Not A Monster
--- 4 Months Ago: The Avengers Press Conference ---
The avengers sat in front of the press at a questioning panel, they had long decided this would be the way that they did press conferences. Everyone got a voice, no one had to answer all the questions, and they appeared as a united front. You had been with the avengers for just under two months now and rumors were circling of a new avenger.
The press was clamoring for the attention of the avengers, everywhere you looked there were pages being waved, cameras flashed leaving pulsing blue spots dancing in the eyes of anyone who looked at them. Voices yelled over each other asking variations of the same questions.
The avengers, like you tune them all out as you sit in the panel, you are seated between Steve and Tony, an unspoken sign of unanimous support for what was to come.
A quick, simple nod was all you got as a warning before Steve leaned forward and adjusted his mic, and cleared his throat.
The press instantly quieted immediately, Captain America tended to have that effect on people.
“Thank you all for coming today, as you all know there have been some rumors of there being a new Avenger on the team. Tony?”
Tony leaned back and began his piece “So we are here today address the rumors that have been circulating lately. I ask that you save your questions until after we are done speaking, and we have the right to not answer questions as per the usual way we do our press conferences. Additionally, should any of you be disrespectful to anyone here you can and will be thrown out and banned from future conferences, nonlethal force will be used if necessary, understood?”
Smiling at the affirmative nods he received Tony sent you a wink, the signal for you to introduce yourself. Taking a deep breath you turned the mic inside your helmet on and began.
“Hi everyone, I am sure everyone recognizes everyone else up here and so I’m a new face, and one you’re probably going to be seeing a lot more of in the future. Over the last two months, I have been spending time in the Avengers tower and this helped lead to the beginning of these rumors. The reason I was spending so much time there was to understand if I would have a skill set valuable to the team and if I worked well with the team dynamic. Becoming an Avenger is a massive honor and responsibility, and it’s not something to be taken lightly. But it seems I’ve done something right because as of last night it was my great honor that Venom became an official member of the Avengers Initiative.”
The press went wild .
Laughing good-naturedly you begin to point at reporters so you could answer their questions.
“How did you end up being considered for the Avengers? How did you meet them?”
“Well funny story actually.” Tony spoke, “She approached me in an alleyway after I was working on an illegal weapons deal in California and I tried to shoot her in the face with a repulsor.”
“Yep, and it was the start to a very chaotic friendship.” You laughed, “you there”
“What are your abilities?”
“That’s a rather broad answer but I’d say I’m like a mix between the Hulk, Captain America, and Spider-Man. I have super strength and accelerated healing, I can make webs although they aren’t quite the same as Spider-Man’s and I can grow to be just as big as the Hulk.”
“So you're a replacement for those three?”
“No, god no. You asked me to describe my abilities and that’s the best way I knew how to since there’s no need for a demonstration right now.”
You pointed at a woman in a teal dress.
“How’d you get your abilities? Are you a mutant? An experiment?”
“That’s a complex question, I’d say both. I’m a naturally born mutant but about twelve years ago I was taken and experimented on for three years. During the experiments, my mutation was modified and amplified beyond recognition and I became Venom.”
“If you’ve been Venom for so long how come you never reached out sooner?”
“Shortly after I became Venom I escaped and tried to reintegrate into society. It took years, I was taken at a very young age, and because of that, I didn’t have much experience with the real world. I also needed to become better at controlling myself. I had been trained in hopes I would be a violent uncontrollable monster, but I didn’t end up that way thank goodness, however, I was terrified I’d become what they wanted me to be so I worked for years before I managed to feel like I was no longer the monster they wanted me to be.”
“Can you show us what you look like?” a man in the back calls out.
You glance over at Tony and he shrugs at you, not very helpful. You turn to Steve and he simply says “If you want to.”
You look out over the crowd, you can smell their excitement and anticipation mixed with a twinge of fear. “I am no longer the monster they made me but I still look the part I’m afraid,” you say slowly, measuring each word.
Taking a deep breath you let yourself turn into Venom, opening your eyes you exhale slowly.
You can smell the shock without even inhaling. It blankets all the other smells but you can still get snatches of fear and curiosity. You were pretty sure you could smell a bit of lust and swallowed a gag. You had expected abject terror and a witch hunt. Quickly you de-transform, not wanting to push your luck.
The next day the headline had read “Newest Avenger Could Kill You and You’d Thank Her”
------ Today ------
--- Avengers Text Thread ---
Capsicle: Has anyone seen Ven? They seemed upset when they got here, they didn't say much
Katniss: Yeah, I have, and guys, we might have a problem
Shellhead: Wasn’t me this time I swear
Spiderling: What’s happening??????
Itsy Bitsy: Ven is letting off steam
Shellhead: What do you mean by “letting off steam”?
Itsy Bitsy: Well Tony, she’s beating the shit out of the punching bags
Itsy Bitsy: It looks like the Hulk rampaged through here
Katniss: Holy Fuck
Capsicle: Language!
Jamie: Stevie I think there are bigger problems right now.
Shellhead: Friday just showed me the footage
Shellhead: Starlight’s done more damage on the punching bags than Capsicle has
Viz: It appears that she isn’t transformed
Shellhead: So she’s superpowered without transforming?
Jekyll & Hyde: She mentioned that Venom was a symbiote she absorbed but she’s a natural-born mutant. There is a good chance that she could’ve had super strength without Venom and it gave her more abilities or Venom just acts as an armoring for her. Besides, I'm sure Ven's also full of emotions, something must've happened. normally nothing can phase her.
Speedy Gonzales: They wanted her as a soldier. Even if they didn’t they would’ve prioritized her training like Wanda and me to make her really good at what they want her to do plus she's super strong anyways.
Hocus Pocus: I can feel her distress from here, she’s projecting
Katniss: She just kicked one of the punching bags into the wall
Katniss: It’s stuck there
Shellhead: I’ll order new ones
Birdie: I’m going to bring her some food and check on her
Jamie: I’m coming
Spiderling: Maybe u should wait for her to come up?
Spiderling: If she wants to talk she will but if u try and make her she won’t
Shellhead: The kid’s right.
Starlight: Sorry bout the gym
Starlight: I'll be in the kitchen
Starlight: I owe you guys a story
----------------
You were sitting in the kitchen when they all walked in, once everyone was in you looked up and looked at them, these were your friends, this is your family. They were worried about you and you owed them an explanation.
Taking a deep breath you recall how close you’d grown closer to them over the months you’d lived with them.
James Barnes
The kitchen clock read 3:39 am as you softly padded through on your way to raiding the pantry, hoping the sugary food you would find there would help you disassociate from the chalk-like pastes you had been forced to consume during your time with the Three streams.
You tensed when you heard shuffling not far behind you. The smell of pine, gunpowder, and something sharp and cold, mint? Hit your nose.
Ah, you knew who that was.
“Hi Barnes,” you spoke softly.
A soft grunt was all you got in response and the two of you stared at each other, assessing one another.
You stood there in your baggy grey sweatpants, baby blue New York sweatshirt, and signature helmet while Barnes stood in red sweats and a loose white t-shirt, his arm reflecting the light from the fridge.
“What’re you doing up?” you spoke gently.
Despite living in the tower for a while you were yet to interact with many of the Avengers. Barnes didn't seem to fully trust you yet, which was reasonable considering his past, and because you were still adjusting to the fact you no longer lived a life of solitude you hadn’t reached out to him. However, from the interactions you’d seen from the team he seemed to be cautious and overly gentle at times and a little shit with pranks to rival Tony and Clint at others.
“Couldn’t sleep,” he rasped, pausing for a second, slightly hesitating before continuing, “Nightmares.”
“Yeah I get that, mine are about what I could become.”
“... Mine are about what I was.”
Nodding sagely you plop yourself on the couch and he cautiously follows after you.
After sitting in an uncomfortable silence that seems to smother the room like a blanket an idea hits you.
You speak as a sly grin forming on your face. “With your training and mine do you think we’d be able to set up glitter bombs in the vents? I want to get Clint back for the paint incident.”
The shit-eating grin on his face is so stereotypically Bucky, and the fact that it was directed at you almost had you doing a double-take. “I think we could use glitter glue and make him work to get it off.”
“You, Barnes, are my new favorite person.”
“Please, Doll, call me Bucky.”
“That’s Caps thing, how about popsicle?”
The deadpan look you received makes you giggle quietly. “Fine, how bout Jamie?”
“That's the best I’m going to get isn’t it?”
“Yep! But at least I'm not as bad as Tony, I could be calling you a sugar pie honey bun or something.”
He grimaced at the thought before getting up and snatching the car keys off the island. “So you ready to go buy that glitter glue?”
The next morning Clint would dump himself unceremoniously from the vents in the kitchen onto the breakfast table with a startled squawk, covered in red and black glitter. And while everyone else freaked out you and Bucky would fist bump, knowing the ensuing prank war would go down in history.
Steve Rogers
You had been sitting in the museum for the last three hours, staring at the swirls of yellow amidst the dark blue of A Starry Night.
Museums always seemed to calm you, when you had first escaped you would find your way into them through the sewers or air vents. Then you would sit for hours as Venom and let the soft smells of old paint, oil, and canvas wash over your senses as you adjusted to your abilities being yours for the first time in your life.
That’s why when the smell of starched fabric, apple pie, and graphite hit your nose you remained where you were. You came to museums to be alone, your helmet had been changed to allow you to hide your face without being the iconic you, but you wanted the Avengers to still be able to find you.
“You seem to really like that painting.” Cap said as he sat beside you, “otherwise Tony might try and buy it for you.”
You chuckled “Even though it is my favorite I wouldn’t let that happen. I’m not the only one Van Gogh needs to give hope to.”
The smile you received was unlike the press smiles you typically got from him, this one was smaller but far more genuine.
“Hope, huh? Care to explain that?”
“Van Gogh had so much pain in his life, he spent so much of it locked away like a madman. But he always held out hope, and that's when he painted most of his paintings.” You smile while looking at your hands, even though he can’t see it you're sure he can hear it in your voice. “Even in the dark sky he painted there is the light of the stars, there's a promise that even when we yearn for the light of the sun there will be those stars to bring the hope of the coming dawn. We, humans, seek the light, the chance to stand up and be strong, to see the beauty and be beautiful. For the ability to see others and ourselves, to see nature and her stunning variation is a great gift. I love this painting because it reminds me that even though I spent years in the darkness I still had the light of the stars.”
Looking up from your hands you see him contemplating you softly.
“You really know your art don't ya kid?”
“No, I don’t, I never got the chance to learn about it in my efforts to reclaim my life.”
“Well,” he said standing and stretching out a hand in offering, “I’d be happy to give you a tour.”
Taking that hand was one of the best decisions you’d made.
By the time the two of you had made it back to the tower, it was almost eleven at night, having decided to go and get dinner after the MET closed at 9 and debate the works of Monet.
Tony Stark
“Hey, Tony!”
The crashing sounds and numerous curses that followed had you holding back a wince and a chuckle.
You watched as the genius scrambled to his feet. “Yeah, what’s up kiddo? Need anything? More food? Want me to buy you that painting at the MET?”
“Nope! I actually have a personal request that I was hoping you could help me with.”
Tony looked surprised and smelled even more so, it laced with his usual scent of motor oil, coffee, and whiskey. You never made personal requests for anything and despite Tony’s countless offers to make you things you turned them all down and he was pretty sure you didn't like him at all at this point. So whatever you wanted he would be happy to help with.
“Can we make scents for Vision, Friday, and the Bots?” you ask softly, scuffing your toe at the floor.
He furrowed his brows at your request. “Uh, yeah, Starlight, sure, but why?”
He couldn’t quite hear your mumbled answer but when you finally answer loud enough for him to hear his heart melts.
You wanted to be able to smell the bots, that was your strongest scent and it helped you feel more comfortable and closer to someone when you could pick up on a scent.
“Friday is one of my best friends and I want to be able to associate her with something, and I know that she doesn't have anything visual but if I could smell her it would help me know she was safe. Same for Vision, YOU, DUM-E, and Butterfingers.”
It took a while but you and Tony eventually figured out what each of their smells should be and found a way for each of them to release it as well as replenish it automatically.
When you told Friday she had sounded so happy, she smelled of paprika, honey, and a fresh breeze. Vision had hugged you for the first time and he smelled of oak trees, copper, and tea. YOU smelt of champagne, palladium, and water. Butterfingers smelt of smoothies, motor oil, and, of course, butterfingers. DUM-E smelt like a fire extinguisher, axle grease, and rubber.
Vision Banner-Stark & Wanda Maximoff
Vision and Wanda appreciated the fact that you were happy with silence.
Neither enjoyed the loud community style of life the avengers lived and you understood that.
Wanda wasn’t much of a talker and preferred to keep to herself or Vision more often than not. However, she seemed to have let you in after realizing you respected her need for space.
She saw the ways that you quietly invited her and Vision to watch movies or go for hikes in the woods. Activities to be alone with your thoughts or where too much communication wasn’t necessary.
You figured out they enjoyed their space and privacy and when you explained to them why you wanted to give Vision a scent they had hugged you and ever since they had been closer to not just you but also the whole team.
You treated Vision like a person without hesitations and that was more than enough for the both of them.
Natasha Romanoff
You could feel her eyes on you, she was assessing you. Despite all her training her smell could never hide her feelings as well as her face, she was mildly surprised, and since there was no disappointment you assumed she was pleasantly surprised, you’d never dare assume she’d be impressed.
“Hey, Natasha?”
A simple monotone hum is all you get as a response.
“If you hypothetically sparred with Cap and kicked his ass in the most humiliating way possible and I hypothetically took a video, how many news stations do you think it would end up on?”
“You’re still bitter about him waking you up aren’t you?”
“Well yeah, a 4 am wake-up is something I’ve never had to do. Even Three Streams at least let me sleep until 5.”
The smirk you got as a response could only be described as terrifying.
---- On the TV that evening ----
“Good evening everyone, thank you for watching channel 5 today we all got to see an iconic meme reenacted, we were assured no Captain Americas were harmed in the making of this video.”
Your face, or well, your helmet appears on the screen “Hey nat! I have a question! How do you take down Captain America?”
From off-screen in a fake German accent, she shouts “I shot him in zee legz becauze his shield is zee size of a zinner plate and hez an idiot.”
The camera flips to Natasha with a machine gun rapid-firing neon green wax bullets
Over the noise, you can barely hear Steve yelling “Bucky help me out here!”
The camera pans to Bucky laughing with tears in his eyes “itz a zinner plate!”
Sam patted Steve on the back as he looked on in mild horror.
Clint Barton, Pietro Maximoff & Sam Wilson
Pietro, Clint, and you dominated the karaoke the avengers did once a month as team bonding. They had found a fellow karaoke nut in you and therefore requested that you sing almost every single song with them whenever the opportunity arose.
More often than not the three of you would go all out and rock out on air guitars.
You and Pietro held rap battles trying to test just how fast the two of you could go before the other got tongue-tied.
Clint, apparently, despite being almost deaf could beatbox like no one's business and often served as the beat whenever you and Pietro decided to test each other.
When you three wanted to make everyone else feel uncomfortable you picked sexy or romantic songs and tricked your teammates into dueting to them, often they realized their fate too late and Sam would become an accomplice and help record it and spread it around.
Sam even used them to help cheer up old war veterans when he went and visited them, you came along occasionally but the smells made you sad so instead, you and he grew close from the entertainment you, Clint, and Pietro provided for them.
Sam also taught you basic first aid, since you had never needed it but figured you would at some point for either a civilian or a team member. The smile you got after the first person you two had patched up together was one of the best things you had received since arriving at the tower.
Bruce Banner & The Hulk
Having met them both in both forms you could confirm they were both misunderstood angels.
You and Bruce spoke at great length about how you had managed to gain as well as gain control of your powers.
He never pushed you to give samples for him to study.
One day in the lab he asked you, “Hey Venom?”
“Yeah?”
“You said you used to be Venom and you but you absorbed Venom, and then you said ‘We are Venom’ what did you mean by that?”
“Oh, well you see Venom was originally a symbiote. And a really angry one. He didn’t have a good time. Three Streams shoved him into hundreds of hosts and he killed each and every one of them. Each host tried to control him, to break him, to turn him into nothing more than a mindless monster. When they finally forced him into me, he had eaten his forty-three previous hosts, ripped them apart, and ate them alive.”
The look of pure unadulterated horror with a greenish tinge had you putting up a hand in a placating gesture.
“When he met me he was ready to kill me, but what he didn’t expect was that I didn't try to kill him in turn. We stared at each other in my mind both confused and reluctant after he couldn’t kill me and I didn't have the heart to kill him. When I lied and told the experimenters that my mutation had killed him they threw the both of us into a containment cell like the one I normally was in.” tilting your head you continue “that was four days before I escaped.”
“In those four days before I escaped, our minds completely melted, we weren’t even split personalities. That mind-meld allowed me to mature, even more, it cost me the remaining years of my childhood, mentally at least but I never really had one. And that maturity gave me the chance to escape. Now, whenever I feel my instincts, I know they are something from Venom when I comfort someone that's from me when I'm sassy and a bitch that's from the both of us.”
You smile gently, shifting into Venom. “We aren't me and Venom we are both Venom and we're both me. It's like we were never two separate people at all. We’re the same person now and something happened that makes me believe I'm more me than him because I only have my memories. I have his instincts and personality melded with my memories and personality.”
“Do you think me and hulk could ever do something like that? Maybe not meld completely like you're describing but maybe we could…”
“Coexist? Become allies? Friends?”
The soft smile with a relieved “yeah” from Bruce had you grinning from ear to ear.
“Whatever you decide, I’ll support you in any way I can, both of you.”
After about a month you noticed Bruce’s eyes had changed, instead of the two brown ones he once had he now tended to have green eyes. Smiling to yourself you watched as he and the Hulk became a team, as their smells more often than not were smelled together rather than apart.
It seemed that your local Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde were becoming fast friends.
The next time you and Hulk ran across each other during a fight you shared a fist bump.
Friday
Out of everyone in the tower, Friday ranked in your top 5 most trusted people.
Friday knew you were scared that one day you would be forced to leave your new family and helped you make a video in case your worst fears ever came true that they knew you hadn’t abandoned them willingly and would come back as soon as you could.
She was also your best accomplice, the two of you constantly fucked with the tech in the tower.
Changing ringtones and backgrounds to mortifying and hilarious images.
Despite not interacting with her as much as you wanted to, you had still formed a fast bond with the one soul in the tower who didn’t take your bitchiness personally. Not even once.
Spider-Man & Peter Parker
Spider-Man was Venom’s best friend. And Venom was Spider-Man’s best friends
Peter Parker was one of Y/N’s best friends. And Y/N was one of Peter Parker’s best friends.
Venom knew Peter Parker was Spider-Man but Peter didn’t know that Venom was Y/N or even that they knew he was Spider-Man.
You had decided to keep his secret until he told you himself and besides, the excuses he made?
They were absolutely priceless!
Some of his excuses were so outrageous that you were shocked anyone believed him but you enjoyed the joke anyways.
You weren’t really sure what your dynamic was yet, still sorting out your new life in the tower you pushed down feelings that felt concerningly like love.
That was another problem for another day.
Besides after the Vulture incident with Liz and his current crush on MJ you didn’t want to ruin his happiness.
Even if you had a sinking feeling in your gut that it might cost you your own.
--- Avenger’s Kitchen Today ---
Snapping out of your musings you looked at them and spoke clearly. “I have a story for you all, and I’ve needed to tell you for a while but it is also an explanation for today. All I ask is that you listen to me until the end.”
“You all know that I became what I am at Three Streams, Bruce, upon my request explained how the me you know came to be. But I owe you all the story of who I was while I was there, of what was done and endured.”
You paused and took a deep steadying breath, reminding yourself of where you were and who you were before continuing. “I was taken into Three Streams at a very young age, as you all know. However, from my mutation or something else, I was capable of rational thinking from around the age of four. Now by no means was I a genius, but I could understand what was happening to a level that of a twenty or so year old. I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I was younger than ten when Three Streams took me. I was not missed. My father was an alcoholic and my mother died from either labor or a drug overdose. I’m not sure because I never got the full story.” you shrugged, long accepting of that fact.
“As young, as I was I understood what was happening, and I almost wish I hadn't on some days.”
You fiddled with the inky substance that coated you when you were venom, letting it act as a mindless stress ball while you spoke.
“I've never had been, nor have been, as angry or frustrated as I was when I spent my time with three streams. I had so much anger, there was so much hurt in that hell hole. Yet to survive I had to passively observe each and every thing that happened. I couldn't fight back, that's what they’d expected me to do.”
You chuckled humorlessly.
“Show your anger and they'd drug you into compliance."
You shuddered at the memory but quickly moved past it.
"That wasn't the only emotion you weren't allowed there, nothing was allowed really. They would crush your soul in anyway they could think of, and they were quite... inventive. Once they broke you, you would be rebuilt, rebuilt in the image of a weapon. They'd pump you full of crap that would get you hooked and the only way to get your fix would be to follow orders.”
You could smell the disgust that permeated the air as you recalled that particular detail, it was especially cruel because it made good people do bad things. You'd seen so many cry themselves to sleep, vomiting at the mere memories of what they'd done.
“Most people who were brought in were drugged up to their eyeballs with stuff stronger than horse tranquilizers. I had been too in the beginning, but I figured out the rules of the game pretty quick. Just act like a good little worker-bee and they wouldn't drug you, you'd be able to think. If they put you through tests meant to break you, you never showed it. I broke every goddamn day while I was there, but I never ever said it out loud, I never showed it. Had I shown it for even a second, had I ever let them find a chink in the armor, they'd attack it until they destroyed me in my entirety. So I built my walls high and waited, all I ever needed was a goddamn chance, a means to escape.”
“Then Venom came along, and with him a chance. We became one, and all the rage I kept inside became my ticket to freedom. I... I couldn’t take anyone with me because they were too drug dependent, even a day without it had them trying to kill either themselves, everyone around them, or both.”
“I... I'd never really had a life before they took me, never had one while Three Streams held me, but after I escaped I decided it was time to get busy living or get busy dying. So once I saw that base explode and burn to the fucking ground I decided to become human again. Or at least in my mind and mannerisms, I wanted to give the little girl they stole a chance.” you scuff your toe on the floor. “I never fully succeeded and that’s what you saw today. Part of me will always remember the tournaments where I had to fight dozens of other people just to stay alive. I-" you took another shuddering breath "I... un, I understand if you don't feel comfortable around me anymore and if you want me to g-”
You were cut off as Spider-Man threw himself at you, pulling you into a hug. “You aren’t going anywhere. It wasn't your fault Ven.”
“The kid’s right,” Stark spoke, one by one the Avengers voiced their agreement.
And buried under eleven superheroes, you finally felt like you might never have been the monster at all.