The Road To Recovery
Chapter 1:
The next day was chaos. Bucky had been released from the hospital and was doing well. They determined the next best thing was to take him to the cabin. Evelyn had gone ahead and was busy making sure the place was ready for him to arrive.
She busied herself with cleaning every nook and cranny for the place. It started out in the bedroom that Bucky would be staying at. Then she moved to her bedroom. Last but not least, she tackled the common area and the kitchen and was done right in time for Bucky his Dora Milage escort to arrive.
Once Bucky was in the cabin, the Dora left leaving Bucky and Evelyn alone together. Evelyn watched as Bucky checked out the place. Obviously his programming and years of training taking over, forcing him to check it over with a fine tooth comb. She surmised he was checking for traps, cameras, anything that would become a threat.
Bucky finally settled down and joined her on the couch. He seemed tense, nervous even. She counted it as a blessing that he remembered her. He could have totally forgotten during his time in the cryo chamber. But she thought she would test the waters and see if that was the case.
“How much do you remember before getting into the cryogenic tube?” She looked over at him and saw how tense he got.
“I’m not sure I want to talk about that right now.” She saw his fingers twitch and then meticulously run them through his long hair. Evelyn inwardly chuckled, remembering a conversation she had with Shuri debating on how handsome he looked with long hair versus short hair.
Though her musings were cut short when she saw his eyes land on her. Bucky’s wary expression forced her to remind herself that he never felt safe. Or he was actively trying to remind himself that he was.
“Bucky, I was there. I know what the Baron did to you. I know you killed my grandparents. I just wanted to hear from your own lips what you remembered.” Evelyn saw a cringe come from his face. This is why he didn’t want to talk about it. The memories were fresh and he hated himself for everything. Bucky even blamed himself for what happened to him with the Baron, “Anyway, lets lighten the mood. I’ve got something to help you relax.”
Evelyn quickly retreated into her bedroom and retrieved four books, all hardback in mint condition. She walked back out and handed them to him.
“I found these and immediately thought of you. I hope that you enjoy them.”
They were first edition Lord of the Rings and Hobbit books. Bucky had been alive when The Hobbit had come out and she found out from Steve that he was a really big fan of the first one. He would have probably read the others had his tragic accident not ended his good life so abruptly.
Evelyn smiled at the way she saw Bucky react to the books. He looked like a little kid again. Wide eyed and excited about life. Not the jaded, horrified young man that seemed to always show his face to her.
A knock at the door had Evelyn’s head suddenly twist in a swivel. She hadn’t expected anyone to show up so soon.
“I’m going to go check to see who this is. Start reading those books and I’ll be back.”
Satisfied Bucky had heard her, Evelyn swiftly walked toward the door. She smiled when she saw Shuri on the other side of it smiling widely.
“Hello, Evelyn. How are you?”
“I’m alright. Trying to persuade Mr. Skittish in there to relax.”
Shuri laughed out loud.
“For as long as I’ve known Sergeant Barnes, he’s always been skittish.” Shuri laughed a little bit more and then grew serious, “But I really understand where he’s coming from. It’s not every day where you’re constantly chased like an animal.”
I vocalized my agreement.
“I feel so sorry for him. I’ve only known him for a little while, but it always seems like he’s just asking for everyone to leave him alone.”
“Hopefully, when we finish freeing him from those words, he’ll finally be able to feel some sort of peace.”
“Speaking of that, what’s the next step?” Evelyn nodded toward Shuri who had been the instrumental factor in the process of freeing Bucky from all the programming.
“They next step is to test and see if the deprograming worked. That means we have to say the words around him and see if he reacts like before.”
Evelyn let out a sharp breath.
“That’s what’s next..Whew!” It hit her like a ton of bricks. This was a big thing for Bucky. In order to be sure he was free, he needed to undergo this, “How soon will that happen?”
“Tonight. That’s what I came here to tell you. Ayo will come and escort you and Sergeant Barnes to a remote location. She knows the words and will recite them. If it works, then we’ll know. If not, she will report back to me and we’ll figure out what else we need to do to fix that.”
Evelyn nodded and sighed nervously.
“We can’t just throw all this on him so soon. It will only make him more tense.” Evelyn started tapping her foot out of nervousness. “Are you sure that right now is the best time to do this?”
“Unfortunately, yes. Since his mind is the most clear than it has been since ehe came to us, this is the best time. We can’t allow the fear and nerves to overcome him again. If we don’t do it now, he might not ever be ready to do it in the future.” Shuri walked a bit closer and placed a hand on her arm, “I know exactly what he’s been through. Steve told us everything he knew when he came here as did Sergeant Barnes. We know what we’re doing. Besides, I was the one to start the process of getting the Winter Soldier programming tut of his head. I was the one who convinced my brother to give him safe refuge here. Please let us do this.”
Evelyn looked a bit frustrated toward Shuri. She knew that they knew, but it didn’t make her feel better. In fact, it just frustrated her more. But she let it go and just ran a hand down her face.
“Fine! I’ll let him know. But don’t tell you I didn’t warn you if this goes south.”
Evelyn walked inside not caring that she left Shuri outside alone. She walked into the common area and smiled when she saw that Bucky had gotten comfortable on the couch and was actively reading The Hobbit, oblivious to everything going on around him. Evelyn noticed he only looked up when he felt the depression of the couch when she sat down right at his feet.
“Hey.” He said as he marked his spot and closed the book, “Is everything alright?”
“No..” She took a deep breath and debated on telling him a lie. She thought nothing more of that when it occurred to her that she would lose Bucky’s trust if she did that. He had probably been lied to most of his life. She was sure she didn’t want to be the reason for him not to trust in others again, “Shuri just came by. She wanted me to let you know that they are going to test the trigger words out on you tonight to see if the deprograming worked.”
Evelyn notice that Bucky’s breaths became heavier and she could see that he started to tremble just a bit more than normal. He looked confused, apprehensive and scared all at the same time.
Bucky adjusted his stance to where he sat his feet down on the floor once again and then sighed very shakily. He put a hand on his face and then ran his hand through his hair. Evelyn could see how badly he was shaking.
“It’s okay! Take it easy. I know that you don’t want to do this especially after waking up, but according to Shuri, this is the clearest your mind has been. We need to make sure it is clear. Ayo has learned the Russian words and will say them in case you go rogue again.”
Evelyn’s heart broke at her expression. He looked so terrified. She knew that from his past, that this would be a lot for him to handle and it was a lot to take in.
“The only way we can know for sure that those trigger words are gone is by saying the words.” She waited for his reaction but found none. He just stayed stoically quiet.
“No…I don’t…just no. I’m not ready for that…I…I can’t.” Bucky stood swiftly to his feet and started to walk toward the front door. Evelyn could see the animalistic instinct to run. It was obvious to her that he wasn’t ready to face the demons inside his head just yet.
Evelyn walked over to Bucky as she looked down to the floor with a saddened look on her face. She gently grabbed his flesh hand in a tender comforting way, hoping that her presence would be enough to calm him down.
“Bucky look at me.” Once she was sure she had gathered his attention she talked, “I will be there with you Bucky. You won’t be alone, nor will you hurt anyone. You have to do this, to kill the Winter Soldier once and for all.”
Bucky gently, but firmly, took his hand out of hers.
“No…I…I need some air.”
Evelyn watched as Bucky swiftly opened the door and headed outside. She followed him at a close, yet far enough distance that she wouldn’t bother him, but give him the space he clearly needed. She found that he went to sit down by the small lake by the cabin. He had taken off his shoes and was letting the water lap at his bare feet. He just looked so lost and frightened. Evelyn didn’t know whether to approach him or let him be.
She eventually came and sat down by his side, not saying anything at first. She just took deep breaths as she watched the sun set to their left.
“You know, I always enjoyed sunsets and the starry night skies. When a full moon is out, it makes it extra special. It’s always so peaceful.” Evelyn spoke as she smiled fondly at the memory. The gentle breeze blew her hair back and her eyes found the full moon starting to rise behind them, “Ever since I was little, it’s all I would do. When my parents would fight, I would go outside. Even though the night is dark, the moon was always there to shine its light on me. I would always be able to find my way home when that happened.”
“When I was the Winter Soldier, before they would freeze me again, I was often let outside just to get some fresh air. It was usually at night so that no one would see me if someone flew overhead. I remember being to see so many stars and wishing that I could be among them. But then I would go back to sleep and not see anything for a really long time.” He wiped a tear from his face, “I don’t want to revert back to that man.”
“Then the only way to make sure that won’t happen is to make sure the trigger words are gone. You won’t be able to hurt anyone where we are going. Then after that, Shuri will be able to fix you up with the new metal arm and then we can get on with life. Wouldn’t you like that?”
“Yes.” He just looked back out toward the lake.
Ayo suddenly appeared and waited at a safe distance reading the tense situation. Evelyn looked back and smiled.
“Then let’s go earn you your freedom.”