Chapter 7
Loki stepped into the golden corridor and immediately felt homesick. He was back in Asgard, but it wasn’t his. He had left home what felt like a lifetime ago and it felt like this place belonged to someone else.
He walked briskly in the direction of his mother’s quarters knowing she would probably be else where but deciding to start there.
Several courtiers along the way gave him strange looks at the sight of his attire and he reminded himself to blend in. He conjured one of his old Asgardian outfits and forced himself to smile at the few people he passed. Just as he was turning the corner he nearly ran into the very woman he was headed to see.
“Mother!” He said in surprise.
“Oh Loki, I was just heading out, did you need something?” She asked kindly while seeming to look him over appraisingly.
“Uh, yes, I mean, no, not need, I just, I—”
“Loki. Calm down, take a breath. What’s going on with you? I’ve never seen you like this.”
“Like what?” He asked self-consciously.
“Flustered. Come here, let’s sit, my meeting can wait,” she pulled him by the arm into her chambers and he followed gratefully.
“Here, have a seat, are you hungry? I can have something brought for you, or have some wine,” she poured wine into two goblets for them without waiting for a reply.
Loki watched her fondly, his brow drawn in affection and eyes soft. She was just as nurturing and selfless as he remembered. She handed him a goblet of wine and sat beside him on the low bench.
“Thank you,” he said softly.
Frigga studied him and smiled sadly, “my son, my dear sweet Loki, what is troubling you so?”
He looked down at his wine completely unprepared to explain everything to her.
“I’ve been… on a journey…” he started.
“I can see that,” she said simply, “your aura is barely recognizable.”
Loki furrowed his brow and tilted his head in mild confusion, “yes, uh, well, I’ve been—outside of time,” he said with a weary exhale, deciding it was easier to just tell the truth.
“Goodness, well you must really be hungry then,” she said in a sweet teasing voice which made him smile. She always knew how to bring him back to the moment when he took things too seriously.
“Tell me, only what you need to, and then we’ll take care of you,” she said softly in understanding.
Loki took a deep breath and set the wine down, “I went places… I never knew existed, and met… other versions of myself. I was… confronted…with my past,” he thought of the reel of his future he had seen, “and I had to come to terms with who I was, and who I am.”
Loki looked far away then, “I met someone who changed me… made me want to be a better version of myself…”
Frigga smiled with a fond knowing look, “what’s their name?”
Loki swallowed around the lump in his throat and gave her a small smile back, “her name is Sylvie,” he murmured softly.
“Sylvie,” Frigga repeated it gently, “that’s a lovely name.”
Loki nodded and he felt tears prick the corners of his eyes but he blinked them back.
“But I lost her, mother, I’ve searched but I don’t have a clue where or when to look, and I feel as though I’ve been… cast adrift… without a sail.”
Frigga’s eyes were full of compassion and she cupped his cheek tenderly, “oh my sweet boy, you always were so sensitive.”
Loki sniffed, “I’m not sensitive, I just, erh,” he pouted but eventually sighed, “it’s been an incredibly trying journey to get here… And at the end of it all, I wasn’t ready for this. I fought with everything I had, and I gave more of myself than I ever have before—”
“—but you feel like it wasn’t enough,” she answered in understanding.
“It wasn’t,” he whispered brokenly.
“Oh Loki, come here,” she pulled him close and held him in her arms. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed his eyes shut tight. A tear stung his cheek and he felt her gently rub his back while she hummed softly.
“I missed you, mother,” he whispered into her hair.
“I’m here,” she said softly.
They stayed like that for a few moments while Loki let the tension and hurt subside in the comfort of her embrace. When they parted Frigga gently swiped the tear from his cheek and he leaned ever so slightly into her touch.
“Oh Loki… you’ve always been so perceptive, about everyone except for yourself,” she said softly.
He looked at her then, brows drawn in pain, “I suppose that’s the problem, really,” he sniffed quietly. Frigga gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze and studied his face.
“She’ll find you,” she murmured under her breath.
Loki’s eyes snapped to hers. Frigga smiled knowingly and stood, taking his hand to pull him along.
“Come, you ought to have a bath and some rest.”
“But mother—” he started to protest but she gave him a stern look and Loki fell silent, nodding and following obediently.