Chemical Poison

Diamonds are formed under pressure.

Both scientific and one of literatures most prized symbols or perhaps a metaphor and a simile. Regardless, diamonds formed under pressure.

Wouldn't that mean all things under pressure come out prettier?

Oh, how they shine and sparkle. The gem of America's bustling cities and the most desired accessory for any society woman. To be the diamond of a family, the one that was undeniably the best of the bunch, was what drove so many to undergo such pressures.

The pressure to make money.

The pressure to keep breathing.

The pressure to stop drowning.

Diamonds were made from pressure but humanity was not. That was a fact Anneliese learnt early when she watched the maids of her family home constantly change; none could keep up to the expectations of her parents. It was a sight she remembered when she first arrived in America.

She was a lucky one. Her group had money. Though not a lot at all, but enough to eat, to drink and to learn.

Not all of them were lucky.

She watched them cry for food and beg for work. The sweat rolling down men's foreheads as they worked in the unrelenting sun. The ways their bodies swayed as heatstroke (such a nasty man) claimed them as his own. The women watched as well with tears in their eyes as they grew skinnier... and skinner. 

No diamonds were made. None at all.

It created angry men.

It created staving women.

... and an entire generation of lost children.

Pressure never made diamonds, not with humanity at least.

The next few days in London proved that right. Anneliese watched as so many men and women worked tirelessly to protect their country, their families and anything to end the war by Christmas. It was as if the room moved around her. Howard was busy tinkering with some machines and she sat and watched... always watching.

The secretaries at Stark Industrials never ran as much as they do in London.

The yells between business men were so much louder where she feared if the bombing sirens were to go off she would never hear it.

And so she watched.

Lunches were a thing of the past and history was sure to repeat.

Starving women and angry men, and angry women and starving men.

The saying itself was idiotic, almost ironic. Humans were not made to be put under pressure.

Seated on a stool like every other day since Howard started his work on the machinery required to meet his negotiation from five days earlier, Anneliese grew bored early. She had already read her new copy of a A Doll's House front to back countless times. Adding small annotations after each re-read. She was still bored.

Howard worked tirelessly on whatever machine he was currently drawing up. Blueprints were always a favourite of his as he loved to brag how well he could draw a line without a ruler, that he knew the exact degree an angle was, and that no one was as innovative as he was.

 Unfortunately, only two of those were true.

His lines were awful.

She always looked forward to the afternoon when the other mechanical engineers tried not to cry as they glanced at the blue print that they had to work from. None of them dared say a word against it as it was their job on the line. Not that Anneliese believed Howard would ever fire someone from ruining his ego, but she did know that Howard wasn't kind to those that did.

But it was the final few hours that killed her the most. By then, most of the engineers, contractors, businessman and other supposably important individuals would have left. Leaving her nearly alone with Howard.

That didn't sound too bad. Almost.

Howard was deadly quiet during these hours, working ferociously on whatever blueprint he was drawing up. Completely Anneliese to her own devices.

Anneliese didn't quite enjoy that.

Secretly, she had been looking forward to this alone time with Howard. To get to know him, to understand how his brain worked, and to see if this strange type of feeling within was something more. That it was more than a sudden declaration at the Stark Expo. She was scrambling for any clue, any cues.

She needed a sign. A simple sign.

Because Anneliese barely understood what love was and she was at a crossroads: to keep falling or to stop. It was the fear that stopped her. What if water wasn't below?

And yet, Howard gave nothing. Not even a crumb.

So, Anneliese did what she did best. She sat and opened her german edition of A Doll's house.

Another week went by and nothing changed but the location. Trading the grey offices for an interesting workspace where the sound of clashing metal was all that could be heard. Anneliese didn't take the time to look around the room as she knew that they would be back in the drawing room, making another blueprint. 

Anneliese was no mechanical scientist but she had never seen such a poorly planned machine in her life, especially from Howard.

But that didn't stop him from instructing a team of eleven to begin the constructions as he tinkered with the vehicle captured on June 22nd... the day Abraham died and the super solider was made. Even then, he barely spoke to her.

She had resigned to a life of solitude. When they returned to the accomodation, he always hastly picked up the mail and raced into his room. Never a word exchanged. She had even suspected that Howard regretted the situation he proposed or that he was hiding something from her.

But she never spoke or asked.

Instead she sat and read.

This time, she had both the english and german editions of A Doll's House spread out on a table and writing the comparisons. What changed, what was similar and the complete rewrite of the ending. It was the conclusion, the ending, of a german story that kept her captivated enough that she ignored the snide remarks from the other engineers and the curious eyes of old business men.

She nearly forgot where she was until she heard her name from the lips she so desperately wanted an answer from.

"Ana," He whispered like fresh grass. There was longing in her breath and she hadn't realised how much she missed the terrible nickname, especially from his mouth. "Can you check something out for me."

Even in the darkest corners were shadows lurked, there was something bright about him. Even as his dark hair blended with the almost black material he was tapping on. Even with his tan skin being starkly darker than the rest of the engineers. He was Adonis or something of the same kind. It was impossible how he made every room work with him. 

Not even his messed up hair, the wrinkles forming near his eyes or the overgrown moustache seemed to diminish his beauty. She was captured completely, lost for words and her heart raced. As if she was dancing to the tarantella just like Nora; a dance of survive, of passion and of unknown endings. 

Of course, this staring didn't go unnoticed.

He raised his eyebrow as he wiped away the sweat from his forehead. Her eyes instantly glued to his arms. A perfect ratio of muscles. She wasn't a fan of yellow on him, but he made it work as the shirt only seemed to defined his toned arms. God damn him.

Uncertain of her ability to speak, she closed her books gently. Placing her german copy on top as she slowly removed herself from her chair and walked over to Howard. He was kneeing before her, a blueprint in his lap.

Staring at him incredulously, Anneliese lowered herself to the ground in an almost squat. Unsure how to position herself as the clothing she was wearing wasn't particularly friendly to crouching. Within those seconds Anneliese regretted her outfit: the skirt was too short, the blouse was too open and the heels were too tall.

Glancing to meet his eyes as she searched for any sort of clues for his words, to call her over. She found none as Howard continued to stare down at his blueprint that Anneliese hadn't dared stare at yet, in fear of his terrible lines and the known fact that she could not read a blueprint to save her life.

Leaning over to look at the blueprint, Anneliese instantly became unbalanced. Heels were not made for this. She could not bare the humiliation if she was to fall and lucky for her she didn't have too.

As Howard basically caught her and forced her to lean towards him, well nearly. Her back was against her chest and she was almost seated on his kneeling legs. What caught her more off-guard was his hands firming holding onto her waist, as if she'd fall if he was to let go.

She probably would.

Her eyes knitted together as she looked over the worse blue print she had ever seen, complicated and genius - yes, but it made no sense. 

Before she could even voice her thoughts she felt Howard's lips dangerously close to her lips.

"Don't say a word."

That caught her attention.

Turning her head as much as possible to face him directly, she raised an eyebrow in question.

He smiled. 

It was probably the first smile in weeks that she had seen. She missed it too much, so much. Anneliese wasn't the fighting type, that much was true. She was no Agent Carter or Alexander Grey. But my god, she was a Lorenz and they played dirty. She'd do anything to keep Howard smiling at her like that forever.

It was addicting - like the vodka she held so dear in her heart. Howard Stark was an addiction; illness and the pleasure was reincarnated into him. He was the sun. The brightest in the solar system and that smile gave her life - made her want neither endings in A Doll's House. She wanted life and after all he was the creator.

In this new age of technology, she knew Howard would always come out on top and she hoped that pressure would continue to make him diamonds - diamonds in the form of his smile and kindness. An attribution she had seen in no other man but him.

"I feel like this is the most we've spoken in two weeks."

He wasn't wrong. But Anneliese couldn't ask any questions as she was too busy studying him, as if she would lose him to memory. Slowly forgetting about his small birth mark on his neck, or the small scar on his jawline. She would commit him to memory. 

Even if she couldn't have him past a contract, she would keep his imagine within her soul.

"How would you feel about making another scandal tonight?"

Almost gasping, Anneliese was taken back by his bluntness. It shouldn't have came by surprise, this was Howard Stark she was speaking too. But the effect remained, even when he pretended to point at the blueprint... as if they were-

She scrunched her nose.

And then he chuckled.

"Have you finally figured it out?"

He was purposely delaying them.

"It's a great plan, isn't it?"

Howard Stark was sabotaging the SSR.

Moving her mouth, she barely produced a whisper as she asked: Why?

His eyes twinkled and she was drawn in. They were gold and bright; honey on a warm summers night. It forced her into an abyss of mathematics and scheming - the type that one only learns at college. Wonder wasn't the right term but neither was curiosity.

He chuckled as he leaned in even closer to whisper in her ear. "If you dangle the carrot enough times in front of the horse... they'll loose all self-control and eat it." His lips were nearly on her skin, she could nearly feel the way they traced patterns on her neck. "if you dangle the weapon enough times in front of the SSR... they'll finally give me what I want."

Closing her eyes, she ignored his breathing against her neck. "And what would it be you desire?"

It was just one word.

A simple word.

A condemning word.

"Control."

Neither spoke for the rest of the day and certainly not when they slowly walked towards their accomodation. Howard believed that by walking too and from the building, that he technically owned to cover up the SSR mission, would be good press. And so, every morning and night she was swarmed by the press, by women and men who adored Howard Stark and plenty of children enjoying the excitement within the atmosphere. 

Anneliese hated it.

She hated it even more today.

She leaned into Howard as he wrapped his arms around her waist, making sure she kept up to his gruelling pace. He was always on the outside of the pathway; always making sure he was always the barrier between herself and the press.

But today was different. 

There was more people and before they even left the foyer, Howard had made the decision to call security. As she stood to the side, holding her books tightly to her chest, she watched as Howard organised a detailed security all the way to their accomodation. 

Anneliese had already suggested they just take a car, but Howard was determined to walk back. It was the most he had said to her since he admitted he was purposely slowing down the SSR's deadline for machinery - for reasons still unknown.

As Howard pulled out a bunch of paperwork, a crinkled letter fell to the ground at Anneliese's feet. Without thinking, she crouched down and picked it up. She stood there for a few seconds without reading it, simply waiting for Howard to notice.

He did not as his back was completely to her. 

Curiosity ate her up as she slowly walked towards it, desire for knowledge growing bigger than any curtesy of privacy for Howard. Until it was in reach- in sight-

It was from the American Government.

And so she read a small passage - the circle that Howard must have highlighted.

The last letter I received from you states that: Miss Lorenz has been in a serious relationship with yourself (Mister Stark) for well over a year and has been staying at the same address for an equal extent (with the permission of her father). This information is redundant from our previous conversations and letters over the past few days. The American Government does not care for the relationship status of Miss Lorenz nor where she currently resides.

As already mentioned, we have became aware of her German heritage and believe it is a security threat for the Western powers if she is provided any insight of the war. Miss Lorenz is a documented security threat and considering none of our agents have been able to completely confirm her families ties in Germany, it is only safe to assume her parents are allied with the current Nazi power.

Unless you can prove her innocence or lack of threat, we have no option but to deport Miss Lorenz and her father back to Germany. This isn't a 'racist' opinion but the collective belief that it is better to be 'safe than sorry'. 

Thanks,
The Secretary of State.

She read it again, and then again, and then again. None of it made sense. Multiple conversations? Letters? Deportation-

Deportation.

They were going to force her back home, back to Germany...

... they were going to send her father to Germany.

He'll be brutalised, murder, or tortured. Maybe even kept alive to keep her in line as that was always her Uncles favourite way to control her - to threaten her parents. 

Deportation.

Deportation.

"Are you ready Sweethear-"

Her eyes snapped to his and there was fear in his eyes. The type that scared her.

"Annelies-"

"What is this?" She snapped, waving the letter in his face. The entire lobby paused and stared. She spoke again, louder and slower. "What. Is. This."

Howard easily grabbed the letter from her and keeping her from arms length, stopping her from reading anymore. This only infuriated Anneliese further. Pushing against him, she tried grabbing the ticket.

"I was helping you. No one knows how to bargain better than me, you of all people should know that - "

"Give me the letter back," She whisper yelled as she continued to reach for the letter. "And why would I need your help when I could have done it myself! Lying about it all won't help my case."

Howard raised his voice and had it been over anything else Anneliese would had backed off, but she didn't. This was not only her life on the line - it was her fathers. So she pursued in trying to get ahold of the letter, already regretting not reading it completely.

He held it just above her head, as if he was taunting her. She knew he wasn't, but it felt like it nonetheless. She needed to know what was in the rest of the letter, to read the other letters and to be in control of the other letters. Suddenly, this entire situation felt exactly like A Doll's House. How a simple letter dictated all the choices she could have.

"If you're so scared to get caught out in this lie, which it is not since we've been in the same accomodation for the past three weeks, why don't you just pack all your stuff and move in. Regardless, why can't you accept that I'm actually helping you out of a mess you definitely can't fix on yourself and not just completely there to safe my own skin - "

"But I don't need your help." Anneliese huffed as she smacked him in his gut. 

And then realisation hit her.

"Live with you?" She cried out loud as she finally managed to hit Howard were it clearly hurt, she watched as Howard bent down with a groan - almost kneeling. "You've barely spoken to me in days and we're living together currently - and why would I trust someone keeping secrets about me?!?"

He didn't reply.

"And that's a terrifying escalation from just dating, wouldn't you say Howard - "

The way he stared up at her made her see exactly what Howard meant by playing dirty. The way he could control a room as if it was his doll's house. It all slowed just as it quicken.

"You want escalation, Sweetheart?" He whispered dangerously as he glanced up at her. His golden eyes blazing as he scrunched up the envelope in his fist. "Everything I do is for you. All of this is for you. You've completely missed the point and yet you question my faith, my trust."

His voice grew as he spoke, "So be it. Why don't we escalate then, yeah? How about this? Have half of my stupid company!" He shouted as he reared up onto one knee. Anneliese's face paled as she watched Howard loose complete control - some sort of pressure and heat getting the better of him. She watched as his voice became progressively louder as security could no longer stop the dozen of press flooding into the conference room. 

"In fact, why don't we escalate it even more and do something terrifyingly ridiculous? Why don't you just marry me, and - "

She watched him freeze as his breath caught up to him. Anneliese's eyes grew impossibly wide as the room abruptly silent. All this, over a letter.

"Oh my," said one of the passing secretaries loudly, "Did Howard Stark just propose to Anneliese Lorenz?"

Cameras begun flashing within an instant. They were instantly circled in the foyer and no security would be able to stop the storm that was just created. Everyone could see Howard knelt before Anneliese, all waiting for her to reply.

Staring down at him, she watched as his eyebrows knitted together in a frown as he let out a stifled and exhausted sigh. 

"I was just trying to help, Sweetheart." She heard him muttered to her, "And look at the mess that we are in now."