Nothing
It was only ten minutes, but it felt like ten hours of silence. The two of you stood on the street corner, staring at the remains of your entire life. In reality, you were waiting. Waiting for the grief, the anger, any negative emotion that had overcome you within the last week. You were preparing yourself for the familiar panic attacks, the brief moments in time when you just couldn't take it and you couldn't manage even the simplest tasks...even breathing. But none of that came. You were literally staring at the charred debris of the only place you had ever called home...and you felt nothing. The numbness scared you to death. Am I broken?
"Y/N?" You turned around, completely forgetting the Superhero that was standing beside you. Concern painted his features...and worried you more. He's expecting an outburst. "I'm so sorry." He wrapped his arms around you, but you didn't return the gesture. You couldn't. Not when his sympathy to the situation outweighed your reaction to it. He pulled away, noticing your response, or lack thereof... "Look, I know there's a lot to process. Everything that's happened just in the past twenty-four hours on top of the past week. But we should get out of here. Whoever is behind this may be waiting for you. Why don't you stay at the compound, at least until we can guarantee your safety." You could tell he was expecting you to fight it, as you had with every other offer he had made you since your introduction. But you simply shrugged. He looked shocked, "Seriously? No demands or strings attached?" Steve was trying to joke, anything to lighten the mood. But there was no need. "I have nowhere else to go..."
Arriving back at the Tower, you still had a pit in your stomach where grief and loss should be, but instead a paralyzing nothingness took residence. Glancing at your watch, you noted the late hour, curious as to the other teammates' whereabouts. Did they even sleep? "Natasha offered the spare room on her floor. It should be ready." You nodded, staring at the cold silver of the elevator doors that had amused you only hours before. They parted and you stepped out, turning around when you noticed your companion hadn't moved. "There's a few things I need to do before I hit the sack. Nat is here and she can help you with anything you need." You parted your lips to respond, but could only manage another nod. Turning back around, you took a second step onto the super spy's floor. "Y/N?" You met Steve's eyes. "You gonna be okay?" The pause before your answer was uncomfortably long. "I really don't know."
"You're not alone in this. We will set things right." The corner of your lips turned upward, more for Steve's sake than your own. The doors closed once more, and a finger tapped your right shoulder, causing you to jump. You hadn't even heard Natasha walk in. "Sorry, you scared me."
"I have that effect on most people." She winked. "I'll show you your room and if you need anything else, let F.R.I.D.A.Y. know and she can order it." You followed Natasha, Should I call her Nat too? Everyone here seems to prefer familiarity, to a door at the end of the hall. Inside lay a perfectly normal bedroom. A gray comforter and mahogany dresser and nightstand were the only furniture that laid residence. Not that they're needed, I have nothing to fill them with anyway. "Bathroom is across the hall and my room is one door over if you need anything. For now, I'll get out of your hair." She walked to her room and closed the door. Nat must really have done her homework, because the last thing you needed at the moment was someone to hover.
After a shower, you found the drawers already filled for you. Not specifically for you, but an assortment of sizes for every need. You settled with a tank top and a pair of sleep shorts, grabbing the next size up so they'd be a bit baggy. Accidentally catching a look at yourself in the reflection of the floor to ceiling window, your breath caught. Who is that ghost looking at me? It took you a moment to even recognize the sallow monster staring back at you.
That's when it hit. It felt like someone had punched a hole in your chest and left it there. You gasped to try to breath properly, still trying your best to keep quiet. The last thing you needed was for an Avenger to walk in on you having a panic attack. The tears were flowing freely and your upper lip became swollen. Your knees buckled and you fell to the floor, back against the wall clutching your head to try to get through it. He's gone. Tyler is gone and he isn't coming back. It's not fair! He never did anything to anyone! Why are we being punished? The thoughts raced through your mind, never letting up until you had literally cried yourself unconscious. Whether it was exhaustion or lack of oxygen, you stayed there all night, waking the next morning exactly where you had collapsed the night before.
The sun hitting your face was the alarm clock to bring you back into the world. Surprisingly, you did feel substantially better after a decent rest and crying hysterically the night before. The intrusive thoughts were gone...mostly. There was only one that plagued your mind at the moment. What now?