Carol Snaps
As Carol sped through the battlefield, holding the gauntlet, she saw Thanos aiming for the van. Knowing she wasn’t going to get there in time, she shot straight up into the air, avoiding the explosion of the van. She looked down at the battlefield, and she knew what she had to do.
She put the gauntlet on and moved so she was above Thanos. “You may be inevitable, but you certainly aren't immortal.” With that, Carol summoned all of her strength, along with her powers (which meant going full binary), and snapped. A white light covered the entire field as she was tossed from the blast to the ground. Carol gasped as an unbearable pain spread throughout her entire body, making it feel like she was on fire.
“Carol? Baby?”
Carol, with great difficulty and effort, lifted her head to look up at her girlfriend. “Nat?” she rasped.
Natasha swallowed the lump in her throat, gently lifting Carol’s body so it was resting against a broken piece of the compound.
“Did we win?”
Nat nodded, no longer being able to fight her tears.
“That’s good. Oh, Nat, sweetheart, please don’t cry,” Carol said, weakly lifting her hand to touch her girlfriend’s cheek. She never did like the sight of tears on her lover’s face and in those beautiful blue-green eyes, because it meant Natasha was sad, and she hated it when Natasha was sad. Such a goddess deserved to be showered with praise, love, affection, and happiness every minute of every hour of every day.
Natasha lifted her hand and held it against Carol’s on her cheek, still valiantly trying to stop her sobs.
“Please babe, don’t cry.”
“I love you,” Natasha sobbed, pressing their foreheads together.
Carol was struggling to breathe, her lungs desperately working to receive oxygen, resisting the darkness that was rapidly overtaking her body. “I love you too,” she managed to croak out. “Promise me something.”
“Anything,” Natasha said hastily, the tears streaming faster and faster with each second she witnessed her girlfriend wrestle with death.
“Promise me you will find love again.”
Natasha was shaking her head in an instant, defiantly staring into those brown orbs she loved so much despite how glossy her eyes were. “No, absolutely not. I love you and I will only ever love you.”
“Natasha, please,” Carol gasped, the inferno she was feeling before now ten times stronger. It would be so easy to give in, but she kept fighting because she needed Nat to make this promise. “Promise me you will find love again. Promise me that you will move on, that you will share that wonderful and big heart with someone else.”
“I can’t. Not if I’ll always love you,” Natasha sobbed.
“Shhh, it’s ok. I know, and that’s ok. Just promise me you will find someone else to love, and please, don’t push them away,” Carol said, briefly glancing over to the heroes who were watching them, a few of them also crying. “They only want to help you. Please, Nat, promise me these two things. Please.”
Natasha was sobbing, her girlfriend practically begging by the end. “I promise моя любовь, I promise.” (my love)
“Good. I love you Nat, and please, be happy again.” With that, Carol took her last breath, her hand still being held against Natasha’s cheek.
Natasha let out an agonizing, pain-filled scream and collapsed on top of Carol’s body, sobbing, gasping for breath through her tears. Nobody made a move, everyone frozen in grief and shock. After a while, Natasha’s sobs stopped, the occasional hiccup escaping until it was deathly silent.
“Nat?” Steve asked, carefully approaching his friend, not quite sure what she would do.
She turned to look at him, clutching Carol’s body in her grasp, the grief, loss, and pain evident by not only her tears (which were still streaming) but her expression and in her eyes. “She’s dead,” Natasha said softly.
“I know,” he replied just as softly.
Natasha looked between Steve and Carol. “Will you..?”
Steve, knowing what she was asking, nodded. He swallowed heavily as he bent down and lifted Carol’s body into his arms, saying a silent thank you to her. Each of the heroes bowed their heads as Steve and Natasha passed. Natasha held her head up high despite her obvious pain. Steve was the one who had to call Fury and inform him of what had transpired.
A few days later, Carol’s funeral
Natasha was numb, silent, and cold. Not the type of cold that causes goosebumps. No, the type of cold that settles so deep into your bones that no matter how many layers you have or how many blankets there are, nothing can warm it up. Natasha had decided to bury Carol next to her best friend, Maria Rambeau. Maria had passed away during the blip due to cancer. Her treatments had stopped helping so she decided to stop them altogether. She and Carol had been dating for almost a year by that point. Natasha remembered to this day how Maria’s death had affected her girlfriend, and how later on Carol said she couldn’t have gotten through it without her. Nat felt pinpricks in her eyes because of that and returned to the present, watching Fury as he went to the front next to Carol’s casket on the opposite side of herself and Monica.
Natasha was quickly able to track down Carol’s niece after everyone returned from being dusted thanks to some help from old SHIELD data, back from when Fury first became the director. She pulled Monica outside of the hospital and gently explained everything that had happened while she was gone. Monica had cried and Natasha brought her in for a hug, letting the younger woman cling to her while shedding a few more tears of her own over her girlfriend’s death. She informed Monica of the details of the funeral and the woman promised to be there. So there she was, next to Natasha as they mourned the loss of one of the most important people in their lives and got ready to bury her.
“When I first met Carol, she had fallen through a blockbuster video store and emerged perfectly unharmed, wearing her uniform, only back then it was in Kree colors,” Nick began, and everyone’s attention was on him. “She approached the patrolman, asking if he was in charge of security for the district and if she was on C-53, followed by asking where there was communications equipment. When that man called us, Phil Coulson and I never could have predicted how rapidly and how vastly our lives would change because of it and because of her. She was intelligent, witty, brave, loyal, and cared very much about doing the right thing, even if others were fighting against her every step of the way. She was also a huge pain in my ass and made me want to punch that cocky smirk off her face every minute I was with her.”
A few chuckles followed that last statement, and when it died down, Nick continued. “Many of you know about the Avengers Initiative, and how it brought together a group of heroes to help us fight battles we, as humans, could never hope to win. What many of you don’t know is where I got that idea from. It was from this remarkable woman. Her name was Captain Carol ‘Avenger’ Danvers when she was a pilot with the Air Force before she received her powers. Without her, I wouldn’t have been able to become Director Fury of SHIELD. Without her, the Avengers wouldn’t exist. Without her, aliens would have succeeded a long time ago at infiltrating our planet. So thank you, Carol Danvers, Captain Marvel, for saving us time and time again. We all owe you more than we can ever hope to repay. You were a hero to all, loved by millions, but most importantly, a friend, an ally, to us. ‘Higher, further, faster’ was your motto, and we will all strive to achieve it for you, always.”
Natasha’s head was hanging down as she listened to Nick’s speech, tears falling throughout. When he was done, she locked eyes with him, not needing any words to show him how grateful she was to him. He nodded his head at her, and everyone began stepping forward to place a rose on the casket. Natasha was the last, blinking rapidly to chase away the tears as she pressed a soft kiss to the rose before placing it on top of her girlfriend’s casket. When she stepped away, the casket was lowered to the ground. Slowly but gradually, people began to leave, but not Natasha. She stayed there, staring at the headstone, no longer holding back her anguished cries. She dropped to her knees in front of the freshly covered grave, her eyes reading over the blurry words (due to her tears).
Carol Danvers
Hero Friend Family
Aug. 17, 1962 – Oct. 17, 2023
“Higher, Further, Faster”
“Always loved
Never forgotten”
For the next few days, Natasha refused to leave her room. She laid in bed, curled up in the fetal position, and stared at the wall with a blank face, devoid of any emotion whatsoever. She refused to eat when anyone else was with her, and even then she would just nibble at whatever she had been brought. She refused to shower, to move anywhere other than her spot. She refused to wash the laundry or move anything in the room, because this way, at least she could pretend her girlfriend was coming home after an extended period. She refused to talk and acknowledge anyone in fear of her facade falling apart. She refused to fall asleep, because every time she closed her eyes, she saw Carol, taking her last breath, dying, right in front of her. She refused to go out on missions because she didn’t have the proper strength nor energy to drag herself to the bathroom, much less to the Quinjet and another state or country. She refused everything that made her Natasha and reminded her of Carol, and that included the Avengers.
It was only when she was alone and sure nobody else was close enough to hear she would break down. Sobs wracking her frame, her eyes puffy, red, swollen, and sore from all of her crying. She never gave it, or anything, much notice anymore. How was she supposed to move on and act like everything was fine when her heart was buried six feet underground?
Two years later
“Hey baby, I’m back. I know I visited a few days ago but I couldn’t not come on your birthday. You’ll be interested to know that I’ve got a girlfriend now. I’m not sure if you’ve met her but it’s Maria, Maria Hill. She takes care of me Carol, and I think you’d like her. She isn’t scared of telling me off, something you’d appreciate. She’s never pushed me unless I needed it, she understands me in ways only you could. She’s compassionate, sweet, a total badass on and off the field, but also really kind, loving, and caring. She’s also the only girl I’ve dated in these past few months that hasn’t given me a lecture on coming back here to talk to you. She encourages me to do it because she knows how much I need it. I think, in time, I might be able to love her the way I loved you. You made me promise to move on, to fall in love again, and I think I am. It’ll take time, but I think it can happen with Maria.”
Natasha wiped away a few stray tears before continuing with a soft smile. “But that’s enough of that. You’ll be happy to know Yelena came back a few days ago to visit. She’s done some thinking and she wants to settle down here, in Louisiana, to be closer to me. I think it’s a great idea, but I think Maria will get sick of her within five minutes of her being here. I can’t blame her honestly, because Yelena is a force to be reckoned with. But they’ll warm up to each other once they get to know each other better.
“Umm, my therapy is going well. I don’t know if I’ve told you, but the therapist Sam recommended has worked wonders for me. He’s patient and can handle me, something you know very few people can do. It’s been going so well that last week he said that I only need to come every month unless of course it’s an emergency and then I’m free to contact him, no matter the time of day. He’s not only helped me with your death but my past as well. It’s refreshing to not have to wake up due to nightmares, and to get a decent night’s sleep.
“All of the Avengers are good, so is Monica. She and I have stayed in contact, but right now she’s busy trying to track down Wanda along with an entire missing town, Westview, with an organization Maria helped form in 1995 called SWORD. I told her to contact me if she needed anything, but since she hasn’t I’m assuming she’s alright. Maybe I’ll try to call her later today. She misses you and says to wish you a happy birthday since she can’t be here. And she says to say hi and that she misses you, Maria.
“Anyways, I came down to wish you a happy birthday, and to let you know that I’m happy, happier than I’ve been since you saved us all. I’ll always love you, and you will always hold a piece of my heart. I’ll be back soon, so goodbye, for now, моя любовь.” (my love)
Natasha replaced the old bouquet with the ones she brought. She stood up, pressed a kiss to her fingers, and held it against Carol’s headstone for a moment. She headed down the small slope of the hill, throwing the old bouquet in the trash on her way to Maria, who was patiently waiting in her black truck.
“Are you alright?”
Natasha smiled at her girlfriend while buckling her seatbelt, settling in her seat as Maria began the drive to her apartment. “Yeah, I am. I really am.”
Maria smiled sweetly at her and placed her right hand on the redhead’s thigh. Natasha linked their hands together and they drove the rest of the way like that, Natasha thinking that perhaps Carol was right. She did have the ability to open her heart to love again.