Tony Stark felt like a schoolboy who had been summoned to the headmaster’s office as his CEO glared at him from behind her desk.
‘Tony,’ Pepper said icily, ‘could you please tell your fiancé that this is the headquarter of a multinational billion dollar company and not a money exchange for tourists?’
‘Well, the fact that Stark Industries operates on an international level could be seen as trading in currencies. After all, we’re always keeping a close eye on the foreign exchange market and...’
‘Tony!’ Pepper exclaimed and glared at him some more while Loki, Tony’s beloved betrothed husband who apparently had started the scene by strutting into Pepper’s office without an appointment and emptying a huge bag of unidentified metal on her desk, was now looking intensely yet lovingly at his own neatly manicured fingernails.
‘What’s this?’ Tony asked and grabbed a small piece of metal.
‘Vibranium,’ replied Loki, looking up as if he'd just been given a cue. ‘And I don’t understand why Pepper is so angry about it. You always say you’d like to find more of it! Now here it is, and all I want in return are a few dollar bills so I can spend a day at the spa.’
‘You could go to the spa in the tower and use my membership card.’
'But perhaps I’d like to see a little more of Midgard than just the facilities in your own house, Tony, even though they’re admirable.’
‘Honey, I’m not sure if it’s a good idea… Wait a second. Whom did you piss off?’
‘I never!’ protested Loki.
‘Excuse me,’ interrupted Pepper. ‘There have been several complaints coming from Stark Spa this morning. It seems that Loki turned blue and froze the water in the swimming pool.’
Tony was flabbergasted. ‘Why would you do that?’
‘Thor challenged me to a snowball fight.’
Tony and Pepper exchanged glances quickly.
‘Do we want to know more about this?’ Tony whispered.
Pepper shook her head and mouthed, ‘No.’
‘Anyway, now I am being persecuted while Thor is getting away with it as usual. It’s like being back on Asgard,’ Loki insisted while looking like the picture of distressed innocence incarnated.
‘I’m sorry, my dear.’
Pepper cleared her throat. ‘Can we please return to this heap of metal on my desk?’ the CEO asked tactfully. ‘I really have no time for this. Stark Legal has found more evidence of Obadiah Stane’s illegal transactions in the company's name and we’re all really busy here sorting the mess out. It’s sort of an emergency, you know.’
‘Expensive?’ Tony asked while caressing the precious metal in front of him. The suits I could build from this, he thought dreamily.
‘Very.’
‘So we probably can’t afford this amount of Vibranium at the moment anyway.’
‘All I want is a day at the spa with my brother, a massage, and supper at a nice place afterwards. Also with my brother,’ Loki said. He was beginning to look quite miserable but was probably faking it.
‘I’m sure we can still afford that,’ Pepper said. ‘If I give you the cash, do you promise to leave me alone for today?’
‘Wait a second, Pep,’ Tony, waking up from his daydreams of an endless assembly of brand new Iron Man suits, each with new, amazing features to be admired by an already awed audience, said. ‘Where does the Vibranium come from? Is it legal? Did you steal it?’
‘It is legal and I did not steal it.’ Loki rolled his eyes. ‘Thank you for trusting me, my love.’
Tony, not meaning to offend his fiancé, added hastily, 'It's just that nobody here wants another diplomatic incident.'
‘Loki, am I right in assuming this Vibranium isn’t of Wakandan origin? Because I’d like a written statement to that effect,’ Pepper chimed in. ‘Let me fix an appointment with Stark Legal for tomorrow.’
‘Sure,’ Loki replied. ‘Can I have my day at the spa now?’
‘Yeah.’ Tony took his wallet from his pocket and started counting out the dollar bills. ‘If you’ll need more, just drop me a line. I’ll send Happy to bail you out.’
‘Thank you, my dear.’
‘You and Thor.’
‘Yes, of course. We can’t leave Thor behind.’
‘And now you’re going to tell me where you found this treasure.’
With a contented sigh, Loki leaned back on his office chair and Tony and Pepper immediately knew the Norse trickster had only been waiting to be asked to start spinning his yarn.
Quickly, Tony and Pepper exchanged another glance and shrugged. Experience had taught them to listen carefully whenever Loki started to tell one of his lengthy and outrageous tales that often seemed fantastic and far-fetched, but never failed to entertain. And, artfully disguised, there was always some piece of information hidden that was worth knowing. Despite having a tight schedule for today, Pepper and Tony decided to cancel their appointments because they already knew it would be totally worth it.
‘You see, my friends,’ Loki began, ‘you both know how much I love to travel. So recently, I have decided that I might like to learn more about Jotunheim, the realm where I was born.
And, after having found a suitable portal, I went to Utgard, the venerable and formerly glorious centre of Jotunheim, where I introduced myself to my brothers, Helblindi and Býleistr.’
‘Fascinating,’ interrupted Tony. ‘You are aware that technically, you’re still on probation and not allowed to leave the planet?’
‘But you and I are going to be married soon and I felt it was my duty to inform my brothers.’
‘Yes. That, and going to the spa with Thor. Are you trying to tell us that you’re turning into a family man and are about to explore your domestic side? Because I don’t know how Tony would like that,’ Pepper said.
‘But I would like to meet my in-laws,’ Tony added soothingly. ‘So is this supposed to be your dowry or what?’
‘Not at all. You see, you already know the story how the Aesir deemed it necessary to remove the Casket of Ancient Winters and with it most of its magic protection from Jotunheim after the last war.’
Both Tony and Pepper nodded.
‘With almost all magic gone, the realm is frequently hit by asteroids. The settlements are protected by what little magic is left, but it’s quite different for the more remote areas.’
‘Ah,’ Tony sighed. He already had an idea where this was going.
‘Said asteroids often consist of precious metals or stones. As a matter of fact, the fringes of Jotunheim are by now littered with gems.’
Pepper raised her eyebrows. 'Pennies from heaven indeed. And you decided to collect.’
‘Not quite, Pepper. You see, the people are starving.’
Pepper leaned forward; Loki had her full attention now. Despite of being a tough, successful businesswoman, she had a kind heart and would help wherever she could. Especially when there was a possible public relations opportunity for Stark Industries offering itself too. ‘I’m listening,’ she said.
Loki smiled. ‘The Jotnar traditionally have not much use for gems and metals. They always relied on outsiders from other realms to organize their trade for them. But in former days, that was mainly ice sheep wool, sea salt or dried lichen.’
‘Dried lichen?’ Tony asked.
‘For soup.’
‘Sounds delicious.’
‘Oh, yes, it is. I was surprised myself.’
‘Can’t wait to try a spoonful.’
‘You will soon, my love, trust me. Now what I was going to explain is that no raiders would risk to come to a place to steal a few bags of salt, but an abundance of gems and precious metals is a game changer.
My brothers understood this and were facing a dilemma. On the one hand, they had the means to buy food and supplies for their people, but on the other, the news of this kind of wealth would attract all kinds of thieves and cutthroats, and Jotunheim doesn’t need that kind of attention. The giants are weakened already and people are dying young. Also, birthrates are low.’
‘Sounds like your people won’t make it much longer,’ Pepper said softly.
‘Yes.’
‘Honey.’ Tony took Loki’s hand and kissed him lightly. ‘How can we help you?’
‘My brothers asked me to take some of their treasure and clandestinely arrange food deliveries from other realms. I found a family of light elves whose parents and grandparents were trading with Jotunheim for centuries. They were happy to revive the tradition and also understood the need for secrecy. But we need more.’
‘I can see an opportunity for Stark Industries opening,’ Pepper remarked casually, but Tony could hear her thinking.
This is going to be amazing, he thought. An interstellar humanitarian mission! All the other billionaires will be green with envy. I mean, everybody can buy a space shuttle ticket if they have the dough. But I’m the only one with a Loki.
Spontaneously, Tony decided to kiss Loki again and the god looked rather pleased with the attention he received.
‘Perhaps we should talk about Odin at this point,’ Pepper interrupted their pleasantries. ’Because, as we all know, Loki is not allowed to travel at all. Especially not to other planets. And somehow, I feel that Jotunheim is the greatest taboo of them all.’
‘True,’ Loki admitted. ‘But Thor has promised to speak for me when he visits Asgard next week. And mother is sure to join him.’
‘And this probably explains all the quality time you’re spending with Thor recently. “All I want is a day at the spa with my brother!” Loki, why can’t you be straightforward, just once?’ Tony asked. He was trying to sound reasonable, but secretely, he was amused by all this unnecessary drama.
‘Because it wouldn’t be fun that way, my love.’
‘Of course not,’ Pepper said, slightly distracted because she was already typing mails and staring at her display. ‘What do Frost Giants eat? Dried fruit? Jerky? Shall we send toys, too? Always looks good on pictures. Happy children with their new toys.’
‘Midgardian toys are too small for the children of the Jotnar. They would probably swallow them.’
Pepper frowned. ‘We can’t have that. Wait a second- the Maria Stark Foundation informs me they have plenty of milk powder they could donate. Lactose free, too, just in case. Yes, we'll take that.'
‘So this is the plan now? Loki is going to wrap Thor around his little finger, Pep and I are looking for food, and then we’ll save the giants?’
‘And clean up Obedia’s mess,’ Loki reminded them.
‘Ah, yes, that. I almost forgot about Obie. What are we going to do about the Obie situation?'
‘Stark Legal knows what they’re doing,’ Pepper said, waving the problem aside for now. Then she reached for her Stark Phone and began typing quickly.
The men stood and watched her for a minute or two.
'I think we better leave now,' Tony finally said. 'She is too focused on the new project to notice us and probably doesn't remember we're still here.'
'I'm glad you have JARVIS to watch over her.'
'Over us, my dear.'
'Yes. Over us.' Calmly, Loki pulled a large stone from his pocket dimension and put it on her desk. Pepper didn't even look up from her phone. 'A gift from my brothers.'
'Is that a saphire?' Tony asked.
'Indeed.'
'I had no idea they could come in this size,' said the billionaire, impressed, and filled his pockets with Vibranium.
Hand in hand, the couple left the office silently, hoping not to distract Pepper from her new found work. Outside, they happily discussed the riches of Jotunheim and how to put them into good use to create a brighter future for the giants and soon they agreed that this would most certainly turn into a logistical nightmare but a public relations triumph. Then Loki went to fetch his brother while Tony hurried to his workshop, eager to start working with the new metal after telling JARVIS to help Pepper find the required supplies. Pennies from heaven, he mused and started laughing.
Considering that the official price of Vibraniun was $ 10. 000 per gram (and much more on the black market), this was probably the greatest understatement Tony had ever heard.