Loki huffed back into his chair, and ran a hand through his black matted hair, which he chose not to slick back nowadays in fear that it would startle the people around him and bring back all too unpleasant memories.
His horns laid collecting dust on the table before him, as they had done for the last 5 years with barely a fingerprint mark on them, and he did little to try to bother to clean them. He couldn't wear them. Not since Thor tried to be the bold, protecting older brother in front of Thanos.
Not since he failed to avenge what little true family he had left.
It should have been Loki.
Not Thor.
If he hadn't have told Thor about that stupid tesseract and handed it over the moment they were alone in his quarters, then maybe in another universe Thor would still be breathing.
One thing he always admired about his older brother was his boldness to stand up to others much larger than himself, and how he could always hold his own even when defenseless.
An endearing quality.
But foolish in regards to the mad titan.
Like the rest of the team, he found himself unable to move past the events of the snap, after the attack he found the guardians of the galaxy, and landed himself back into New York, much to the dismay of its inhabitants; especially the one who calls himself Strange.
His warning was sincere, and the team were forced to trust him when Ebony Maw landed in central park in search for the infinity stones. The time stone in particular.
Wakanda was a revenge fuelled campaign; he cared little for Midguard, he had resigned his ambition for a throne despite being the only living heir to Asgard, he just wanted to see Thanos and his followers gutted.
He was so close to fixing things, and every time he thinks back to his memories of Thor, he is met by nightmares of Thor's pale, lifeless face as the life was choked out of him, and the eyepatch that hung over his eye soaked in a deep red.
In the fallout he had argued alot, with Barton in particular, though he could probably place a bet on the reasoning relating back to his attack on 2012 New York. Few were willing to forgive him, but he appreciated the gesture anyways, tensions were calm between himself and the captain, along with the remaining members of the guardians and the black widow, who had also lost a sibling to Thanos.
Barton had departed for a while now, giving the god some room to breath, however when the Ant Man or whatever he called himself nowadays got Stark to send out the signal about the possible time travel, everyone was willing to truce to at least bring back some hope, but he knows that this period of serenity probably wouldn't last.
Rogers was leaning forward in his chair, pointing towards the holographic projector and the reality stone.
"Have any of you had contact with the reality stone?" He enquired, and the room was silent for a few painful seconds, before Loki unfurled his hands from the sleeves of his midguardian hoodie, and stood up, ignoring the pointed looks as he swiped away the info on 'Loki's sceptre' that they were discussing for the mind stone and research only moments before.
He didn't need everyone to be reminded of what he did whilst he was trying to explain the plan, nor did he want anyone actively resenting him in this crucial moment.
"The reality stone was originally used by the dark elves" he croaked out, despising himself for how much more mute he became in modern times, when he no longer had the energy to deal with angry avengers blaming him.
"It manifested itself in a sludge-like form known by asgardians as the Aether"
The screen flashed to a diagram of what he was explaining, and he pulled up the information files on the convergence, trying not to think about the large holes hovering above London and his brother's ex girlfriend: the Astrophysict Jane Foster.
"I later ordered our warriors under the guise of Odin to give it away to the collector." He met the judgemental gaze of Stark, and found himself having to elaborate. "To prevent storing two infinity stones in the same place, seeing as the tesseract was already on asgard"
"This was needed because.." He swiped through to find a clear picture of Dr Foster, and enlarged it for the group to see, "the scientist or whatever you mortals call them, Ms. Foster encountered the stone,"
Stark shot him a look that would have probably have stabbed clean through his back had he not been the god of lies himself, and he held up a finger to silence the insufferable billionaire.
He straightened up and flicked through the files on the convergence. "How, I do not know"
Rhodey opened his mouth to say something, but Loki reluctantly cut him off, "What I do know is that she was dispatched to Asgard for some time, where they extracted the stone with"
He frantically swiped until an image of a tube, cylinder like mechanism appeared on screen "this contraption."
Dr Banner approached the god, and he gave the god an iced coffee; one of his favourites since landing on Midguard. The pair were on fairly good terms, all things considered.
He thanked the green bulk of a man, and sipped at the drink, thankful for its refreshing qualities as it soothed his dry throat in the middle of his small presentation.
"I advise that if you send myself and someone else there, I can navigate us through a secret passageway that runs through the dungeons to the chambers that Ms Foster is being cared for."
The captain respectfully raised a hand and after the god finished taking another sip of his drink, he nodded in acceptance to the gesture.
"How do you plan to get past the guards?"
"That, my friend, is something that shapeshifting is useful for" he replied, as he ran his hands through his hair, "If we took someone smaller in size" he shifted towards rocket "who could sneak past them and extract the Aether whilst I distract them, then we could return back with the mission completed"
"And how do we know you won't betray us?" Barton practically snapped, and the god just sighed in defeat at the accusation, too tired to deal with this conflict, he retracted his hand into his sleeve, and swiped at his own face, trying to stave off the visible hurt.
"I would have thought that after 5 years of working with you, you would at least hold an ounce of t-"
He started casually, but Barton slammed his fist on the table in front of him, causing the dust gathering horns on the table to bounce, with specs scattering off into the cleaner surrounding air.
"I still have nightmares over what you did to me. You think i would just forget that??" He hissed, and the Norse god just swiped away the files and retreated back to his seat. Cap shot him an apologetic look along with Nat, and Bruce mouthed "I know your trying your best", and he could only form a tight lipped smile.
Barton tried to square him up, and Loki just sighed again, "The stone was in my head too," he tried pushing the archer away lightly, but he wasn't making any clear intention of moving. "And I already said I am sorry about everything that happened, so will you please for the love of the nine let me make amends?" He added, as he quickly shoved him out of the way with annoyance, and anyone who knew him well knew there was no malice in his actions.
The briefing continued, and eventually they had all agreed on their designated timezones and teams.
==============================
The watches that Stark had concucted were very praise worthy, despite his inner protests at looking at himself in the mirror with the clear Avengers insignia, but here he was, the Loki of 2024 was redeemed, and with that he would force himself to wear the armour of his old enemies, if that was enough to prove he was a changed god.
Everyone wore a matching red and white suit that was packed inside the watch, and Loki almost used his magic to change the colours to his signature Black and Green colours, until he spotted the red blanket he kept as a reminder of who's room his used to be, and who he was doing this for, and the legacy his brother had worked so hard to build to be a good person.
"Five years ago we lost" the captain declared as they congregated into a circle, he looked around at everyone,"All of us."
He looked at Rhodey first as they huddled together in what Loki presumed was a midguardian tradition for teamwork and complete dedication, and he was surprised he wasn't backing out.
"We lost friends. We lost family."
They all backed away, and banner retreated to the console to setup the start up sequence.
"We lost a part of ourselves, and now we have a chance to take it all back"
"You know your teams.. you know your missions" his gaze abruptly settled on the god, before flitting over to Barton, who took his place next to Natasha, "we get the stones, we get them back"
"One round each. No mistakes, no do-overs, most of us are going somewhere we know, but that doesn't mean we should know what to expect" Steve glanced at both Loki and Tony.
"Be careful."
"Look out for each other" he glanced around the group, everyone nodded in succession.
"This is the fight of our lives"
"And we're gonna win"
The god gave a genuine smile as for the first time in forever, he felt like a part of something bigger than himself.
"Whatever it takes" he met the gaze of Barton, who was actually smiling at him, despite the nervous shuffle in his step.
"Good luck" Steve whispered, although everyone could hear him, and everyone resumed their places.
"He's pretty good at that" rocket mumbled, not wanting to ruin the mood of the pep-talk that the captain had so graciously blessed the group with.
"See you in a minute" Nat replied, flashing the group a comforting smile as Bruce tapped his watch and the chamber started to move.
The ceiling was adjusting to the start up sequence and the god could feel the beginnings of doubt begin to creep in, the pep-talk already rubbing off, but he had to stamp this down for Thor, to prove to the universe that he could be a hero and continue his big brother's legacy, now that he no longer lived in his shadow.
His helmet snapped on, and for a moment his eyes blew wide, and he nervously glanced at the floor.
"The sun will shine on us again, someday brother" he whispered, and Rocket reached up to briefly squeeze his hand, probably more out of nervousness than anything else, but he didn't care, his focus was on the mission.
And he'd rather die than fail one more time.
=============