maybe
“You wanna come back with me?” Steve asked, after explaining his plan to Bucky about how he’s gonna go back to Peggy, and give Sam the shield. Bucky chuckled. “Hell no. I have everything I want right here.” Bucky said, eyes fixed on a photo of him and Sam framed on his dresser from Bucharest. “I guess you do. Thanks, Buck, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.” and the line went dead. Bucky set his phone down, resting his head against the wall. He really did have everything he wanted. It was almost too good to be true. Sometimes he felt like he didn’t deserve this peace, this calm, this love. But he had it, so that said something.
He heard the front door of the apartment open. Sam was home. Bucky got off the bed, making his way out of the room.
“Hey.” Sam said from the kitchen, packing away the groceries. “Hey.” Bucky said with a smile, moving into the kitchen. “I assume you’re going tomorrow.” Bucky took a deep breath, leaning against the counter. Sam shut the fridge, abandoning the groceries. “Buck.” Sam raised an eyebrow at him, moving towards the taller man. “He hated me, Sam.” Bucky argued, which was true, Tony hated him, Bucky doubted he’d want his parent's murderer at his funeral.
“Buck, I know you never really got to apologize for it, but he knew it wasn’t you. I’m sure during the 7 years of sitting on the information, he started thinking rationally. Steve did the same, and, uh, Nat.” Sam said quietly, a painful twinge going through his body when he muttered Nat’s name. A softer look came over Bucky’s eyes, and brought his metal hand up to brush Sam’s cheek gently. “I know. I just…” there was no good reason for Bucky to not come, and he could tell this mattered to Sam. From what Sam said, he didn’t know Tony well, but he clearly wanted to go. It was only fair to Tony. “Ok.” Bucky agreed, and Sam almost looked surprised. “Wait, really?” Sam asked, a smile creeping onto his lips. “Yeah, I’ll go.” Bucky said, a small smile on his face. “Great, but please shower, no one wants to see that greasy mop.”
Bucky’s eyes went wide in false shock. “Hey! I was snapped out of existence, if you would recall.” Bucky countered, and Sam just shook his head, moving away to go put more groceries away. “Yeah, so was I, yet I still look flawless.” Sam said with a smirk. Bucky rolled his eyes. “Can’t argue with that.” he muttered under his breath, and Sam whipped his head around.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.” Bucky said quickly, causing Sam to chuckle. Yeah, this was all Bucky needed.
~~~~~~~~~
Sam lied in bed that night, unable to fall asleep. Between the funeral, and Nat, it was a lot. He stared at the ceiling, letting himself drown in his thoughts. It wasn’t healthy, but that’s how he had started to cope with the information. Emphasis on the not healthy part.
He still couldn't believe that Nat was gone. He didn't get to say goodbye, thank her for everything she had done for him, because she had done a lot. She would never really know what she did for him, what she meant to him. Sam felt himself breathing faster, jagged breaths, and makes an effort to calm himself down. Bucky’s head was pressed against Sam’s shoulder, and his metal arm placed over Sam’s torso, so he could easily wake up.
“Sam?” Bucky mumbled sleepily on his shoulder, lifting his head to look at his boyfriend. “You ok?” Bucky asked, resting his chin on Sam’s shoulder. Sam took a deep breath. “Yeah, yeah, I just have a lot of things going through my mind right now.” Sam explained shortly, because he really didn’t want to go into it at 3 in the morning. “You wanna talk?” Bucky inquired. “Not tonight.” Sam replied, and Bucky nodded. “Ok, goodnight love.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Right now, Sam, Bucky, Bruce and Steve stood in the forest a little ways away from what used to be the avengers compound, preparing Steve to return all the stones. Steve still looked a bit rough from the funeral, Sam didn’t really know if he should be going on a time heist, but it’s not his concern.
“Remember you have to return all the stones to the exact moment you got ‘em, or you’re gonna open up a bunch of nasty alternative realities.” Bruce explained. “Don’t worry Bruce. Clip all the branches.”
“You know, I tried. When I had the gauntlet, the stones, I really tried to bring her back.” Sam looked at the ground, desperately wanting them to change the subject. He was still trying to process it all, and didn’t want to hear a casual conversation about her being gone. Sam looked up again, and found Bucky’s steel blue looking at him, a small smile on his lips. Sam smiled back, and quickly turned his head when he heard the conversation was over, thankfully, and Steve began to walk over. Sam followed him over, a smile still on his face.
“You know, if you want, I could come with you.” Sam said, an eyebrow raised. Steve turned to him, a smile on his face. “You’re a good man, Sam. This one’s on me though.” Sam nodded, and watched as Steve made his way over to Bucky.
~~~~~~~~
“Sam.” Bucky called out in the frantic panic taking place. Sam looked over at Bucky, and saw a figure by the lake. He made his way over with Bucky beside him. Is that… is that Steve? “Go ahead.” Bucky said simply, and Sam turned to face him, and Bucky just smiled, looking at Sam like he hung the moon and the stars. Sam walked over to Steve, confused by this entire thing. What did he do? “Cap?”
~~~~~~~~~~~
“Try it on.” Sam was taken aback by the statement. He couldn’t… he wasn’t. He stared at the shield, before looking back at Bucky. Bucky. If anyone could help him through this it’d be Bucky. He always could give Sam advice, he’d know how to help. Bucky just nodded his head, understanding exactly what Sam was asking, only with a look. He was asking can I do this?. He could. He thinks he can. Bucky thinks he can. Sam went to pick up the shield, still a bit in shock. Well, maybe a bit was an understatement He looked down at the shield on his arms and sighed, feeling tears welling in his eyes.
“How does it feel?”
“Like it’s someone else.”
“It isn’t.”
Sam took a deep breath in. This was his. This was his reality. Now, he had to make a decision, and he didn’t know what he was gonna do. There were too many thought going through his head. “Thank you, I’ll do my best.” he really would.
~~~~~~~~~~
“You knew he was gonna do that, didn’t you?” Sam asked immediately when he and Bucky hopped into Sam’s truck, headed home, the shield in the backseat. “Well, I… yes.” Bucky admitted, and Sam shook his head, chuckling softly. “How are you, with well, everything?” Bucky asked, a hand resting on Sam’s knee. Sam sighed, not taking his eyes off the road. “I- I don’t know. I mean, he’s gone. Steve’s gone. And now, now I have this giant responsibility, I don’t know how I’m gonna handle it all.” Sam said, and Bucky nodded. “You don’t have to handle it by yourself, or handle it all at the same time.” Bucky assured him, and Sam nodded. “I know.”
The rest of the car ride was comfortable silence between them, and Sam was thankful for that. He really needed to get his thoughts figured out and organized. This was a lot for one day, and they were just getting started.
Bucky knew to give Sam space, it was a lot to have your friend of years leaves you, followed by them giving you one of the biggest mantle someone could carry. Bucky couldn’t even imagine the stress Sam’s under.
~~~~~~~~
Sam set the shield down on the table, and immediately collapsed onto the couch. Bucky chuckled behind him, shutting the door. He draped one of his cashmere blankets over top of Sam, and heard him sigh in content. “You need anything?” Bucky asked softly, sitting down on the ground, his head resting besides Sam on the couch. “I need a break.” Sam said, and Bucky chuckled softly. “Fair. Wanna watch Star Wars?” Bucky suggested, bringing the remote down from the table. Sam rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “How old are you?”
“Hey! I remember the day you showed me these movies, you cannot talk. You said to me ‘Say hello to Star Wars, some of the best movies in history.’”
“I did not!”
“You did!” Bucky protested, a wide grin on his face. Sam laughed, running a hand through Bucky’s hair. “That did not happen. How do you remember that?” Sam questioned, an eyebrow raised. Bucky’s grin turned into a small smile, running a hand over their coffee table. “It was the day we went furniture shopping, in Bucharest.” Bucky explained, hoping to help jog Sam’s memory.
It clearly worked, when a fond smile slipped onto Sam’s face. “Oh, yeah.” Sam said, almost dreamily.
“You did not know how to put that bed together.” Bucky recalled, and Sam gasped in mock offence. “I did!”
“That was not where the bolt went.”
“Yes it was!”
“It most certainly was not.”
Sam rolled his eyes, laughing at how after everything, they could still remember small little things from before. Before everything happened. Bucky ended up laughing too, and they almost forgot about turning on Star Wars. Almost.
~~~~~~~~~
They ended up falling asleep there, the credits rolling in the background, with Sam’s head on Bucky’s shoulder. Sam knew that taking on the shield was gonna be difficult, and he still wasn’t sure if he was going to take it on, but if he had Bucky, maybe everything would work out. It was a big maybe. Maybe, maybe, maybe.