Afraid Of Letting Go

The hum of the ship was the only sound other than Natasha occasionally speaking to Stark. The pair led the Quinjet through the wind, making their way to their destination. The others had already been dropped off to find Wanda and Vision.

In the back, everyone was either asleep or lost in their thoughts. 

That was until a loud 'thump" interrupted them. Something, or someone, was on top of the Quinjet. Tony quickly got up, Loki and Rhoedy only a second after him. 

"What was that, Mr. Stark?" The teen asked, lifting his hand, his web shooters ready to take aim. Tony regarded Peter with one look before walking to the cockpit, where Natasha was.

"Not sure kid." He opened the door to the cockpit, his eyebrow raised in question. "Got any idea what the fuck that was?"

Natasha was leaning to the side, trying to get a better view of what had landed on the roof.

"What the hell?!" Tony turned around just in time to see a face, an inhumane face, appear in the window, peeking at them upside down. Peter was holding onto his heart as if he had just gotten a heart attack, and to be fair, if Tony had seen that alien face pop out at him, he would have screamed too.

He ran over to the rest of the group just as Natasha yelled at them. 

"There's a ship right behind us; it's coming down to us!" Bruce, who had fallen asleep, had woken up by now, and everyone was on high alert, looking at each other as they tried to process what was happening. 

"Alright, Tony, you can fly; let's get you out there." Tony nodded at Nat before shaking his head, clearing his thoughts, and letting himself process this all in a minute when there wasn't a fucking alien on the roof of the jet.

"It's the Chitauri, most likely sent by Ebony to figure out our location." Loki interrupted. That was the point where Tony really said 'Fuck it', opening the top latch and tapping his chest, waiting for his armor to spread completely over him, before climbing out on top of the jet.

"Alright, Ugly. Let's get you off this jet." Stark said to the Chitauri soldier as the alien chittered, running at Tony, its claws stretched out. "Oh my god, you're even uglier up close."

Raising his repulsor, he shot the Chitauri down with a few shots, its body falling off of the jet and down to Earth. Not his problem anymore.

The soldiers were jumping down from their ship on the jet, and Tony grabbed him in midair and swung him onto the Quinjet, punching it a few times before throwing it over the jet, only watching for a second as the Chitauri went hurtling towards the ground at full speed. They definitely wouldn't survive that.

Well, hopefully, would be a better word choice.

"How's it going out there?" Nat's voice rang out in his suit, startling him only for a second.

Kicking another soldier off of himself, Tony answered. "Not that well; the pilot of the spaceship is speeding up. Most likely to try to block us; stay on the lookout, Nat."

"Got it." The link was cut off, and Natasha sighed but nodded her head nonetheless. 

Honestly, she was tired of aliens. 

Why couldn't there be an invasion of unicorns or something, Everyone would love that.

"Is there anyone else that can help Stark?" Natasha asked.

Bruce quietly raised his hand, turning Natasha's attention to him. "Oh no, I'm not going, but I think maybe we should keep Spiderman over here inside before Tony loses it." She gave a nod, agreeing with the scientist. 

"Aw, man." Peter sat down with a huff, seemingly cursing the existence of the entire universe.

Loki was quick to begin his way up when Peter's voice interrupted him. 

"Where is he going? I don't see any wings or armor on him." 

"I don't need them." Natasha's lips tightened at the clipped answer the green-eyed man had given.

"Don't think about it too much, Nat. He's done this before." Bruce assured her, seemingly too tired to even argue with the god. Bruce gave a knowing smile to Loki, and Loki returned the gesture with a quirk of his lips. Both of them stopped for a moment to recall their escape from Sakaar. 

Not mulling it over too much, Nat turned back to the controls, and Loki took that as his answer, grabbing the small earpiece Bruce handed him.

"If you want to talk on the comms, just hold the earpiece down or double-tap it, and then everyone with an earpiece or in the jet should be able to hear you." Loki gave a nod, processing the information and pressing it into his ear before he climbed back up the ladder. A Chitauri met him halfway, swinging down and trying to hit Loki as he rose up.

Punching the Chitauri soldier away, Loki jumped on the roof, closing the hatch. 

He took a quick survey of what was happening. A few feet away from him, Stark was in midair, trying to get rid of the two Chitauri soldiers climbing and clawing at him.

Loki didn't waste another second before green tendrils wrapped around his arms, and he pulled the Chitauri off of Stark. His seidr had been restored, even if just a bit. He'd have to thank Strange later. After that, he let him fall through a void for thirty minutes. 

Stark gave him a nod, silently thanking him as he flew back onto the roof of the Quinjet. 

Following Bruce's instructions, Loki pressed his earpiece down, his voice ringing out on all the comms. 

"Go for the pilots, if they're down, the ship will go down. They can't survive from this height." 

"Got it, Bambi," Stark answered back. 

Loki ran down the Quinjet, ignoring Stark's nickname for him (by the Norns, what was a Bambi-), jumping off the windshield where he could see Natasha ordering Bruce to take the controls as they piloted the Quinjet away from the ship heading towards them. He grabbed onto the foot rail of the spaceship, the unexpected weight pulling it down a few pegs. 

The god hauled himself up, barely dodging a punch that would have surely sent him falling. The door of the ship was open, a crowd of Chitauri's faces greeting him. 

They really were hideous. Guess Thanos wants his army to resemble him. 

Pulling his axe out of his sheath, he flicked it open, the double blades shining in all their glory in the sunlight. Hopefully, the Avengers got his message and will help him out. 

His questions were answered as Stark shot off two Chitauri on the opposite side of the spaceship. Not wasting another second, Loki swung his axe around, beheading one Chitauri as two others ran up to him, chittering noises getting louder. Loki kicked one right out of the spaceship and exchanged a few blows with the other, another Chitauri joined in on the fight and managed to pin Loki to the floor of the ship, both landing a few blows on Loki. 

Bringing his leg up, he placed it firmly on one of the soldier's chests and kicked as hard as he could, the twist in his ankle almost making him scream in agony. His ankle was certainly broken now, if it wasn't already. The Chitauri soldier that he had hit, made contact with the roof and fell back down on Loki, who pushed the wailing soldier off of him.

The other Chitauri was killed by another swipe to the chest from his axe, once he got back on his feet. 

He hobbled on his leg for a second, trying to figure out an angle to walk so he wouldn't want to curl up and die. He was raised as an Asgardian for Norn's sake. A Jotunn and an Asgardian, but an Asgardian upbringing nonetheless. A true Asgardian wouldn't give up because of a broken ankle. 

With that in mind, Loki pushed forward, leaving the rest of the Chitauri as the other Avenger's problem. He had to get to the pilot. Looking out the window, he was greeted by the faces of Natasha and Bruce. They were focused on trying to get away from the spaceship, but the two pilots were sticking to their side quite well. 

It's time to change that. 

Running to the cockpit, Loki shouldered down the door, startling both the pilots. 

"Remember me?" 

To no surprise, he got angry chitters in return. Scoffing, Loki stabbed the first pilot with his axe before he even got out of his seat. The other hit a few buttons quickly, setting the ship to float midair, and came charging at him. 

"No respect for your favorite general?" Again, the soldier chittered and added in a hiss just for good measure. They really didn't know anything about respect, did they? Well, if Odin were here, he would have said something about how the discipline has to be learned. Something like, "Learning the hard way is the best way.' 

And well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 

Even if the apple didn't belong to the tree in the first place. 

Loki punched the soldier in the face, flicking his axe closed with his other hand. He used the butt of his axe to hit the soldier in the face. A snap of the jaw was heard, and damn, that had to have hurt. Good thing Loki's morals weren't all in the right place. 

Hefting the soldier up from its daze, Loki threw it at the window, the soldier shattering the windshield and hurtling through the air. 

Letting out a huff, Loki walked to the control panel, He readied himself to make a run for it, sheathing his axe. Flicking the autopilot off, Loki took a few steps back before running through the shattered windshield. Using the momentum, he grabbed onto the top of the windshield and flipped himself onto the roof of the spaceship. His ankle twisted again from the force, Loki letting out a muffled groan. 

The spaceship was rapidly falling down. He ran across the roof of the ship, ignoring the pain in his foot. The Quinjet was just within reach; if he grabbed onto the wing, he could make the jump and haul himself up.

Loki leapt, hands outstretched.

That's where it went wrong.

Turns out he miscalculated, the wing of the Quinjet barely grazing his fingers, Loki's eyes widening before he fell through the air. 

Falling.

Falling.

When would he stop falling? 

A hand grabbed his wrist, and Loki, out of instinct, grabbed onto the wrist of the stranger. 

He was pulled up, onto the roof of the Quinjet. The stranger let go of his wrist, and Loki let out a breath of relief, looking up to see Stark land beside him. 

"Thanks." Loki breathed.

Stark waved him off, giving him an ironclad thumbs up, before moving to enter the hatch of the Quinjet. 

"Think of it as repayment for getting those soldiers off of me." Loki nodded, following Stark to the hatch. Loki looked down from the Quinjet. The ship must have landed somewhere in the forest beneath them.

There was no way they survived that. 

Loki let out a breath of relief and climbed down the ladder after Stark. 

Wakanda looked like a futuristic version of Asgard, or maybe that was just Loki reminiscing.

When they landed, Loki stood at the back, with the Avengers walking past him to get out of the cramped Quinjet. 

Loki, however, stood there and admired the city ahead of him, it was not too different from Asgard.

Memories of two kids playing around the castle, giggling quietly as they ran from their tutors, trying to stay quiet when their tutor walked past their hiding spot. 

Memories of a brother who had hurt him more than he could imagine and yet, Loki still loved him dearly. 

Memories of a mother who kept a secret that broke him, and how she held him as a child in her arms in her royal gardens once he got tired of playing around with the animals. 

Memories of a man he used to call father, who lied to him and told him he would be used as nothing more than a mere tool in war. Yet, Loki strives to be a better fighter just to prove to his father that he could be something more. Someone that the king would be happy to call his son.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Loki snapped his gaze away from the city and down to a man dressed in what he could assume was cultural clothing. The blacktop was embroidered in a design that matched the pants he wore. The power emitted from the man, someone of importance then. 

Stepping down from the Quinjet, he walked towards the man. 

"King T'challa." He introduced himself: " I have yet the pleasure to meet you." A monarchy then, there weren't many of those left on Midgard. 

Loki put a fist to his heart before giving a slight bow when he moved back up. The king had his eyebrow raised, and a few of the Avengers looked surprised by the action. 

"Loki, a pleasure to meet you, your highness." He wasn't all ill mannered. What he didn't understand was why the Avengers hadn't bowed. The man was a king; it was a show of respect to bow before him.

"The pleasure is mine." The king answered, he turned to address all the Avengers, walking ahead to lead them to his kingdom. "Now, please, follow me. The rest of the Avengers await." The group followed T'challa, barely suppressing the awe on their faces as they gawked at the city ahead of them. 

"The others are already there?" Stark asked, confused. Had the fighting really taken them that long?

"Yes, they were accompanied by two others." The King informed. Nat let out a breath of relief. At least Thanos didn't get Wanda and Vision. 

Loki walked behind them all, his pace slow but steady, and Bruce kept giving him concerned looks from over his shoulder. He was fine, truly. As if realizing that Loki saw him, Bruce slowed down, matching his pace with him. The others spoke to the king animatedly. 

"Do you want me to check your ankle when we get to the Palace? I saw you fighting, that can't be good for your ankle. " Bruce asked quietly, which Loki appreciated. 

He knew if he turned Bruce down, he wouldn't stop pestering him about it. "Fine, but after we have discussed everything. Bruce smiled at him, even if the smile was broken. 

Loki walked into the conference room where all the Avengers were gathered, and a sudden surge of power alerted him. He scanned the room, his eyes landing on a red-haired woman. She was wearing a red coat with similar gear. 

Another presence of power made itself known as a humanoid, red skinned man floated around the corner, sitting next to the woman, a familiar stone etched into his forehead.

He stopped in his tracks, getting a weird look from Stark and the Widow. A thousand memories flurried past his eyes, pain, screaming, yelling, and at last a blue haze. It felt like hours since he stood there, staring at the Mind stone. In reality, it was only a second or two before he went to sit down on the back of the table next to Stark and Rhoedes. 

Another woman came to join the king, her hair in braids formed into two buns. She wore an orange outfit and seemed quite young, maybe near the age of the spiderling.

"I believe we should take the Mind stone out of Vision." The red-haired woman spoke abruptly, her tone worried. "It's the only way we can secure both the stone and Vision staying alive." So this woman clearly had a soft spot for Vision, the being with the Mind stone. 

"Do you think that's possible, Shuri?"

Shuri, the girl with the orange dress, considered the king's question. "I believe so brother, but we would have to be careful. If we can get him into my lab, maybe I can figure something out." Wanda, Loki assumed, stood up, her face scrunching up. 

"He is not an experiment." 

Shuri grinned, "Anything that steps in my lab is an experiment," Wanda's gaze hardened, Shuri staying calm as ever. "I can't assure you of his health, but anything I have thought of I have achieved successfully, if you are not willing to take that risk, you are welcome to do it yourself." King T'Challa gave Shuri a glare but didn't disagree. 

Wanda seemed annoyed but nodded. Watching as Shuri clapped her hands and waved Vision over, Wanda trailing behind them. The King, Clint, Natasha, and the Captain and Bucky followed soon after. Sam looked around before giving a nod and running after them. 

Stark watched them leave. 

"Well, that was productive," he looked around, "what now?" 

Bruce laughed; that sounded more like a sigh. 

"Now we wait." 

Loki's head was hurting, he couldn't feel his ankle, and just a few minutes ago Bruce had gotten him to sit down on a couch and wrap his ankle again. He had told him to stop using his foot too much and rest as much as he could. 

Loki had agreed even though he had no intent of keeping his promise. He was the god of lies, that's what he did. However, the god had convinced Bruce to go get some of his own food and eat. Bruce promised he would come back soon and bring something for him.

His brain was telling him to get up and move, but his body willed him to stay on that couch and sink into its cushions. Loki praised himself for his persistence in staying alert and on guard, but the cushions seemed too comfy, and his eyelids seemed too heavy. 

Not to mention that the ache in his heart grew too strong, no longer was it an ache but a continuous thrumming of pain wracking his entire being. 

Thor. Heimdall. Brunhilde. Korg. Meik. The remaining Asgardians.

All of them, gone. 

And he was left to suffer. 

Oh, how cruel the Norns were. 

He once let go to embrace death, and look how the tides have turned. He was left alive while the people he wanted to live with were dead.

Suddenly, it became harder to breathe, and the room grew too hot. Which was funny because shivers wracked his body. He pulled his legs up to his chest, his feet and legs screaming in protest.

He felt like a child, a weak child who needed his mother to comfort him after a nightmare. He was too scared to light the candles in case the monster under the bed caught him. Either way, it was him. He was the monster, but it didn't make him any less scared.

His breathing picked up speed, and he was all but gasping to breathe, He clawed at his legs as hiccups escaped his throat. Tears pricked his eyes, but he didn't dare let them fall. 

But he was tired. So damn tired, it seemed as if the Realms had it out for him since the day he let go, not letting him get a single break. It hurt. It hurt so much more than any physical torture he could think of. 

Tears were flowing down his cheeks, it was truly pathetic.

He didn't deserve to cry. Thor died saving him. Heimdall died saving HIM. Loki was worth nothing and yet they saved him?! Why?!

He wanted to go home. 

But with a sob, he realized he never had one.

...

A few minutes passed, his breathing coming under control as he forced the dam of tears to stop flowing. 

Loki looked around, he was in the room alone. Nobody was there to watch his pathetic display of weakness. 

He let his legs hit the ground, getting up and going to the table. 

If there was even a chance the Asgardians were alive, he had to take it. 

He summoned his magic, looking for any oddities he could find on the ship.