Chemical Poison

Anneliese sat in between Howard and Alexander once more. This time she sat taller, her chin higher, and her eyes slightly narrowed. She had decided upon entry that she would mimic Agent Carter; she always controlled every room she entered with a single stare. 

Feeling the weight of her gender wasn't a new experience for Anneliese, in fact she was often reminded that she was the weaker sex. But there was a slight difference between the confidence behind an agent and the employees and customers of Stark Industrials. In one place, she held power, the other she was just another pretty face. 

Suddenly, and for the very first time in awhile she thought: I am the weaker sex.

And there was Agent Carter. Leading discussions, bargaining deals with the French ambassador and putting her foot down when she was repetitively cut off by a strange man in a weird looking hat. She was power, control and somewhat stronger than she had ever seen the agent before... and she had seen the woman shoot a gun before.

To an extent, she wanted to be just like her. To defy the gender norms and claim their own destiny. Yet, there was another thought that begged to be let free of constant battle; war was always happening within the mind of Anneliese and she wondered if one more battle would cost the fight or not.

So, she simply mimicked her posture and decidedly choose to be quiet. She knew she could offer no contribution to weaponry requirements, budgets or war strategy - further more she would offer no words of wisdom of the battle plans her family had ingrained within her. Not because she disliked the men around the table, but to her these locked up secrets was normal for her. She could not seperate the bad from the good; the lies from the truths; the oil from the river. 

Then, she had decided, that her contribution wasn't even completely required.  She became a doll to look pretty, to sit quietly and to wait to speak until spoken too. Eerily similar to the afternoon tea's she would attend when her parents were travelling without her. A smile was permanently placed across her lips, her eyes no longer narrows and her chin lowered. Malleable was what was required of her, so she did exactly that.

When Alexander would yell over the noise, stating that Stark Industrials would not use more than 23% of their working staff to curate weaponries - she sat patiently and nodded in agreement. With questions being thrown at Howard about how quickly he can push out air warcraft, Anneliese did not correct him when he over-balled the time. Twelve weeks, he said. She knew it was only seven.

This was a game she knew to play. She was raised to play this role. And even when she made eye-contact with Agent Carter for a brief second, who had sighed at the obvious choice Anneliese had made: she would be a woman on a man's arm. 

That should've hurt. Anneliese knew she should have been upset over Agent Carter's disgust at her decision. But she realised, within that very moment, that not all women are built like Agent Carter. Not every woman would be given the opportunity to screw the patriarchy. Yet, the most important conclusion Anneliese came too was: Not every woman wanted to be Agent Carter.

Anneliese was a woman of science: chemistry, electron density and all the calculations in between, she loved it all. She was always a woman in business, a woman in power.

But she was also a woman without a family - one that neglected her, one that lied to her and the other on borrowed time. Anneliese craved a familial connection. And yet, she knew that would never be a path she could be given.

She was a woman in business.

Her relationship was a contract for better press, regardless of the crashing waves that collided with her walls within her heart whenever Howard was close-by. Even when she heard his declarations of love... time after time. It was still a contract - it all begins with power and wealth.

Perhaps that was the journey of womanhood - the leap from different levels of power and wealth. Where Agent Carter collected her power and wealth from undermining men and their society; she assumes Agent Carter has never tasted the dangers of such things. Whereas Anneliese, a woman who has always tasted wealth and power wanted nothing more than to explore the lower levels.

And if this exploration of levels came at the cost of her freedom, so be it. Freedom wasn't an option in her youth, and she saw no reason to try claiming it now. Considering it was never her's to claim.

So, she sat quietly once more at the table. Never staring at any agent for too long, always smiling and nodding her head whenever Alexander or Howard spoke. She would be dainty, a scrap piece of metal for Howard and a decoration on Alexander's arm. She didn't feel nearly as objectified as Agent Carter made her feel; she felt like home.

A sense of feeling that what she was doing was the very best - trained by women across Europe. She was meant to be the pinnacle of the German ruling class, and now she would use these skills to score whatever deal Howard was trying to make.

"In exchange for your chosen dollar value, we want full access to Mister Stark and 14.5% of employees."

Now that caught her attention. 

She turned to face Alexander and raised her eyebrow. He shrugged.

Turns out even if she paid attention just like Alexander, she would still have no clue what deal Howard was trying to make. Stupid or not, she knew herself and Alexander was terrified by the unknown.

He took a few seconds to reply, and when he did... agreements was made.

"13%, but all employees will be directed by Stark Industrials only. I will travel where ever this alliance requires in understanding that Alexander is to not be pulled from America - and.."

She held her breath. Waiting for the section of the deal to enrage the men in suits.

"And that Anneliese is to accompany me."

 Ah, there it was.

After what would be hours of more debate, the new assignments in white envelopes were provided. The same women from before placed them in front of every agent, business man, and other important personal. And now, Alexander lacked an envelope.  

As the men, agent carter and Howard all opened theirs - Anneliese couldn't help the grin forming on her lips as Alexander begun whispering to her.

"Can i open your envelope?"

She watched him wiggle his eyes, and she flashed him a grin in return. Passing him her envelope as she nodded, she watched him rip it open far too loudly and started scanning the document. Protest came from Commander Jameson:

"You cannot share your assignments!"

Flashing Alexander a smile, he winked at her. Before Howard could speak on behalf of her, Anneliese spoke for herself.

Smiling sweetly, she spoke confidently. "It's company policy for Mr Grey to open my letters."

Alexander nudged her waist as she spoke. Knowingly, she turned to face Howard to back her up. "Isn't that right Howard."

Watching one of his eyebrow's raise up and his lips curve into a smirk, she could tell Howard knew she was purposely screwing with the Commander. 

"Oh yes, made it into policy after her near death experience from her contribution to the cause." He paused, Anneliese smiled and Alexander chuckled. "If we are done, I have other business to conduct."

No one answered and for the second time that day, the three of them left the board room. Taking the quickest route from the building and all the way to were the car was parked. Before any of them could enter the car, Alexander interrupted.

"I'm busy for the rest of the night." He said, waggling his eyebrows.

Narrowing her eyes, Anneliese hissed. "If I find out one press has caught you in the act, I will tell Miss Cotton to destroy you completely."

He rolled his eyes as he kissed Anneliese's cheek and shook Howard's hand. 

"Don't have too much fun without me- wait, on second thoughts," He slyly said. "Have more fun without me-"

Gasping at his words, Alexander took it as a cue to leave. Smart man.

As the two took their seats in the car, the questions rolled.

"Why were you silent?" Howard asked.

"I knew my place, I wasn't required to talk."

He hummed. Another red light.

"You know you don't have to just be a doll?"

Closing her eyes, she sighed. "Howard, I am a woman. You certainly cannot expect me to act differently to what is expected of a woman... all the time."

Silence. A green light this time.

He grabbed her hand before he spoke. "I didn't mean it like that-"

"I am no Agent Carter. I was raised to know when a woman's voice is wanted... and in that room, a women wasn't even wanted."

"I wanted you."

Smiling as she sighed; the crashing waved returned in her stomach. "I don't like fighting for my voice all the time, and sometimes I rather not have one all the time. I am contempt with silence and being a doll if those nearest to me allow me to act however I want."

He nodded. And then he nodded again. "I suppose," he said, "I assume that was how you were raised?"

No answer was needed. He was more than correct.