Chapter 12
Mobius unlocked the door to his flat, opening the door for Loki with a mock bow. They smiled tiredly at him, but the undeniable look of fondness in their eyes made Mobius' heart flutter.
The room they walked into was open plan, magnolia walls with three different paintings of the seaside hanging above oak book shelves. There was a small, uncomfortable sofa, the use of which was clear from the stacks of magazines and files (plus a caricature of Mobius that Loki drew one day, which they were pleased to see was neatly at the top of the pile.) that littered it. Loki had been here before, but only had enough time to dress before being dragged out for more work. This time though, they could have a proper look around.
Mobius was hurriedly trying to make space for them both on the sofa, mumbling embarrassed apologies at the state of his place. He wouldn't usually be that bothered, except it was Loki. It was always Loki. Loki, who currently looked like they were about to collapse with fatigue.
"Thanks." Was all they managed, slumping down on the couch once Mobius had cleared it.
The agent hovered about Loki for a second, checking again for any form of discomfort. They made eye contact, Loki giving him a lazy smile and closing their eyes. He put the kettle on for hot chocolate.
He was deep in thought as the kettle boiled. He knew Loki was fond of him, at the very least, and at the time seemed to want him on a… physical level, but he knew what he felt for the god was much stronger than general lust. He knew Loki, he knew that they rarely showed vulnerability, rarely showed love. Only to a few people, like his mother, and, recently, him. But he also knew Loki had changed. They'd grown so much since they came here, still mischievous and cunning and brilliant, but with a gentler tone.
He watched them now, curled up on the sofa, long, curly hair spreading like a dark halo around their head. They looked tired and worn; scrapes and bruises marked their porcelain skin and their shirt was torn. But despite this, they had allowed Mobius to lead them inside and rest in his company. The greatest display of trust.
Now Mobius had to trust himself.
He poured them both hot chocolate, stirring in extra milk and marshmallows for Loki (he knew they had a sweet tooth.) and brought both mugs to the sofa. He nudged Loki’s legs to get them to budge up and sat down; they shifted into a sitting position, giving him a grateful smile as he handed them the mug. Mobius felt his heart flutter with the attention. Yup, definitely more than general lust.
“Go on, try it.”
Loki slowly raised the mug, giving it a sniff first.
“Smells like malt-teasers!” they exclaimed.
Mobius chuckled, failing to hide the adoration. “It’s similar, sure.”
They took a loud slurp, closing their eyes as they tasted it.
“Mmmm,” they moaned, causing Mobius to cough quietly. (He swore he noticed Loki smirking at him.)
They put down the mug, marshmallow remnants on their top lip. Mobis laughed. Loki scowled.
“What?” they huffed, folding their arms.
“Nothing, nothing,” -he held up his hands- “You’ve just got a mallow-tache.”
Loki looked at him, bewildered.
“A what?”
Mobius slowly reached out his hand, hesitating, waiting for any sign of rejection. When none came he softly wiped away the marshmallow, thumb lingering on their top lip. He looked into their eyes, noticing how their pupils were wide and breathing had stopped. He was about to pull away when Loki put his thumb in their mouth, licking the sweetness off. It was Mobius’ turn to stop breathing. Their eyes were locked, air electric. They released his thumb with a kiss pressed to the pad, and they both sat facing each other only millimetres apart. Loki was the first to break the silence.
“What were you going to say,” they murmured, “before Renslayer came in?”
Mobius swallowed, noticing how Loki’s gaze travelled down his neck before meeting his eyes. There was a vulnerability there, but also hope. That was the confirmation Mobius needed to be brave.
“What, you mean when we were together, in your cell?” he breathed.
Loki nodded. Mobius leaned closer, lips brushing the soft skin of their neck.
“You mean when I grabbed your wrists?”
They shivered and leaned into his touch.
“When you let me pin you against the wall like a good little prince?”
Loki turned their head so they were looking into each other's eyes.
"What I was going to say," Mobius' mouth turned dry, suddenly nervous, "was that I love you," he whispered.
There was silence. Mobius studied Loki's face anxiously, taking note of all the emotions they expressed. Joy, grief, confusion.
"Say something," he pleaded.
"I…." Loki's eyes welled up. "I do believe I love you too." They whispered it like a prayer, as if scared of admitting it.
Mobius' face split into a big grin, giddy with happiness, until he realised Loki wasn't as happy. They were crying.
"What is it?"
Loki just curled up on his lap, burying their face in the crook of his arm. He ran a comforting hand through their hair, making soothing sounds as sobs wracked their body.
"What is it, baby? You can tell me."
They sniffed and raised their head just enough for Mobius to hear a small:
"I'm not good enough for you."
Mobius froze, confused. They weren't good enough for him? They were a god, surely it was the other way around?
"No, Loki, why would you say that?"
There was silence for a minute.
"You've seen my life, Mobius," they began, "You know better than anyone what I've done, who I've hurt." They gave a cold chuckle. "You showed me yourself what was going to happen. I don't deserve love."
Mobius automatically pulled the god closer, feeling guilty. He shouldn't have shown Loki the footage.
"That's not true, Lokes," he said, running his fingers through their silky hair.
"We've all done shoddy stuff in our life, heck knows I've done things I'm not proud of. Your past actions don't define you, It's how you perceive your actions later on that shows who you are. And even then, nothing takes away how worthy you are of love. It's not a right you have to fight for. You have to earn someone's love, sure, but those standards are different for everyone. It's up to the person to decide whether they give you their love. They can't decide for anyone else. And nor can you. I love you, Loki, and I will try and do everything to show you how great of a person I think you are. And I'm sorry for showing you the video. It wasn't right of me."
Loki turned on their back so they were looking up to Mobius. Their eyes were still red, but they were smiling.
"You are truly an inspirational man, Mobius," they said, smirking.
"Ha!" Mobius let out a laugh.
"Is that all I get?"
Loki looked thoughtful.
"I suppose that, when it comes down to it, I also love you."
He knew this, but Mobius couldn't help his heart rate speed up at those words. This beautiful person loved him.
"Would you complain if I kissed you?" he asked, trying to hide how elated he felt.
"On the contrary." Loki sat up face to face with the man. "I would be delighted."