Can't ever compare (Robin) ANGST
Loves weird.
The conclusion Robin came up with growing up that stuck in adulthood is that love is weird and cruel in its own ways. She's seen from the people she's traveled with- encountered that love ends terribly for most people.
As well as end wonderfully.
Robin didn't ever think she'd feel that - be in love with anyone in such a way. Until she met you. A member of the crew who joined before her. Who stayed close to her to try and make her as comfortable as possible. The only one who stayed in the library with her to read with her. Smiling fondly at the memories you both held there. How she would read you books, and you'd fall asleep on her half way through- surprisingly never upset or uncomfortable. Knowing what she knows now maybe that was a sign.
Robin is smart. The smartest one in the whole crew, but how could someone know the exact feeling they held for another if they never felt it before. She never knew why she felt sad without you near her. How empty the library was when you weren't there beside her. Robin couldn't figure out why she got so uncomfortable when someone flirted with you- she guessed it was cause you're her best friend. Nami would snicker at the comments she'd make about the person like she knew something
Once she realized the thing she felt for you was love. She stayed by yourside more- helped out more. Did whatever she could to catch your attention- cause love makes you do things you wouldn't normally do before. Before Robin wouldn't care if anyone paid attention to what she could do so long as they wouldn't leave her. But this time- she wanted you to see what she could do. See how well she can do it- deep down, she guesses this part stems from her fear of being abandoned yet again. She feared if you left it would hurt much worse.
She knew you'd never do such a thing. You helped her comforted her when she dreamt of that place-
-
Robin held your shirt in a tight hold, curling into you- sobbing uncontrollably. Rubbing her back gently as she buried her face into your neck "please-" her voice slurred- hoarse from her cries. "Please don't leave me." Rocking her back and forth on the bed gently she kept mumbling the word 'please' over and over again
"I won't leave you, Robin. Not now, not ever." You whispered in her hair. Your heart breaking from the noise of relief Robin made once you said that. How she relaxed more in your arms before she finally fell asleep.
-
Robin knew you'd come back if you had no choice but to leave. Like now when Luffy wanted you to come with to some island. Saying he wanted to introduce you to a friend of his- when anyone asked, Luffy just smiled and said "Its a surpise!"
The weeks you were gone were torture. Robin felt weird being anywhere on the Sunny. In the little library, they had felt empty without you there - like something or someone was missing. Nami took to teasing her every now and again, reminding her, "They'll be back soon- don't worry," and grin amused when Robin would look towards the door to the kitchen. Like she's expecting you to push through the door
When you finally came back- you weren't alone. You and Luffy were with someone new. Nami looked at her in almost a pity look- Robin cleared her throat and introduced herself.
Weeks turned into months. Robin grew worried - the pit in her stomach growing at an unnerving feeling. Were you even coming back? She shook that thought away as soon as it came. You would come back. You promised her. You promised you wouldn't leave her - sure maybe you didn't mean it in the way she wanted, but she happy to play the best friend anytime.
Robin hummed as she put her book down- looking out the small window in her room. Maybe she does have a chance? Maybe if she tells you whenever you come back how she feels. How she really feels. Maybe. Just maybe you'll feel the same
Robin's not blind. She knows that look in your eyes- she knows all too well. It's the same look she gives you. The lovestruck look. The heartache was worse than knowing it was a possibility. Possible you may love her back. But when you look at her that way?
How could Robin compare to Boa Hancock? The one everyone wants? The most gorgeous woman ever. It's no wonder she caught your attention- even though it wasn't the only thing that really caught you. It was everything about her. The way you talked about her- how kind she is to you- how funny she is.
She always bit back her words, "What's so great about her?" In jealousy. How can she be jealous? She never had a chance in the first place. You never loved her anyway - not the way she loves you at least.
She'll keep her feelings down. Keep them hidden. Robin rather you in her life then actually lose you cause this isn't your fault. This isn't her fault either.
No one can control who they love, not matter how much they'll try.
She just wants you to be happy. Even if it's not with her