Dreams

Ever since Loki broke the silence between us, he had grown more talkative by the day. He was still reserved and calculated, but he seemed to actually enjoy talking about his home and how things worked on Earth. Now that we found ourselves on decent terms, we spent a good portion of my time as his guard talking. This was good in thought, but it greatly diminished the amount of time that I could spend studying. Gone were the days of relative quiet and uninterrupted work time, and in were the days of intellectual conversations that, although stimulating and interesting, were in no way helping me get my degree. I obviously couldn’t reduce my hours with Loki, or ward off his peaceful advances without jeopardizing the entire point of my working at the Compound.

There was only one solution I could think of, and it meant talking to one of the most intimidating Avengers of all- the world renowned scientist, and my personal idol, Dr. Bruce Banner. After a week of successful conversations with Loki, I resolved to ask the Doctor for a favor before I left to go home.

I knocked on the glass door of the lab before tentatively poking my head in.

“Excuse me, Dr. Banner?”

Bruce’s head jerked up, looking surprised to be reminded that a world existed outside of the slides of his microscope.

“Oh, uh, hello!” he mumbled politely. “What can I help you with? Did Tony send you for something?”

“Oh no, I just wanted to ask you a small favor.” I fiddled with my hands. “Would it bother you if I were to study here with you, in the lab? Staying with Loki has been taking up a lot of my time, and I refuse to let myself fall behind in school because of it. I’ve read about body doubling when studying, and I feel like being around you could really help me relax and focus enough to get my school work done. Loki likes to talk too much for me to get much actual work done, and my roommate is just too stressful to be around when I need to study. I promise I won’t get in your way or bother you, and I’ll leave whenever you want me to-”

Bruce chuckled, stumbling over his words a bit. “Oh, um yeah, of course you can study here, Andi! And no need to worry about ‘bothering’ or ‘disturbing me,’” he added, using air quotes. “I’ve seen you on the cams and around the Compound trying to get some work done, and you look quite dedicated once you get going. If you ever need any help- not that I mean you aren’t highly intelligent,” he hurried to explain, “but I do have quite a bit of experience when it comes to chemistry and such- if you ever need any help, please don’t hesitate to ask.” He smiled. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, what is it that you study?”
“Psychology. I’m considering becoming a clinical psychologist to focus on abnormal psych and treat those with mental health issues and developmental disorders. Might as well put all the ‘cool and calculating, while warm and compassionate’ energy that I get told I have to good use and help some people.”

The doctor nodded. “I see. And I assume that I would make quite the interesting case file for such a student.”

I frowned. “I suppose you would. Geniuses are often studied by the ordinary folk around them who are desperate to emulate them. Truthfully, I do find you fascinating. But it is much less in the ‘wanting to pick you brain’ sort of way that I’m sure you are used to by now, and more in the vein of admiration and respect.” I grinned, quickly adding “Not to get too emotional, especially after you just granted one of my nerd heart’s dreams by letting me study with you. It’s like being near DaVinci, but I don’t feel self-conscious wearing jeans and eating peanut butter out of a jar around you.”

Bruce laughed- a real, loud laugh- not the quiet, polite laugh that he usually allowed himself.

“Well,” he said after collecting himself enough to speak, “I’m sure your snacking is no match for Stark’s. I swear, every day I have to recalculate a formula or theorem because he smeared salsa or cheese on it. The other day he zapped a ham with the arc reactor to see if it would be flash cooked or if it would simply explode. It exploded, although you wouldn’t be able to tell after the scrubbing that his robots gave the place.”

I rolled my eyes, chuckling. Nothing would seem so outlandish to the general public, but so in character to those who knew the brilliant moron than a scientific ham explosion.

“Well, I hate to keep you, Dr. Banner. I’m sure you have more important, scientific things to do, like maybe tazering a pineapple, for instance, than talking to a college student employed as an overly glorified babysitter.” I walked to the door, and leaned in the doorway. “Do let me know if you plan on tazering anything, though. I definitely want in on that action.”

“Will do. And please,” he waved a hand dismissively, “call me Bruce. We spend way too much time together for formalities. Normally I prefer the doctor title, and I appreciate you using it, but I can tell we’re going to be friends by the end of the week with you working here, so we can just make things easier and skip it.”

I smiled widely and twitched my hand excitedly.

“I look forward to spending more time with you, Bruce.”

“Oh, one more thing!” he said. “I’m going to talk to Tony about setting up a room for you here. You’re here a third of the day, at classes another third, and sleeping for the rest. It seems like you could save a lot of time and effort if you just slept here a couple nights a week. I’ve been a bit worried about you getting enough sleep as it was, let alone now that Loki is actually socializing with you.”
I smiled sincerely. “Thank you, Bruce. That’s really considerate of you. Honestly, sleeping here would save me a 30 minute commute both ways, and I could really use that extra time sleeping or studying, or even having a social life. Maybe I can plan a little get together for the other Avengers. I feel like the person I know the best in the Compound is Loki, and I was assigned to prevent him from escaping, so I don’t think that’s a very healthy relationship.”

I pointed to Bruce. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll order a pizza and we can all spend my first night here hanging out and getting to know each other better. Does that sound good, or is it too much like a teenager slumber party type of thing?”

“That sounds like a great plan,” he said, nodding. “I look forward to getting to know everyone a bit better. The only person around here I really know at all is Stark, and even then, everything I know is surface information, nothing you can’t learn from his Wikipedia page.”
“Awesome, I’ll talk to Tony about it and I guess he can get the word out from there. Looks like we’re going to have ourselves a little party!” I pumped the air with my fist. “Well, I have to go now, but I guess I’ll see you tomorrow Dr- Bruce,” I corrected myself. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Bruce.”

Bruce smiled and waved. “See you tomorrow.”

The next day, I was surprised to be welcomed by Tony as I entered the Compound. He was waiting for me fiddling with what looked like a way more advanced version of a smartphone, with clear paneling and no visible buttons. I barely had time to notice that he was working on blueprints of some kind before he looked up and greeted me.

“Ah, Andi.” He clasped my shoulder and began gently steering me down the hall to the elevator.  “I have a quick little surprise for you, before you clock in. Do you clock in?”
I shrugged, walking with him, his arm still over my shoulder. “Kind of. The only person here for me to relieve is Natasha, but even she can only do so many 16 hour shifts in a week. Why do you ask?”
“Oh, just wondering. Bruce has asked me to design a room for you to help you manage what time you have away from the green menace in the containment room. I figured you would want to be close to him, but also close to the lab to work with Bruce, which he also told me about.” He paused. “I have to say, I’m a little surprised he agreed to let you work near him. Usually he’s pretty uptight about his space because of, y’known, the big green monster. The Mr. Hyde to his Dr. Banner. He was resistant to even working with me, but, it’s my lab in the first place and he was too polite to refuse for long.”

Big green monster, I pondered. Did I miss another metaphor or something? Then I realized, freezing in my tracks.

“Holy shit,” I said out loud. “Tony, I think I may be a bit stupid.”
He shrugged. “Most of us are. So, what’d you forget? Or remember? Or realize?”
I looked at the floor.

“I forgot that Bruce can turn into the Hulk,” I mumbled quietly.

“What was that?”
“I said I forgot that Bruce can turn into the Hulk.” I glanced up at Tony to gauge his reaction. He stifled a laugh.

“You forgot about the giant green dude that was swinging around Manhattan around, what, a month ago? That the quaint little scientist isn’t the only reason we keep Banner around?”
I sighed and resigned myself to my fate.

“Yep,” I admitted. “I forgot that my super cool role model turned coworker of sorts can turn into a giant green person with rage issues who literally fought off an alien invasion barehanded. Go ahead. Laugh away.”
Tony grinned. “No, I mean, we all make mistakes. I’m not saying that I’ve ever forgotten something this big, but I’m sure it happens to lots of people.”

“I’m sure the average person’s life is filled with much more mundane issues than a sweet and absurdly brilliant man having the ability to turn into a giant mutant dude who likes to smash aliens,” I replied. “Given, I’ve never really had an average experience in life, but I’m pretty sure that’s not a normal thing that goes on in most people’s lives.”

Tony shrugged. “Normal is boring. Normal is bleh. You never hear of a normal person doing something great. Anyway,” he grabbed my shoulder again, “back to your surprise.”

We walked for a few minutes, taking long hallways and elevators. I fiddled with my hands the whole time we walked, excited about the surprise, but slightly uncomfortable because Tony was touching me. I was significantly more comfortable with him than with most people, but it still felt odd for someone to make physical contact with me, especially as his arm grazed the back of my unprotected neck. Normally that direct kind of contact would make me flinch away or start twitching. Thankfully, Tony was familiar enough that it was no more unpleasant than being forced to smile awkwardly for a photo.

I think the average person would enjoy this, I thought as we walked. Man, people are weird. How are they supposed to swing their arms while they walk if they’re this close? What if they walk weird like me? Logically, holding hands and stepping away from each other would make more sense. Or a nice elbow escort. Oh well, he’s doing his best and I appreciate the assumed affection that this represents.

Finally, we reached our destination, a door a few floors above Loki’s containment chamber. The door was made of the blackest black material I had ever seen and had a curved top. I glanced at Tony, who released my shoulder and smiled at me.

“Welcome,” he gestured dramatically, “to your new room!”

I grinned as he showed me the elaborate way of unlocking the beautiful door and how I could customize a password so that only I could unlock it. After he finished his quick tutorial, which he seemed very proud and a little smug about, he opened the door and walked inside, gesturing for me to follow.

Hello, Ms. Berch, said the robotic voice of JARVIS as I crossed the doorway.

“Hello, JARVIS. Tell me, how long did Tony work on setting up my room?”

Quite a while. 17 hours and 32 minutes to be exact.

I shoved Tony playfully. “I don’t know why I expected anything less, you giant goof.”

The room was, in a word, fantastic. It was a large room with hanging plants and mirrors everywhere. The bed was full size with an ornate headboard made out of solid mahogany, with leaves engraved into it. The double dresser matched, and had a large golden mirror hanging above it. The comforter on the bed was a deep maroon, as was an armchair in the corner. A candle sat on almost every surface, all in different elaborate shapes. Two open doors revealed a walk in closet and a full bathroom with a claw foot bath tub. There was a desk against the wall across from the door, already stocked with study supplies. Above it was what appeared to be a window, although we were far underground. I frowned and looked at Tony.

“It’s a false window,” he explained. “I figured that you would want some sort of nature relief after being trapped underground with Loki all day, so I tinkered around a bit and created this. You can change the view and weather to whatever you want. You can even simulate having an open window with a breeze. All you have to do is tell JARVIS what you want, and he’ll do it.”

With pleasure, chimed the polite AI.

Issues with touching aside, I couldn’t help but hug Tony.

“This is beautiful! Thank you so much, Tony,” I mumbled into his shoulder. “It feels like home already. And you even did Gryffindor colors!”
Tony rolled his eyes. “Well, yeah. That was basically mandatory, given you absolute obsession with Harry Potter. I also brought in some plants because I know you like taking care of things, and candles because you find smelling things comforting.”

I let go of him, feeling deeply touched. “Oh my gods, you really listen.” Tony raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I know you listened to me, but this is so sweet! This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Usually people either make me feel uncomfortable and I won’t talk around them, or they start to tone me out after I do start talking. Basically, this is significant to me, and you’re just going to have to deal with me being dramatic about it.”

Tony shrugged. “I’d rather deal with you being dramatic and overly emotional than Bruce or Natasha anyday. C’mere kid.” He wrapped me in side hug. “And for the record, you may be a bit obnoxious at times,” he said in a teasing tone, “but you deserve to be listened to. You’re one of the few people trusted enough to protect the world from literal gods. You’re owed respect.”
I shrugged. “It is what it is. But I appreciate you listening to me and doing all this just to make me more comfortable. Especially because it absolutely worked! This place is seriously amazing, and the window is brilliant, Tony.”

“It was no biggie. I’m sure you would have done the same for me. Now, let’s get you to your shift before Natasha snaps and puts a bullet between Loki’s ears.”

“Okay.” It was hard to walk away from such an inviting room, but I tore myself away, somewhat excited for my talk with Loki.

I greeted the mischievous captive as I walked into the room housing his containment chamber.

“Hey, Loki. What’s up?”

“Oh, you know, the usual,” he drawled sarcastically from where he sat on the floor. “I’m still stuck in a glass box with nothing to do.” He sat up slightly. “You seem to be in a good mood,” he noted. “I don’t supposed it’s because you’ve decided to release me and runaway with me to Asgard to experience true culture.”
“Oh, yeah, you got me. I’ve come to free the man I love so we can live happily ever after.” I fluttered my eyes dramatically, clasping my hands to my heart. Loki scoffed, although his eyes showed a hint of humor. “Actually, it’s your lucky day, my dear prince. You may be seeing more of me from now on, now that I live here!” I pumped my fist, to Loki’s chagrin. “Stark set up a room for me so that I can stay here some nights and be on call if you ever need me,” I explained. “Also, that news definitely deserved more of a reaction.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Ah yes, glory days. I have to spend more time with a mortal assigned to ensure I stay trapped. Lucky me.”

“Yeah, whatever,” I replied. “We both know you like me.”

Suddenly, Loki was on his feet, his face mere inches from mine, only glass separating us.

“Please,” he hissed, “I would sooner force you into this cruel fate than show you any affection. The only reason you haven’t met your face yet is because I am biding my time.”
“Yep,” I deadpanned. “I’ve never heard that one before. Allow me to rephrase. You may not like me, although let’s face it, you totally will in the long run, but you are fond of the relief I provide from the monotonous life you live in here without me. I am the only relief you get from this boringness and isolation because I’m the only one who can bare to be around your entitled, self-glorifying ass. I would recommend you stop relying on your old, outdated, and frankly, weak scare tactics and come up with a better plan for getting out of here, or, better yet, accept that you’re not going anywhere unless it’s as an actually decent person.”

Loki scoffed again, although he returned to his spot on the floor. I noticed that he was obviously attempting to display confident and unbothered body language, but I had clearly gotten to him a little, just enough to make him uncertain of himself.

“Well,” he said in a much more polite tone, “why are you so excited about living here? What does this tower have to offer that the outside world does not?”

“For one, it isn’t thirty minutes from my job. I may actually get a decent amount of sleep if I stay here, and I can actually get my schoolwork done. I can also hangout with the rest of the team, which is cool. And believe it or not, I was actually a bit excited about spending more time with you too,” I admitted.

Loki’s eyes narrowed. “Me? You choose to live in a castle to spend time with its prisoner? What odd tactics you have.”

“I thought you might appreciate more access to the outside world. Unfortunately, there’s no safe way for anyone to bring any books or anything in to you because of your magic.” I frowned.

“What?” questioned Loki.

I shook my head. “Nothing. I just had an idea, but I’ll tell you about it later. Anyway, I guess I’m spending the night here tomorrow. I would tonight, but I need to make sure my roommate is up to date and will take care of my cats, and I need to pack an overnight bag. Maybe if you’re good, I’ll visit you tomorrow night.”
Loki stared at me, expressionless. Even to someone who spent their life studying human emotions and body language, he was hard to read.

“Is that a promise?” he asked. “If so, I’ll have to plan my behavior carefully.”
Well that cleared up precisely nothing.

I decided to change the subject. “Okay, conversation time. What is your favorite meal?”
Loki raised an eyebrow, obviously judging my choice of conversation, but chose to reply, which was more than he did a lot of the time.

“I doubt you have the exact thing here, but basically a slow roasted piece of meat served in its own gravy with mashed potatoes, peas, and rolls. Which traditionally would be followed by a sour type of dessert pie.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “Mine is actually pretty similar, sans peas and sour pie. Well, that or the classic grilled cheese.”

“Grilled cheese? That sounds disgusting. Wouldn’t the cheese just harden and burn?”

“Ah, common mistake, my prickly prince. A grilled cheese is a type of sandwich. It consists of two pieces of bread with cheese in between them. Different people like different cheeses, but I prefer cheddar and mozzarella. It’s pretty simple, but it’s a classic for a reason.”

“That sounds…palatable.”
“Oh!” I exclaimed. “High praise from the prickly one! If only you found me as palatable as a grilled cheese, then we’d really be getting somewhere.”
Loki smirked slightly.

“I don’t find you entirely undesirable. I may not like your personality,” his eyes trailed along me, “but you have other qualities that I admire.”
“Aw, so sweet. Honestly, I think you’d be a lot hotter than me as a woman.” My eyes widened as I had an idea. “Hey, Loki, you can shapeshift right?”
He sighed. “You know the answer to that, and I know where this is going. Luckily for you, I do not mind taking the form of a woman.”

Loki stood and was enveloped by the swirling cloud of green mist that I had seen a few weeks previously. When it dissipated, a gorgeous woman with pale skin and long black hair stood in Loki’s place.

“Damn, Loki! I knew it, you’re way hotter than me!” I exclaimed with glee.

Loki laughed, her voice much higher than usual.
“So,” she said in her familiar drawl, “this is a form you find appealing? This is one of my two favorite forms, but I’ve been preferring my more masculine one recently. It’s a pity, I would quite like to have you look at me the way you are now all the time.” She smirked.

I chuckled. “Hey, I never said your male form wasn’t highly attractive. It’s just that I didn’t expect you to be as gorgeous as a woman too. It’s pretty unfair that you get to be so beautiful all the time, even in different forms and genders. Also, side note, what gender do you identify as? Is the form switching just an aesthetic thing, or is it tied to your gender presentation?”
“I consider myself man, woman, and other, depending on the time,” Loki answered.

“Oh cool, so you’re genderfluid. My sibling is genderfluid too, but just goes by he/they pronouns. Do you have a default pronoun preference, or should I just go with whatever sex you present as?”
Loki narrowed her eyes. “I would prefer you use the pronouns that are paired with my current sex. It is not very common for people to ask me so many questions about my gender,” she observed. “Why do you ask so many questions?”
“For one, this is just really cool and it blows my mind that this is an opportunity you have, to just change your sex to match your current gender. I mean, wow, people would kill for that ability. And secondly, I just want to make sure that I refer to you properly. Being misgendered sucks, and I don’t want to do that to you, even on accident.”
Loki was once again enveloped in green smoke, returning to his male form. He stammered for a moment, clearly hesitant about saying something.

“I appreciate your consideration,” he finally managed to get out. He glanced at me. “Do you really find this form as attractive as my female form?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Your female form definitely had the ‘wow factor’ because I’m not used to it, but you’re just a very attractive person all around. I may have a slight preference for women at times, like a lot of bisexuals, but I could completely understand someone going after you in your current form.”
“Bisexual?” Loki tilted his head in confusion.

“Man, I’m really just educating you on all sorts of human concepts today. Okay, a bisexual is someone attracted to two or more genders. I’m a bisexual because I like men, women, and people who identify elsewhere on the gender spectrum.”
“Ah. I believe that by your mortal standard, I am a bisexual.”
I frowned slightly, looking him up and down.

“Yeah, okay, I believe that. I figured this whole time that you’d be a member of the LGBTQ+ community in some way or other. You’re just way too dramatic to be straight or cis.”

Loki held up his hands. “Okay, I need you to go back and define at least three more terms.”
“Oh my,” I said, scratching my head. “I’ve got a lot of work to do.”
I spent much of the rest of the day’s work period educating Loki on LGBTQ+ matters, including gender identities, sexualities, and the struggles faced by humans who identified as LGBTQ+. He was rightfully angered when he learned that people much like him, sans godlike abilities, were often in danger just because people hated them for existing. By the end of the session, Loki was much more educated on human culture and issues, and I was rightfully exhausted from teaching him all day.

Despite how tired I was, though, I couldn’t help but visit my new room again, just to admire it. By the time I made it through the advanced security of my beautiful door and customized the password to my liking, I was even more tired. I sat my backpack down in the desk chair and asked JARVIS to please show a rainy day outside my window before plopping down on the bed to assess its comfiness.

“Oh, yeah,” I said. “This will do quite nicely.” And with that thought spoken aloud, I drifted off to sleep, the sound of the rain hitting the false window lulling me into a deep slumber.