Chapter 1
It was a normal Monday morning in the Tendou household, with the entire household, minus one terminally lazy part time panda, gathered around a table piled high with one of Kasumi’s perfect breakfasts. The sky was clear, the sounds of the slowly waking up Nerima ward filtered in through the window in a gentle melody of awakening, and overall it seemed like it was going to shape up to be a wonderful day. All of this was, however, lost on a certain red haired, pigtailed martial artist at the table who was quickly scarfing down as much food as she could before-
“BOY!”
Ranma bit back a curse as she attempted to dive to the side, but if her father had one talent to his lousy name, it was martial skill, which unfortunately translated to excellent aim with the tea kettle full of nearly boiling water he’d just thrown at his only child. With a loud clang Ranma found herself sprawled on the floor, head aching and anger burning in her too flat too broad too wrong chest as she leapt up and threw the kettle back at her father, her own martial skill meaning she had just as much ease beaning him in the head as he had her.
“What the hell old man! Couldn’t at least wait till after breakfast ta start this crap?”
“Me?! What about you, couldn’t even wait until you left the house to get turned into that pathetic form of yours? Do you have no pride as a man!?”
“Maybe I’m just tired a’ goin’ ta school wet! It’s a pointless pain in-”
Ranma stopped mid yell and stared at her father, slowly relaxing out of the fighting stance she’d taken out of instinct as she saw something flutter on Genma’s back.
“Pops, what the hell do ya have on yer back?”
Genma scoffed, “You can’t distract me that easily boy, now get-”
Soun spoke up from behind Genma as he reached out and pulled what looked to be some kind of scroll from Genma’s back, “Actually old friend, it appears the boy is right, you do have something back here, it looks like a letter of some kind! I wonder how it got there…”
Genma spun around and grabbed the paper from Soun’s hands and started to look it over, his face getting paler as he read, his eyes darting feverishly as he made his way through the missive. Once he reached the end he looked up at Ranma and started to speak.
“Boy, get your things, we need to-”
Genma was cut off by the sound of roaring flames and shattering floorboards as chains exploded from underneath him, fire flaring from the jagged opening in the ground and wooden shrapnel clattering against the walls as everyone instinctively ducked out of the way of the flaying debris. The chains wrapped themselves around Genma’s form before he, or anyone else, could even react, and despite his struggles (which given his sheer strength were rather extreme) he was pulled down into the hole with little issue. As soon as he was dragged screaming into the flames they just as suddenly snuffed out, leaving nothing but a hole in the floorboards leading to the charred dirt underneath, and the smell of brimstone and burnt hair hanging in the air.
Everyone stared dumbfounded at the letter as it fluttered to the ground, the echoing silence ringing through the home until Soun collapsed to his knees and made to grab the paper, only to get his hand knocked away by Ranma as she moved, faster than any of them could react, to grab it between a pair of chopsticks and held it away from Soun’s grasping hands.
“Nuh-uh. I’m not too worried about pops, this is probably just another of his schemes coming back to bite him in the ass. There ain't no way I’m about to let anyone else get pulled in by touching the weird magic paper though.”
Nabiki cleared her throat as she stood up, “Well, the panda’s schemes aside, I want to know who to charge for the repairs we need to do yet again. So, since this is magic, I’ll let you choose Ranma, the short old person who’ll grope you the entire time, or the one who’ll try to take you away to China? I’m sure you’ll just be thrilled either way.”
She gave a shrewd look at Ranma, who sighed in response, “Yeah…I ain’t about to deal with Happosai unless I have no choice, guess I gotta go deal with the ghoul. Don’t bother waiting up, this is more important than school anyway.”
Akane shot to her feet, knocking several bowls and plates over as she did and sending Kasumi scrambling to try and catch them.
“Now hold on! I’m not ok with letting you go see that Chinese bimbo and her grandmother without me! Who knows what kind of perverted things you’d get up to! If you’re going I’m going!”
Ranma tensed up, not exactly in the mood to deal with Akane’s particular brand of jealousy and general anger, but before she could speak up Nabiki caught her eye and shook her head slightly, so Ranma backed down and let the middle Tendou sister speak up.
“Now Akane, I really don’t think you’re thinking this through. You, skipping school? I mean, with Ranma, no one cares. He’s-”, both Nabiki and Ranma suppressed a flinch at her knowing use of the wrong pronoun, “-not exactly a model student, but you? People have expectations for you, your teachers, your friends, what about poor Kuno baby?!”
Akane snorted, “What about that delusional idiot?”
Nabiki smirked, “I can see it now, you fail to show up to school, and he starts to try and find out why, and when he realizes no one knows why you're not there he’ll tear up the town looking for you, convinced that you’ve been ‘snatched by that foul sorcerer Saotome!’, and you don’t want that on your conscience do you?”
Akane gritted her teeth, but she couldn’t argue with the fact that that was exactly the kind of thing Kuno would try to pull, “Ok fine, but I still don’t want Ranma going by himself.”
Nabiki rolled her eyes, “Fine, I’ll go with him. It’s not like the teachers or the students are willing to question my absence. I’ll keep an eye on your precious fiance’s purity ok?”
Soun cleared his throat, “Now daughter, I don’t think I approve of either of you-”
Nabiki shot her father a (fake) pleading look, “Oh but Daddy, aren’t you worried about uncle Saotome? You know my grades are good enough, and you can’t possibly want us to leave poor Ranma alone right after such a traumatic incident can you?”
Soun looked away and coughed roughly into his hand, “Well, I mean- that is to say- I just-”, his shoulders slumped in defeat, “Of course daughter, you’re right. I…suppose you should accompany Ranma to see about handling this situation with his father.”
Nabiki smiled sweetly and bounced over to Soun and kissed him on the cheek, “I knew you’d understand Daddy!”
With that she spun around, dropping the sweet little girl act she’d put on for her father, and started to make her way towards the door, grabbing her bag as she went.
Ranma sighed as she folded the paper using a napkin and made her way after her, ignoring the sounds of the rest of the Tendou family attempting to move on with their day after the excitement as she followed Nabiki out the front door, only to get splashed in the face with cold water, courtesy of Nabiki’s open water bottle, as soon as the door closed.
She let out a pleased groan as she felt the transformation take hold and began to wring out her pigtail, “Thanks Nabs, and thanks for cutting off Akane before she could strongarm her way into coming with me. I really don’t think I can deal with the normal chaos after that.”
Nabiki snorted and gave Ranma a wry grin, “Don’t mention it girlfriend. I’ll put it on your tab, now let's get going."
~~~
"Look, all I'm sayin' is that yer ignorin' a potential market! With the amount a' martial artists runnin' around-"
Nabiki sighed as she shot a side eyed glance at Ranma as she effortlessly walked along the top of the fence that Nabiki herself was walking beside, "Ranma, if you want me to take pictures of your fights just ask. You don't have to try and make up a reason. Besides, I'm not stupid enough to try and help out the idiots who seem to get drawn here in your father's wake by selling them the chance to pour over stills of your fights."
Ranma rolled her eyes, "Ain't no amount a' help'll give those tools a chance at beatin' me, you know that Nabs."
"Your staggering ego aside, that doesn't matter. You're my best selling commodity girl! I'm not risking that precious, money making face of yours any more than necessary!"
Ranma slapped a hand to her cheek in mock surprise, "Why Nabs! I didn't think you cared!" She started snickering and jumped to the ground next to Nabiki as they began to approach the Nekohanten, bumping her shoulder against Nabiki's, and giving her a quick peck on the cheek.
"But yeah, I would appreciate some pics of my fights, it's good to look back and check my form. Plus, don't pretend like you ain't gonna enjoy those pictures yourself~"
Nabiki giggled herself and leaned against Ranma as they walked towards the Restaurant, confident enough that the Amazonian women would have kept the area clear enough of Ranma's 'problem's' to indulge a bit. "Yes yes, you're very hot, far be it for me to ever let my girlfriend think otherwise. Now come on, we've got a terrifying old lady to confront."
Ranma choked back a laugh, "You just think that because Ku Lon threatened to turn you into ramen ingredients when you first met her."
"I rest my case! That woman is scary when she gets going!"
Ranma barked out a pleased laugh, simply enjoying the relatively normal interaction they were having, before calming down and letting out a contented hum.
"I'm real glad you decided ta check on me in that changing room back then Nabs…I don't think I've ever been able to be this happy before, even with the flamin' pile of bull and magic my life is."
Nabiki's eyes took on a soft quality that would have shocked anyone who only knew her as the Ice Queen, though she did have to fight down a surge of righteous anger at the, probably unintentional, reminder of just how shit her girlfriend's life was traveling with that panda bastard.
"Geez spitfire, trying to get me all sappy? But yeah…I'm glad too. Even with all the chaos, this is nice. It's so hard to find models who'll willingly work with me around here."
Nabiki's face split into a shit eating grin as Ranma cackled and lightly pushed her away, before she spoke back up. "And I suppose the fact that I got the best girlfriend in the world is a small bonus. Now seriously, as much as I'm sure we'd both be perfectly happy to let your bastard father rot in whatever hole he's found himself in, we should get to figuring this out. Now, after you."
Ranma let out one last chuckle and sighed before cracking her neck and throwing open the door to the restaurant, "Hey Granny! I-SHIT!" and promptly had to duck as a bowl full of hot ramen zipped over her head, followed by shouting from inside.
"Saotome! How dare you come here to try and steal Shan Pu away! I swear, today will be your last-" Suddenly the sound of splashing water and angry quacking replaced Mousse's rant and Shan Pu's voice could be heard.
"Stupid idiot boy lucky did not actually hit Airen-"
"Jiě jiě! It's just me an' Nabs, none of the wrecking Crew!"
"Stupid idiot boy lucky did not hit Xiǎo mèi mèi or would be making roast duck tonight!"
Ranma and Nabiki, deciding things were probably safe at this point, made their way into the restaurant, and both shot equally unimpressed looks at the duck visibly sulking as it was held upside down at arms length by Shan Pu.
Ranma was the first one to speak up, "Still can't get it through his thick head huh?"
At that the duck started to violently twist and flap, enraged quacking filled the air until Shan Pu knocked him roughly on the wall, knocking him unconscious.
"Yeah yeah, I'm just tryna trick Shan Pu and am just hiding behind my curse blah blah blah. Gotta say, he could at least try and get some new material other than the same old transphobic bs. At least he was actually wearing his glasses. If he'd thrown that at Nabs we'd be havin' a very different conversation already."
"Oh, you think I'd need you to avenge me?"
Ranma snorted, not even pretending the ice in Nabiki's voice was actually serious, "Nah, I just know your rates for reparations. That idiot would be in debt till he died."
Nabiki's voice immediately warmed up, "Damn right, but it's good to hear you say it."
Ranma was about to respond, but was interrupted by Shan Pu jumping onto her, causing the two to crash to the ground in a giggling heap.
"Xiǎo mèi mèi! Is always good to see you, but what brings you here today? Doesn't Xiǎo mèi mèi and her Airen have school?"
Both Ranma and Nabiki started spluttering, "We're just dating-" "We ain't ready for that-"
Shan Pu broke down into more giggles as she and Ranma stood back up, "Yes yes, Shan Pu know, but teasing Xiǎo mèi mèi and shrewd girl too fun not to! But teasing aside, why you two here during school day?"
Ranma and Nabiki sighed as they shot each other wry looks before pulling out a pair of chairs and sitting down at a table, Ranma pulling out the folded up scroll, still holding it with a napkin, and waving it in the air. "We actually needed to ask Granny about this thing. Pops read it this mornin' an'-"
There was a blur followed by a wooden thunk and suddenly Ranma found her hand empty, the scroll now in the hands of a scowling Ku Lon, who was balancing perfectly on top of her staff and glaring at the scroll as if it had offended her personally. After a brief moment she turned her gaze on Ranma, the gravity of her expression enough to wipe any traces of joviality from the teens in the room.
"Tell me now adopted granddaughter, just how you found yourself in possession of an invitation to the Dark Tournament?"