them.’’ 

You look into his eyes and you finally see some life back into them, so you continue.

‘’You know me.’’ You pull away from the car and take a few steps towards him. I’m your baby doll, remember? Your baby.’’ You take another step forward. ‘’I need you to come home now. Remember when you made me pinky promise that we would never go to bed angry, sad or hurt? If you don’t come back you’re going to break that promise, and you don’t break a pinky promise.’’ 

You smile at him with as much sincerity as you can muster in this moment. 

Very slowly, you move your hand to hold his vibranium hand. You stop breathing as you wait for him to go crazy at your touch, but nothing happens and you exhale. 

‘’You told me that you loved me and that you were sorry you waited until it was too late to tell me, but it doesn’t have to be too late.’’

He looks at you with wide eyes, completely frozen. His heart is beating so fast, he doesn’t even know what’s happening to him. His breathing becomes shallow, he has trouble getting air into his lungs.

You look at him for a few seconds, noticing that something is wrong. At first, you are scared that you are losing Bucky again then it hits you; the Winter Soldier is having a panic attack and you could have cried right then. You take his right hand and put it on your chest. You hold it there as you get closer.

‘’Close your eyes and breathe. Like I showed you. Inhale as deeply as you can, hold it for 3 seconds and exhale slowly.’’

He looks like he’s fighting himself; one part wants to close his eyes and listen to you while the other part doesn’t want to do what you tell him to. You hold your breath and wait to see who’s going to win.

He closes his eyes and starts breathing the way you showed him. You let go of his hand on your chest and cupped his cheek, gently stroking it. His eyes opened suddenly and what you saw in them made you shiver, tears blurring your vision. Your breath caught in your throat, almost making it impossible to speak.

His eyes are filled with emotions, you could almost see everything that he was thinking which could only mean one thing.

‘’Jamie.’’ You whisper, barely audible.

His focus turns to you at the sound of your voice, like he hadn’t noticed you were there until you spoke.

‘’Baby.’’ He says softly and wraps his arms around your waist. ‘’My baby.’’ 

He hides his face into the crook of your neck and you feel like you can finally breathe again.

You put your arms around him, holding him tightly. You couldn’t care less about the pain from your broken rib. 

Bucky lets out the most heartbreaking sob you’ve ever heard and you can no longer hold back your own tears. You are clinging to each other like your lives depend on it and when Bucky’s knees give out from under him, you follow with him. 

‘’You brought me back. You actually did it.’’ He mumbles against the skin of your neck, eyes closed, trying to keep the tears from pouring down his cheeks. ‘’You stayed. You’re still here.’’

‘’I’m not going anywhere, not without you.’’

He pulls back to look at you, holding both sides of your face in his hands. He feels bile in his throat when he sees the state you’re in. ‘’I- I did this?’’

He takes his hands off of you as if he had just been burned. 

‘’Bucky, no. It wasn’t you.’’ You try reaching out to him but he shakes his head and you let your hand drop to your side.

‘’I thought you couldn’t get hurt. Why are you hurt and I’m not? I should be the one that’s hurt, not you.’’

‘’Jamie, it’s ok. I’m ok. We don’t know how it happened but I’ll heal. The important thing is that you’re back.’’

‘’I can’t believe I did this.’’ He looks away and whispers to himself. 

He notices Steve and Nat standing not far from them. ‘’You need to take her to Bruce.’’ He says to his best friend. ‘’Then you need to lock me up somewhere secure.’’

‘’Wh- What? No.’’

‘’The guy who did this to me, he’s still out there. I can’t risk hurting you again. What if the next time I actually kill you?’’ 

Steve walks over and offers Bucky his hand to help him stand up. Once Bucky’s up, he looks Steve in the eyes. ‘’I’m serious Steve. You need to restrain me and put me away. Keep her as far away from me as possible.’’

He wipes his cheeks with both hands and walks over to Nat.

You stay on the ground, staring into nothing. In less than 5 minutes you have managed to get Bucky back and lose him again. You feel completely numb, you couldn’t even feel your injuries anymore.

Steve crouches down next to you. ‘’Toots? Bucky’s right, you need to see Bruce.’’

You hum to let him know that you heard him but you make no efforts to move, whatsoever. Everything seems to be hitting you at once, all the emotions you had been pushing down come rushing in and you feel overwhelmed. Your entire body aches, but the part that hurts the most is your heart.

‘’Come on.’’ Steve stands up and grabs you under the arms to pull you up. As soon as he moves you you let out a little yelp.

‘’Steve, let her go!’’ Bucky yells at him and rushes to you.

Steve puts you down, confused. ‘’What’s wrong?’’

‘’I- I think I broke her ribs when I…’’ He trails off, not being able to say it out loud.

Steve understands and nods.

Bucky takes you in his arms and slowly stands back up, carrying you. ‘’It’s ok. I got you baby.’’ He whispers and kisses your temple.

Sam shows up a minute later in the van you had left behind a few blocks down. Bucky sits in the back with you in his lap while Steve sits next to Sam and Natasha sits completely in the back.

Bucky wants to stay away from you, he needs to stay away and protect you but why does staying away feel so wrong? Everything in him screams to hold you and never let go again.

As if you could read his mind, he feels your head resting on his shoulder.

‘’Please don’t push me away.’’ You whisper.

He looks down at you and sighs. He raises his hand to your cheek and gently brushes his knuckles against it. ‘’I’m not pushing you away, but until we find whoever brought him back you’re not safe around me. I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.’’

‘’I’m so sorry Bucky. This is all my fault. I never should have fallen for the stupid trap. If I hadn’t made us leave the safe house, none of this would have happened.’’

He pulls you away from him and makes you look at him. ‘’Bullshit. I wanted to leave, maybe even more than you did. I fell for the trap too, and at least you realized what was happening. I just stood there and did nothing. That asshole would have gotten to me at some point. None of it had anything to do with you. You did everything that you could and you brought me back. If it weren’t for you, who knows how many people I would have hurt. You kept me safe, now it’s my turn.’’ 

He kisses your forehead and lets you rest on his shoulder again.

The 3 others try not to listen in, which is physically impossible with how close you are all sitting. Everyone knows how close you and Bucky have gotten but no one has actually seen you have little moments like the one they just witnessed. 

Soon enough, Sam pulls up to the front door of the compound where Bruce and Tony are waiting for you.

‘’Are you ok to walk?’’ Bucky asks you and you nod.

Bruce opens the door and Bucky gets out first. He offers you his hands and helps you out.

‘’Can you check her ribs?’’ Bucky asks Bruce, averting his eyes. 

‘’What’s wrong with her ribs?’’

‘’I-’’

You cut him off. ‘’I think I broke one.’’

‘’You think?’’ Bruce raises a brow, curiously.

‘’I’ve never broken a bone before… I don’t know.’’

‘’Fair point. Well, let’s get you inside and we’ll check it out.’’ He walks back inside.

You nod and follow him, Bucky is right beside you still holding your hand.

‘’Barnes.’’ Tony warns him.

Bucky sighs and lets go of your hand. You stop moving and look at him.

‘’It’s ok. I’ll come see you later.’’ He kisses your cheek and gently nudges you towards Bruce.

You follow Bruce to the med bay and sit on a bed, waiting.

After some x-rays, Bruce confirms that you indeed broke a rib but it’s a clean break so he doesn’t need to operate.

‘’Do you mind if I take some blood samples?’’ He asks you. ‘’I’d like to figure out what happened and why you suddenly can get hurt.’’

‘’Sure.’’ You shrug and hold out your arm.

Once he’s done with his tests and patching you up, he helps you settle comfortably in the bed and covers you with a blanket.

‘’I’m going to give you something to help you sleep, ok? You need to rest if you want to heal.’’

‘’Ok.’’ You whisper and watch as he injects something in your IV tube.

Bruce stays with you until you are deep asleep and he goes back to his lab to look at your blood work. He asks FRIDAY to tell him when you wake up or if your vitals change.

It takes him 2 hours to figure out what had happened and once he does, he goes straight to the group.

‘’I figured it out!’’ He says as he walks in the room.

Everyone turns to look at him, confused.

‘’Figured what out?’’ Tony asks him.

‘’Why she got hurt.’’

‘’Tell us, then.’’ Steve encourages him.

‘’Yes, right. From the first blood tests I did after we found out she couldn’t get hurt, I figured out that her abilities were directly linked to hormones her brain would release in fights or life or death situations, that’s how she protected herself. Those hormones could be seen in her blood hours after she came home. When I took samples earlier, it hadn’t been even an hour since she fought Bucky. None of those hormones showed up in the results.’’

‘’What does that mean?’’ Bucky asks. ‘’She lost her abilities?’’

Bruce shakes his head. ‘’No. Her need to protect you was so strong that her brain never released the hormones. She knew that if you tried to hurt her, you’d be the one who’d get hurt. Worst even, if you had lost control completely and had tried to kill her instead of just knocking her out.’’

Bucky’s brows furrow, absolutely lost. ‘’Hold on. I knocked her out?’’ His mind was fuzzy and he couldn’t remember most of what happened.

‘’Yes.’’ Steve answers for Bruce. ‘’The Winter Soldier was ordered to kill her and from what she told us they both fought for a while and when she got too tired, he knocked her out and left.’’

Bucky looks up at Steve.

‘’You saved her life, Buck. I know you think that you and the Winter Soldier are one and the same, but that’s not true.’’

Bucky takes in a shaky breath and pushes the palm of his hands on his eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling. He can’t remember the last time he cried this much.

‘’I understand why you want to stay away from her, but she’s a lot safer with you than you think she is. She might have gotten hurt, but even in your brain-washed state you were protecting her and keeping her safe.’’

Bucky drops his hands and looks at Bruce. ‘’Is she going to be ok?’’

‘’Absolutely. She already started healing. I gave her something to help her sleep to make sure she didn’t feel anything while her body worked. I’m going to monitor her, she should stay asleep until morning with the dosage I gave her and then she should be fine.’’

Bucky nods. ‘’Thank you.’’

‘’It gives us about,’’ Tony looks down at his watch. ‘’9 hours to find the man responsible. Otherwise we all know she’s going to want to come look for him with us.’’

Everybody nods and starts working. 

Bucky sits in a corner and watches as everyone works. His mind racing with a million thoughts. He can’t believe that you let yourself get hurt because you didn’t want him to get hurt. He’s mad at you, furious even while also being in awe of how much you love him and care for him.

Bucky ended up helping the rest of the group after he finally got his mind straightened up. 

Unfortunately, even though they tried really hard, they weren’t able to find the man and before they knew it Bruce was walking in to tell them you were going to wake up within the next hour. 

‘’You should go be with her, be there when she wakes up.’’ Steve tells Bucky after Bruce leaves the room.

‘’Are you sure? We still haven’t found him.’’

Tony shakes his head. ‘’Go, Barnes. She needs you more than we do, if we find anything you’ll be the first to know.’’

‘’Thank you.’’ He stands up and leaves. He decides to go take a shower before going down to the med bay and changes his clothes.

When he walks into your room, he’s relieved to see that all your bruises were gone and what was left of your wounds were faded scars that would probably be gone by the end of the day. He takes the chair that was in the corner of the room and drags it next to your bed. He leans down to kiss your forehead and sits down. He takes your hand and holds it with both of his. He brings them to his lips and peppers the back of your hand with soft kisses.

He then lays down his head on the mattress next to you and keeps your hand in his. He closes his eyes and finally lets himself relax.

He dozzes of a few times but always wakes up a few minutes later, too scared to miss the moment you’d wake up.

The monitor next to you beeps more regularly as your heart beats faster, a sign that you are waking up.

Bucky sits up in his chair and watches you. He had woken up next to you more than enough times to recognize the little signs that you were just about to open your eyes.

He smiles when he finally sees your eyes flutter open.

You look around, slightly confused as to where you are. You feel a weight in your hand and look down to see what it is. You’re surprised to see another hand. Your gaze drifts up the arm and you see whose hand it is.

‘’Jamie.’’ You whisper, a smile forming on your lips.

‘’Hey, sleeping beauty.’’ He stands up and sits in the little space next to you where his head was a few minutes ago. ‘’How are you feeling?’’

He raises his free hand to your head and gently pushes back a few strands of your hair.

‘’A lot better. Tired.’’

He nods and smiles. ‘’Bruce says you’re fully healed.’’

‘’That’s good.’’ You look in his eyes. ‘’How are you feeling?’’

‘’A lot better now that I know that you’re going to be ok.’’ 

Bruce walks in your room, keeping you from answering Bucky. You both turn your heads to look at him.

‘’Welcome back, agent. How are you feeling?’’ He smiles brightly at you.

‘’Much better, thank you.’’

‘’She’s still tired, is that normal?’’

Bruce nods. ‘’Absolutely. If she gets enough sleep, in a few days she’ll be in top shape.’’

‘’Good. She’s not moving from that bed until then.’’ 

‘’I’m fine.’’ You roll your eyes. ‘’How long was I out? Did you find the guy?’’

‘’You slept for about 9-10 hours.’’ Bruce answers your first question.

‘’We haven’t found him yet.’’ Bucky answers the second one.

‘’What are we still doing here, then?’’ You sit up quickly and lift off the blanket.

Bucky stops you and shakes his head. ‘’I’m serious, you’re not moving from this bed.’’

‘’Oh, come on.’’ You groan. ‘’I’m fine! Right, doc?’’ You look at Bruce.

‘’As your friend, I’d prefer if you got more rest and sat this one out but as your doctor, you are clear for duty.’’

Bucky glares at him.

‘’Sorry.’’ He says to Bucky, shrugging. ‘’I’ll leave you two, call me if you need me.’’

‘’Thank you, Bruce.’’

You watch him leave and try getting up again, Bucky stops you once more.

‘’Are you sure that you’re ok?’’ His eyes soften up as they meet yours.

‘’I promise.’’

He sighs and helps you get up. You stretch your arms above your head and for the first time in days, you don’t feel any pain as you move.

‘’I’m gonna go take a shower and change, I’ll join you and the others in a little bit.’’

‘’I’ll walk you to your room.’’

‘’Buck, I’m ok.’’ You remind him.

He glares at you. 

‘’Fine.’’ You yield and let him walk you to your room.

It took a lot of convincing, but he finally accepted to go back to the others while you showered. 

15 minutes later, you walk in the room where everybody is currently working on finding the asshole who hurt Bucky.

‘’I got him!’’ Steve almost yells, pointing at his screen.

You move over to his desk and stand behind him to look at the screen. ‘’Yes, that’s him.’’

With now a clear image of what he looks like, Steve’s able to put him through the facial recognition program and within seconds you have all the information about him you need. 

‘’Helmut Zemo.’’ You read aloud and turn to look at Bucky. ‘’Does it ring any bells?’’

‘’Not a single one.’’ 

‘’You two are staying here.’’ Tony points at you and Bucky. ‘’The rest of us will go handle him.’’

‘’Why can’t we come?’’ You ask, surprised by his decision.

‘’I think the two of you have been through more than enough over the past 48 hours. Stay here, stay safe. We’ll get him, I promise.’’

‘’It’s probably best if I stay away from him.’’ Bucky admits.

You agree to stay, only because Bucky isn’t going either. You help them gear up and watch as they leave.

‘’They won’t be back for a while. We probably should try and get some rest.’’

You look up to Bucky and nod.

He puts his arm around your shoulders and guides you to the elevator, then to his room. He opens the door and turns on the light. He looks at his bed and frowns when he sees that one of the sides of the bed is unmade. 

‘’I slept in here two days ago.’’ You confess.

He smiles and closes the door. ‘’I should have guessed that.’’

You both crawl into his bed and he turns off the light. You lie on your side, facing each other. 

He takes your hand and brings it up to his lips, placing a few kisses on your knuckles. ‘’Baby?’’

‘’Yes?’’

‘’Why did you let me hurt you?’’

You bite your lower lip and shrug. ‘’Because it was better me than you.’’

‘’Did you know that you could do that?’’

‘’Honestly, no.’’ You chuckle. ‘’You should have seen my face when I saw that I was bleeding a little bit.’’

Your laughter dies down when you see the guilt in Bucky’s eyes.

‘’I’m so sorry.’’ His voice breaks.

‘’Don’t you dare apologize to me.’’ You say sternly. ‘’It wasn’t you who did this to me. The only time it was you was when the Winter Soldier was holding back. I told you you were strong enough to fight it, and you did.’’ 

You gently grab his chin to make him look at you. "You aren't him. He isn't you. You might share a body but you definitely do not share the same mind or the same heart."

He smiles and you let go of his chin. He leans down and presses your foreheads together. He brushes the tip of his nose against yours and lifts his hand to your cheek, stroking your skin with his fingertips. 

"You know, I meant what I said." 

"Which part?"

"I really do love you. So much." 

Your breath catches in your throat and your heart flutters in your chest. 

"I love you too, Jamie."

He smiles and looks into your eyes. "Oh I know." 

"What do you mean you know?" You frown.

"Steve told me and Sam."

"I didn't even tell anyone!"

"Apparently you didn't need to." He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. "You're just soooo in love with me that you can't hide it." He smirks, teasing you.

You roll your eyes. "Is it too late to take it back?" 

"Yup. You're officially stuck with me, no take backs allowed."

You sigh. "Fiiiine. If I don't have a choice." 

You both grin at your far from funny jokes. 

He leans back to take a good look at your face, that is now completely healed. 

Bucky brushes his thumb against your bottom lip and leans back in, this time kissing you. You smile against his lips as you kiss him back and rest your hand on his bicep as he strokes your jawline with his fingers. He finally pulls away when you run out of air and both your eyes slowly open. 

‘’I’m never letting you go, you know that?’’ 

You chuckle. ‘’I would hope not.’’ You smile.

He keeps looking at your face, trying to memorize every little detail, Bucky can tell that you’re fighting sleep and he looks at you fondly. ‘’Let’s get some sleep. I think we both need it.’’ 

You simply nod and try to turn around but Bucky stops you, stealing a quick kiss from you. ‘’Now that I can do that, I don’t want to stop.’’ 

You laugh and kiss the tip of his nose. ‘’That’s good, because I don’t want you to stop.’’ 

This time he lets you turn to your other side. He wraps his arm around you and pulls you until your back is flush against his chest, like he has done dozens of times since he met you. He waits until you put your hand on top of his hand that’s laying flat on your stomach, before hiding his face in the crook of your neck. He kisses up your neck until he reaches your ear. 

‘’Good night. I love you, baby.’’ 

He closes his eyes.

‘’I love you too, Jamie.’’ 

You close your eyes, and soon after both of you have fallen asleep with a smile on your faces. 

Bucky expected to wake up multiple times throughout the night with vivid images of what he had done as the Winter Soldier, he was more than surprised that Steve was the one to wake him up hours later as he knocked on his bedroom door. 

Both of you were startled awake and Bucky groaned. 

‘’What?!’’ Bucky is annoyed that someone had just ruined the best night of sleep he’s had in weeks and he’s not hiding it.

‘’It’s Steve. Can I come in?’’

Bucky sighs and drops his head on your shoulder. ‘’Come in.’’

Steve opens the door and walks in, looking at the two of you.

‘’Do you always sleep like this?’’ He chuckles.

Bucky pulls you closer to his chest and lifts his head to look at his friend.

‘’Yes.’’

‘’Stevie, I love you but please get on with it so I can go back to sleep.’’ You sound desperate, which at this point you are. You just want one night of sleep. From night to morning with no one or nothing waking you up. That’s it. That’s all you ask for.

‘’We found the guy, Zemo. We arrested him and I just got confirmation that he’s now at the Raft, in his own little cell with nowhere to go and nothing to do.’’

You’re both suddenly very awake and very interested in what he has to say.

‘’What does that mean for Bucky?’’ You sit up to look at Steve.

‘’His name has been cleared. Everyone now knows that he had nothing to do with the bombing and all footage of him as the Winter Soldier from yesterday has been erased.’’ 

You look down at Bucky with a grin.

He looks up at you and smiles back. He has the sudden urge to touch you, he raises his hand up to gently stroke your cheek with his thumb; making you shiver.

The look in his eyes alone gives you goosebumps. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone looking at you with that much love in their eyes, it almost takes your breath away.

Remembering that Steve is still in the room, Bucky drops his hand on the mattress and sits up next to you.

‘’It’s over then?’’

Steve nods. ‘’It’s over.’’ 

As soon as the words come out of Steve’s mouth, Bucky feels like it’s easier to breathe. Relief washes over him and he’s more relaxed than he has ever been over the past couple of weeks.

Without any hesitation he’s quick to take your hand in his own and kiss the back of your hand, the biggest grin on his face as he does so.

He looks back to his friend, not letting go of your hand. 

‘’Thanks, pal.’’ 

Though it wasn't spoken, both men knew that he was thanking him for more than just helping him tonight.

Bucky could never perfectly explain how much he appreciates Steve and his help, he could never thank him properly for everything that he has done for him since they found each other again. He gave him his memories back, he gave him a place to live, he gave him a purpose and thanks to Steve, he now had you.

His girl. His missing piece. His home.