When the large gold doors of her bed chambers began to open relieving her to him it felt as if suddenly all the air had been sucked from his lungs. Leaving his chest tight and his throat completely empty. She would have brought him to his knees if he were a lesser man.
The emerald green dress hugged the curves of her body so perfectly he found himself growing jealous of the way the saten held her, holding tight until her mid thigh where it collected volume until it came to brush the ground around her. He prayed he could capture this image of her committing it all to memory. The way the neck line dipped just the slightest, how the deep green satin looked against her skin, how she was so clearly and freely wearing his colors. Sections of her jet black hair were pulled into a crown braid with pearls of all sizes tucked into the braid casting the illusion of a circlet crown while allowing her to go without one for the night. The rest of her hair laid in thick curls down her back.
He could not let himself overlook the fact that she was wearing his colors, nor could he deny the most primal part of his mind chanting his claim to her. Mine, mine, mine-.
The flush of her cheeks, the way she tipped up her chin to look at him from under her lashes. For a moment he fears she's caught on to his thoats. Being caught by her eyes always made him feel too seen, as if when she looked at him she saw everything, even the things Loki tried so hard to hide. A flush began to warm his cheeks, this impossibly warm feeling blossoming in his chest. Her mouth opened slightly, as if she meant to say something but no words ever came. Instead for the shortest moment they remained standing in their silence together. For a moment Loki found himself wishing that the night could end here, just the two of them in this quiet moment and nothing more.
Just Belle, in this beautiful dress, in this empty hallway, looking at him as if he matters.
If only he could just stay here.
Loki reached for her, his hand resting gently on her cheek cradling the back of her head, fingers barred in her hair. “It’s like I can hear how hard you’re thinking.”
“What does one say to the guest of honor?” Her tone was light and her demeanor positive but her face laid mostly empty in front of him.“Hope father selects a kind stranger for you to marry.” Her voice is mocking, reinforced with the roll of her eyes. “This whole thing is foolish.” Belle gave out a large sigh completely out of her wits end about this whole night. If she could, she would simply hide Loki in her room for the night. Father couldn’t marry him off he wasn’t there.
Like he could read her racing thoughts, Loki smiled, “Here I was hoping you might run away with me so we could both avoid this silly mess mother and father have made. Yet you look so fetching it would truly be a crime if I was the only one who bore witness to it.”
“Always so good with your words.” She smiled just the slightest up turn of her lip, just the faintest deepening of the pinkness flooding her cheeks. As if she were suddenly shy, her eyes leave him finding new interest in his shoes. Her eyes following the ornate detail of gold threat weaved into the stiff leather. Even in her heels she still stood a head below him preventing him from catching her eye again until she chose to meet his gaze.
“It’s only because I’m right, love.” He laughed pulling her suddenly closer, her heeled feet landing on top of his own shoes. Rather than flinching at the pain in his feet Loki wrapped his arms around her waist taking one large step away from the door and began to twirl them in tight circles together. The bottom of her dress fanning out with the air of their quick movements. Like the warmth of his embrace is enough to melt away all her worries, Belle began to laugh. For a second it's slightly stiff like she knows what he's trying to do but when he pulls her in even tighter spinning even quicker, she wraps her arms around his neck to hold on and finally she's really laughing. So sweet and breathless he can’t help the big grin that comes to his face. Much like a wind chimes in mothers garden he thought, the only other sound he’d ever heard as clear and beautiful as her laugh. Her voice was soft and quiet but her laugh rang like wind chimes.
“Prince Loki!” A guard's voice breaks through the pair's moment of joy, Loki stopped his spinning in an instant, allowing Belle back on her own two feet. The pair locked their eyes on the tall man dressed in all gold armor at the beginning of the hallway; the same blank look over both of their faces. They stood completely motionless, silently, as if hoping if they did not move or speak he would simply leave. It unsettles the guard just the slightest. Perhaps that is while all the other guards had been so quick to volunteer him instead of themselves“Your father is calling for you, can’t have you running late for your own celebration my Prince.” A celebration. Belle scoffed.
Loki only sighed making the big show of rolling his eyes for Belle before waving the man off with no further desire to look at his new least favorite guard. Rather he chose to watch the way Belle's eyes fell to the floor and the way the shadows move across her cheek. The guard proceeded to stomp back to his station weighed down by the silly armor; each step produced a loud metallic bang that echoed off the walls. Loki's previous happiness had been forgotten as he stood before her looking forlorn and a bit like he was in pain. Gently she placed her hand in his, smiling when his eyes came back to her and his lips pulled up just the slightest.
“Now won’t you escort a lonely young lady to the ball?” Her voice a higher pitch as if she were attempting to mock the way the other girls in the court addressed their company. He laughed at her silly question looping her arm in his as he began them down the hall and towards his father and the rest of the night that would follow. A night that seemed just the slightest bit easier to get through now.
The walk was quiet as it usually was, her side pressed into his, radiating a warmth that was foreign to his usually cold state of being but not unwelcome. He thought to ask her about her trip, how it was possible she had the energy to attend this sort of event at all, if she had enjoyed the countryside and if the neighboring powers treated her well, but he couldn’t bring himself to say much of anything. Too focused on the smell of peaches. She always smelled of fruits.
“This is- our last night like this. Isn’t it?.” Belle suddenly asks her steps quickly coming to a stop. Loki nearly tumbles over himself, with Belle's feet firmly stuck to the ground she pulls him to a stop with her. The color in her face drains before his eyes. The tan of her skin and the pink of her cheeks are suddenly so ghostly white Lokis concerned she might just drop to the ground. He wrapped an arm around her waist attempting to pull her into him but her feet remained stuck to their spot. He placed a hand on her cheek pulling her eyes back to him but he can already see it; she is somewhere far away from him and this moment. He can see her thinking in her eyes and it feels like a stab to the gut. He knows those thoughts, they were all he had been able to think about for nights now alone in bed wishing so badly for sleep.
“After tonight I’ll be walking alone.” Her voice is so small, so far away, and it makes Loki's heart ache.
“Oh love, don’t think like that.” He sighed. She was right but he didn’t much need the reminder. This all hurt enough. “The night has only begun.”
“But it’s true isn’t it?” Her tone is sharp but he knows she’s not really upset with him. “Once you’re wed you’ll be meant to escort your bride.” She can’t hide the hate in her voice. “I won’t - I won’t have anyone to walk me any longer.” Her voice is no more than a whisper between them now.
It didn’t matter that she didn’t really need Loki to walk with her, that she’d done this sort of thing on her own countless times but even so the idea that this would end shook her. That he would have someone else he was meant to give his attention to. Loki had been guiding her from her bedroom to the ballroom since they were only kids and they looked much more like children playing dress up rather than royalty. This was as natural to her as breathing but this time she felt like she was choking, her best friend the man she leaned on most would be someone else's. She would lose him. She had no choice.
She felt cold.
How had she not thought to consider this all before now? How had she been so dense?
“Belle please don’t cry.” He reached for her cupping her face in his hands. The cool of his touch calming her nerves just the slightest, his thumbs brushing across her cheek bones. Her face was hot and her eyes foggy and wet.“I promise I will always make time for you, we will always have our nights. You will always be a priority for me.” She knows he means it when he says it but she also knows that it's a lie. If even Loki doesn’t know it.
He lets out a huffed sigh bringing a hand to rub at his eyes. “As for your escort, it would likely be Thor who takes that responsibility.” His words dripped in bitterness, not fond of the idea of being replaced either. “It’s likely father will gift you to him as a bride in a short time.”
One of her hands came up to wrap around his wrists. Her thumb pressed into the flat expanse of skin as if looking for the beat of his heart. She places the softest of on the spot she finds. Loki can feel his chest aching.
There's a bashfulness in her face and Loki doesn’t care how it upsets his stomach. As long as she was here with him and the tears in her eyes didn’t spill. “I trust your secrecy when I say '' Her voice is almost a whisper. “I hope Odin gifts me to a stranger before Thor.” Loki’s eyebrows shoot up, his jaw drops, and for a moment his mind is completely plank.
She doesn’t want Thor.
She brings her hands up to gently play with the ends of her hair twisting the curls around her fingers. Her eyes are more focused on the floor than they are on Loki so with his silence she continues to say“I know he’s a good man. He’ll be a great King. But Thor, our Thor, He’s not-” He’s not who she wants. “It’s just so hard to see him as my husband, as the father of my children. .”
Loki can’t help the laugh that comes from him like a weight he didn’t know was there lifted from his chest his lungs fill so easily with the air. Years. Years he’d spent avoiding the subject of Belle and Thor. Preferring to just ignore it, to enjoy the time he had with her while he had her. To try and solidify every perfect moment into memory. So he’d at least have something to hold on to when the time came. Of course she wouldn’t want Thor. How could he have ever thought his Belle was like everyone else.
“What? Why are you laughing at me?!”
“Never,” He continues to chuckles to himself, his face a shade of red she has never seen before. “In all my years, never did I think I’d hear a woman say she does not desire my brother.”
“Well not every woman wishes to take a brute of a man as a husband.”
“I suppose you are a perfect example of that.”
“Indeed I am.” She nods tempted to give Loki a little shove for his laughter. But the moment has to end. He was right, the night had only just begun. “Now come, escort me to your celebration before we’re late. I can not allow myself to be blamed for keeping the bachelor of the night distracted.” She pulls away from him quickly trying not to seem like it is a challenge for her. She was a princess and she would act as one, her own desires left aside. She could do this.
Of course she is the only woman who doesn’t desire his brother, he thought. This was the type of irony that could not be imagined even in his most favorite of foolish plays. Perhaps he would take up writing again if just to share this cruel castings of fate. Because, suddenly that weight on his chest is back and he’s sure it’s even heavier, it doesn’t matter that she doesn’t want Thor.
It didn’t matter what any of them wanted.
“Brother, Belle!” Thor boomed as the two finally made their way into the ballroom, their attention trained solely on each other as they spoke moving across the large dance floor and climbed the stairs to stand before Odin and Frigga. Not bothering to entertain Thor until they were closer so the man wouldn’t have to shout any more. His voice always seemed to bounce off every surface when he yelled causing headaches unmatchable by any other. “We were afraid we’d have to send a search party to locate you two in our own home!”
“Nonsense Thor, I’m afraid that we simply lost track of time.” Belle defends her voice so light and soft when following the deep timber of Thors. “Our dear Loki seems willing to entertain my every word.” There's a slightly laughter to her words that brings the faintest smile to Loki's face. When she finally reached the top of the steps Belle stopped standing at Odin and Friggas feet
“Nonsense.” Odin said, “You’re a smart girl Belle, Loki entertains you because he knows how to appreciate a gifted mind.” It wasn’t directly a compliment on his character but Loki would take it nonetheless. She did have a gifted mind and he did appreciate it after all.
“You Odinson men and your talent for flattery.” Belle shook her head moving from her low bow to stand beside Loki. But before she could make any real distance toward the black haired man Odin reaches for her hand pulling her to his lap wrapping his large arms around her frame as if she weighed nothing. Though to him she probably weighed something very close to nothing.
“You leave for a month and think not to give your father a hug when you return?” He laughed waiting for the girl to return the hug. Once she could wiggle her arms out from his tight hold she wrapped them snuggly around his neck breathing in the smell of cinnamon and firewood that was the usual smell of the Asgardian King. A comforting familiar smell of home and safety.
“You make it sound as if I’m an unloving child!” She laughed “I’m the ward of the Allfather and Allmother I’m supposed to bow!” She declared smacking him lightly on the arm as she moved from his lap to wrap her arms around Frigga and to kiss her cheek lightly.
“You have been with us for more than three fourths of your life, Belle, you are as much a child to us as Thor and Loki, when will you understand that?” Frigga asked, holding the young girl's hands within her own, looking up at her from her seat on the throne.
“I’ll do my very best to remember.” Belle bowed her head.
“See that you do.”
Thor took his spot beside Odin while Loki stood beside Frigga, Belle looked from empty spot to empty spot before she settled on standing beside Loki. Truthfully she usually did, but every now and again she would switch, trying not to show any favoritism toward either of the brothers. She often feared what would happen to the boy's relationship if rumors got to them that she preferred one of them more than the other. She had already seen them duel over more than one thing when it came to her, she wasn’t too sure what something like that might cause to happen and she didn’t desire to see it. They were still young fools after all, still prone to be led by their feelings.
“Open the doors!” Odin demanded.
-XXX-
Despite Loki’s kind words of flattery she couldn’t help feeling like she had under dressed for the night. Most of these women wore their wealth around their necks and hanging from their ears, large gold and silver sets encrusted with stones of all sorts. Most of them were dressed in traditional shades of pink or red but every dress itself was unique as nothing else would really do. Some had full skirts while others were skin tight. She knew of course she need not dress up for the event, it was not as if she needed to display her wealth for the King, or the rest of the court. But she thinks perhaps she should have anyway. Feeling incredibly plain in front of them all.
Odin made his speech standing at the top of the gold stairs looking every bit the grand respected leader he was. He thanked all the guests who traveled well out of their way all to be considered for his youngest son's hand. He’d even spoken about the joy that was supposed to come with a celebration like this. (Belle wasn’t sure about whose joy Odin spoke of.) Noting that even if you did not win the prince's hand that it did not mean that the King thought ill of you, as if he were preparing for all the hurt feelings that might arise at the end of the night. Perhaps he was, Frigga had been sure to tell her the story of their own matching ceremony after Odin had announced the idea to the family. It had apparently gone poorly.
So of course they should try it again.
On que the side doors swung open and finally decorated servants came sworming into the room. All of them dressed in white robes and holding gold trays that were covered in drinks and food. Everyone cheered at the display of grandeur. Belle had to smile at the theatrics, truly Odin had tried his best to plan something worthy of a Prince of Asgard. Their parents may be missguided but they were clearly trying. She felt selfish looking at it all, how she so badly did not wish to see Loki married, how she wanted everything to stay the same. When it was clearly so important to both Odin and Frigga that things progress. That they find a new member of their family tonight. They had put in so much effort to plan the night and she had almost been rude enough to not come at all; simply because she hadn’t wanted to help Loki. How dare she, she thought, When they have given you everything, how could you think to disrespect them like that?
She sighed, pressing on to her stomach trying to settle the buzzing in her gut, a manifestation of her stress she thought. She allowed herself one deep breath before she laid a smile on her face, sure she couldn’t smile with her eyes but this was ok. They won’t notice she thought when was the last time someone noticed? Their guests began to grab glasses of wine from different trays while the music picked up filling every corner of the usually silent ballroom. They would never notice.
But he would.
Despite it she still looked to him.
She always looked to him.
Loki clearly did not care about how hard his parents had worked to plan such an event. His shoulders were stiff, his face set in a scowl, Belle thought for a moment that he might just stomp his foot while he was at it. He was determined not to enjoy this, Odin and even Frigga be damned.
“You look as if Thor has pissed in your cup.” She laughed leaning towards him so it only came out as a whisper.
“I feel like it would only improve my night if he did.”
“Always the most dramatic member of the court.”
“A title I hold dear to my heart.” She couldn’t help but giggle out loud at how playful he could still manage to be when he was so clearly miserable. But her laughter died down when they both noticed a small blonde girl climbing up the stairs towards them. Right. They were here for a reason.
The girl's dress was bright pink like some of the flowers in the garden. The skirt was so large that it almost seemed to be swallowing her small frame. The top of the dress was strapless and plunged just below her sternum showing off a bit of the curve of each of her breasts. Her almost white blonde hair was pulled into something intricate at the top of her head and Belle couldn’t help but smile sympathetically at her, while the look was in style, she knew from experience that it definitely hurt the scalp. Large gold earrings and an equally large necklace both with pink sapphires plated into them hung from her body. Belle thought the girl looked a bit gotty, but then again she also thought she wasn’t the worst dressed girl in the room so really she couldn't judge her. And traditionally standing she looked the part of a prospective bride.
“Excuse me.” Her voice was soft and quiet, perhaps shy. “I was wondering if I could have this dance?”
Loki was going to say no, Belle just knew it .The frustrating man barely ever danced, it was a rare night that Belle could get him to join her on the dance floor herself, and it always did require at least a little bit of wine. Loki's lack of interest in dancing and truly most social situations had made this whole thing seem like it was all one big joke. Belle had laughed when he’d first come to her to share the knews. He’d stormed into her bedroom while she read in front of the fire, his yelling had been so loud that night, it echoed through the rafters of her bedroom, and a guard had come to make sure she was alright. Worried that someone had broken in and was hurting her, or perhaps Loki himself had laid a hand on her. But despite protest Odin had thought he had come up with a truly brilliant way for his young son to meet a good woman.
Loki moved to open his mouth, his best excuse at the tip of his tongue.
“He’d love to.” Belle interrupted, clearly startling the girl as she jumped and her head snapped towards her. One of her small well manicured hands came to grasp her necklace in shock.“Excuse my brother,” She began a smile on her face as she ignored Loki’s glare digging into the side of her face. Using her best princess voice, one she had been practicing for years now, Belle placed a hand gently on Loki’s bicep, the thick leather of his formal wear cold under her touch. “He is painfully shy and not at all used to a beautiful woman asking him for a dance.”
The girl giggled at Belle’s words enamored with the princess and her kindness. Most people were Loki thought, she had that sort of effect on people. They never could tell when she was lying to them. It was one of the things he found so interesting about her, how she could be so lovely in the way she lied to people.
“My dear sister is right.” Loki said the word ‘sister’ coming out almost hissed at her.“I’d love to dance.”
Loki gave the girl his hand guiding her down the stairs and onto the dance floor. His steps were large, dramatic, just as Loki always was. Paying no mind to the girl she nearly stripped over her own feet trying to keep up with him. But he pulled her in gently, his hand came to the near middle of the girl's back, with what was almost a smile on his lips. Something about it just deepens the pit in her stomach. His movements were stiff in clear discomfort, but he was trying. Belle hadn’t thought about what that might feel like.
What if Loki tried, what if just a small part of him wanted all of this too?
“You are a truly evil girl.” Odin laughed leaning over the throne his wife would have occupied had she not seen a woman she had known when she was a young girl and had been determined to catch her and talk. It was always lovely to see, the Queen still young at heart and humble as always. Perhaps the woman's daughter was one of the girls all dressed up and hoping for a moment of the prince's time. Was she at an advantage since her mother knew the queen? No, Belle thought that wasn’t likely. Both the King and Queen had been loud about their preferred suitors meant to attend for the night, and never had Belle heard of the daughter of one of Frigga's old friends. She was sure she would have remembered it. Frigga had not been quite in her excitement for this night, even going as far as sending long winded letters to Belle while she had been gone. Large chunks of the pages including Frigga's plans for the night and the guests they had been debating about inviting or not.
“Forcing him out of his shell will not kill him. It can only make him better.” Belle explained nodding her head in reassurance to herself. She would never make Loki do something out of cruelty. She cared for him, she always would. She just wanted what was best for him.
What if one of these girls were best for him?
The pit only kept getting deeper.
“I suppose you are the right child.” Odin's lips lifted just the slightest in a small smile towards her. The pair watched Loki be passed around the dance floor by different women. Some girls didn’t not even wait for a full song to be done before they cut in demanding a chance to dance. Belle wasn’t even sure if they were asking him or simply tearing him out of the grip of the last girl. Some were in pink, some in red, and a rare few in purple but all of them beaming at the chance to have the Prince to themselves for a moment. Belle had to wonder if their joy came from his title or his looks, it was always one or the other with the woman of the Asgardian court. She had to imagine the same would be true for all women in the nine realms.
She’d never come to hate so many women all once.
After nearly two hours and three of four glasses of wine that had been fetched for her by a guard. Belle felt the alcohol begin to warm her body and soften her posture. Pieces of her well put together bread slipping from their hold and cascading around her face, framing the soft curve of her jaw.
Just one more hour She kept trying to remind herself. Just one more hour and she could go curl up in her bed and cry all of this out. Maybe she wouldn’t even make an appearance tomorrow, she could ask one of her maids to fetch her meals from the kitchen. Just one more hour, and she could be rid of this dress. She wouldn’t be wearing it ever again. She was sure of it. She would rid herself of anything that reminded her of tonight; of this burning acidic feeling she couldn’t name. What was the point of being well read if she couldn’t think of the word for whatever this was?
Just one more hour.
“Come sit, child.” Odin suddenly ordered gesturing towards his wifes still empty chair. Confused at the request Belle simply obeyed. Never in the years she had been a part of this family had she been allowed to sit in a seat that did not belong to her. Even when Odin had finally given her the chance to sit in on some of the Council meetings she had been made to wait until her own chair could be made for her. Rather than sitting in any empty chair that had been placed around the room as no princess of Asgard would simply pull up a chair “I wish to ask your thoughts.”
“Of course.” Like she could feel the alcohol in her veins Belle was suddenly very happy to be sat in a chair.
“Promise you will give me your truth girl?”
“As always, father.” This she thought was a lie. She was not always honest with Odin, but she tried her best to be. As long as the occasion allowed for it. Perhaps if she had not been drinking she would have recognised that this was not one of those occasions.
“What do you know of that woman?” She followed Odin's large pointed finger towards the crowd and sure enough there was another woman in Loki’s arms. But this one she knew. The girl was the daughter of one of Odin's best men, someone who had sat on Odin's council for nearly a thousand years now. Her father was sweet, almost painfully so, every time they ran into each other the girl's father had been so kind as to escort her to wherever it was she was going, even if it was far out of his way. He made polite small talk, she knew he had a horse he cared for deeply and she always made sure to ask him how it’s training was coming along whenever they spoke. He even made a show of bowing to her when they reached her destination, even though tradition said she should be the one bowing due to his age and title in the court. He was a kind hearted man, wider than he was tall, in every way; but he was soft hearted and good to his very core. The girl's mother however was dramatically different, rude and cold to nearly everyone around her. Belle's favorite maid had been assigned to the woman's chambers for the few nights she stayed in the castle with her husband, the stories she told after nearly made a chill run down Belle's spine. And unfortunately the girl in Loki’s arms took after her mother.
The girl's name was Augusta and she was truly a beauty to behold. Her hair was pin straight and chocolate brown. Her features were sharp and defined. She looked the part of a princess. Tonight She’d worn a deep purple gown that was just as wide as all the others but beads had been sown in that shimmered in the light. White gloves that went to her wrists were on each hand and beautiful silver filigree jewelry hanged from her neck. She was beautiful and she would look even more beautiful in a crown.
Belle was going to be sick.
“She may actually be one of the worst women I have had the displeasure of meeting.” She said plainly. Belle's eyes went wide and her lips snapped close. Wine did have a habit of loosening her tongue. Maybe that is why Odin had waited so long before asking her thoughts. “I have actually witnessed her trip. One of our servants, the poor girl, couldn’t have been far out of her adolescence and was holding a whole tray of drinks and everything. The beast even dared to laugh at her!”
“The beast?” Odin mused, seeming unbothered by Belle's choice words against the daughter of one of his men. Belle couldn’t help but wonder if Odin knew of the girl's unsightly behavior as well.
“She may be beautiful but it’s only skin deep.”
Odin's lips raised just the slightest into not exactly a smile. “Then what of her?”
She follows his eye to the small blond girl from earlier. She’s standing at the edge of the room with an almost finished glass of wine talking to a few of the other girls. She really seems to be listening more than actually adding to the conversation though, rather she bust looking around the room. Every now and again her eyes landed on Loki and she smiled a bit. She seems fond of him, a bit like a young girl with a crush.
“She’s fine.” Belle's stomach rolled, she felt like she might be shaking. Was she shaking? Could Odin see it?
“What’s wrong child? What aren’t you saying?”
“It’s just- father I don’t know about all of this.” She admits turning in her seat to face him. Feeling one of the fly away pieces of her hair catching in the deep purple lipstick expertly painted onto her lips. Reaching up to tuck the hair away and behind one of her ears. “These women, this - Nord whatever this is, it’s wrong. This is no way to find an appropriate bride, especially not for your son!”
A deep breath. Something lifted, just the slightest, from her chest and she finally felt like she could take a deep breath.
“It’s tradition.”
“Of course, tradition.” She sighs feeling like she was talking to a wall. How could she think her opinion really mattered? Belle turned her attention back to the ballroom, watching as people move past each other giggling and telling stories. Some of the men of the court took the opportunity to insert themselves into the ceremony, chatting up different women around the room. They seem truly happy, most of them at least. All except for Loki as he looks up from the girl in his arms to meet her eyes. His eyes lacked a spark she knew all too well, one that so purely Loki it seemed wrong not to see it there. He was miserable, she thought, the man who mattered most in all of this was miserable. She sighed again, shaking her head just the slightest.
“I don’t see the problem here child.”
“The problem?” Her tone is too harsh but it feels too good not to say. “The problem is that we don’t know them! Any of them! And they don’t know him! Yes that girl is beautiful, but who is she? How will she handle the man that Loki is? How will she stand against the jealousy he holds in his heart or the anger that can own him so completely? You would settle him with someone who wouldn’t know how to hold on to him or how to stand against him. When you go to look for him don’t be surprise when he’s too far gone to find.”
“Daughter, you're upset.” Odin determines at her outburst, taken aback at the harshness of her tone. Even when she thought he was in the wrong never did she raise her voice with him. Yet here she was, telling him exactly what she thought sitting in the Queens chair like she belonged there all along. She belonged there, he was so sure of it.
“For good reason! Loki deserves a bride who cares for him, who shares his passions and wishes, who wants nothing but the best for him. Not some young social climber wanting to play princess!”
“Child,” His voice is soft as he shifts to look at her better. For just a moment she's his little girl again, eyes wide and full of love, tripping over her own feet, and so kind. Then with the blink of his eyes he's left looking at a young woman and he’s so proud. “All I ask is that you trust your mother and I to make the right choice. For all of you.”
She says nothing in return. Rather she stands from the throne she sat in to press her hands along her stomach flattening out the small wrinkles in her dress that had begun to form as she sat. Letting out a breath she lets her shoulders relax and her head to raise before she begins to make her way down the stairs and into the crowds of people waiting for her at the bottom. She would not let this sour her mood she thought, she would enjoy Loki's night if it killed her. If she kept mouthing off to father it just might.
Loki catches her eye as he spins another girl across the dance floor, this one in a large red ball gown with long red lace sleeves. She waved, smiling politely hoping not to show him any sign of her internal unrest. Loki tended to only pretend that he was having a nice night during these events as long as she did. It was almost like an unspoken rule between the two. They made a show of it, smiling and laughing through the night. Knowing full well that when Odin would give his last words of the night they would sneak down the halls on quick feet stumbling into her chambers. They’d curl up in front of the fire to share every terrible moment of pomp and arrogance that always came hand in hand with these sorts of events.
They would not be doing that anymore though.
Not after tonight.
“May I have this dance?” Thor's deep voice asks from beside her. His large hand held out for her to take. She smiled up at the big goof who had clearly taken himself away from a set of women who had been very interested in him. If the death stares from the young girls standing behind him were any indication.
“Of course, Thor, always. “ She placed her small hand in his, his large fingers swallowing it as he wrapped them around her hand and pulled her to an empty spot on the dance floor. Thor's arm wrapped around her waist gently swaying her back and forth with him to the soft pull of the violin strings. One of Belle's favorite things to do was to dance. When she was young she had forced the two men both only a few years older than her to practice with her. Thor had been overjoyed to help her and once she had come of age to do more than stand on top of his feet while he moved about he had been even more delighted to learn with her. Some days it was all they did, making large circles within the room laughing to themselves when they would lose count of the music and stumble around each other until they fell back into time. Some nights after Thor had gone to sleep Loki would sit in the shadows of the room watching as she practiced alone.
He’d sit and watch until she grew frustrated with her own minor imperfections, half steps that stumbled into each other or a missed beat in the music that flustered her completely. She’d fling her heels across the room in frustration cursing like she were a warrior and not a princess. Only then would he step in, wrapping her in his arms mumbling softly to her what she needed to do to do it right while he walked her through it.
“Your misery is showing.” Thor's voice whispered to her, his deep voice a ghost over her shoulder as he moved her body slowly across the floor. Her head snapped up to meet his eyes. His crinkling up at the edges as he smiled down at her.
“I thought I was doing so well to cover it.” She mused to herself pressing her cheek into the metal of one of the clasps of his armour. Ignoring the likelihood of the indent it would cause on her features.
“You give little thought to your face when you’re off in your own head sister.” Suddenly Thor lifted her from the ground letting her heeled feet land on top of his own boots. He spun her in tight fast circles, not stopping till he pulled a loud laugh from her lips. “Don’t think too much about father, I'm sure he will find a way to correct your disagreement.”
“With a gift, Thor, I don’t desire a gift.” Belle sighed pulling back from Thors large body to look up into his eyes. “There is only so far a new necklace can go in solving such issues.”
“What is it you desire then? I’m sure I can talk father into it. A new horse? Perhaps you’ve outgrown your living quarters?” She knew his intentions were good, they always were. Never in her years here had he meant to upset or hurt her. But all she could think about was how little he knew of her. This was meant to be her husband some day. The man she would spend the rest of her life with.
This is how he would solve everything she thought. Every fight would end with a trinket, every harsh word would have a diamond not an apology. Infidelity would grant her her deepest desires. The thought nearly moved her to tears. This was not what she wanted, to be married to a man that would someday be indistinguishable from the man who raised them.
“Don’t think about it, I desire nothing more than whatever father wishes to provide.” It's a lie.
“Excellent, see Belle? This will all be over in the morning.” He doesn’t know.
“Excuse me, mind if I cut in?” His voice is sweet, the way it usually is. Standing just a foot away with a hand extended, the other placed behind his back, a disingenuous smile pulled across his lips.
“Don’t you have women to entertain brother?” Thor asked, his voice dripping with displeasure.
“I’ve been doing so all night and not once has one of those women been our dear sister.” Loki explains turning his attention from Thor to Belle. “May I?”
“Of course.” She smiles, taking his hand letting him pull her from Thors grasp and deeper into the crowds of people who watched them as they moved. When suddenly he spins her towards him they all take a few steps back,clearly intrigued at the Prince's quick change of attitude. He pulled her towards him, till their chests touch and their breath meets.
“Having you so close upsets brother.” He mumbled a slight smirk playing on his features. As if he were answering a question he was not asked. “I believe he doesn’t enjoy others touching what is his.”
“I am no man's property.”
“At least not yet.” His words shocked her in their coldness. He begins to spin her with him, his steps fast and smooth across the dance floor caught up with the way her skirt shifted around them.
“Tell me Love, what has you so upset?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” She’s lying.
“You look so fetching when you lie to me.” He knows it.
She lets her eyes leave his face, instead focusing some where behind him. Caught in the sea of faces around them suddenly aware of all the eyes on them. Then with a sign she allows Loki his answer. “It’s father.”
“Ah of course it is, he does have a talent for setting you off.”
“Almost as talented as you.”
“You know how I love to be the best.” He laughs just a short chuckle as he lifts her from the ground. A tight circle that makes a full laugh slip from her lips in amusement and settles that upset feeling deep in her stomach in the way only Loki could.
He lets her back down her feet falling perfectly in time with him again. She isn’t surprised when his movements begin to quicken pulling her along with him. The people around them become undefined blurs in her peripheral vision and the only thing she can focus on is him.
“Can I ask you something?”
“You know you can Love.”
“Does the reality of what the rest of your life will be ever weigh on you?” She asks her head, cocking slightly to the right as she looks up at him. Unsure what he means to say when he looks up from her and instead focuses on the faces in the room around them. What has become a full circle of people watching them as they twirl about along the marble floor.
“I am afraid I’ve been doing that a lot tonight.” She feels like a fool for asking such a silly question. Sure her sudden and looming unhappiness with the reality of her soon to be marriage with Thor was one thing, but at least she knew Thor. Knew that his heart was in the right place even if he had no idea how to love her. She knew him and that was more than Loki could say in such a moment. By the end of the night he would have a bride and he knew not the heart of any woman in the room. She was being selfish again. “Why love? What frightens you about your future?”
Yet he was so kind to her to entertain her in such a way.
Odin's staff slammed into the ground, shaking the floor and shocking the guests as he did so. In a gasp the pair pulled away from each other, not so much as to allow much space between them but rather dropping their arms from each other. Feeling like the misguided adolescents they once were about to be scolded by their father for some misbehavior. The old man stood from his chair looking around the crowd, stopping for a moment at the two of his children that stood in an empty space on the dance floor before moving on.
“I want to thank all of you for coming tonight, this has been one of the most successful matching ceremonies I have seen in all my years.” His deep voice booms through the room echoing across the walls shaking the crystals of the chandeliers above their heads just the slightest. “As for the matter of my youngest son's hand. I have made my choice”
It was a clear call for Loki to move across the room to his father. The guests in front of the man parted like the red sea, slowly he made his way through the crowd and to the foot of the stairs. He looked like a dead man walking, she thought. His movements are forced and slow. Rather than climbing the stairs to stand beside his father as Thor might have, instead Loki stops at the bottom of the steps and looks up at his father. His hands folded across his lap, his lips in a straight line.
Apparently this is the right choice because Odin smiles looking down at him. “This has been a much harder choice than I had thought it was going to be.” Nobody's sure if Odin is speaking to the crowd or to Loki directly. “All I want is the best for you, my son, for all of my children. And this is why I have made the choice that I have made.”
There is a silence that falls through the room as if not even a mouse dared to make a sound. The quiet chatter and gossip that once filled every empty spot in the ballroom was now completely gone. Everyone is equally unsure of the name that will be called next, which woman in the room would have the honor of becoming the next Asgardian princess. Which woman will have the honor to stand beside him for the thousands of years to come.
She wants to cry, it came in a wave so hot and intense she hadn’t been ready for. The sudden pain of losing him to another woman, one that she would have to accept, one she would have to live with, one she would have to call her sister. It hurts. Her chest aches and when she sees the eyes of a few of the women around her turn to look at her she wishes the ground would swallow her whole.
A princess is not meant to cry, especially not in front of her court. Odin's words echoed in her head and it only makes it worse. She is selfish, an undeserving girl of the love and family she has been given, she thinks. Perhaps Odin will do her the kindness of sending her away from Asgard for the wedding. Perhaps this display of emotion will earn her a one way ticket out of Asgard completely. Sniffling she wiped the tears from under her eyes, letting out a shaking breath pass through her lips.
“My sweet girl.” Odin's voice breaks through her thoughts and tears. Startling her from her self hating thoughts. “My dearest Belle, you came into my home when you were just the tiniest of babies. Your father was a good man, perhaps one of the best men Asgard has ever seen. And it has been my honor to raise you as my own. Now I ask if you will accept my son's hand and become an official member of our family?”
Her breath catches, as she stands staring up at her father. A large smile at his lips and his bright eyes with hope of her acceptance. Slowly her eyes fall to Loki’s, he’s turned to look at her, shock is written in all of his features. She was meant for Thor they all think, she was meant for the oldest brother. And yet here the Allfather stands offering her the youngest. They all think maybe she has done something to upset Odin, to fall from his favor, Belle can already hear the gossip coming as they stare at her. But she can’t help but smile.
Lifting her dress to show the soft silver of the shoes she has chosen to wear, Belle makes quick work of moving to the front of the room. Not stopping to stand beside Loki rather she moves to march straight up the stairs to stand in front of her father. They all can’t help but watch with bated breath. She’ll refuse, they're sure of it. The drama would be some of the most exciting to ever happen in the halls of the castle. She’ll be banished from the kingdom in the morning. They’ll be rid of her and someone else will stand in her place. They’re all so sure.
“Why father?”
“You are right my girl, no one woman in this room knows Loki’s heart. None except you.” One of his large hands comes up to cup the side of her face. It’s a gesture she has not felt many times before but certainly never in public. But here he shows it to her. This is meant to be an act of kindness she relics. This is not meant to be Odin's punishment for her, but rather her reward.
“Are you truly alright with this? I know you had plans, that Thor and I-”
“Child, Thor will not make you happy. Am I right?”
“Perhaps years ago.”
“Perhaps,” Odin pauses as if for a moment he’s thinking back to a simpler time, when they were all so much younger and easier to understand. When his biggest worries were them sneaking out their rooms and pulling pranks on the guards. “But what now?”
The words left sticky in her mouth mucked up with all the things she didn’t know how to explain .” No, he won't.”
“And Loki?”
“I don’t know.”
“I am offering you this as a chance for happiness, my girl. I have come to know that Loki adores you in a way I could only hope a man would. I think despite your fears you may feel the same for him.” She can’t help but cry, she is awashed in relief, her lips coming together a tight thin line as her eyes shut. Unable to meet Odin's eyes as she nodded her head. She had always known she does not love him the way she was meant to. Loki has always been special, in a way that she always feared to say out loud. “You will be beautiful together my girl.”
Gently she raises a hand to grasp onto his wrist. “Thank you father. For this. Thank you.”
“I believe it is I who should be thanking you child. We are all better men for knowing you.” Pulling away from each other the pair are left with happy wet smiles, the tiniest of chuckles pulling from both of them. “Now dear I believe we have an announcement to make.”
With a nod she turns from him towards the crowd of onlookers, her head held high, hands held together in front of her. For a moment, Loki thinks he knows the answer, his heart dropping into his stomach, she’s been crying. This isn’t what she wanted. Of course. She said she didn’t want Thor but that didn’t mean she wanted him. Odin will announce another name he thinks, the second runner up. Belle will leave. He’ll be alone. But then she’s smiling in a way that is so captivating it stops his spiral of thoughts completely. Odin's hand comes to rest on her shoulder drawing the young girl closer, making her look even smaller under him. They’re both smiling. When was the last time he’d seen father smile like that?
When the storm of gossip does not come to an end under their watch Odin's staff again slams against the marble of the flooring. Reminding all of the guests again of where they stand, and who is watching them. “I believe my dear girl would like to say a few words.” His voice is harsh as if he is daring anyone to question him. To dare speak out that this is not how this ceremony is meant to go. Never is the prospective bride given a chance to say anything. Then again never has the prospective bride already been spoken for by another. Likely there has never been a ceremony like this one. It’ll be one of the books.
“Years ago I was presented with a gift, and that gift was my title and my family. After losing both my parents, this family and in turn all of you took me in as your own, for that I want to say thank you. Thank you all for allowing me the honor of standing as your princess.” She’s going to say no. They know it. All of their eyes turn to the prince who has not moved his whole body set still. As if he were made of stone. “Today I have been given another gift, one that I will never forget. And that gift is to stand beside Prince Loki of Asgard as his future bride. And if he will have me,” here she pauses, her attention falling from somewhere passed the crowd to Loki himself. Tears begin to slip from her eyes again yet the smile on her lips is so sincere he relives that these are tears of joy. “It would be my honor to be his bride.”
There's a silence in the air as she stops speaking a heavy silence in the wake of her declaration. She is giving him a choice, a choice to tell her no. This is why he loves her; he thinks that this moment shakes her future and she is still looking to him to ask if it’s all ok. She is truly asking him if it’s ok that she chose him. “The honor is all mine Love.”