Chapter 5
Nat saw Y/N slip away, but she had more to be concerned about than the omega. She looked at Steve, masking any trace of anxiety that may have made its way onto her features.
“You know why you’re here.” It wasn’t a question, and unlike with Y/N, Steve had no need to suppress his alpha voice with Natasha. Natasha, he knew, wasn’t afraid of him. Afraid of punishment, maybe, but not of him.
Natasha found herself avoiding the other alpha’s intense gaze. She was an alpha, yes, but alpha biology differed from alpha to alpha, and some of them naturally had more… dominant traits – they were usually head alphas of packs. Steve, Natasha knew, had a more prominent alpha bearing than she did. Maybe that was partially because of the Red Room’s influence on her childhood, perhaps it was just genetics, but there was a part of Natasha that had always acknowledged that Steve was above her in pack hierarchy. She’d disliked it at first, that feeling that she wasn’t the one in power within the pack, but she’d slowly come to accept it.
So, as she stood in front of him, she knew exactly why she was here. She’d been pushy, she’d disobeyed him, she’d made decisions that weren’t hers to make… this was the product.
“What’s gotten into you?”
“Hey, hold on a second. Are we just going to pretend that you’re not being a total dick?” Anger flashed in Steve’s eyes, but Natasha didn’t even give him a chance to say anything before she was talking. “You are treating Y/N horribly and you know it.”
“It’s a head alpha’s nature to-“
“I don’t care, Steve! You have no right to treat her the way you do. She’s not your soulmate, and she hasn’t yet accepted her position within this pack. Sure, I’m not listening to you like I normally do, because everything that comes out of your mouth concerning Y/N is bullshit.” Steve opened his mouth to argue, but she held up a hand, silencing him. “Steve, you may not have been able to tell from that side of the room, but the moment that she saw you, she was scared. You scare her Steve.”
“Look, I never intended-“
“Your intentions don’t matter Steve. Of course they’re good, they always are with you, but we don’t know her past, we don’t know anything about her, and you’ve been treating her like she’s Tony. Newsflash, she’s not. She doesn’t like you like Tony does, she doesn’t trust you like Tony does, and the blatant fact is, the tighter you hold onto Y/N’s leash, the harder she’s going to pull away; the more you punish and restrict her, the warier of you she’s going to be. That’s just how it is with her. Tony like that stuff – rules, guidelines to follow. It makes him feel safe, and that’s absolutely okay, but Y/N isn’t Tony. This restrictiveness clearly isn’t what she needs.”
“Are you done?” Steve asked sternly when it seemed like Natasha was finished, his tone almost as if he was scolding her.
Natasha clenched her jaw, irked by Steve’s clear lack of interest in the topic. “Did you even listen to a word I said?” When he was silent, she forced herself to take a deep breath before spinning on her heel and exiting the room, ignoring him calling after her.
The next morning, you were in your room reading. Well, it was more like looking at words on a page. In all honesty, this was you procrastinating having breakfast with the pack. It’s not that you didn’t like them, no that wasn’t it at all. You just didn’t quite feel comfortable around them yet. Though, you had a shift at the bar tonight, so at least that would get you away for a little while. Wait, no. Damnit. You weren’t allowed to leave the tower without an alpha or beta. You supposed you could ask Bruce to tag along. He’d probably be the least intrusive, being a beta and all. But you felt kinda bad. Your shift started at four p.m. and you usually wrapped up just after two a.m... You could be almost guaranteed that no one wanted to stay up that late, or early depending on how you look at things.
You looked up as your door opened, and you saw Bruce standing awkwardly in the doorway. “Right. Food. Yeah, I’m coming,” you sighed. Standing and trying your best to ignore the beta’s apologetic look. As you met him at the doorway, you asked, “Are you free tonight? I’ve got a shift at work and apparently I’m not allowed outside alone so…”
“Oh, I’m sorry Y/N, Tony and I are running some… time sensitive experiments in the labs today and we need to be there to constantly supervise unless we wanted to risk making half the city radioactive.”
“Right,” you sighed, “Don’t worry about it. I suppose I can ask one of the alphas.”
“But?”
You smiled a little at the beta’s genuine concern for you. “The bar… it’s a magnet for drunk alphas and there have been a few times where some have gotten a little… handsy. I just don’t want anyone reacting unnecessarily. I’ve dealt with that sort of stuff before, just not with an overprotective alpha shadowing me.”
Bruce smiled sympathetically. “Yeah, none of them are really the best when it comes to deescalating situations.”
“Any suggestions of who’d be the best to take?”
Bruce sighed. “Wanda’s a definite no. She’s far too protective and way too powerful. Steve’s the same, just with a little less power. Nat and Bucky… they’re both trained assassins, so…” Well so am I, you think to yourself.
“Thanks. I’ll take that into mind.” You could probably deal with Nat or Bucky, but for some reason you felt Nat would be the safer bet. She was your soulmate after all.
By now, you’d entered the dining room, though this time you were a little less disturbed as everyone’s eyes turned to you. You sat down in the same seat as yesterday after grabbing an apple. You were still full from last night’s dinner, to be honest. You hadn’t had access to this much food in ages.
You sat quietly as everyone continued their conversations, and you nibbled at the apple uninterestedly.
“Are you going to eat that or just pretend to?” Nat asked, her low voice setting off unwanted butterflies in your belly.
“I’m not hungry,” you said quietly. The redhead raised a brow and you quickly looked away, flushing. Your empty plate was taken from where it sat in front of you, only to be returned moments later filled with scrambled eggs, toast and bacon.
“You’re too skinny,” she muttered, “And you look an inch from death.”
“Well sorry money wasn’t exactly plentiful on the streets,” you snapped. You knew you were underweight. She didn’t need to mention it.
“Eat.”
“I’m not hungry,” you insisted, “All this will accomplish is making me sick.” Nat frowned, but before she could say a word, you cut her off. “It’s called refeeding syndrome. I’ve spent years being malnourished and underweight. Eating too much too suddenly wouldn’t be good. My body would have to make an abrupt shift from fat metabolism back to carbohydrate metabolism, causing insulin secretion to increase. Apart from that I’d probably develop hypophosphatemia, hypomagnesemia, hypokalemia-“ you sighed, realising that spitting facts from a medical textbook would just lose Natalia’s interest. “My point is that my body needs time to readjust to actually having enough to eat. Ask the doc if you don’t believe me,” you nodded over to Bruce, who was engaged in a discussion with Bucky and Cap.
“How do you know that?”
You shook your head with a soft laugh, biting into your apple, “You’ll laugh at me.”
“No I won’t,” she argued.
“Fine. I- oh God,” you hid your face in your hands, embarrassed. “I kind of really wanted to be a doctor when I was younger. And my first trip overseas was to Spain, and I met this doctor in a coffee shop pouring over a medical textbook. He saw me looking and asked if I wanted to be a doctor. I said yes, and he gave me the textbook, saying he could just get another.” What you didn’t say was that this man had been your target and he was now six feet under.
“That’s sweet. Do you still have the book?”
You nodded, “Yeah, but it’s at the warehouse.”
“We can go pick it up if you want. I’m sure that’s not the only thing you’ve left there.”
“Yeah, thanks,” you said half-heartedly. No, you thought. The warehouse was your private space. You didn’t just bring strangers there whenever. Besides, it would probably scare off the dogs, and it was just as much their home now as it had been yours a week ago. It seemed somehow unfair to assume that they’d be okay with you bring a bunch of strange alphas into their place. You knew you were probably overestimating their abilities to comprehend the world around them, but it still felt wrong. As if you were throwing them under the bus somehow. Anyway, long story short, bringing alphas to the warehouse was a solid, undeniable no.
You sat in silence for a moment before Steve asked, “Do you have any plans for today Y/n?”
“Oh, right. I almost forgot. I’ve got a shift at my work tonight. From four ‘til two.”
“A.m.?” Steve asked, raising a brow. You nodded. “You’re not staying out that late.”
You bristled, “Try me. It’s my job, and I don’t intend to quit now.”
“You ought to be grounded after that stunt you pulled yesterday,” he growled.
You narrowed your eyes, “You don’t own me. And I’m not a child; you sure as fuck are not allowed to treat me like one.”
“Guys,” Wanda started half-heartedly, only to be completely ignored as Steve spoke over her.
“Firstly, watch your language. Secondly-“
“If you say, ‘I can treat you however I want’, so help me I will beat you into fucking March,” you growled.
The alpha stood suddenly, chair scraping back at the movement. You were on your feet not even a nanosecond later, muscles coiled and ready to fight.
“If you’re looking for another punishment, you’re going the right way about it.” Steve eyed you down, as if he could intimidate you. You scoffed inwardly. You’d dealt with alphas ten times scarier than him when you were nine.
“So, you’re trying to scare me into submission. Is that it? That’s pretty damn shitty if you ask me.”
“So far you’ve sworn three times, threatened me, and been blatantly insolent. Three rules you’ve broken.” You glared up at him, staying silent. “Oh, so now you’re quiet.”
You bristled. “Well what do you want me to say?” you snapped.
“Apologise,” he ordered.
You scoffed. “No.”
“Sorry, maybe I phrased that wrong.” His voice dropped into the tone of an alpha command, “Apologise.”
A soft whine escaped your lips before you could stop it, and you found your body curling in on itself in a desperate attempt to become smaller. You pressed your lips into a hard line, refusing to obey the command, despite the disobedience making your world spin and your brain turn numb.
Alpha commands were nearly impossible to disobey, especially from a head alpha, but after being raised in the Red Room… well, you couldn’t be expected to be an assassin if an alpha could simply command you to not kill them. The suppressants helped too, you imagined.
Steve gave you a strange look, and you met his gaze with steely resolve, though your body ached with the incomplete order. You saw his eyes dart to Natasha briefly, and she must have done something, because the head alpha relaxed his posture and sighed. “Someone has to go with you.”
“I can look after myself,” you muttered stiffly, though you already knew you wouldn’t be able to change the alpha’s mind. But you weren’t going to back down the moment he agreed to compromise. You wouldn’t make it that easy for him. The words were like sandpaper against your throat, and it physically hurt to get them out. Your body trembled slightly from your muscles being so tense.
“I don’t care. Nat, you free?”
“Yeah,” the other alpha said, looking over at you with a concerned look as she took in your tense body language. You met her gaze with a glare but stayed still for only a second before hurriedly exiting the room.
You don’t know when the tears started flowing. It was harder to ignore an alpha command than you remembered, but the aftereffects hadn’t changed much. You just made it to your room before you dropped to your knees, trying your best to contain your sobs. This pain wasn’t permanent, you knew. It would go away. You just needed time.
And you were right. Half an hour later, your tears had dried, and though you were still doubled over on the floor, the pain in your body had now dulled to a mildly throbbing headache.
Natasha watched as Y/N felt the effects of the alpha command, and anger began to make her blood boil. She gave Steve a ‘what the fuck?’ look as the omega struggled to not carry out the command. Natasha’s brow furrowed. Not that she doubted the omega’s strength, but it was nearly impossible to disobey an alpha command, especially one from a head alpha. It would take some serious training and repetition to be able to pull it off too, at least for long enough to get away from the alpha. The only other place she’d seen a refusal happen successfully was… no, there was probably someone on the streets she’d picked it up from. That was the most likely explanation.
When Y/N exited the room in a hurry, Steve looked as if he wanted to go after her, but Nat quickly said, “Leave her be. She won’t want you around now, and quite frankly, I don’t blame her. Bruce or Tony can go check on her in half an hour if we haven’t heard any word.” Her voice was cold. “What the hell were you thinking Steve? That was fucked up, and you know it.”
“I-“
“No,” Natasha interrupted, standing abruptly to tower over the alpha across from her. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care if you’re head alpha, that was not okay in the slightest.”
“I know, I know,” Steve said, running a hand through his hair. “I got caught up in the moment. It won’t happen again.”
“It’d better not,” Nat snapped. With that, she spun around and stalked off, Wanda trailing behind not long after to check on her.
You were a couple hours into your shift, and the bar had just started getting busy. You eyed Natasha, who sat quietly in the darkest corner of the room with a shot glass in front of her. A shot that she hadn’t yet touched, despite it having been hours by now. You huffed, only just realising that the drink you were making was about to overflow. You quickly shut off the tap and put the last drink on the tray before coming out from behind the bar.
Making your way through the busy bar felt like a dance some nights. A dance to avoid the grabby hands of drunken, unmated alphas, and stay out of the way of any patrons trying to get to a table. You found your way to the booth that had ordered the drinks and started unloading them, looking over your shoulder every now and again out of nerves alone. You never said you liked the job, but there were only so many jobs an omega could get, and Bullet had pulled strings with the owner to get you here.
It was a bad night tonight. You’d had three hands on your ass, two alphas had grabbed you by the hair, and a further four had tried to corner you. And it was only nine o’clock. You were thankful that Natasha hadn’t seen any of this as of yet, most of the attempts having been out of her line of sight, but god it was infuriating, and you just didn’t have the patience for it today.
Distracted by the rest of your surroundings, you hadn’t noticed the alpha’s hand snaking towards yours until he grabbed your wrist. You smiled at him sweetly. You could tell he wasn’t drunk. He was just an ass.
“Please let go of me. I have an alpha.”
“Oh yeah?” he said. “I don’t see a mark or collar.”
You took a deep breath before taking your free arm and wrapping your hand around his pinky, your thumb on the side of his nail, and twisting. A sickening crunch and a yell from the alpha signified his broken finger, but the mission was accomplished. He’d let go of your hand. You stared at him emotionlessly.
“Would you like anything else?” you ask, as if you hadn’t just broken the man’s finger.
“Bitch!” he swore at you, cradling his injured hand. His buddies stood up, and you raised an eyebrow.
“Do you guys really want to go there?” you asked with a sigh.
“Kneel,” one said, voice dipping low. Your head swam as you recognised him using his alpha-voice. That was a ballsy move. And illegal too. It was illegal to alpha command an omega that wasn’t in your pack.
Most omegas, you knew, would have dropped instantly. But you weren’t most omegas. You’d been trained in the damn Red Room. So whilst your knees shook slightly, they didn’t quite give out. You took a deep, steadying breath. You could handle this. You’d been through worse.
The alpha grabbed your arm, shocking you back into reality. Your eyes widened at his sudden proximity. “I said,” he growled. “Kn-“
You drove a knee into his groin before he could finish the command, and when he doubled over reflexively, you slammed your elbow up into his face. A crack sounded, and the tables around you went silent, but you barely noticed, because the other alpha had rushed at you, forcing you to pivot away from him. You stuck your leg out, tripping the tipsy alpha and causing him to fall onto an empty table.
You quickly backed away from the scene, not willing to be further involved in a fight with more alphas. You backed right into a solid chest, and spun around, your heart jumping into your throat before you recognised your manager. Your very angry manager, whose gaze was fixed on the alpha’s who’d harassed you. Mike, your manager, had become almost a father figure in the years you’d been working at his bar.
He placed a protective arm around your shoulders as he spoke to the alphas, “Get out of my bar if you think you have a right to alpha command my employees.” The three alphas stalked away through the crowd, glaring at anyone who so much as looked at them.
You’d been so focused on the alphas that you hadn’t even noticed Natasha approaching, having realised what the commotion was about. That is, you didn’t notice until her arm was roughly shoving the bar manager away, making the almost-sixty-year-old stumble.
“Don’t touch her,” she growled, snaking an arm around your waist protectively.
“What the hell, Nat,” you snapped pushing her away indignantly. “We had it handled.” You hurried over to Mike, muttering an apologetic ‘are you okay?’.
The older man smiled and nodded, “You must be one of her new alphas I’ve heard so much about.” Yeah, you thought, that I’ve been complaining about for a solid five hours. “Go home kid. I’ll have your shift taken care of.” You opened your mouth to argue, but he cut you off before you could even begin. “He just tried to alpha command you twice. Go. Home.”
“He’s right, Y/N. Let’s go,” Natasha said, taking your arm and trying to guide you out. You ripped your hand from her grasp.
“Just for the record,” you snapped, “I’m leaving because my boss told me to, not you.”
Natasha bristled as you pushed past her to make your way to the exit. The two of you walked in tense silence as her irritation permeated the air.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked, breaking the silence. Her voice still held a trace of the irritation, but it no longer possessed the outright aggression that had been present earlier. You glanced over to her, but her gaze was fixed straight ahead of you.
“Nothing,” you said simply.
“Liar,” she said, though it was with a teasing glint in her eye and a small smirk on her face. Your tense muscles relaxed slightly. “I’m sorry.” You looked up at her, confused. “I overreacted in there. I know you can handle yourself, I just- no, sorry, that’s an excuse. I know you can handle yourself, and I’m sorry that I didn’t let you do so.”
You were mildly surprised at her words, but you were highly grateful for them. Alphas apologising was good. It meant that they know right from wrong and weren’t afraid to admit it when they were the latter. Alphas that don’t are the ones you need to worry about.
“It’s alright. This is weird for everyone involved, I guess.”
“What’s weird?” Natasha asked.
“Having someone protecting me. It’s weird.” You shoved your hands in your pocket and looked down. “I mean, sure I had my friends on the streets before, but they weren’t always there – even if they were, it wasn’t always worth it to get involved in someone else’s affairs –, and Mike’s obviously just there when I’m at work. It’s just weird that now I’m always with you, or Steve, or Bucky, probably Wanda as I spend more time with you guys. I’m not used to having people, much less people that actually care about my wellbeing.”
“Well, you should get used to it. We aren’t going anywhere.”
You paused as you reached a corner. If you turned right, you’d be headed back to the Tower, but if you continued straight… you’d be at the warehouse.
“Can I… can I catch up to you?”
“It’s dark, you’re not going anywhere alone. I’ll come with you,” Nat’s tone was stern.
You hesitated. It felt wrong to bring anyone who wasn’t Bullet to the warehouse. The place was private. It was your sanctuary. Somehow you felt like the moment you showed it to someone from the outside it would stop being your safe place. It would lose what made it special. It would lose that familiar feeling, that safe, warm, comforting feeling. And it would feel empty, lonely, cold.
“Please Nat. I just want to make a quick stop. It’s nowhere I haven’t been before, and I’ll be careful.” You looked at her with pleading eyes, but her mood didn’t shift.
“I either come with you, or you don’t go at all.”
You clenched your jaw and turned the corner silently. This whole ‘not allowed to go anywhere alone’ business was going to get very tiring very quickly.
“What’s that?” you looked up to see Nat pointing at you. You followed her gaze, confused, only to realise that you’d rolled up your sleeves earlier in your shift and now the bruise that Steve had left there was showing. You quickly pulled your sleeve down, cursing yourself for having forgotten about it. Natasha cut you off, standing in front of you to block your path. “Hey, hold on,” she said softly. For once, you weren’t intimidated by an alpha purposefully blocking your path. You knew that if you really wanted to leave, Nat wouldn’t stop you.
She grabbed your wrist gently, and you almost pulled away, but her touch was so warm and pleasant. And she was so tender too. She was close – so close that you had to fight the urge to lean your head on her shoulder. Her scent was sweet in your nose, and you subtly breathed in deeply in an attempt to imprint it on your memory.
Natasha rolled up your sleeve slowly, overly wary of hurting you, and you knew when she realised what the mark on your arm was by the way her scent shifted into a more bitter one tinted with anger and by the way her body stiffing conspicuously. You stepped back, a little unnerved by the change whilst being so close to her. She softened almost immediately, clamping down on her scent a little so it wouldn’t be so overwhelming for you.
“Y/N, that’s a nasty bruise,” she said softly. “Who gave it to you?” You didn’t want to lie to her, but you couldn’t help but feel you’d get in trouble with Steve if you ratted him out, so you shifted uncomfortably. Besides, she’d probably defend him anyway. “What’s wrong?” she asked, sensing your anxiety.
“Steve,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. Natasha did a double take. “He- he didn’t mean it,” you added quickly. “I think he just forgot that he’s stronger than normal.”
“That’s no excuse,” Natasha said firmly. You looked up at her, mildly surprised with this. Loads of alphas bruised their omegas. It wasn’t that big of a deal. Natasha seemed to force her body language to stay gentle as she said, “I’ll talk to him later. That’s not okay and he knows it.”
You let out a relieved breath, feeling strangely reassured by her protectiveness. “Thank you.”
Natasha shook her head, “You don’t have to thank me for the bare minimum. I know things haven’t been easy on you so far, and we haven’t really done anything to help with that, but if there’s anything we can do to make you more comfortable, let us know, okay?”
You smiled a little, leaning forwards to lean against her in a wordless show of appreciation. She wrapped her arms around you, though kept her grip loose enough that if you wanted to wiggle out of it, you could do so with ease. You stood there for a while, breathing in her scent and savouring her feeling of her embrace. This felt so much better than a normal hug. It made you feel safe, protected, like the outside world didn’t exist.
“We should head home Золотце,” she said softly.
You chuckled, “Darling? Really?”
“Oh come on,” she whined teasingly, “Nightshade gets to give you a nickname, why can’t I?”
You nuzzled against her neck briefly before pulling away. “I don’t mind it,” you admitted, linking your fingers through hers.
You didn’t plan on going to sleep anytime soon. Definitely not. However, you did have a plan. There were pillows under your bedsheets, the room was bathed in darkness, the window to your room was open, and you were balanced precariously on the ledge of the windowsill.
It was by no means safe. The Tower, from what you’d gather from J.A.R.V.I.S, was a mighty ninety-three stories, your bedroom being on the ninetieth. From your calculations, that left about approximately 283.5 metres between you and the concrete below. Then again, you can fly. Well, you think you can, you haven’t done it in years. So now you were crouched on the balls of your feet, debating whether you could figure out how to recreate the miraculous feat you’d done only once what felt like a million years ago before you became akin to a fly on a windscreen.
You sighed, shifted your feet out from under you so you sat on the windowsill, a little more secure. You shouldn’t be so reckless. You blamed your behaviour on the sudden lack of control over your life, but still… you shouldn’t be so stupid. You’d visit the warehouse tomorrow night. During the day, you’d practise using your powers to fly in a safer environment so you could sneak out in a safer way. Yes, that was a much better idea, one that didn’t risk your life nearly as much.
For now, you could use your sleeplessness to simply enjoy the view. It was a gorgeous one for sure. Warm lights blinked at you from the offices and apartment blocks below, car break lights lit the road with angry red dots that looked no bigger that specks of sand on a beach… it was quiet from up here, but you knew that if you were to step down there, to the square where you saw party lights, or to the streets where clubs were alight with life, it would turn to the chaos of celebration. It was strange – how perspective could change so much. Some people were having the time of their lives right now, drunk as hell, making decisions they’d regret in the morning but lived for in the moment. Then there were the people struggling to live, the omegas being abused, people clinging to life in hospitals. It was strange to think that the smallest thing can change your life forever.
“Y/N? What are you doing on the ledge?” you turned your head to the side at the sound of Wanda’s voice, a lazy grin making its way onto your features. The expression was gone as quickly as it had appeared, and you turned away, leaning your head on the side of the window.
“I’m not going to jump if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“You could hurt yourself.”
“You’re not the only one in this tower who can fly,” you muttered. You didn’t feel the need to mention that you were probably a lot crappier at it than she was.
You felt her approach you but didn’t move. She carefully climbed out and sat beside you. She wore a long cardigan, and fiddled with the sleeves, looking down at her hands as she sat in silence. She was cute, you’d give the alpha that much.
“I didn’t make you uncomfortable the other night, did I? At the movie night,” you met her gaze, and the genuine concern in her green eyes was heart-warming.
You smiled a little. “No, no not at all. I have this- this thing about people touching me.” You scoffed at yourself. “Sorry, it’s stupid. I suppose part of it’s just… a lot of change in not a lot of time.”
She nodded, breaking eye contact and going back to fiddling with her sleeves. “I get it. I do. And I don’t mean that like the rest of the pack do, I…” she took a shaky breath. “My brother, Pietro, and I, we were homeless for a few years. There was a bomb that blew up our home and our parents, so…”
She trailed off, but you didn’t push for more. You knew that even divulging that much would have been tricky for the generally quiet woman. You out your hand on hers, putting a stop to her fidgeting.
“You fiddle a lot,” you murmured, a faint smile on your lips as you pulled one of her hands towards you to fiddle with her rings. You stiffened as her free hand brushed a few strands of stray hair behind your ear, turning away from the contact and pulling your hands away from hers to put them in your lap.
“I’m sorry,” Wanda apologised quickly, her anxiety rolling off her in waves. “I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you cut her off, shaking your head. “It’s fine. I’m sorry. I’m just… not used to this. Any of this.” You gestured around you. The two of you drifted into a silence. You couldn’t quite tell whether you could call it a comfortable silence – not with the slight tension in the air – but it wasn’t quite uncomfortable.
“I hated Tony at first,” Wanda reflected, changing the topic away from you a little in an attempt to make the tension between the two of you dissipate. You were grateful for the shift, and you were sure that’s why she’d done it. “When I realised that Nat was in the same pack as him, I resented it. I pushed him away and blamed him for my parents’ deaths – it was a Stark Industries bomb that killed my home. It wasn’t his fault, of course. I still blamed him.”
“Where’s your brother now?” you asked tentatively, sneaking a glance at the alpha. Her body stiffened almost imperceptibly, and you noted in the back of your mind that she began fiddling again.
“He’s dead. He- he died.” Her voice was strained, and you felt a pang of pity for the woman. You shifted and hesitantly lay your head on her shoulder and took one of her hands in yours to play with her rings gently. You knew what it was like for someone so close to you to die, so you supposed you felt a little sympathy for her. You had to focus a little – you hadn’t done it in so long – to give off calming pheromones. The moment you did, you felt Wanda physically relax beside you, and your inner omega purred proudly. In fact, you almost purred. You cut yourself off before the sound could reach the alpha’s ears, but this… this comfortable silence and company, it felt nice.
You closed your eyes, breathing in Wanda’s scent. It brought you to a far-distant memory. One almost forgotten, but not quite. You strained to remember. You’d been in the Red Room at the time, and for all the pain and suffering that that place had caused you, it hadn’t been all bad. There’d been moments – diamonds in the rough – where you’d been almost happy. One of those moments had been when you were ten, before you’d presented. Your class had been on a fieldtrip of sorts. The memory was one of your favourite – granted, one of the only good – memories of the Red Room. Your class had been dumped in the middle of the woods and been told ‘survive for a week’. The instructors had then left a group of ten-year-olds in this birch-wood forest. You remembered collecting things for shelters as the other girls hunted, found water, found things you could use as first-aid in case of an emergency. The location had obviously been carefully chosen, with fresh water nearby and a good place to camp. Later that night, you and the other girls had grouped together, and you remembered eating warm meat over a fire, sharing stories and laughter with the other girls. That moment of kinship was rare in the Red Room – you had to compete with the other girls so much, so hard, simply for the right to survive. But in that moment, you’d felt almost normal. Wanda’s scent reminded you of that night. The smoky, but slightly sweet scent that birch was renowned for giving off, almost wintergreen even.
You hummed comfortably, shifting closer to Wanda and burrowing your face into the crook of her neck to get closer to her scent glands. You loved the scent. You didn’t complain as Wanda’s free arm snaked around your back to let you snuggle closer, though she didn’t hold you, instead bracing her hand on the windowsill. You realised that she was giving you the option to pull away if you wanted to, but you didn’t want to, so you guided her hand around your waist to let her hold you.
“And here I was thinking you didn’t like physical contact like this,” she muttered in your ear, humour in her tone.
“I changed my mind,” you murmured back, “you smell nice.”
“You’re purring,” Wanda pointed out. You realised she was right, and the previously consistent rumble ground to a sudden stop. “Hey,” Wanda complained softly, starting to trace patterns on your arm with her hand. “it was sweet. I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I knew you were going to stop.”
You hummed lightly before reluctantly resuming the noise. After a moment, when you felt your limbs start to get heavy with tiredness, you sat up.
“What’s up?” Wanda asked, confused by your sudden movement.
“We shouldn’t sit on the windowsill of a ninety-storey building when we’re tired.”
“You’re probably right.” The two of you clambered back inside. “Do you want me to stay?” Wanda asked hopefully.
You avoided eye contact, and this seemed to be an answer enough for the alpha.
“Okay,” she sighed, trying to mask her disappointment. “No worries. Feel free to knock on my door anytime though, okay?”
“Yeah. Thanks Wanda.” You watched with a slight ache in your chest as she left. Part of you wanted her to stay, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep. Not with a near-stranger right next to you, never mind that she’s an alpha too. So, you forced yourself to let her leave, and got yourself ready for bed.