Chapter 11
“What the hell do you mean just give it a thought?! He’s a wanted criminal, Y/N!” Austin shouts at me. I was going around making sure everyone was ready for church so that when Austin got home we could load in and head into town.
I tried my best to explain things about James in the limited time but Austin didn’t react the same way the others did. Instead he's mad, angry, upset, you name it, he’s showing it.
“Austin, please. There’s a lot more lying underneath the surface than you think. He didn’t choose to be the Winter So-”
“He’s dangerous!! He could kill any one of us at any moment!! He could harm Katie with that damn arm of his!” Austin shouts in my face.
“Josh, take Katie upstairs please.” I turn quickly to the two seeing the fear in Katie’s face by Austin's harsh words.
“Don’t talk about James like that!!” Katie runs up to Austin, hitting his stomach over and over with her tiny little fists.
“See what he’s doing? She’s even choosing him over her own family!” Austin pushes Katie away from him, Josh catching her before she hits the ground. Josh picks her up and rushes upstairs with Ryan close behind them.
“She’s not choosing anyone over this family, Austin!! Watch your words!” I shout back.
“You can’t welcome a known murderer into this house!!”
“And who says you’re in charge here!? Huh?! I’m the oldest which means I’m the one incharge!!” I point to myself. “This is my house, Austin!!”
“I’m the man of this house and I say he isn’t welcome here!” I scoff at his words. It’s not like he tried helping me raise these three. He doesn’t get a say on who's in control here. Not after ditching me and the kids for parties.
“You get no say and I mean absolutely no say on who's in control here!! You don’t have that right!! You left me to raise three kids on my own!! Even after raising you !!”
“Don’t you fucking dare try and turn this around on me!” Austin pushes at me.
“I’m not turning this on you Austin. I’m stating facts. You left me to raise three kids while you partied all the time. I was left to raise children on my own!!” I shout at him. Anger and hurt flash across his face but it disappears as fast as it came.
“You don’t know what I was going through!! How do you expect me to act when your parents fucking abandon you?! Huh?!”
“I do know!! I’m the first one that was abandoned!! Dad was never there for me growing up!! Neither was mom!! Dad was a deadbeat sleeping around and drinking instead of attending his own daughter's birthdays!! Mom was too busy shooting herself up and getting high to even notice her own daughter was starving!!! At least you got both of them in your life!! I had to raise myself!! I had no one!!” I wipe away my tears. Now is not the time to be crying. I refuse to be weak.
“You had people!! You had Matthew!! I only had alcohol!!”
“I had no one!! I’m the failure of this family Austin!! The first born, the first abandoned, the first and only failure!!”
“You had Matthew!!” He shouts at me, his voice rising higher and harsher than before.
“I didn’t have him!! He was never there for me!! He used me!! He beat me!! That’s not being there for someone!! He-” A sob catches in my throat, past memories creeping up. Suddenly I can’t breathe. I look at Austin and see the horror seep into his eyes. I can see the puzzle pieces coming together. Now the bruises, broken hands, black eyes, busted lips and everything else make sense.
“Y/N.” I feel a cold hand on my shoulder and a warm one on my back. I turn to look at James, his eyes full of concern.
“Get away from her.” Austin growls, poorly attempting to push James away from me. Tears are welling in his eyes. “Please. I need to be there for her.” Austin pleads with James.
James gently lets go of me and steps back. I can't hear myself but I can tell I’m sobbing from the way my body's shaking, my throat raw.
Austin opens his arms to me, wrapping me in a protective hug.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t see it Y/N. I’m so sorry.” His voice breaks, pulling me closer. He holds my head to his shoulder, one arm around my shoulders and one on my head.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for not protecting you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Austin keeps repeating. I feel his tears fall onto my shoulder, guilt setting in.
After several minutes Austin and I both calm down and are sitting on the couch. We don’t speak for a while until Austin takes the charge and asks the first question.
“Was he always like…..did he always treat you like that?”
“No, not in the beginning. It was a gradual...a gradual change.” I swallow the lump in my throat willing myself to finally speak up.
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Austin pleads.
“How do you tell the town police that the head sheriff's son is abusing you and…. Do you think they’d believe me? Only a couple people from high school know.” I look down at my hands ashamed of myself.
“Why did you wait till now to talk about it?” I paid for a moment, now knowing why. This was something I was going to take to my grave. I was ashamed of myself for not being the strong person everyone thought I was. I didn’t want to face Matthew. Not after everything happened.
“I don’t know. I was in town the other day and Mary Ann said I had demons I needed to face. I guess…..I guess that gave me the push to finally talk about it.” I turn away from Austin, feeling pathetic. It wasn’t that long ago that I broke up with Matthew, but it still feels like yesterday that all of this was happening. It was a toxic abusive relationship I was too scared to leave. But I found the courage, the strength to stand up for myself and make that decision. Yea it was hard and took a lot of convincing, but I knew I couldn’t stay there forever. If I did then I’d probably end up dead.
“We can talk about Bucky tomorrow. Right now I want you to take care of yourself and face what you need to. Maybe it’s time to seek a therapist or maybe even the authorities.”
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Word Count: 1121