Chemical Poison

There was nothing more heart breaking than a lie. From a single omission, a series of splinters form from each deceitful word, smile and glance. Created from ignorance... or were lies made as a protective mechanism? Ever since Anneliese was young, she knew the importance of secrets.

To live is to have secrets, it's to lie. 

When she was only three, Anneliese pretended she hasn't broken her mother's favourite china doll. At four, she lied to her piano tutor that she had practiced non-stop for weeks. She hadn't even entered the piano room. She watched her mother lie to her father when she was five, telling him that she was just going to the grocery store - she visited her brother instead. It was at age six she started to understand that lying was a skill of importance, and one her father drilled this into her.

Then it was the first family gathering. The room was filled with golden pillars and marble counters. Maids walking across a ballroom of red and green with wine glasses filled to the brim. Anneliese learnt the importance of lies when she watched her parents dance on the floor, the sounds of piano and violin flooding her ears. She had told her cousins and her aunts and uncles that her mother stayed at home with her, teaching her piano and how to knit. The lies sliding off her tongue smoothly, and suddenly Anneliese knew she would be a liar.

To be a liar is to have something to hide.

Her parents were many things: a liar, a scientist and a master manipulator. But they were not like the rest of her mother's family, they did not murder, they did not harm or torture. Yet, Anneliese knew lying wasn't much better. At age eight she was informed of her mother's actual career. She wasn't a scientist like her father or Abraham, nor was she a politician like the most of her family, she was by far the worst. A spy of a sort.

It was at age nine when her mother taught her a few tricks in getting away with a lie. The chin must never falter, keep eye contact and always have a basis of truth in everything you say. Then when she turned ten, her father took her aside to remind her that lying isn't always a bad thing. For the Lorenz's, lying kept them safe. For the first time, Anneliese understood the importance of a good lie.

Many years passed and Anneliese never forgot what her parents taught her, and unfortunately she knew that lying wouldn't be taken kindly in her new world. She had grown up surrounded by monsters, only to realise how easy it was to become the monster herself. To completely lose herself in a lie, and to feel utterly broken, in the most ugly ways of all.

And she knew this lie would be the ugliest of all, as a lie of love was the worst kind of lie. Her father always told her that she shouldn't have to lie about the matters of the heart, yet her mother encouraged the lies. To a young Anneliese, she didn't understand how her parents ever loved one another, they were so different. To Anneliese now, she completely understood her parents, and why they loved each other so deeply.

Her father grew up with a loving family, and her mother had to fight against wolves. It was a tragic story of a sort, but Anneliese knew that history had a funny way of repeating itself.

And meeting Howard's sincere eyes almost felt like a punishment for her actions, almost. She had noticed he had changed his clothing since she had last seen him. As she gazed over him in the lobby of Stark Industrials, she ignored the stares of bystanders as she tastefully took in his appearance. Even if she had to lie, she couldn't deny Howard's beauty.

There was something uncharacteristic to him. A street rat but his jawline screamed aristocratic, and his hair was always gelled with his eye brows arched. His lips were twisted into a smile, or a smirk, or a sneer... some days it was harder to tell. But in this very moment, Anneliese knew it was a smile, sincere as well. His greasy clothing was replaced by a navy suit, a blue button up shirt underneath and blue cufflinks.

Howard always looked devastatingly handsome in blue.

With her elbow linked to his, she knew she appeared completely underdressed in her work dress, black. Yet, none of that matter as Howard walked her towards the front of the lobby and once they exited. The press was already there.

The flashing cameras weren't completely new to Anneliese. She was a former press secretary before she became the head of project rebirth, but there was something more claustrophobic when the cameras were a mere inches away. If it wasn't for Howard directing her, Anneliese was certain she would've tripped over her shoes because she was blinded by one of the many cameras.

Once they arrived at the car, Anneliese took the passenger seat, Howard in the driver's seat. Now, she allowed herself to breath aloud, obviously loud enough for Howard to hear.

His chuckle vibrated throughout the air as he started the car, one hand on the steering wheel and the other in his lap. His hands seemed so at ease, casually at peace. Whereas Anneliese's were a jittering mess, the embodiment of terrified excitement. Clutching the hand rest, she didn't dare close her eyes as Howard slowly moved the car from resting to driving, exchanging the press on the pavement for press in cars. 

No words were spoken. The air around them was built from tension and it was crumbled by itself, nothing ever stood standing forever. Her gaze remained on Howard, she watched everything from his concentrated eyes on the road to his brows furrowing as the cars in front were breaking too quickly. She noticed it all: the small gap his mouth made when a camera flashed in his eyes, the tilting of his head as he waited for a light to turn green and the foul profanities he whispered under his breath. All of it was art, an unnatural type, but Howard seemed to be art. And Anneliese knew this was a fact, not a belief. She could live with that.

Another red light stopped the car, and the silence was broken quickly, efficiently. Anneliese hadn't realised straight away, her fingers growing white from her grip on the arm chair. She was beyond scared, from the press, to the scandal and all the way to her life. She was scared of lies and truths, and truths and lies. Her breathing was irregular, loud, and she would bet a pretty penny that Howard could hear it all. Every elaborated breath, feel the shaking her whole body was experiencing and her eyes staying on the only thing that seemed to calm her. 

Howard.

In all the years she'd worked for the man, peace wouldn't be a word she would describe him as. Chaos. Terror. Scandal. They were all synonyms for Howard Stark, and a sense of serenity was most definitely not one. He had made her life harder, he brought in her father for the project, he saved Abraham, he hired her, and he joined the American Government to take down Johann. He was the root of all her problems to some extreme, and she couldn't seem to hate him.

During her time in America, she wouldn't call it a place of opportunities or miracles. But Howard offered that to her, so to a degree, Anneliese knew she couldn't completely hate him. And yet, she couldn't find a reason to not completely care for him, outside of her professional duties of course. To her, Anneliese knew Howard wasn't a complicated man, but she was a complicated woman. He was be a kind lover, an easy lover... she would not be.

Maybe that was why Anneliese wouldn't let herself be so foolish and fall for him, much like how he had. And maybe that was the Lorenz or Schmidt blood within her. Regardless, all of this was eating her insides, tugging at her heart strings and certainly messing with her rationality-

-Howard's hand had moved on top of Anneliese's hand, as if he had managed to read her puzzling mind. It was comforting, his thumb gently rubbing her fingers, almost caressing her hand in his. It was an innocent act, and Anneliese still froze. Unable to move.

"What's wrong?" Howard said softly.

No words escaped from Anneliese lips, she was stuck. Her mind was crashing, and all she could do was focus on the warmth coming from his hand. She couldn't even glance down to her hand to watch him, instead, her eyes remained on the side of his face.

Slowly, she lowered her eyes to watch Howard lace his fingers in hers, still rubbing her thumb with his own thumb. This was nice, Anneliese decided. And as the car started up again, Anneliese said not a word, nor did Howard.

Until they arrived at the next red light.

"Don't play with me", Howard sighed, causing Anneliese's head to snap to meet his eyes. He was staring at her. "Your nose is twitching every few seconds, your eyes are digging holes in my skull and the whole car is shaking because of you."

Silently, Anneliese cursed in her mind, for not turning the radio on. She could've bypassed this whole confrontation with the excuse of a radio.

"What is wrong?"

The repeated question petrified Anneliese, almost as terrifying as that very first kiss, and the second kiss. 

With a shaky breath, Anneliese managed to say something, "I haven't thought this plan through very well."

Another chuckle came from Howard as he squeezed her hand tightly. His eyes remained kind, a comforting chocolate brown; a winter's night firewood type of warmth. She could potentially get used to this, the this being a fake relationship of course. Anneliese would never let herself be compromised, not in this second and not in the next life. Her first and foremost duty was to protect her father, and she knew if she was to keep Howard for herself, she made herself weak. She couldn't make the one mistake her parents made, the ultimate undoing of their entire family; love.

"Never thought I'd hear you say that", Howard joked but quickly followed up, sensing that Anneliese was growing more frighten as each red light turned green, "But you're in good hands, I've been told by my old press secretary that I'm great at causing scandals"

His eyes quickly darted back to the road as he continued driving, and it was through Howard, Anneliese got her bite back. "You weren't great, you caused outstandingly impossible scandals to cover up. You caused me to have far too many wrinkles for a twenty four year old."

With her eyes back at staring at the side of his face, she watched his smile turned toothy, almost a smirk as he replied, "And you don't even look a day older than twenty one."

A roll of her eyes, Anneliese's voice grew soft again, "How are we meant to... you know? Make it convincing?"

Another camera flashed, and Anneliese was quickly blinded. She had no clue how Howard managed to not crash the car, let alone not swerve out of his lane. Instead, he seemed completely amused by Anneliese's inexperience, especially her inability to even say the word.

"Do you mean ravish, make love, be caught absolutely eatin-"

With her left hand, she whacked Howard before interrupting, "I get the point", she puffed.

His laugh seemed to be contagious, as Anneliese's worried frown quickly quirked into a smile. As Howard moved her hand with his, still laced, into his lap.  Anneliese let out a small squeal.

"Oh come on," Howard muttered, a smirk appearing on his lips, "It's not like you're touching my naked bod-"

"I do not want that thought in my min-"

"AhHa! So you're thinking about me nak-"

"-I am not!"

A hoot of laughter came from Howard, "I'd say otherwise. You're staring at me almost obsessively. Can you tell me which is redder at the moment, your flustered cheeks or the stop light?"

With that, Howard turned to face her, a cheeky grin on his face as he moved closer to Anneliese. She knew her cheeks were burning up, in fact, she felt too hot, too scared but all the more excited about what Howard was about to do. It was Christmas Eve 1927 all over again, and she had just received her first knitting needles for herself.

He moved closer, his breath hot on her cheek as he whispered in his ears, "Lose all of your inhibitions, that is where we begin."

Her eyes must have been far too wide, as a camera flash blinded her, and left her in the mercy of Howard's lips as he slowly trailed up to her ear, his breath making a fiery path. It became torturous as Howard spoke, "Next, you give yourself, fully, completely to me. Allow me to make the first moves, and follow behind."

His lips now grazed her skin, it burnt more than spilt acid on her skin, but the burn seemed to slowly form into pleasure. She slowly became addition to the sensation, wishing her whole body to be alit in the flames of him, willing be burnt on the stake if it meant Howard next let go. She was losing herself, and maybe, it wasn't a completely bad thing. And just maybe, her parents greatest mistakes was also their greatest decision.

"Lastly, you keep your hands in my hair, always. You let me taste you in all the ways a man can drink a woman in public, and in exchange, you have a man who knows everything you need. This is how we made it convincing, by making it feel real."

Slowly, her eyes fluttered as Howard pressed his lips under her ears, a gentle kiss, before he moved away and stared at the lights, turning green. It wasn't long until they reached her house, an unnecessary amount of press trying to act less suspicious in their cars as they drive past them. Howard parked in her driveway which never homed a car apart from Howard's or Alexander's. Taking a deep breath, Howard turns off the engine, before he turned to face her, his right hand taking her left hand; both within his grasp. 

Anneliese's eyes met with Howards, the same rich golden chocolate she fell helplessly for. There was something addicting about him, and Anneliese knew she would eventually reach a point of no return if she continued this act for much longer, perhaps she had already reached that point. Maybe, she was lost to the abyss that is Howard's smile.

"Ready?"

Nodding her head, Howard left the car first and made his way to open her own car door. A gentleman as per usual. His fingers laced with hers again, a comforting squeeze, and he helped her onto her feet. She knew the press had already set up cameras within their cars, slowly creeping onto her property, and she knew it would be soon when her neighbours became night time gardeners, again. 

Leaning into him, her hands begun shaking again, if it was by anticipation or fear, Anneliese tried her best to ignore it. Focusing on Howard's words.

"Today has been a rather big day, wouldn't you say?"

An uneven giggle came from Anneliese, "I'd say, having to break up a fight between you and my father, an explosion and an invasion of privacy? I'd say I'm beyond exhausted."

Howard nodded in agreement, "Too true."

Unlocking the door with her keys, she went to enter her home, to place her bag down before she acted in whatever scandal Howard saw fit to create when she feels his hand on her wrist. It was beyond warm, and in an instant, he yanked her back. His other hand was up against her cheek as she was forced to be facing him again, dropping her bag in the process. He is unbelievably warm and before she could even questioned him, he's-

He's no longer acting.

His lips are on hers. His warm, addicting lips are against hers. Her pulse begun to panic, slowing down to freeze over before it starts again, beating too quickly, far too spontaneously. It's not quite like the other kiss which was gentle, loving, caring. This was dangerous, this was what scandal was made out of. And Howards mouth is on hers, not quite kissing her, but it's there... right there. 

Gasping, her mouth open, is when he starts kissing her. His hands firm on the edges of her jaw, swallowing her soft gasp as his lips forces hers to part. Her breaths are stolen, and she steals his, a warm, confident with hints of caffeine breath. Then, his fingers bury into her hair, slowly unpinning her bun and letting it loose, and Anneliese is in shock. Unable to move. What had Howard said to do firs- Lose all of your inhibitions.

In a shuttering breath, Anneliese leans towards him. Her hands no longer frozen at her side and finding his wrist, gently holding onto them. Hardly noticing the way his hand was bruising her wrist, or the intoxicating tightness of his fingers against her jaw. And then his nose brushes against the skin beneath her cheekbones, slanting his mouth over hers, and it feels real, as if a chemical reaction was occurring all over her.

This was poison, and she relished it it.

But he was kissing her, aggressively, passionately and... her mind was reeling. And it all stops as Howard's tongue brushes across the her teeth, flicking around in some sort of enigmatic way. Pulses were firing all over her body, knots forming in her lower stomach and a tightness begin to form from all the tension... and she let it all out. At the sound of his voice, the sound he made, a quiet, soft sound. Not quite a gasp or a groan, but a mix of the two, subtle in all the ways.

But Anneliese knew what it meant, it screamed HER, and it screamed MORE.

It felt explosive, her entire nervous system went into overload as she lost all control of her body, no longer a dainty and holding onto his wrist, she suddenly tangles her fingers into his collar. Pulling him closer. Twisting one finger around his tie. It was freedom, and it felt like she had just woken up anew.

Her other hand found his hair, no longer sporting its slicked back look from the drive over to her house. Instead, her fingers dug into his curls, gripping onto it as if it was her lifeline. It was saving her from drowning because of Howard. 

She makes her own sound, almost a desperate sort of sound that she had never heard before, and she wants him even closer. This was unravelling, this was the destruction of all good things, and maybe this was the truth and lies, and lies and truth. It was the lie in the truth, she didn't want this. And yet, her tongue meets his, fluttering against it and she feels his hands tighten in her hair. Forcing her closer, and increasing the pressure of the kiss. This was both torture and love, and it was terrifyingly beautiful. 

The danger of luxury; the pleasure of a sinner.

Between his eyelashes brushing against her skin and his tongue delving into her mouth, she realised that she would be lying to herself that she didn't want this. From the blinding cameras flashing from behind Howard and the warmth of his touch... she wants this.

He spins them around. Presses her back against a porch pillar. His arms belts around her lower back as he draws her body against his, pulling her hips forward and slams them back against the pillar as he kisses her, over and over again. And it burns and he tastes like - he tastes addictive like ever. He tastes how vodka feels. Her brain is scrambled as her heart begins stuttering, and she couldn't even comprehed to reconcile the feeling taking root in the pits of her stomach. And she feels it, the unspeakable and distinct hardness against her inner thigh, and she can feel his racing pulse of his heart against her chest. 

Not even the flashing cameras stops her, she digs deeper into his hair, her other hand finding a small curl on the back of his neck, and she hears the addictive low sound from Howard, an almost word. Distinctly similar to her name. And he breaks away from her mouth, and suddenly he's exploring new terrority. His lips discovering the unknown, seeking something new, and she knows she has never been kissed like this... and if she knew any better, she knew no other man would kiss her like this again. Her pulse is hammering, and his mouth presses kisses against it, and if he was to rip her throat out with his teeth right now, she would let him. It was an inescapable desire building within her. 

But it's not his teeth, it's his tongue. Tracing the veins in her neck, pausing to warm her skin with his lips, suckling at it. She can feel the bruises forming, as he moves across all over her skin, all rationality escaping as he's right below her ear when he stops.

The heaving breathlessness of Howard nearly made Anneliese cower had Howard not been holding her waist with a bruising force. The tickle across her ear as Howard whispered, "Invite me inside."

Anneliese automatically went to argue when Howard start kissing below her ear again, and the desperate, almost wanton, sound left her lips. And she knew she was fucked, absolutely fucked. Letting her hands dropped from his hair, she took his hand as she opened the door and leading him inside. Her bag kicked inside by Howard.

"Turn the light on before you close the door," Howard mumbled into her flesh, Anneliese could only act obediently. Anything to keep the flame on her skin.

With the light on, Anneliese quickly lost all common sense as Howard moved away from her and she saw his eyes for the first time. Hungry, thirsty and satisfied. Potentially aroused.

"This is how we start a scandal."

And he presses his lips punishingly hard on her lips as he closed the door hard, but that wasn't before he flashed something to the press, only visible from the bright white flashes.

It was a black square box, but not like any other box. 

There was a ring in this box.