Chapter 12
“What took you two so long? I thought you were going out for lunch.” You gritted your teeth as you stepped out of the elevator to see Nat and Wanda hunched over a chess board. That latter was losing. Badly. Something that you would have found amusing had it not been for the cloud of the coming conversation hanging over your head. You’d expected to have to talk about your argument earlier, but not this soon.
Natasha’s green eyes bored into yours, but you refused to be the one to look away first, however intimidating it was.
“We were,” Carol stepped in. Natasha turned her gaze to the blonde, the glare remaining, but Carol didn’t falter. “Then lunch turned into ice-creams, turned into bowling, turned into this one excessively playing until she could beat me.”
You grinned and shrugged a little at the memory. What could you say? Your competitive streak wouldn’t let you leave the alley until you’d beaten her, even if it took six games to do so.
“We were having fun,” you said, “Since when is that a bad thing?”
Natasha stood abruptly startling Wanda a little who, despite acknowledging your presence had continued to focus on the board. Now her attention drifted to you and Natasha instead, bracing for the inevitable argument. You met her gaze only briefly, only just having enough time to detect the discomfort in her body language. An alpha who didn’t like confrontation. That was a first.
“Since you don’t return our texts, or our calls, and are out hours later than expected! It’s past six o’clock!”
You refused to back down from this argument, though you could tell from the look in her eyes that Wanda desperately wanted you to. It wasn’t you who was in the wrong here, and if you backed down now, it would only reinforce the idea in their damn thick alpha heads that they could control you.
Still, you forced your voice to remain even, calm. Getting into a yelling match was no way to win an argument. The real way to gain control here was to stay calm and logical whilst she got angry and emotional. “As I said, we were having fun. Which, may I add, I haven’t had in a long-“
“Having fun is fine, but when you’re out there without us, refusing to check in, we worry! I called you eighteen times. You can’t just ignore us like that,” Natasha growled.
You took out your phone, shoving it to her with a tad more force than necessary. “It’s flat. I wasn’t ignoring you, and for you to assume I was is downright disrespectful.”
“Oh,” she scoffed, “So I’m the disrespectful one here?”
You rolled your eyes irritably, “Honestly, you’re just as bad as Steve sometimes. I swear to God.”
You started to move past her in an attempt to get to your room. You wouldn’t admit it – you’d never admit it – but her anger was scaring you. Not a lot. Not quite enough to trigger your fight or flight, but enough to make you highly uncomfortable, and certainly enough that you knew that if you stayed here, you risked a meltdown. You were getting used to being vulnerable around them, yes, but omega-vulnerability and emotional vulnerability were two very different things. One was expected, socially acceptable, and the other… the other was just giving away control, and control was the one thing that you refused to ever give up, no matter who to.
You wanted to share your emotions with them, to feel safe being scared around them, to let them support you through that like they had your heat, but you wanted it to be on your terms. Not because of an argument like this.
Natasha gripped your arm and you stiffened, feet rooted to the spot, though this time you knew that Wanda’s magic had nothing to do with it.
“No more running away, Y/N. I want to talk about this like grownups.”
“But I don’t.” You weren’t able to conceal the way your voice trembled ever so slightly. Natasha seemed to do a double take at the tone. She’d noticed. Of course she’d noticed. “Please let me go.”
Her grip loosened, just enough for you to be able to tug your arm out of her grasp as exit the room, only just having the self-control to not run.
“Y/N?” The voice accompanied a soft knock at the door, and you could tell immediately that it was Natasha.
Your feet automatically began to take you to the door, but you faltered. Your mind was clearer now, but was hers? You’d had a bath upon returning to your room, and the warm water had allowed you to relax a fair bit. Now though, you could feel the tension in your muscles returning. But Nat was right. You couldn’t run away from your problems. Not anymore.
You were about to answer her when you heard her continue through the door. “I’m sorry.” You tilted your head. Those were not the words you’d expected to hear from the stubborn alpha. “I’m not- I stand by my point in what I was saying, but I should’ve handled it better. I know that. Will you at least come out for dinner? It’s pizza. Uh- if not, I’ve got a box here that I can leave outside.”
You opened the door halfway, startling Natasha, who’d clearly not been expecting you to answer. “I ate when I was out with Carol,” you said quietly, leaning on the door’s threshold as you took in the alpha’s appearance. She looked genuinely distraught, and despite your upbringing, you had the empathy enough to feel bad for causing her that much stress. You opened the door further, ticking your head in invitation for her to enter. “I could eat a slice or two.”
Natasha let out a visible sigh of relief as she entered, and you closed the door behind her. “I’m sorry,” she said again.
You shook your head. “We’ll need to work out a compromise, I know that, you know that, Wanda’s always known that.”
“I don’t want to restrict you or treat you like a child. That was never my intention, but-“
“You care about me,” you interrupted. “And because of that, you’ll worry, regardless of how often I check in. Look,” you sighed. “How about this; you let me go out where I want and do what I want-“you saw her about to argue, but quickly continued before she could. “pending that I check in once an hour and if it’s not a safe neighbourhood, I take Carol or someone with me.”
Natasha chewed her lip in thought. You knew that Wanda wouldn’t be a problem. If you and Nat agreed on something, she probably would too. All you had to do was convince the alpha in front of you.
“Fine,” she gave in eventually. You grinned a little. “But, you’ll check in once every forty-five minutes, and I have to know and vet through the S.H.I.E.L.D. database anyone who you want to meet up with.”
“Good luck finding anything under Bullet,” you teased.
Natasha cracked a small smile in return, but her expression became serious again. “I know I have to get used to this though. This worry. It made me snap when I shouldn’t’ve and whether or not you wanted me to know about it, I know it scared you. I really am sorry.”
You nodded, “I know.”
You stepped closer to her, breathing in her scent, though it was slightly distorted thanks to the pizza box in her hand. You pressed your lips against hers gently, and though her surprise was clear, Natasha was quick to respond. You pulled away first, looking up at her before glancing at the pizza.
“That’s going to get cold.”
If she wasn’t so controlled, Natasha might have whined. Even still, her expression said it all. You chuckled at the sight. “Come on. Let’s eat. I just discovered this new TV show and I’m hooked.”
Wanda found you and Natasha curled up together a few hours later when she came to ask you if you’d seen Nat. The pair of you were tangled up in a pile of blankets that you’d gotten from your next, your head in her lap as she played with your hair. Brooklyn 99 played in the background, though you seemed more interested in Natasha running her fingers through your hair, scratching lightly every now and then.
“I guess you two came up with a compromise then?” Wanda asked, announcing her presence.
You sat up a little to look over at her, only to lay back down when Natasha tugged your hair impatiently. Natasha told the other alpha the new terms and she nodded, making her way over to the bed. You shifted so she could sit next to Natasha. The witch traced patterns on your back as the three of you turned your attention back to the show and you soaked up all the attention like a sponge. This was nice. It was nice to have comfort like this because you wanted it rather than needed it. It wouldn’t be smooth sailing all the time – today had attested to the fact – but it would be worth it for moments like this. Moments when your mind was quiet, your body relaxed. Moments when you were happy.
“It’s getting late,” Wanda yawned, nudging Nat, “We should head back to our room.”
“Stay,” you murmured sleepily. Truth be told, you’d been half asleep when the witch’s voice had startled you out of the limbo between sleep and wakefulness.
“Are you sure?” she asked, because she knew you were tired, and she knew that there was a chance you weren’t thinking clearly.
You nodded, “Yeah. Stay. It’s cold. You’re warm.”
The pair didn’t need any more convincing before they closed the laptop and slipped under the covers with you sandwiched between them. It was a situation that should’ve made you uncomfortable, it should’ve made you tense. But all you felt was sleepy. You drifted off, surrounded by the scents of your alphas.
The next day, you stepped through the threshold of the large sliding doors into the mall. You’d never been to this particular one, seeing as it had been too far away from the warehouse to be worth the long walk. Your eyes darted around, your brain already instinctively making a mental map of the building.
You, Wanda and Nat had decided that you’d been procrastinating this long enough, and it was about time that you stopped living out of their closets and got some clothes of your own. You hadn’t minded using their clothes, but not wanting to be a nuisance, you’d reluctantly agreed to get some clothes of your own. Your old ones were worn and so dirty that not even a few rounds through the washing machine really did the job.
So now, for the first time in a while, you were entering a crowded public space. You’d forgotten how nerve-wracking it was. Sensing your discomfort and quickly deducting the reasoning behind it, Nat slid over to your other side so that you were between her and Wanda. You relaxed a little, feeling less vulnerable with your alphas protectively stood on either side of you.
You eyed different couples and groups as you passed. The world really did vary in types of alphas. Some omegas cowered away from their partners as they were roughly tugged along with collars or made to kneel as still as stone on the hard floor as their alphas ate with their friends. Other omegas were chatting away happily to their alphas or kneeling on pillows with their heads on their alpha’s knees, staring up and them lovingly. You were upset to see much more of the former, and you were eternally grateful for being one closer to the latter. Every now and again you’d come across an omega tied up at one of the many hitching posts set up around the mall. Some wore signs like ‘use me if you please’, and the sight alone made you sick to your stomach. And to think you’d only been in here a minute.
“You okay, Y/N?” Nat asked quietly. You shifted closer to her wordlessly, wanting the contact with her to help calm you. She snaked an arm around your waist, rubbing up and down your side gently. “It’s okay. We won’t leave your side. Promise.”
“Okay, I think first we should go get you some clothes, Y/N. That sound okay?” Wanda asked. You nodded, and Wanda smiled brightly at you. “I know just the place.”
You, Wanda and Natalia entered a clothing store – Barton’s as the sign out front called it. The younger alpha all but flounced in, eyes bright.
“Wanda?” An unfamiliar voice asked. You looked over to see a woman – a beta, judging by her scent – spot Wanda from the cashier. “Nat? Hi, it’s so good to see you guys.”
“Hi Laura,” they replied.
“I’ll grab Clint from the back. He’ll be so excited to see you.” She went through a door behind the counter only to reappear moments later with another beta in tow.
“Wanda, Nat, how are my two favourite Avengers?” the man said, grinning. He stepped around the counter to hug Wanda before stepping up to you and Nat. You reflexively recoiled away from him, half-hiding behind Natalia. You eyed him from where you stood. He had a confidence in his gait and an almost fatherly way of hugging Wanda. You couldn’t decide whether you liked him or not.
“Hey Clint,” Nat smiled, stepping forwards to hug him.
“Who’s this?” he asked, gesturing to you?”
“Y/N,” Natalia introduced you. “Wanda’s and my soulmate.”
He inclined his head a little, a smirk on his lips. “I’d hug you, but you don’t really seem like the hugging type.”
You glanced at Nat, unsure as to whether or not this stranger would get angry at you for replying to a comment rather than a direct question. She nodded encouragingly, and you decided to trust her, hesitantly saying, “Physical contact’s never exactly been my forte, sir.”
The beta chuckled, waving a dismissive hand, eyes narrowing as your muscles tensed in an almost imperceptible flinch, “Drop the sir stuff. I’m Clint Barton. I used to work with these two troublemakers before I retired.”
“Clint’s the one who turned me,” Natalia murmured to you. You tilted your head, processing this information. “I was on a mission for KGB and ran into him.”
Clint chuckled again, “I’d been sent by S.H.I.E.L.D to kill her.”
“But you were too soft,” Nat teased with a playful grin. The corner of your mouth quirked up a little at their easy banter.
“You almost killed me,” Clint replied.
“That’s kind of what the Red Room does,” you pointed out.
“Y/N’s also from the Red Room,” Nat explained.
Clint did a glaringly obvious double take. “I didn’t know the Red Room trained omegas,” he said quietly.
“They usually break omegas,” you cut in, looking away. “However hard the training is for an alpha, it’s quadruple that for an omega. The only other two omegas in my class both died less than half a year after presenting.” You tried to push the memories away. You missed them both dearly to this day. You may have only had that kinship with them for a couple months, but those couple months had been the most enjoyable at the Red Room after you’d presented.
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
You shook your head. “Don’t be,” your voice was cold. “They break the breakable ones. Those that are left are made of marble.”
You felt Natalia stiffen beside you at the familiar phrase, but Wanda broke the tension with a quiet cough. “Maybe we should start shopping,” she suggested quietly.
Nat nodded quickly, “Agreed.”
“I’m sorry,” you whispered to her as Clint walked away. “I didn’t mean to upset you."
“It’s okay, Y/N. I’m not irritated with you, okay?” A weight lifted of your shoulders at her words and you took a deep breath.
“Okay.”
“Let’s get shopping.”
Shopping in Barton’s turned out to be rather fun, actually. Finding outfits for you slowly morphed into the three of you having a competition to see who could make the others look most stupid with the world’s most random assortment of clothes. You had to say, Nat in an obnoxiously huge red hat with a leopard print shirt, bright blue scarf, flowy pink skirt and impossibly tall green heels was absolutely hilarious. Eventually, you’d grabbed enough clothes and headed over to the counter to pay before leaving the store.
The three of you wandered around a bit before Wanda asked, “Your shoes are looking rather worn, how about we head over to the shoe shop?”
You nodded, and the three of you headed into the store.
Nat’s hand rested on the small of your back, her touch feather-light in an attempt to not startle you. You looked up at her, leaning into her side a little as you followed Wanda up to the counter.
“Hello, how can I help you today?” A female alpha asked. You watched her closely, trying to sum her up.
“Hi, we’re just looking for some comfortable shoes,” Nat said, “Nothing too fancy, right Y/N?”
You nodded, glancing at the alpha across the counter as she seemed to notice you for the first time.
“You know,” she said, “We just started up a little side-business for omega training classes. Would you like to sign yours up? It’s very affordable.” She looked at you, looking you up and down, and your eyes darted nervously to Natasha.
“No thanks,” the redhead replied for you, scenting your anxiety. She nuzzled your neck comfortingly. You breathed in her scent as she released calming pheromones.
“Are you sure? She looks like she could learn to stay still.” She cast a stern glance over you, and it was only then that you realised that you’d been shifting your weight from foot to foot since entering the store. You’d never been good at sitting still. It was torturous for your mind. You could only meet the woman’s gaze briefly before having to look away because of the intensity of it. She tutted, “Very unsure of herself, isn’t she? Our training classes work wonders, I assure you.”
“I’m not a dog that needs to be trained,” you snapped.
The woman seemed startled at your snappiness, but her gaze quickly turned to a glare to Nat and Wanda. “You just let her talk to her superiors like that?”
You were about to argue, but Nat was already defending you. “You’re not her superior, and neither are we. The old ways are outdated and abusive, and if you don’t agree with that, then I don’t think this is the right shop for us. Let’s go.”
Wanda placed a protective arm around your shoulders as you left. “Well that was a complete waste of time,” she muttered, evidently put-out by the knowledge that it had been her idea to go in there in the first place.
Nat looked as if she was about to say something, but faltered, gaze finding something. You followed her line of sight as she muttered, “Maybe not.”
In the centre of the mall’s large hallway was a little stand advertising omega equality. She made a beeline for it, curious about the organisation.
“Hi,” one of the betas at the stand greeted, standing up from his chair. He had a cheery-looking smile on his face and couldn’t be any older than college age. “We don’t get many alphas here. How can I help you?” He glanced down at you briefly, giving you a warm smile that you returned tersely.
“What sort of things do you do?” Nat asked curiously, grabbing and flicking through one of the pamphlets on the table.
“Well it ranges from taking donations to running omega support groups.”
“Support groups?” you inquired, intrigued.
The beta smiled at your boldness, “They’re for omegas that have been abused or traumatised, usually by alphas,” his smile turned a tad nervous and he quickly looked at Wanda and Nat as if they’d lunge at him for insulting their bearing. “We actually just opened a place across the road from the mall, and they’re having an orientation meeting this afternoon if you’d be interested. If that’s okay with your alphas, of course,” he spat out the last part quickly, as if he’d forgotten about Nat and Wanda’s existence.
Nat chuckled lightly. “We don’t bite, kid.” She turned to you, “Do you want to check it out?”
“Really?”
“Anything you want. If it’s something that you think would be good for you, we’re here to support you.” You leaned against her appreciatively, nodding at the beta.
“The meeting starts in…” he glanced at his watch, “Twelve minutes, but there are still a few empty slots, so I’ll just slip you in. If you go out through that exit over there, it’s right across from you. Same logo as the stand. The group is free, but we’re always accepting donations.” He said the last part hopefully, and Wanda took one of Stark’s cards out of her pocket. The billionaire provided the entire pack with a card each, considering he certainly had enough money go around. The beta smiled happily, “How much would you like to donate?”
Wanda glanced at Nat and shrugged, “Would 2000 be good?”
The beta gaped. “Really?”
“If there’s a reason to use extra money, this would be it. Tony would agree.”
“Thank you!”
After donating and saying goodbye to the beta, the three of you walked out of the mall. You walked over to the building the beta had described. Upon walking in the door, you were immediately welcomed by a flurry of lovely scents. Your muscles unconsciously relaxed, and you breathed in more deeply, trying to get more of the scent.
“It’s a nice scent, isn’t it?” you looked around the room to see an empty waiting room. Well, empty save for a beta sitting behind a reception desk. She was an older lady, with reading glasses, grey hair and a cardigan covering a boldly patterned top. “It’s a new one. So far, all the omegas have loved it. Are you here for the support group?” It was strange for her to be talking directly to you and to completely ignore the alphas by your side, though it was certainly a welcome change. You nodded uncertainly. “Head right through, love.”
You headed through a doorway into a room. There were ten people seated in there already, and the mixture of scents in the not-so-large space had you sticking to Wanda and Nat’s sides. Some were seated on chairs, others lounged on the multitude of beanbags, blankets and pillows on the carpeted floor.
You took in everyone there. The only one that really seemed to stand out was a kid that looked like he was little more than a pup. Surely he couldn’t even be outside of highschool. His posture made him look small, as if he was trying rather hard not to be noticed. He was sitting next to a woman. His mother, maybe? You shrugged mentally. It didn’t really matter.
He spotted you, or rather the alphas on either side of you, and waved brightly. They returned his wave with their own.
"Do you know him?" you asked.
"That's Peter," Nat introduced quietly. "He's basically Tony's son. He usually stays with his aunt, but stays at the Tower in school holidays. I'm pretty sure he's coming over this weekend actually. Cute kid. Nice, nerdy, basically a mini Tony without an ego. The man over there, running the meeting, that's Sam, aka Falcon. He works with us sometimes, but recently he's been taking a break, which is why you haven't met him yet. He's a good guy. Beta."
"We're meeting up with all your old friends then," you chuckled. It was comforting to know that Natasha trusted at least two of these people.
“I believe,” a man dressed in a suit said, standing and looked around, “You’re the last one to join us today. Have a seat.” You, Nat and Wanda claimed three of the spare seats. You’d taken the middle seat, privately preferring that they were on either side of you rather than having to sit next to a stranger. “So, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Sam Wilson. Some of you are new here, some of you,” he briefly glanced at the almost-pup, “Are just about veterans at this by now. Game plan for today is that for the first few minutes, we introduce ourselves, then the alphas leave, and we can get into things.
“Few rules of therapy to start off with. First and probably most important is confidentiality. We don’t share names or stories of the people in this room outside of this room. However, if you believe someone is in danger of hurting themselves or others or breaking the law, then I would be obliged to let the necessary people know. Second, is privacy. No one here will ever be forced into participating if they don’t want to. Encouraged, yes. Forced, no. Third, we don’t talk over each other here or pick fights. Humiliation, violence and intimidation is also not allowed. We also don’t gossip. Are those rules okay with everyone here?” There was a murmur of agreement amongst the group. “Perfect. How about we all go around and introduce ourselves.”
He nodded at Wanda, who was to his immediate right. “Oh,” she was clearly caught off-guard and coughed a little. “I’m, uh… I’m Wanda. Maximoff."
You linked your fingers through hers, the contact giving you the confidence boost necessary to say, “I’m Y/N.”
“Natasha Romanoff,” Nat introduced shortly, clearly just as uncomfortable as you in the room full of strangers.
“I’m Peter Parker,” the almost-pup introduced.
“I’m May, Peter’s aunt,” the beta woman next to him said.
The rest of the room spoke, and when everyone was done, Sam nodded, “Perfect. I’ll ask for the alphas to leave now and we can get into it.”
You stiffened slightly as Wanda and Nat stood. You really, really didn’t want to be left alone in a room full of strangers. You held onto Wanda’s hand tightly, your eyes begging her not to go.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Y/N. Nat and I will be right outside, okay? I promise. If you really want to leave, just come outside and we can go home, but this might be really good for you.” A barely audible whine burned your throat, and Wanda shrugged her cardigan off, handing it to you, “Please try this for us?”
You forced yourself to breathe and nod. “Okay,” you whispered. Your eyes didn’t leave them until the door had closed behind them. You held onto Wanda’s cardigan tightly, breathing in her scent. You had to stop this. Get that damn mask of yours back on your face, Y/N.
“Are you alright Y/N?” Sam asked. You nodded stiffly as your mask slipped back into place, eyes cold and calculating. Sam raised an eyebrow, but let it slide. “Okay then, to start us off – if you all feel comfortable – we should get to know one another’s stories. Peter, care to start us off?”
Peter sat up a little straighter, nodding. “I- uh- I was walking home one night. I’d just presented. And this alpha,” he let out a shuddering breath. “He took advantage of me. And until then, I’d been living a… sheltered life with my aunt. So yeah, it was a bit of a shock. When I told my aunt what happened, she signed me up to see a therapist who later diagnosed me with PTSD from the event. So… yeah.” His scent had shifted to a mix between fear and sadness.
“Thank you for sharing, Pete,” Sam said gently. “Y/N, you’re newest in the group, how would you like to share?”
You swallowed, clenching your jaw. “I don’t quite know what to say.”
“Maybe try starting with something easier to talk about. Like what school was like for you as a kid, or where you grew up.”
Easier my arse. You thought. “I was raised in Russia to be a spy and assassin. I didn’t exactly have a normal school experience,” your voice had a clipped edge to it.
“Were you treated differently because you were an omega?” he asked evenly.
You rolled your eyes, muscles tense. You scoffed. “Of course I was. Normal alpha kids can be mean, but add the fact that they were trained to be ruthless torturers and killers? Nah, they were as sweet as peaches, Mr. Wilson.” Your voice was dripping with sarcasm.
“Okay, Y/N, I’m sensing some anger here. Why don’t we take a breath?”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” you said coldly, emotionlessly. “Just don’t.” You clutched Wanda’s cardigan tightly, forcing yourself to focus on the feeling of it. You didn’t want him to tell you what to do. You couldn’t deal with it. Not when memories of being forced to do others’ bidding in the Red Room was so close to the top of your mind.
“Y/N, anger is a completely normal response when talking about a traumatic situation. It-“
“It wasn’t traumatic,” you snapped defensively, “It was my life.” It was your life. It had been your life. Not anymore. Never again.
“Was,” Sam repeated. “So you got out?”
“No shit.” These stupid questions were starting to irritate you. You wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t gotten out.
“We don’t swear here, Y/N,” he reminded gently.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” you hissed at him. You didn’t know why fear was beginning to creep into your system to mix with the anger already there.
“Okay, okay. Can I suggest then that you take a moment to think about what it is that’s making you upset?”
You shook your head, standing, “This was a mistake,” you muttered. You didn’t belong here, with these people. It just wasn’t for you. You weren’t a sharer; you weren’t someone who like to talk through their issues. This just wasn’t going to work for you.
“Your spot in the group will stay open if you want it, Y/N,” Sam called out to you moment before you shut the door behind you.
Wanda and Natalia stood as you entered the room not even five minutes after they’d left it.
“Hey, are you okay?” Nat asked, sensing your distress. You kept walking, striding out the door, “Y/N what happened? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you huffed, “I’m just… I’m not- group sharing is a no, okay?” You knew your tone was shorter than either of the alphas would like, but you were grateful that they let it slide.
“Okay,” Nat said quietly, “But hey, wait up. Y/N!” She grabbed your arm, spinning you around. You huffed, irritated. “No more running away, Y/N.”
“I just want to go home,” you said quietly.
Nat nodded, “That’s all you needed to say, okay? Stay here with Wanda. I’ll bring the car around.”
You nodded, and she left, leaving you with Wanda.
“I take it you don’t want to talk about it?” the alpha asked gently. You shook your head. “Okay then. If you change your mind, let me know.”
At that moment, Nat pulled up in front of you and the two of you got in the car. Well, that was an eventful day.