“Allison, I’m only trying to help you,” Her boss said, fiddling with a pencil on his desk. He spoke to her with a condescending softness, the sort of tone you would use with a child. The ceiling fan whirred, a dull hum permeating the room.
She nodded absently, staring past him. How many times had she been called into this guy’s office for being “off putting”? Allison didn’t need to be told she was weird, her coworkers made it clear enough.
“Everyone thinks you’ve been acting-“ he paused, finding a polite way to insult the woman before him, “-stranger than usual. I don’t want to fire you, but you gotta get it under control.”
She prayed the meeting would end soon.
But it didn’t, he went on tangent after tangent, each one about her inadequacies. It was easy to read between the lines, figure out what he really wanted to say. Sure, he could inform her that her personality was “uninviting”. But he couldn't tell her that she was too skinny, too awkward, too boring.
Allison could see through it, though. From the way his smile dropped when she spoke up, his insistence on booking her shitty jobs. If there was one thing she knew, it was when someone didn’t like her. Fortunately, she had a lifetime of experience.
She flinched, suddenly feeling a hand gently caress her shoulder. It wasn’t the calloused touch of a coworker, this was something much softer.
A smooth voice whispered, breath tickling her ear, “Aren’t you bored?”
A woman with bright makeup and a brighter suit leaned over her shoulder. Picking up a lock of the brunette’s dull hair, the clown twisted it between her fingers.
Allison kept her eyes trained on the man before her, refusing to give Joker the attention she wanted.
“Well? Do you have an explanation for all this?” Her boss asked,
“I’m- sorry,” she stammered, “they stopped giving me medication a while ago. I guess I'm still adjusting.”
He sighed, setting his pencil down.
“I can’t keep ignoring these complaints.”
Again, he began a long speech about something Allison didn’t care about. She did her best to tune him out, instead watching Joker saunter across the room.
The clown stood behind her boss, adjusting her tie. She leaned on his chair, grinning widely at Allison. Her vibrant red suit was hard to look away from, and green hair even more unusual. Mid length, messy, but never too wild. A few shirt buttons remained open at the top, displaying her prominent collarbones.
Joker had a calculated chaos about her. Her appearance, and the confidence in which she walked.
“Can we kill him? He’s so rude…” She said, resting her arms on the chair. Looking to Allison, she smiled mischievously.
“It would be easy to just-“ she made a jabbing motion with her hand, “stab him in the eye. Maybe the throat, if that pencil’s sharp enough.”
She glanced at his desk, and up to the woman before her.
Allison flashed her a warning look, now was not the time to be planning murder.
Noticing, her superior turned his head sharply, “The fuck are you looking at? See, this is what I’m talking about-“
She could no longer hear him, Joker’s pleas stealing her focus.
“I know you want to…” the clown sang, gleefully watching her hand twitch with anticipation.
She knew Joker was right. It would feel so good to put her boss in his place. Always talking down on her, treating her like shit. The thought of his blood soaking the paper strewn desk made her heart pound with excitement.
Allison moved her hand forward, inching towards the pencil.
“It’ll be a piece of cake. Just like those guys on the subway,” Joker encouraged, watching her intently.
Allison paused,
The subway. Everything felt like a blur. Splashes of blood, gunshots. The lights flickering in the bathroom.
Allison hated that she was right, that she liked killing them. For the first time in her life she had power. The real kind, not the bullshit your social worker tries to convince you of. The worst part was that she wanted to feel it again. And again, and every day after that.
What would her mother think? Her precious happy causing so much suffering, she sickened herself.
Clenching her fist, Allison shoved her hands into her pockets.
Noticing her hesitation, Joker sighed, “have it your way,”
Crossing the room, she stopped just behind her line of vision. Allison felt a hand run down her spine, causing her to shudder.
The next few minutes were filled with her boss’s dull droll. At a certain point, he must’ve gotten tired of hearing himself talk.
“That’ll be all.” He pointed to the door, looking pleased with himself. Men were so simple…
Allison turned, half hoping Joker would be there behind her. She was met with nothing but the oak door.