Your Favourite Boy

He was gone. That much you knew, yet you continued to look out at the horizon, as though if you didn’t look at his absence, it wouldn’t hurt you. You had to keep looking ahead, because if you looked over at the empty space beside you, surely you would collapse a bit inside.

Bringing Loki to the soul world had been difficult, but since the Tesseract had shown you your powers, you were beginning to get a better handle on how they worked, and how to employ them without overexerting yourself. Really, you’d just needed to make sure he was still alive.

You weren’t sure how to feel about the Magus. He was, after all, connected to you in ways you couldn’t even begin to unravel in your mind, and clearly he felt a connection to you. However, blood of the covenant was thicker than the water of the womb, and you wanted to behead him first and explore that connection later.

Gradually, you brought yourself back to the Avenger’s compound, appearing on a couch, giving Cap quite the start. Thor, the only other one in the room, didn’t look very surprised.

“Y/n. We didn’t know where you’d gone,” Cap said, catching sight of your expression. “What happened?”

“I visited Loki.” That made Thor perk up. “He’s okay, we’re going to trick the Magus into going to Vormir, where I’ll kill him.”

“Why Vormir?” Thor asked, leaning forwards. “That planet is entirely desolate.”

“That’s the point.” You opened a stray chocolate bar, taking a bite. “No one for me to injure. Familiar territory. It just seems to be the obvious choice.”

“We can’t help you if you go to Vormir, though,” Cap pointed out. “You’ll be on your own.”

“Loki will be there,” you said confidently. “I won’t be alone.”

“Do you really wish to trust Loki?” Thor asked. “I know you’re adamant that he didn’t betray you, but if he decides he likes it with the Magus, he could decide to kill you and tie up loose ends.”

“I can think of no one I’d rather fight alongside.” You stood from the couch, grabbing your gloves off the counter and sliding your hands into them, adjusting the various leather wraps. “I love Loki.”

Thor and Cap froze at the openness in your tone. No one had brought up the kiss yet, but you could tell they’d all been thinking about it. Cap seemed to take the declaration as an invitation to inquire further.

“How long has that been going on?”

“I suspect since the first time we met. We have the same brokenness about us, and the pain we feel is too similar to discount. The very fabric of his soul has always enveloped mine in the sense that we never stood a chance.” You looked out at the dark sky. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I must prepare, for I leave for Vormir at dawn.”

“If you succeed,” Cap said slowly, “will you come back?”

You paused in the doorway, looking back at him. “Yeah.” You nodded lightly. “I’ll be back.”

“In what capacity?”

The answer was already known to you, but you didn’t say it, instead glancing at Thor. You could tell he knew the answer, that he knew the real reason why you wanted to go back to Vormir.

“In parting,” you said quietly, slipping out of the room, a small smile on your lips.

Dawn came slowly, and you were awake long before you needed to be, dressed in your Anubis outfit, sans mask, your outer robe atop your breastplate. The sky was pale when the Avengers gathered to wish you luck. Their words were full of bravado, but their faces betrayed the fear they felt on your behalf.

“You’ll kill him?” Nat asked you as she hugged you goodbye.

“In the most selfish way possible.” You managed a little laugh. “I’ll kill Jahamxuil with your wrath.”

Thor was next to grab you into a hug. He wasn’t wearing his usual breastplate, but he might as well have been, given that he slammed you against his rock-hard muscles.

“Next winter solstice, I’d like you to try and lift the hammer.”

“Thor…”

“I think you could lift it right now if you tried.” His eyes twinkled as he set you down, brushing off your shoulders. “Go do great things, Ævidóttir.”

“What does that mean?” You asked, adjusting your swords on your back.

“Daughter of life,” Thor said, gripping your shoulders and looking you in the eyes. “You are not the daughter of that man. He may have been the catalyst to your creation, but he is not the one you have chosen to align yourself with. Instead, you are venerable good. You act in your own name now, but soon I know you will act for the good of others.”

“I like that.” You felt your eyes prick with the promise of tears and you turned away so he wouldn’t see you cry.

“You’ll forever be the Ævidóttir to me, and anything else you choose to be.” Thor gave you one last hug. “Now go, little murder girl.”

You laughed at the contradiction, giving the Avengers a smile before turning to leave, walking through the field, still battle-torn from the events of the previous day. When you reached the tree line at the end of the grass, you turned, giving one last salute before feeling yourself dissolve into the soul world.

It was a brief passage to Vormir, and you landed on the cliffs, the wind whipping through your robes. It was colder than you remembered it.

A wraith watched you with interested eyes, but when you looked at him, he knelt, pushing back his hood to reveal a smooth, red skull. He obeyed you, like all ghosts did.

“Your honour,” he said, eyes transfixed on the ground.

“Stonekeeper,” you responded, instantly reading the content of his soul. It was easier with wraiths; they had no physical form to get in the way.

“You have come to spill blood on this place.”

“You are correct.”

“You are here for more than that.”

Smiling cryptically, you moved past him to stare out at the planet, your high vantage point offering you an excellent view of any approaching craft. You could guess the lie Loki would tell to bring the Magus here.

A part of your soul was left on Vormir. We must go collect it. Something along those lines. Something believable. Until then, all you had to do was wait.

It was a few hours before a massive ship clouded the sky, and you swallowed. It was even bigger than you’d been expecting. The Magus could host an entire planet on that ship.

“I must remind you of the rules,” the wraith said, floating closer to you.

“I know the rules,” you hissed, darting behind a stone column so that the occupants of the ship wouldn’t be able to see you, dissolving into a ghost so that their scanners wouldn’t pick up on any body heat. “I believe I know the ancient magic far better than you.”

“I do not dispute it.”

“Now would be a good time for you to get lost.” You drew one of your blades as you heard docking ramp of the ship land. The ground rumbled beneath your feet, but all you could focus on was the fact that the Tesseract, and therefore Loki, was nearby. It was a few moments before it was close enough to prick all your senses, the hair at the back of your neck standing straight up.

“Preform the magic now, boy,” you heard the Magus demand, and you snuck out, looking at Loki as he raised the Tesseract. It was abnormally bright in Vormir’s dark environment.

“Patience, my lord,” Loki’s smooth voice answered.

“I have waited a thousand years for this.”

“Then you can wait a moment more.”

Loki lowered the Tesseract slightly, and then raised it rapidly, throwing it over his shoulder to you. You had no idea how he’d known you were there, but you turned solid, grabbing the Tesseract and letting its power rush over you. Perhaps now you could see why Loki had wanted it so bad; its power was addicting.

“Ah,” Jahamxuil said, raising his chin ever so slightly. “I believe this is an ambush of sorts, is it not?”

“You’d guess right.” You tucked the Tesseract into a leather holster you’d designed specifically to hold it against your thigh. Marching towards him purposefully, you drew your other blade, crossing the two katanas atop each other and placing the conjoining part of the cross at the front of his throat, framing his neck with the swords.

“Did you think it would be this easy?” He asked, and you heard a horn blow in the distance as the ground rattled once more. The full force of his army was barrelling down the ramp, thousands of beings running out onto the black sand below the cliff, hoisting weapons.

You estimated you had a minute or so before they reached you.

“No time to waste.” You attempted to slice his head off, but your blades met unexpected resistance, your arms trembling as you attempted to force them forwards.

“I can control objects with my mind,” the Magus said with a satisfied smirk. “That includes you, child.”

“No matter.” You dropped downwards, ramming your sword straight through his gut with a roar, grinning as you impaled it on the rock, watching as the Magus’s body slid down the blade until it rested where the point met the ground. The element of surprise was always a must when it came to defeating telepaths.

“What do you have to say now?” You laughed, looking him in the eye.

“An impressive move.” The Magus’s voice came from behind you and you spun around, only to see Loki change into Jahamxuil’s hideous face. “Unfortunately, your boyfriend is not the only one capable of illusions.”

“No!” You turned back to the person you’d stabbed, only to see Loki looking up at you, drawing shuddering breaths. “Loki!”

“It’s fine,” he managed, despite the fact his eyes were glassier than usual, blood trickling out of his mouth. “Nice…move…”

“Loki.” You scrambled to remove the sword from his body, wincing when he let out a roar of pain, and you pressed your hands to his body, focusing your attention on healing his wound, doing your best to ignore the way blood coated them.

“You have to…get them…” Loki said, grabbing your hands to stall your ministrations. “Y/n? You can do it. You’re…more powerful than you think. Do it…and throw him over the edge.”

“Hold on Loki. Give me two seconds.” You could feel your magic working to repair him so that he was no longer at death’s door, continually glancing over your shoulder at the approaching army.

“We don’t have the time.” He pressed a kiss to your bloodied hands. “I can hang on.”

“We’ll go back to Asgard after this,” you promised, uncertain of what you were saying but just trying to delay the inevitable. The army was too big for you to take on alone. “You were right, I was happier there. We can make it home.”

“Y/n.” You’d managed to repair most of the damage, to stop the blood from entering his lungs, but there was still a gaping hole in his midsection. “Go. Trust your rage. I love you.”

You swallowed. Hard. The bloodthirsty screams of the army were just behind you now, and you could hear them raising their weapons, preparing to strike you. But you tuned them out. The words of Frigga came back to you now, her seemingly innocent question of who you’d fight for. Not with. You were fighting for Loki and yourself, fighting so that you could have a future together tomorrow, and so that everyone else could have one too. Because the Magus’s warpath would not end here. “I love you too.”

And with that, you shut your eyes, pulling at the Tesseract’s energy, feeling it mix with your own power, your own rage, and your own fear, exploding out in a shockwave of white light.

You stood, leaving Loki propped up against a rock, turning to face the army as it fell. Wave by wave, they died on the spot as you commandeered their souls, not letting them leave the planet; instead their ghostly projections, under your control, turned to face the Magus as their bodies collapsed. Their last breaths were more like the roar of the ocean in your ears.

“Y/n,” the Magus said, spreading his hands. “You’ve grown so powerful. Surely now, you can restore me.”

“I don’t think so.” You threw your blades to the side, your hands glowing with sheer power as you walked towards him, your army following you. You saw a flicker of uneasiness in Jahamxuil’s eyes as he backed up, moving closer to the edge of the cliff.

“I believed that your love would have made you weak, but I see now that it has made you all the more stronger. There truly is no fire like the one started by the wronged lover.”

“Truly.” You raised your hands. “You want to be restored to full power?” A small voice in the back of your head was telling you that you needed to do it, that otherwise what was to come after would not work if his soul was not repaired. And you could feel in your heart that Loki had been right. You could do it.

A hungry look spread over his face and the Magus stopped backing up, standing at attention, watching your hands as they came closer. You knew as soon as the restoration was complete, he would kill you. Probably the same second you finished. Timing would be everything.

“Yes. The universe will be all the better for it. I will be a benevolent god, once the galaxies submit to my rule. Once again, I shall be able to move the cosmos with nothing more than a thought.”

“Very well.” You pressed your hands to either side of his head and he let out a wail, screaming the loudest you’d heard anyone scream before in your life. The reparation of the soul, you could imagine, was a painful process, especially when it was as fractured as his was.

As you watched, the horns on his head grew back — curling ram horns bigger than your whole head — his skin turned a bronze colour, and his withered muscles strengthened and grew. His physical form grew larger and larger, until you had no doubt that you were looking at a god. And when he was twice your size, the magic tapered off, and you stared the Magus in those dark eyes as they turned solid gold.

“I knew you could do it,” he said in a deep, baritone voice, and then your sword went flying into his hand and he swung for your neck.

The blade never made it.

The Tesseract’s power surrounded it, forcing it out of his hand and knocking the god to his knees. You stood in front of him and raised your foot, pressing it against his chest. “Did you know I could also do this?”

“Patricide?” He asked, not looking terribly concerned. You realized he didn’t think you would actually do it. “Isn’t that overdone?”

“You’re not my father,” you said. “Never were, never will be.”

“I created you to be wise, to be a mediator. And instead, with you, you bring death and destruction. Kill me now and I shall forever be a part of your soul, a great evil you cannot erase.”

“Something tells me that I will be just fine.”

You shoved, hard.

And he went tumbling off the cliff.

Now, you knew, his soul could be properly exchanged. And what better bond to offer to sever than the bond between a god and his subject?

When you opened your eyes, you were in the soul world. It was like coming home. The aches of your muscles were soothed by the water that surrounded you, and you raised your hand out of it, looking down at the little winking gem that sat there. The soul stone. And it was like your eyes were opened to the universe. Rejoined at last.

Your journey had been a success.

There was no period of reflection, no nagging guilt as you returned to the cliff, slipping the soul stone into the pouch with the Tesseract.

“Did it work?” Loki asked as you walked over to him, kneeling beside him and stroking his hair back out of his face.

“I think so.” You smiled at him. “There’s only one way to find out.” You kissed him, feeling your heart swell and your vision turned gold as your healing magic arced through him. It didn’t take anything out of you; now that the soul stone was in your possession, there were no more boundaries. There was nothing you could not do. The soul stone would amplify your abilities now and forevermore, because only you would ever know the nuances of it.

“This whole time, he thought you were falling into his trap, when really he was falling into yours,” Loki laughed when you broke apart, his gut, his robes, all of it repaired.

“I guess he didn’t think I’d use him to actually obtain the soul stone. He definitely didn’t count on me taking a page out of your book.” You smiled at him, helping him up from the ground. “Sorry about stabbing you.”

“I think I deserved it after what I put you through.” Loki’s eyes landed on the bodies of the army, his lip curling in distaste.

“Hope I didn’t kill any friends of yours.”

“They were all on their own power quests; a bunch of vultures. I’m glad they’re gone.”

You stretched out a hand, a hum echoing in your ears, and the bodies disappeared. “It never even happened.”

“How do you do it?” Loki questioned suddenly. “How do you kill all of them and not take it with you?”

“That’s the secret.” You retrieved your blades, cleaning them on your robes. “I take all of it with me. I rationalize it in any way that I can, I’m not just a mindless killing machine. At the end of the day, I have all of it on my conscience, but I can tell myself enough lies to move on.”

“Both of us have killed those who created us. What a fine pair we are.” Loki’s comment, meant to be a joke, made you pause.

“You killed Laufey?”

“Y/n, I hated myself. I still do, sometimes,” Loki admitted. “My brother once said in childhood that he would kill every last Frost Giant who existed, and to me, that meant me too. As a foolish man, I believed that the way to earn Odin’s love was to kill all the Frost Giants, and in doing so, I believed I could kill that piece of myself too.”

“I’ve been there,” you agreed, lacing your fingers through his as you made your way down the cliff. “Learning that death powers were not generally agreeable with the population was a bit of a shock to me. There were some dark places I traversed on my path to where I am today.”

“So.” The two of you paused at the bottom of the slope that led up the cliff. Loki gave you a little smile, one that held promise of mischief and love. “What happens now?”

You reached into your little satchel, pulling out the Tesseract and handing it to him. “I’ll teach you how to use this properly, and I’ll keep the soul stone for myself.”

“What you said about Asgard…” Loki looked at you hopefully. “Did you mean that? Can we make that home?”

“I have an idea.” You flipped the soul stone into the air, catching it easily. “How about we make Asgard home base? It seems a shame to have all this power and let it go to waste.”

“What are you proposing, exactly?”

“I’m proposing that the two of us write our own destinies. Now that Jahamxuil is dead, there is no one to tell me what my destiny is or who I’m supposed to be. Maybe ending wars wouldn’t be all that bad, after all.”

Loki smiled. “Maybe not. It will mean travelling beyond anything we’ve ever explored before.”

“Good.” You gripped the soul stone and it glowed in your hand, gently bathing you in a warm light. “Maybe then I can finally put this place behind me. Race you back to the compound?”

“You got it.” The Tesseract lit up in Loki’s grip, and the two of you disappeared, reappearing on the field. The sun was just setting, dragging its golden light down the front of the building, the windows reflecting it back onto the two of you.

“Do we have to say goodbye to them right away?” You asked, your breath catching slightly.

“We ought to make it clear we’re not staying.” Loki grabbed your hand in the one that wasn’t occupied with the Tesseract. “I’d hate for Stark to do up rooms for us when we’re going to be leaving the next day.”

“You, Loki Laufeyson, are going to volunteer to sleep on a couch? Are you sure they didn’t do anything to you on that ship?”

“Sarcastic little minx.” Loki gave you one of those heart-stopping smiles, tongue darting out to lick his lips. “I’ve got my work cut out for me, don’t I?”

“Brother!” Thor’s voice boomed out and suddenly you and Loki were grabbed into a strong hug, lifting both of you off the ground simultaneously. The other Avengers weren’t far behind, watching the scene unfold with smiles on their faces.

“What’s that?” Banner asked when Thor finally released you, his gaze falling on the soul stone.

“It’s what made me.” You held it up so the others could see it, watching it glint in the slowly fading light.

“And you got the Tesseract back,” Cap said. “I don’t know where we’ll store it, but…”

“We’re keeping it,” Loki said, fingers tightening around it slightly.

“Yeah, I know, but where is the question. It chews through metal, so we’d have to come up with something else-”

“Loki and I aren’t staying,” you blurted out, swallowing when all eyes turned to you. “We’re going back to Asgard, and from there, who knows.”

“The universe is in disarray,” Loki added on, his face taking on a more pensive, more thoughtful expression than you’d ever seen on it. “Earth has you — and others like you — but y/n was made for more than this. I’m just happy to join her. Maybe I can right my past wrongs in the process, but if not, being with the woman that I love is enough.”

“You don’t want a throne anymore?” Thor said, slightly confused. “This is most unlike you, brother. Not in a bad way, but it’s almost like you’re…”

“The brother you once loved again?” Loki smiled at his older sibling, his eyes full of sincerity. “I have been the God of Mischief, a prince, and a Laufeyson long enough. I think it’s time to find out what I have beyond that. What I’ll become once I leave that behind.”

“What about you, y/n?” Nat asked you. “Will you still be Anubis?”

“That name was given to me by others. I think now I will go by my own, and see where that takes me. The day of the jackal has met its nightfall.” You felt for the blades attached to your back. “I think I’ll keep the swords, though.”

“That’s enough philosophical thought, I think,” Tony announced. “Who wants to celebrate with a little liquor?”

It was well into the early hours of the morning by the time you slipped away from the party, giving a rather drunk Loki a quick kiss on the cheek before heading outside for some fresh air. The moon was bright tonight, the air cold, and you could see your breath. There you stood for a few minutes, just breathing, until you felt someone come up beside you.

“Fury,” you said quietly, still looking out at the night sky. It was filled with stars tonight, more than you usually saw in New York. Maybe it was because you were upstate, or maybe the sky just knew that tonight was special.

“Y/n.” He said your name like a reprimand, although you knew he wasn’t angry about anything.

“What do you want?”

“You’ve entered a relationship with the God of Mischief, I see.”

Of all the things you expected him to know about that would warrant a visit, that hadn’t been it. “How’d you find that out?”

“Stark video-called me drunk as hell, and the two of you were making out in the background. It didn’t look like it was the first time.”

You pursed your lips, raising your eyebrows. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“It’s not how I thought this assignment would play out, but maybe it’s not the worst of situations. I hear you’ve been doing some soul searching.”

You snorted before you could stop yourself, tilting your head slightly. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“I’d ask where we go from here, but I have a feeling that our paths diverged awhile ago.”

“You’re probably right.”

“I think we might’ve been on separate paths since the beginning.” That comment made you turn to look at him. Fury looked more tired that usual, his forehead lines a little deeper as he drew his brow.

“That’s how I’ve always seen it,” you confessed, rubbing your arms. “This was always meant to be a temporary thing, Nick.”

He blinked at your use of his first name, but didn’t comment on it. “They tell me you’re not from around here.”

“You knew that from the beginning. There was just something blocking your vision.”

“And that was when I had two eyes.”

“The true seeing is within.” You gave him a cryptic smile.

“Why do I get the impression you’re quoting something I’m supposed to know?”

“I don’t expect you to know anything, honestly,” you said, breathing out just to watch it fog in front of your face. “Why don’t you come have a drink?”

“And interact with that drunken mess you’ve got going on in there?” Fury shook his head. “No thank you.”

“Cap is still sober,” you pointed out.

“He can’t get drunk.”

“Same difference.” You looked him in the eye, giving him a little nod. “Nice to see you, then.”

“Is this goodbye?” Fury asked as a helicopter descended from the sky, the wind from its rotating blades whipping through your clothes.

“How did you know?” You yelled over the sound.

“You know, I didn’t ever think you’d stay. I knew I could never keep you.” Fury walked backwards towards the helicopter, yelling so you could hear him. “There’s something about you, y/n. Something we could never hope to possess. Something we probably never should. And I’d like to think I’ve matured enough to know that now. It’s been a pleasure to know you.”

“I’ll see you around!” You called back, waving. “Maybe in a hundred years or so!”

“Oh, I hope I’m not around to see that.” Fury had one hand on the helicopter door as he looked back at you, something in his expression almost fatherly.

“You will be.” You grinned. “Nick Fury doesn’t die! You’re going to live forever!”

“Is that a premonition? Or a prophecy?”

“Why can’t it be both?”

“Goodbye, y/n. Give my ‘good riddance’s to that boyfriend of yours.”

“Until next time.” He gave you a slow nod as he climbed into the helicopter, the blades whirring as it took off into the sky, taking him with it. Something told you that was not the last you’d ever see of Director Fury, but you watched the little craft disappear into the sky until it was one with the stars.

A hand snaked around your waist, and you felt Loki press a kiss to your shoulder as he sidled up to you.

“What are you doing out here, love?”

“I don’t feel so insignificant anymore.” You turned to face him, your arms snaking around his neck. “Soon I will be with the stars, and I’ll be making a difference. I’ll lose that little part of me that believed I could never do anything of any consequence. Is that such a bad thing?”

“It’s a glorious thing.” His use of the word reminded you of something, as you gazed lovingly into his eyes.

“So, about that glorious purpose… Can it be amended?”

He let out a little laugh, glancing up at the stars before his eyes went right back to you. “I amended it a long time ago.”

“Do I get to find out what it is now?”

“Darling, you already know.”

You kissed him with that, holding each other under the moon and the stars as the nighttime breeze rustled the grass slightly, and the thought crossed your mind that if this was what forever was to be composed of, you’d remain happy for all eternity.

With a bit of a start, you realized that you didn’t quite care where you and Loki lived out the rest of your days. Home had long since ceased to be a place, you now knew as you rested your head against Loki’s chest just to hear the beating of his heart. Home was where the heart was.

You’d gotten another world-stopping moment after all.