Your reaction time hadn’t slowed since your SHIELD days.
All of the guards had turned on your group. They started shooting, but Bucky threw you and Sam behind him as he stopped the bullets with his metal arm. He didn’t care for Zemo, who was hiding behind the chair and shooting at the guards. How the hell did he get a gun, you thought.
You wasted no time in disarming your attackers. Bucky tried to keep you close for protection, but with him on defense, taking down the guards was taking even more time, which you all didn’t have. Zemo had slipped you a knife while simultaneously shooting and you threw it at one of the men. It landed above his collarbone. He screamed and fell to the floor. Sam decided to take his gun and knock out the rest of the guards. Bucky helped him with that as Zemo grabbed your hand.
His eyes were full of concern as he analyzed your face. “Bist du in ordnung, liebe?” He spoke softly and asking if you were alright, obviously not referring to the fight.
“I’m okay,” you lied.
“I would never take advantage of you,” he whispered and squeezed your hand. “I am so sorry I did that to you.”
You adverted your eyes, “we didn’t have much of a choice.”
He grabbed your chin and tilted it upwards, forcing you to look at him as he spoke. “I will kill all of these men if it would make you feel even slightly better.”
You gasped and shook your head. At least you know he was being sincere. He barely knew you, but he also was a man of his word. His morals were questionable, but at least they were consistent. And as always, he was being a gentleman. Why did someone who hurt your friends have to be so nice?
“As you wish, liebling.” He released your chin and turned to Sam and Bucky, who had finished disarming all of the guards. “We have a real problem now. Leave the weapons and follow my lead.”
Sam and Bucky hesitated but gave one look to each other and dropped the assault rifles and took off with you and Zemo leading. As you all ran, cell phones started chiming and all eyes turned to your group.
“There’s a bounty on us now,” Zemo explained and picked up the pace.
Suddenly, three masked people emerged and started shooting. You watched as Bucky tried to grab you, but Zemo beat him to it. He pulled you into an alley while Sam and Bucky went down another one. Seeing Bucky and Sam as the immediate threat, none of the attackers went after you and Zemo.
“Over here,” Zemo whispered and directed you into an alcove. The light was broken, so you were shrouded in darkness. Footsteps sounded in the distance. You were about to be discovered.
“Come close,” Zemo told you and pulled a gun out of his coat pocket. “I will protect you.”
You scoffed quietly, “I’m probably a better shot than you.”
“I doubt it, get over here.”
You listened to his orders and leaned close to him. His proximity was comforting because you would be lying if you said you weren’t scared right now. Your heart thumped in your chest. Zemo pulled you even closer.
The footsteps became louder, but a gunshot sounded, effectively cutting them off.
“We seem to have a guardian angel,” Zemo whispered into your hair, but still holding you. Neither of you moved because you didn’t know what was waiting for you outside of the alcove.
You didn’t have to move from your spot because someone emerged in front of your hiding spot.
“Drop it Zemo.”
Sam and Bucky materialized behind the hooded figure with equally confused looks. Zemo pushed you over to them and held his hands up in surrender. As you moved closer you could make out the features of the cloaked person.
“Sharon,” you questioned.
“Well, this is too perfect,” she rolled her eyes and removed the hood from her head. The reveal confirmed your thoughts. Sharon Carter was right in front of you. You interacted a couple of times during your SHIELD days, but never went on missions together.
“You cost me everything,” Sharon said and pressed the gun further to Zemo’s chest.
Bucky gave you a once-over, his eyes silently asking if you were okay. You nodded in response. You were okay, just a little shocked that Sharon Carter was here, in Madripoor.
“Sharon, wait,” Sam spoke and held up his hands. “Someone recreated the super soldier serum and Zemo had a lead.”
She didn’t waver. “That explains why you guys are here and why Selby is dead.”
Bucky gave her a puzzled look, “so what are you doing here.”
She scoffed, “I stole Steve’s shield, remember?” She pointed her gun at Sam. “I also stole the wings for your ass so you could save his ass from his ass.” She pointed the gun then at Bucky before landed back on Zemo. “Not sure how you roped our dear old friend here into helping you.” That line was directed at you. You were unemployed during the fight between The Avengers, but once you heard Sam and Steve were on the run, you had no qualms about helping them hide. You didn’t belong to an organization anymore. Nobody had a claim on you.
“I didn’t have The Avengers to back me up,” she said, venom in her voice when mentioning The Avengers. “So, I’m off the grid in Madripoor.” She had lowered her gun, but still looked ready to kill Zemo at any moment.
“Hey, don’t blow smoke at me, I was on the run too.” Sam stepped closer.
“Was. Is. Big difference. I can’t speak to my family anymore. My father doesn’t even know where I am.”
“Listen,” Bucky stepped in front of Zemo and beside Sam. That left you right next to him. You two exchanged a look. Something seemed off about Sharon. Bucky got a pardon, and surely, she heard the news about that. She could have come back to the states and easily gotten a pardon. Zemo seemed to be thinking the same thing.
“We need your help,” Bucky said to Sharon, which she promptly laughed at.
“Of course,” she put a hand up to her head and sighed. “I have a place in High Town that you can be safe at for a while.”
You all thanked her and followed her out of the alley, but she spun around quickly and pointed her gun again at Zemo. “This isn’t over,” was all she said before continuing on.
-
“Looks like breaking all of those laws has treated you well,” Sam joked as you all entered Sharon’s penthouse. It was very luxurious, with soft lighting and high-end furniture. There were also many pieces of artwork displayed in glass containers. How did she get all of this?
Sam, Sharon, and Zemo started discussing fake artwork while you stood off to the side alone, until Bucky approached you.
“Can we talk,” he asked.
You nodded and he reached for your hand to guide you to one of the rooms off of a hallway. The door opened to reveal a bed with no sheets on it. It was just a queen-sized mattress on a bed frame. The only other furniture in the room was a loveseat and a dresser. The room looked remarkably plain compared to the rest of Sharon’s place.
You sat with him on the loveseat and turned to face him, his hand still holding yours. Bucky looked almost embarrassed and had his head pointed downwards, focusing on your hands. You absentmindedly looked at the dark stain on his pants, where pre-cum had leaked earlier during your make-out session. Luckily, Bucky didn’t seem to notice your staring.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered while still looking down. “I am so sorry you had to do that. I am so sorry I didn’t do anything to stop it.”
“Bucky look at me,” you said, and he looked down at you with sad eyes. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“I should have done something,” his voice was soft, he felt guilty. “I let you be touched by him, and I didn’t do anything. I just let it go on further and further until he was violating you.”
“We didn’t have a choice,” you repeated for the second time that night. “We could have been killed.”
“I should have stopped them though. I should have ripped Zemo away from you.”
He seemed to be more concerned with the fact that Zemo had his hands on you. “We had a part to play,” you assured him. “We couldn’t blow our cover.”
“Yes, but we both took advantage of you,” he reminded you.
“I’m okay,” you lied. “Mostly embarrassed more that anything.” That part was at least true.
He furrowed his brows. “Why are you embarrassed?”
You laughed, “because I was being fingered in front of my closest friends and I was also making-out with my best friend. You all saw an intimate side of me, so yeah, I’m embarrassed.”
“Oh,” was all he said as he rubbed circles with his thumb on your hand.
“Oh?” You questioned him.
“It was the thing you did at the very end,” he adverted his eyes again. “The thing you did with him.”
“With Zemo,” you asked.
He gulped, “erm, yeah, with Zemo.”
You raised an eyebrow, “what about it?”
“It’s just that um,” he let go of your hands and started fiddling with his own. “When everything was over you um, sucked on his fingers, and I was wondering what that was about.”
“Oh,” your cheeks turned red, and you looked down as well. “It was just a part of the plan to make our act believable.” The lie flowed smoothly off your tongue. Secretly, you were overcome with lust and Zemo did a good job of pleasuring you. You had no idea what came over you in that moment, but you wanted to turn him on as well for some odd reason. You wanted him to be attracted to you. It was most likely the heat of the moment. You hadn’t had a good orgasm in a long time, you became high off of it and you weren’t really yourself. Yeah, that was it.
“Oh, okay, good,” Bucky murmured and looked at you again. His eyes were still sad. You put a hand to his cheek and regarded him softly.
“I am going to be okay. Stop blaming yourself. It was for the good of the mission.”
He nodded against your cheek and you both heard the door open and pulled away quickly.
“Did I interrupt something,” Zemo said smugly.
You gave him an annoyed look and matched his intense gaze. You were not going to fall prey to his mind games.
“Miss. Carter needs us,” he finally said and closed the door, but not without a wink.
-
“I am tired of being dressed up,” you groaned as Sharon handed you another dress. This one was at least longer, but it seemed to hug your body more so than the previous dress, and it showed more cleavage. At least you could carry your thigh knife harness. You changed into the dark purple dress behind a divider and then put on the stiletto heels Sharon supplied for you. You stepped out and was met with a nod of approval from Sharon, a thumbs-up from Sam, Bucky not so subtly checking you out, and Zemo regarding you with a concerned stare. Not the reaction you were hoping for, but you didn’t ponder on it for long before he gestured for you to join him at the bar.
“You don’t approve of my outfit,” you asked once you joined him. He pulled out a chair for you to sit and he sat on the barstool next you.
“Oh, that’s not it at all.” He poured you a shot of vodka and passed it over to you. “I think you look absolutely stunning, Schatz.”
You were in the middle of downing your shot but choked on it because of his comment. He lightly patted your back as you coughed, his hands were soft and warm against the bare skin of your back. It gave you goosebumps when you finally stopped coughing and he left his hand there.
“Are you okay, Liebe,” he leaned closer to you in his chair.
You nodded and turned to face him. “You have to stop with the pet names. They keep catching me off guard.”
He removed his hand from your back. “I am sorry if I have made you uncomfortable.”
So many apologies tonight, you thought. “It’s not that. If it is any consolation, I strangely feel comfortable with you. You have proven yourself to be quite the gentleman, but I am still pissed that you made Bucky relive his trauma.”
“I got us information,” he shrugged and leaned in close, his breath tickling your ear. “Didn’t I, schöne?”
You pretended not to care about his closeness and turned to whisper in his ear. “If you hurt Bucky one more time, I will fucking kill you.”
He chuckled and pulled away. “I believe you will deliver on that promise, but I am done with games right now. You can all go back to being yourselves. You can stop pretending to be my date and go back into James’ arms.”
You gave him a perplexed look, “what are you talking about?”
“Look at James right now,” he said and you quickly flitted your eyes over to him. He was sitting with his arms crossed, glaring at you and Zemo.
You raised your eyebrows at Zemo. “So? He is just mad I am talking to a criminal, that’s all.”
“Mein Lieber,” he sighed softly. “Do I have permission to touch you? Nothing inappropriate, just a demonstration to show you what I am seeing in James?”
You nodded and Zemo tsked. “Use your words, Schatz.”
“Yes,” you said. Zemo took one hand and placed it on your waist and the other hand was on your cheek, drawing you closer. Your faces were to close together, any sudden movement would cause your lips to brush, and you knew exactly what those lips could do. How soft they were, how hungry they were, how amazing they were.
“Look over at him,” Zemo whispered. You saw him out of the corner of your eye. He looked pissed off, annoyed, and sad all at the same time. Sam and Sharon were out of the room, probably somewhere talking about Sharon’s pardon. It was only you, Zemo, and Bucky.
“Is he not jealous,” Zemo asked and moved away, only slightly. He was right, but you didn’t want to admit it. How did you not see this? Bucky was certainly attractive, but you could not imagine pursuing a relationship with him. He was your friend, nothing more.
“But how,” you breathed, unable to take your eyes off of Zemo’s amber colored ones.
He smiled and took his hand off of your cheek and waist, you were both still very close to each other. “You are beautiful, boginja.” You tried not to react to him calling you the equivalent of a goddess in Sokovian. “Anybody would be lucky to have you. You have so many remarkable qualities that go beyond your beauty.”
You hardly noticed Bucky coming to approach you and Zemo until he cleared his throat. “Back off, Zemo.”
You both pulled away and you looked away from Bucky, unable to face him after Zemo’s observation.
“I was never trying to take advantage of them,” Zemo replied smoothly. You glanced at him, and he looked smug at Bucky’s jealously.
“It sure didn’t look like it back at Selby’s,” Bucky grabbed Zemo’s shirt and pulled him off of the barstool.
“Bucky stop,” you groaned, but still remaining in your seat. Nothing wrong with Bucky manhandling Zemo for a bit, but he couldn’t blame him for something that was life or death. “We all had no choice, okay?”
Bucky still didn’t drop Zemo, and somehow the man was not scared at all. “Then why was he touching you?”
“I was threatening him,” you threw your hands up, already tired of Bucky being jealous. “I said I was going to kill him if he messed with you.”
Bucky promptly dropped Zemo after your statement, believing the half-lie. “Watch your step, Zemo.”
Bucky moved back to his seat across the room and Zemo stood back up and dusted himself off. Bucky was still shooting daggers to Zemo as he climbed back onto his stool, giving you an ‘I-told-you-so’ look.
You were tired of men at this point and ventured off to the balcony outside. It was a beautiful view overlooking the city, but you were mostly just frustrated: sexually and mentally. You hated that Bucky had a thing for you. It could ruin your friendship if things ended badly. Bucky just wasn’t your type. He was too overprotective in a brotherly way.
On the other hand, you were just sexually frustrated because of how you had gotten off in Selby’s lounge. It was voyeurism, but you were forced into it. It was scary at first, but Zemo has done a great job at relaxing you and making you enjoy the moment. You felt disgusted with yourself at the thought. It was a life-or-death scenario, and you were reminiscing on Zemo’s kisses, his touch, the way his fingers felt inside of-
Nope, not thinking about that again.
You had just a little bit of time before the guests started showing up. Sharon said that one of her clients has information, but he won’t be here until tomorrow night’s party. This one was for making money. Your group just had to blend in with the crowd, look like you belong. Well, if you didn’t have to worry about the super soldier serum tonight, then there was nothing wrong with enjoying yourself. AKA, getting fucked up.
You went back inside and found only Zemo in the room, still sitting at the bar.
“Pour me two shots, something strong,” you demanded.
“Are you sure about that,” Zemo asked.
You gave him an annoyed look, “I didn’t ask for you to question me. Pour the fucking shots.”
“As you wish, princeza.” He poured you a shot of a dark liquid and handed both glasses to you. You lifted both to your lips and downed them both at the same time, relishing in the burn that proceeded to slide down your throat. Already, you were feeling buzzed from your earlier shot. Got to love antidepressants and their ability to fuck with your alcohol tolerance.
Zemo regarded you with concern. “I don’t think you are okay. You need to slow down.”
That annoyed you because he was the reason you were drinking so heavily. You were just slightly above eye level with him because he was sitting in the stool. You reached forward to grab his coat with both hands. The gesture brought his face just right in front of yours with you looking down on him. “What are you going to do about it, Baron?”
He seemed intrigued with you, his lips curling into a smirk. “I will just have to watch you all night.”
“Enjoy the show them,” you remarked and released him. You were going to go join the party, but you decided to finish off Zemo’s whiskey before leaving the room.
At your absence, the Baron watch you strut out the door, enjoying the newfound attitude in you. He also had to admit that he enjoyed you bossing him around. It was very attractive, but your drinking concerned him. He knew you were still upset about what happened with Selby, and drinking was not a good way to cope with that. So, just as he said he would, he was going to keep an eye on you. And yeah, he might also enjoy the show.
-
You probably drank way too much at this point, and the night was just getting started. People danced all around you, their sweaty bodies grinding against one another. Flashing lights illuminated the dance floor, capturing glimpses of the artwork Sharon was selling. It was fun. Ever since The Blip, you haven’t been able to relax and enjoy yourself. You were busy helping others, no time for parties. A couple hook-ups here and there, but no time to really enjoy yourself. They were just people to do something with. You might end up in someone’s room tonight. Who knows? You weren’t planning on it, but the night might lead to it. You would just have to see.
You wanted to dance with someone, but nobody looked like they were worth your time. These people were sloppy, they didn’t know how to interact with your body and respond to your needs. There might be one person who could do that. . .
You spotted him across the room, sipping more whiskey and eyes scanning the room. His eyes landed on you, and he gave you a smile. You wondered if he could dance.
You approached him, trying to appear as sexy as possible, but the goddamn stilettos and your buzzing brain messed that up. You stumbled in front of him, but his hands quickly reached out to steady you as you collapsed by his chest. He was holding you up as you looked at him with sex eyes. You just wanted to dance.
“Come dance with me,” you smiled and stood back up, his grip loosened on your forearms, so you used the opportunity to put his hands on your hips and then yours around his neck. You snaked your fingers through his hair, disturbing the carefully styled look he had.
He considered it, just momentarily before shaking his head. “You’re drunk, Schatz.”
You gave him a confused look, “so? I just want to dance.”
He regarded you fondly and you took the chance to kiss him, catching him off guard. He paused for a moment, but then moved his lips against yours. He was going slow, his hands slowly moving up to cup your face before pulling away suddenly. You were appalled at his movement. Why did he pull away?
“I would love to, Liebling, but you are not in the right state of mind to know what you want,” he took your hands off of him and removed his hands from your hips.
“But I know I want to,” the words were pouring out and you couldn’t stop. “I want you to do much more than finger me.”
You seemed to have surprised him. He gave you a sad look before responding, “I can’t, and I won’t. I’m sorry. If you remember this in the morning, you will thank me.” He kissed your forehead before stepping back from you.
You just wanted to be touched, or to touch someone. It had been so long. Selby’s was just a taste of what you could have. You wanted it badly.
“Fuck you, Baron. I know someone who can’t turn me down.”
He tried to go after you, but you had quickly dipped in between the crowds, out of sight from him. He was the king of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and he didn’t want to see you fall prey to them. Plus, it was just wrong for him to touch you because he knew you would regret it and you were drunk. He said he was going to watch over you, but the increasingly growing crowd was making that harder to do.
On the other side of the room, you found Bucky and Sam at the bar, casually drinking, and laughing about something. You wiped the disappointment off of your face before approaching them.
“Hey hot stuff,” Sam joked with you. “Have you been enjoying yourself. I saw your dancing earlier.”
You gave them both a dazzling smile and laughed. “I have yet to see your moves, Samuel.”
“Not my type of music,” Sam replied. He was right, you have never seen Sam dance to EDM music, which is what was all that was playing tonight.
“Hmm,” you mused and leaned closer to Bucky. “Do you dance?”
A quick look at Sam’s face told you that he knew about Bucky’s crush on you. It explains why he kept trying to push you as Bucky’s date for your undercover characters. Those assholes, you thought.
“I used to, but that was to forties music.” He put an arm around you and pulled you in closer, enjoying your flirtatious attitude.
You looked up at him with hooded eyes and bit your lip. “The type of dancing I want to do is a little more,” you paused to think of the right word, “sensual.”
Bucky was very collected, but you could tell within his eyes that he was blown away by your change in demeanor. Sam didn’t bother to hide the surprise on his face. He was happy for Bucky, and you just barely caught the glimpse of a thumbs-up from Sam in your peripheral.
“Don’t worry,” you winked and grabbed his hand, leading him to the dance floor. “Just follow my lead.”
You found yourself positioned in exactly where you wanted to be. The Baron was easy to find, especially with his long coat. You moved yourself into his line of sight and danced with Bucky to the beat of the music. You were both doing your own thing, but you were very close together. Unfortunately, Zemo was not looking at you. He was trying to find you in the crowd. Slowly, his eyes found yours. You scowled at him before turned around and pulling Bucky close to you. He was shocked, but you led him to put his hands on your waist while you moved your ass against his crotch. Maybe it was the fact that Bucky used to be a heartbreaker eighty years ago that he went along with your movements smoothly. He grinded up against you. You could feel Zemo’s eyes burning into you. A quick look at him showed that he was exasperated. You didn’t want him to be upset because you were being reckless, you wanted him to be jealous. Your plan wasn’t working.
You turned around and pulled the same move you did on Zemo, this time there was no stopping. Bucky was kissing you and you opened your lips to let his tongue slip into your mouth. The kiss was heating up and the look on Zemo’s face was shock and disappointment. He assumed it wouldn’t escalate any further. Bucky was a good guy who wouldn’t do anything you didn’t want to do.
The only problem was that Bucky didn’t know you had been drinking heavily. He knew you were buzzing; he knew that much from the taste of alcohol on your lips, but he never saw you drinking except with Zemo.
You didn’t like that Zemo was not displaying jealousy, so you decided to escalate things further. You whispered for Bucky to follow you and you disappeared through the crowd. Zemo could not find you, which only troubled him further.
You weren’t exactly sure where you were going, but you wanted to be somewhere private. You opened a door in one of the many hallways and found a place to carry out your activities. It appeared to be a medium sized closet full of hats on shelves. It had plenty of room for you to drop to your knees and for Bucky to lean against the wall.
“What are you doing,” he asked.
You placed a hand on his bulge, it twitched underneath your touch. “I want to please you, if you will let me.”
“Yes, but are you sure?” He asked and ran a hand through your hair before placing it on your cheek.
You smiled up at him. “Yes, I’m sure.”
He nodded and you wasted no time in undoing his belt and pushing down his jeans and boxers. His dick was unveiled to you. It was really long and had an average sized girth. You weren’t sure if you could reach all the way down to the base of his dick. Still, you were going to put on a show. You wanted someone to be proud of you and praise you like Zemo did back at Selby’s.
You took his dick in your hand and used your tongue to slowly trace the vein underneath his shaft. He moaned slightly and your touch, but he wasn’t watching you. He had his eyes closed.
“Look at me,” you demanded. He shifted his gaze downward to you. You made eye contact with him as you gathered up more spit in your mouth. You started with the tip and licked around it softly, making Bucky bite his lip. He was still looking at you, but he was afraid of touching you.
“You can be rough with me,” you told him after you finished sucking on his tip. “I don’t mind. Don’t be afraid to hurt me a little. I like it.” You winked and started inching your way down his cock. Your lips wrapped around him perfectly and his tightened grip on your hair meant you were definitely having an impact on him. You made your way to the base of his cock and moved it in and out of your mouth, slowly though. You wanted it to last, but you weren’t sure if Bucky could continue for much longer, so you took him by surprised and grabbed his hips. You throat-fucked yourself by moving his hips until he caught on and started doing it himself. Tears sprung in your eyes as his long dick touched the back of your throat. He was grunting and moaning loudly, which was music to your ears. You knew he was going to finish soon, but you didn’t know where he wanted to cum at. Some liked it on the face or in the mouth. You weren’t sure where Bucky fit into this category.
He slightly pouted when you detached yourself from his dick, but he let out a groan when your mouth inhaled his balls. You hollowed out your cheeks and sucked on them while pumping your hand around his dick. You picked up the pace of your hand and moved on to the other ball.
“Fuck,” he breathed. “Open your mouth.”
You continued giving him a hand job as he came into your mouth. You slowed down while the remainder of cum fell onto your tongue. You eagerly swallowed it, enjoying the salty taste. Bucky bent down next to you on the floor and used the sleeve of his jacket to wipe the spit from your mouth.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “Now, I should probably return the favor.”
You blinked, still dazed from the alcohol and lust. “Yes, but not here.”
You stood up and he took your hand is his and opened the door for you. You both turned to step out of the doorway and met Zemo’s eyes from the end of the hallway.
“James,” Zemo shouted and stormed up to the two of you. “What did you do?”
“None of your business,” Bucky jabbed a finger at him.
“It may not be my business,” he glanced over at you and your disheveled hair. His heart sank. “She’s drunk.”
Bucky turned to look at you. “I only saw her drink with you.”
Zemo laughed, but it was devoid of emotion. “They have been drinking all night and trying to hide it.”
Bucky let go of your hand and ran a hand through his hair, “I’m sorry,” he said to you. “I didn’t know. I asked for consent, but had I known you were intoxicated. . .” He trailed off and looked back at you. “My apologies are probably meaningless right now; I will talk to you in the morning.” He looked at Zemo once more before continuing off in the other direction. His absence left you alone with Zemo.
“Maybe next time you will dance with me,” you shrugged and turned to go back to the party, but Zemo stopped you by grabbing your arm.
“You aren’t going anywhere. You’re coming with me.” Zemo pulled you close to him and led you off to another one of Sharon’s balconies. This one overlooked the city as well, but it had a cushioned bench and chair.
You raised an eyebrow at him, “are you going to punish me?”
He didn’t respond to your teasing comment, but instead gestured for you to sit on the bench with him.
“Liebling,” he sighed, “you are not okay. We need to talk about what happened.”
You could feel the control of your words start to slowly come back to you, but your mind wasn’t the sharpest. “I gave Bucky a blow job, that’s it.”
He raised his eyebrows at your admission but shook his head. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Listen, Baron, I am perfectly fine,” you sunk down into the cushions and tilted your head back against the bench. You didn’t want to talk about your emotions.
“Look at me, Schatz,” he told you. You reluctantly listened to him. His eyes were glimmering with concern. “Tell me the truth. Tell me why you are upset.”
The truth was that you were not entirely fine. The whole situation gave you a lack of control. You just wanted to seize the opportunity back. If you could choose who you wanted to be with and what you wanted to do with them then maybe you could gain back control.
Only, you were starting to feel less in control.
You thought that you were choosing to be with Zemo and then when that didn’t work out you tried to be in control of the situation with Bucky. The issue was that drunk you wasn’t entirely you. Drunk you was bolder. Drunk you had a foggy brain; your decisions were not completely yours.
Your sobering mind was starting to regret a few of your ‘choices’ tonight.
“I just wanted to feel in control again,” you whispered, not sure if it was loud enough for him to hear. A couple of tears escaped from your eyes. “It wasn’t just at the bar, but ever since my SHIELD days I have felt that every decision was being dictated by someone other than me. I was reacting, not deciding. My life has been tactical ever since The Blip. I don’t want to have any other choice; I want to be able to choose. I just want to live.” You rubbed your arms around yourself. It wasn’t too cold, but the alcohol flush was starting to wear off, so you weren’t warm anymore in your skimpy dress.
“Well, I am going to give you a couple of choices.” He started to shed his coat and held it in his arms. “You can go back to the party, though it probably won’t last longer. You can also go to bed. Or you can take my coat and I can either leave you alone or continue to talk to you.”
“Can I make a different choice than the ones provided,” you inquired.
He gave you a half smile. “Of course. I think you are finally sobering up.”
You reached forward to grab his coat and put it around you. It was bigger on you, but it provided the warmth you so desperately craved.
“Can you hold me,” you asked, tears still slipping down your cheeks.
He nodded and held out his arms to you. You went right into them, your head laying on his chest and arms wrapped around his torso. He smoothed down your hair as a comfort gesture and told you sweet phrases in German. It was nice to be held and comforted that more tears spilled. He noticed them and tilted your head up to look at him. He wiped the tears from your cheeks and eyes.
You laughed quietly, “how did I end up being comforted by a criminal?”
He gave you a smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I have a lot of negative attachments to my name based on my actions. I know I hurt people, but I don’t regret what I had to do. I only regret hurting innocent people. I am a lot more than meets the eye.”
You placed your head back down, feeling sleepy from all of the alcohol you had drank. Your eyes fluttered, but slowly started to close more.
“Let’s go to your room, Liebling.” He picked you up bridal style and carried you over to a room Sharon had set aside. The party had died down, and Sharon was finishing up with last minute customers. She gave you and Zemo a once-over but decided to leave matters alone. Zemo continued down the hallway where you, Bucky, Sam, and him were staying. His room was across from yours. He took you to your room and laid you down on the bed. He made sure the blankets covered you before deciding to leave. You were practically asleep by the time he finished getting you into bed.
“Sleep well, princeza.”