In Which Men Out Of Time Are Discussed
Avengers Chat:
3:40 pm, July 27, 2024:
Nat: Forget about the time travel, regardless of how interested you are in it. Who is this so-called "Best Man Out Of Time"?
Tony Stank: Does Coulson agree that that moniker is accurate?
Popsicle: He'd better not
Capsicle: I doubt it. He was a huge fan of me. The time immediately after my defrosting (and the helicarrier... especially the helicarrier) were really awkward
Mayday: I've heard stories about those days...
Bird #1: I feel like May's current display name doesn't have enough... May-ness
Nat: Hmm... it does lack a certain badass quality
Mayday: What do you two mean? My display name is fine
Skyenet has changed Mayday's display name to The Motherf***ing Cavalry and Proud of It Since the 1980s
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Isn't that a little long?
Tony Stank: Coulson! Who is your favorite person from the past in this chat?
Popsicle: *starts polishing knives* it better be me or Cap...
Nat: Hey! Polishing knives for intimidation is my thing!
Popsicle: Too bad, so sad. Not specific enough for you to have a legal case
Bird #2: Also, it's not Nat filed a patent or anything
Nat: Oh? And how do you know that?
Capsicle: Because we were national fugitives until a few days ago? It's self-explanatory...
Nat: America isn't the only country on Earth, Rogers. Indeed, not every country signed the original Accords. Heck, not every country has signed the revised accords
Shuri: Wakanda still hasn't, as an FYI
Witch: Was that really relevant information?
Shuri: No, but I wanted to prove that I still had access to this chat
Spidey: Mr. Stark is debating banning me from this chat because it "has too much adult content"
Shuri: WTF?
Spidey: I know, right?
Nat: That means that I could have a patent in a non-American country, or even in America. I'm - or, at least, I was a spy, Rogers
Mayday: If Stank's adoptive kid is kicked from the chat, will the weird and ridiculous cussing filters go away?
Tony Stank: Nope. Those are hard-coded to this chat
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: I presume that Daisy isn't above quaking me to influence my vote in the "Best Man Out Of Time" vote, so, for my own safety, I refuse to answer that inquiry
Skyenet: It's true. I'm not above that. *Smiles serenely*
Tony Stank: Who even is the Best Man Out Of Time? What time period are they from?
Skyenet: The forties
Tony Stank: Awww. Still? That's disappointing. We need variety in time travelers. There have never been any time travelers from the future or a decade other than the 1940s. The universe needs to get more creative with this stuff
Mischief: I have this weird feeling that I'm glad that it didn't. No clue why though
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Deja vu?
Mischief: No. Just a feeling. Maybe it's multiversial somehow?
Skyenet: There were the evil, time-traveling alien robots, Stark...
Tony Stank: There were what?
Skyenet: Evil, time-traveling alien robots. Are you growing stupid in your old age, Stark?
Bird #1: Ooooh, burn!
Nat: Clint. Be more mature... That being said, that is hilarious
Capsicle: Is this "Best Man Out Of Time" anyone that I would know?
Skyenet: Actually, yes
The Mother***ing Cavalry and Proud of It Since the 1980s: You did date the same person...
Popsicle: Wait, who did they both date?
Skyenet: Peggy Carter
The Best Man Out Of Time: She wouldn't shut up about Cap. Why we eventually broke up, although we stayed on good terms
Popsicle: That makes you... Daniel Sousa, then?
Skyenet: Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner!
Nat: Wait, wait, wait. Tabling the the old guys reunion for a sec...
The Best Man Out Of Time: Hey!
Capsicle: Hey!
Popsicle: Hey!
Nat: Since when is May proud of being the Cavalry
Skyenet: The 1980s. It's in her username
Nat: Except a) I'm not sure Bahrain had even happened before the 1990s, and b) she was ashamed in this century. I'm not going insane, right? Clint, back me up here
Black Widow #2: Don't worry, sister. You're still the epitome of sanity.
Bird #1: Nat's right
Skyenet: Well, I never said that this happened in this timeline's 1980s...
Tony Stank: Wait, the multiverse exists? So many possibilities... Hey, Bruce! The multiverse apparently exists. Want to perform experiments to determine how it functions?
Hulk: No, Tony, I'm done playing mad scientist
Tony Stank: What if I offered you an incentive?
Hulk: Go on...
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: We are never letting Fitzsimmons and Bruce Banner and Tony Stark to be in a single room. That would be an unmitigated disaster. The world is nowhere near ready for what they would unleash
The Mother***ing Cavalry And Proud of It Since the 1980s: I agree with Coulson completely here. Daisy, back me up here
Skyenet: I'll endeavor to keep them distracted with space tech
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: That isn't even remotely a better idea!
Energy: I hate to admit this, but it probably is. If half of the stories I've heard about Tony Stank and Bruce Banner are true, them meeting Fitzsimmons would be apocalyptic... in either sense of the word
Tony Stank: What does that mean?
Skyenet: It's a joke in Greek, I think
Energy: It is
Nat: So, them getting together would mean the end of the world or a grand revelation?
Energy: Yep! Or both. Likely both
FITZsimmons: I found your lack of faith in me and my wife disturbing
FitzSIMMONS: Really, Daisy, have a little more faith in us
FITZsimmons: It's not like you can prevent it, after all
The Mother***ing Cavalry And Proud of It Since the 1980s: Prevent what? You're starting to make me very worried
FitzSIMMONS: Us meeting with those who call themselves the Science Bros...
FITZsimmons: Fate's will cannot be prevented, after all
The Mother***ing Cavalry And Proud of It Since the 1980s: This is going to be an unmitigated disaster
Skyenet: I know. I can't wait
Skyenet: Also, this kind of thing is why I used to believe that Fitzsimmons had one mind spread across two bodies. Their dispute after SHIELD's fall cast doubt on that, and the bloody Framework killed it, but they are ridiculously in sync
FitzSIMMONS: Indeed. Even physical manifestations of our dark sides like each other...
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: I didn't need to know that. How do you even know that? Faith? Please be faith...
Skyenet: Probably Chronicom tech