“Last week I gave a fire safety talk…and nobody paid attention. It’s my own fault for using PowerPoint.” Loki spoke as he broke the key into the door and began to torch the handle. “PowerPoint is boring.” He continued as he made his preparations. Getting doors stuck here, burning handles there. “People learn in lots of different ways…but experience is the best teacher.” Loki finished his little monologue before going outside one of the doors and spilling gasoline into a tiny trashcan. He then lit a cigarette on fire “Today. Smoking is going to safe lives.” He spoke after inhaling some of the smoke then flicking the cancer stick into the trashcan. Right after that he dropped the gasoline bottle into the same trashcan and made his way out of the hallway.
After walking back into the main room, he took a seat down next to Steve who was typing away at whatever work was currently on his screen. Loki then looked around the office. All his coworkers seemed to be too focused to notice the smoke that was now filling up a corner of the office room. “Does anyone smell anything smokey?” He would say in a way to get anyone’s attention.
Wanda, who just got done using the copying machine, looked towards him for a second then back to her papers. “Did you bring your jerky in again?” the witch like girl asked with venom. Loki looked annoyed before turning towards Peggy and clearing his throat.
Carter looked up with an annoyed glance before looking past the obnoxious man. “Oh! Oh my God!” Peggy almost screamed as she pointed towards the smokey corner of the room. The word fire seemingly disappearing from her vocabulary. Pietro turned towards where the woman was pointing only to jump up fast and yell that word she couldn’t seem to find
“Oh fire! Oh my goodness! What’s the procedure? What do we do people?” Loki asked dramatically as everyone panicked and Peggy dialed a number, most likely the fire department.
“The phones are dead!” Carter informed before Loki looked towards the camera, a mischievous look in his eyes. “Oh… How did that happen?” he would say with a creepy smile. The girl seeing this but not commenting on it.
“It’s out in the hall!” Banner yelled some green coming from his veins. The big guy inside didn’t seem to like all the commotion, or maybe he liked it a little too much. Hulk wanted to come out and enjoy this moment. Banner definitely wasn’t going to let that happen.
“We don’t know that the smoke could be coming through an air ducked.” Loki would say in a way to dismiss Banner who was too smart for his own good. All the loudness and screams had Thor look up from his YouTube video. His attention then turned to the smoke. “Oh my god! Okay, it’s happening! Everybody stay calm. Stay calm. Stay fucking calm!” Thor would yell out in a panic.
“Wait wait wait” Loki tried to shout to him through all the yelling in the small crowd of workers.
“Everybody fucking calm down!” Thor would yell again as he reached for the front door’s handle. The motion not being what Loki wanted. “No! No brother no! Touch the handle. If it’s hot there could be a fire In the hallway.” He would tell the other man after getting his attention.
Thor would give him a nod before turning towards the door with a deep breath. The man then lightly tapped the hand and turned back around to look at everyone else. His eyes looking at his brother for help. “What does warm mean?” After those words left his lips the crowd groaned and continued to panic making their ways back towards the middle of the office.
“Not a viable option… What’s next?!” Loki would ask.
“Get the other door!” Scott replied before running to said door. “Oh, here’s a door. Check that one out. How’s the handle?” Loki would say as if he was talking to a literal child, in some ways Lang was one. “It’s warm” Scott informed them all as he continued to twist it and push the door. Everyone quickly made their ways to the back. All pushing through Loki who was trying to tame the crowd.
“I forgot my jacket” Natasha would yell as she was about to turn back around for the jacket her sister had given to her. She unfortunately couldn’t go back because now everyone else was trying to make their ways through that same door. “Leave it woman!” Pietro would yell at her, his strong Sokovian accent shining through. “Get out of the way! Go! Go! Go!” Thor would yell at the two who were currently blocking the doorway to the back of the office.
“Things can pe replaced, Romanoff. People… human lives however can-” Loki quickly stopped his monologue once he realized everyone else was now in the back and he could no longer see them. He quickly ran after the horde of workers who were now crowding the back. Vision runs over to the next door and immediately grabs its handle. “Ow! My God that’s hot!” He yells as he clutches onto his palm in pain. Scott lang who just grabbed the opposite handle also yells and makes his way over to the others. “This one’s hot too!” He informs the group who all groan in unison.
“Okay that’s enough!” Thor yells loudly which causes everyone to look at the Greek God like man in hope. Loki also looks at his brother with some pride, they were siblings. “Everyone for themselves!” Thor again yells which then had Loki’s proud expression vanish, they were not siblings. The crowd was now more chaotic than before, truly fending for themselves.
Banner who was getting greener by the second made his way out of sight as soon as Thor said that. The whole horde of people stomping past the cameramen, Banner who was now becoming hulk in lead. “Have you ever seen a burnt victim?” Loki would start off his next monologue with. Some people who heard him groaned in disgust. He only half chuckled.
“Move it!” Scott yelled as he made his way through the smoke. Steve and Peggy following right behind him. Wanda quickly ran over to her drawer she kept Sparky in when at work. The kids were at school, and no one was home to watch the poor thing, well there was Agnes. “It’s okay…” She would say as she gently grabbed him and picked him up.
Loki, through all the commotion, was telling everyone the procedure and what to do. The chaos he caused making his words turn into static. Not a single soul was listening. “That’s the wrong way you idiot. We’ve already tried that.” He would say once Hulk pushed him to the side and made it’s way back towards to snack room.
Vision made his way onto his work desk and began to lift one of the ceiling tiles. Once it was up and revealed the ventilation system grabbed onto the top and pulled himself upward. Wanda, who was seeing this quickly went up to him, Sparky in hand. “Vision! Vision!” the woman said towards her husband. The man looked down once he was up. “Stay safe darling I’m going to receive some help.”
‘Pull me up!” Wanda replied.
“I can’t darling” Vision then said with a sad undertone. “I can’t- I can’t feel you... safe Sparky for the boys!” Wanda yelled before throwing the dog up after Vision. Seconds later the dog fell from another tile and hit her paperwork hard. “Sparky!” The woman screeched as she made her way towards the puppy.
“How about calling 911? Anyone? 911?” Loki would continue to inform the workers as he walked around and observed the chaos. A small part of him was enjoying this. Okay, it was a big part of him that was enjoying this. Thor was getting sick of this and ripped off the blinds from one of the conference room windows. He then threw a chair at the glass only for it to fall and no damage to be made. The look on his face was one of great loss.
Hulk on the other hand felt as if this was a victory for him. He picked up the vending machine then dropped it hard to the ground. He then yelled before punching it which caused the protective glass to shatter. The Hulk quickly began to take all the contents from the machine, shutting out Banner from making any further decisions. It was bad enough the green monster worked at a paper company.
“What do we do?” Peggy asked Loki before looking towards Steve who was now coughing into his elbow, the smoke was becoming too much. They were all going to die.
“Use your surge of fear and adrenaline to sharpen your decision making!” Loki quickly told the almost hopeless couple. A supportive smile making its way onto his face. Steve looked at the man like he was crazy before turning his attention back to Peggy. “Okay I am not dying here. Come on.” Steve quickly said as he gently grabbed her shoulder and led her to follow him. As the couple made their ways away Loki pulled out one last trick from his sleeve, literally. He lit the firecrackers he had hidden in his sleeve and dropped them to the ground.
“The Fire is shooting at us!” Scott Lang yelled as everyone else panicked and questioned what it was. The sounds of pops radiating the chaotic office. “What the hell is going on?!” Natasha yelled, her jacket with way too many pockets now wrapped around her. Loki who was now bored of their crap pulled the fire alarm. One of the first things they were supposed to do. Steve and Scott both began unhooking the copy machine, teamwork.
Hank Pym who was just kind of standing there and looking at the mess in a daze like state heard something break behind him which caused him to scream on command. Vision broke through the ceiling. His legs being all that anyone could see. “VIS!” Wanda yelped as she made her way towards his dangling legs, sparky barking up to him. Steve and Scott then rammed the machine into a door which’d caused her to scream from the loud bang.
Thor, who now had his office printer, threw it through the same window he tried to break earlier but failed to do so. Good news! The window broke. He quickly put his head through and yelled for help. Pietro started to have a panic attack; the air being taken away from him. Steve and Lang yet again ramming the copy machine into the door. Loki who had enough got onto a desk and rang out his horn. “ATTENTION EMPLOYEES OF DUNDER SOMETHING!” He yelled in order to get everyone to quiet down and look at him. “This has been a test. There is no fire. It was false.”
Rogers looked up at Loki. A confused and mortified look on his face. “What?!”
“Fire is not real. This was just an exercise.” Loki continued with a bored expression. Vision, who heard this stopped fighting to get help and let himself down from the ceiling. Wanda and him quickly making their ways to each other and hugging. “So! What have we learned?” Loki asked everyone in a calmed tone.
“I bet you didn-“ Petro couldn’t even finish his sentence because next second his body collapsed to the floor. “Oh come on its not real Maximoff don’t get shot up about it.” Loki said with an annoyed look before Thor came out from the conference room. With it getting quiet he stopped yelling out the window as cars passed by. Once he went into the main room, he saw Pietro sprawled out on the floor.
Thor quickly made his way to him “NO NO NO YOU WILL NOT DIE!”