The Most Good
When Sylvie met Natasha in the lobby the other woman grinned at her slyly, noting the radiant warmth coming off of her friend. They headed out to a cafe Natasha liked and ordered lunch. They were sat at a tall table eating, joking and chatting amiably about the night before. Eventually Sylvie felt a strange sense of something being off, an almost reticence in her friend.
“What is it?”
Natasha studied her for a moment, thankfully not insulting Sylvie by pretending there wasn’t something on her mind.
“A lot has happened over the last six years. A lot of pain, a lot of emptiness, and a lot of change. I’m not the person I was before the blip, I don’t think any of us are… the ones who were left behind. But for all the unrest and confusion, this last year has been filled with a lot more good than bad—and I know how much of that I owe to you, and to Loki.”
“Well I know he was pretty deep in the red with the people of earth, so I’m glad you feel his debt has been cleared.” Sylvie said with a casual smile.
“It has,” Natasha said distractedly.
Sylvie eyed her friend, “But…?”
“During those long five years after Thanos, I served as a sort of intelligence intermediary. We were left so fractured by everyone we lost that those who remained had to work together, I suppose that was one positive side effect… we pulled together because we had to…”
“Earth’s foreign nations?”
“Among others… but yes, and intelligence agencies who might otherwise not have been so happy to cooperate. I made valuable new connections, and I kept my files on our missing Avengers up to date...”
Sylvie scrutinized Natasha’s face, growing impatient of this lead up.
“What are you avoiding saying, Tash?”
“There was only one of us on Earth who Thanos killed with his bare hands—someone who wasn’t returned after the blip… but the person who loved him most did, and she’s gone AWOL.”
“And why are you telling me?”
“You made such a difference in my life, Sylvie,” Natasha sighed a heavy exhale, “I just thought perhaps you might relate to her... She was orphaned at ten, then lost her brother and was consumed with grief. But she healed and fell in love, became an Avenger, and helped us fight Thanos… until he took what mattered most to her. Then she and half the world were snapped out of existence, and when she returned, she was the only one who wasn’t reunited with her love. It broke her—and now, she’s living off the grid and far too dangerous for any civilian to approach.”
“But you think I might have better luck? Really? I’m not the best with new people,” Sylvie looked incredulous, “and as we’ve clearly seen most Avengers usually want to take a swing at Loki the minute he shows up.”
“I know, but you are—uniquely qualified—she has abilities, like yours and Loki’s…” Natasha pulled a file out from her bag and pushed it across the table to Sylvie.
“‘Telepathy, Telekinesis, Transmutation… Extremely volatile—do not approach’?” Sylvie leveled Natasha with a skeptical glare, “if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were trying to get me killed.”
Natasha smirked with mild amusement, “Good thing you do know better, besides—I thought Gods weren’t afraid of anything?”
Sylvie rolled her eyes, “I’m not afraid, just practical. And don’t call me that, Loki is the one who gets off on it, not me.”
“Fair enough,” Natasha conceded and lifted her coffee to her lips patiently.
After a moment of silence Sylvie fidgeted and opened the file again, “Where did you get this anyway? I thought you said your silly agency was called ‘Shield’?”
Natasha nodded and swallowed slowly, “I did work for S.H.I.E.L.D, but this file is from S.W.O.R.D, a division focused primarily on extraterrestrial threats.”
“So why did they have a file on this… ‘Wanda Maximoff’? It says here that she’s human…?”
Natasha smiled wryly, “Good question. I got a tip from a friend of Dr Selvig, she reached out because of my connection to S.H.I.E.L.D asking about their involvement. I promised her I would look into it on my end, but the situation escalated and devolved before I could do much.”
Sylvie caught the distant and rueful look in Natasha’s eyes before she banished it quickly.
“To make a long story short, Wanda was left grief stricken and fled. Without any new leads on her whereabouts the trail ran cold, and not long after, I met Matt...”
Natasha smiled softly, “We started dating, and eventually decided we both needed a fresh start, so we came here.” The smile faded as she nodded toward the folder in Sylvie’s hands.
“Don’t ask me why, but I kept the files… something about it just never felt right. So I’m giving them to you. You and Loki stand a better chance, and you personally can relate to what she’s gone through. So please, take the files. Look them over, and just think about it.”
Sylvie sighed wearily as she looked over the top of the folder at her friend who was now regarding her like a cat patiently awaiting It’s meal.
“You gave me a second chance, and it’s given me a whole new life. Now I’m passing on the gesture for someone who needs it—badly. I’d hate to see what happens if the wrong people find her first… she won’t go quietly… and she doesn’t deserve to.”
Sylvie closed the folder and set it on the table, furrowing her brow at it. She eventually looked up at Natasha warily.
“I’ll take the file, and I’ll talk to Loki—but I can’t promise anything. You know what a stroppy git he can be…”
“Of course, think it over,” Natasha smirked, “But Sylvie please, we both know there isn’t a thing on this Earth or any other that man wouldn’t do if you wanted him to.”
They finished their meal, moving away from the subject of the dangerous missing woman. Sylvie asked Natasha about her work with the nonprofit helping people affected by the blip and teased her about her nighttime crime fighting with Matt. She told Natasha about the planets they’d visited since she last saw her, but avoided mentioning how short the time had been for her with a strange reluctance.
Sylvie would already live far longer than Natasha could imagine, but she felt strangely guilty to be able to step through her life without having to wait a fraction of the time. It seemed almost as if Natasha could hear her friend’s thoughts as she smiled softly.
“It’s good to see you… I hope you don’t take this favor I asked as a reluctance to enjoy your visit, I just—I want to know I’ve done the most good with the time I have.”
“Is that more inspiration from your lover boy?” Sylvie teased wryly and Natasha grinned.
“It was actually something from yours,” she said softly.
Sylvie was a little caught off guard and gave a half hearted little laugh, “Perhaps not the wisest source for inspiration…”
“I don’t know, he has his moments,” Natasha shrugged, then grinned even harder at the way Sylvie tried and failed to brush off the little flutter in her heart as she remembered Loki’s words of conviction.
They paid their bill and went for a short walk, Natasha showing Sylvie some of the sights. She eventually brought her back to the hotel knowing full well how impatient Sylvie’s counterpart would be to have her back. Natasha hugged her warmly, instructing her to get a regular cell phone to keep in touch before saying goodbye.
When Sylvie quietly slipped back into the room she was grateful to see Loki still in bed. She set the file Natasha had given her on the table near the entrance and walked back over to him. As she approached Loki stretched leisurely and yawned with a contented smile.
“What a lay-about you are, my spoiled prince,” she teased playfully and took a seat near the end of the bed.
“Mmm, you left me spent this morning, what else was I to do but sleep and lie in wait for you?” He shrugged and gestured vaguely before quirking a devious grin.
With a little flick of the wrist Loki made her blouse slowly disappear in a ripple of green light and eyed her appreciatively. Sylvie looked down at her bosom now clad only in a soft lacy bralette and raised a brow at him.
“You know, I quite liked that top,” she said reproachfully.
Loki rolled his eyes and flicked his wrist petulantly toward the nearby chair, her blouse now reappearing draped on it.
Sylvie shook her head softly and began to get up but Loki caught her wrist gently.
“Love, come here…” he pulled her onto the bed and Sylvie went with a somewhat reluctant sigh. She rested one elbow on the bed beside Loki while he held her hand on his chest and rubbed gentle circles against the back of her palm with his thumb. His brow drew together in concern at the distant look in Sylvie’s eyes, “My love, what has you so far away? Did something happen with Natasha?”
Sylvie let out a long exhale and removed her hand from his grasp to smooth over his chest. Loki’s hand flexed and fidgeted as he studied her face anxiously.
“She told me about someone else who could use our help, and I didn’t promise her anything, but it’s niggling at my brain… I don’t want to think about it right now, but—”
“—But its stuck in your mind,” Loki raised a curious brow, “do you want to tell me…? Or shall I help you forget?”
Sylvie breathed a soft laugh, “Want, no… but if don’t get it out I think I’ll end up pacing the room…”
Loki smiled gently, “well so long as you stay here in my arms, you have my undivided attention.”
Sylvie nodded and heaved a weary sigh before recounting everything Natasha had told her. How this mysterious woman had apparently gone through struggles similar to her own and suffered devastating loss. How she possessed similar powers to both of theirs and had gone missing. She told him everything she’d read in the files while Loki merely stroked her bare shoulders and listened.
Sylvie was conflicted about whether or not to interfere, whether that made her any different than the TVA. It weighed on her that a shadowy government agency like S.W.O.R.D would go to the trouble of monitoring and building a file on this suffering woman rather than help her. It all stank of so much cold bureaucratic indifference and that touched a nerve in her heart.
“I don’t know how to feel about all this, and I don’t know what it makes me if I say no…”
Loki cupped her cheek gently and tipped his head to meet her gaze.
“You don’t have to decide right now, love. Not every burden is yours to carry—your empathy is remarkable, it both humbles and frightens me.”
Sylvie furrowed her brow in confusion.
“Your ability to enchant the minds of others seems to have given you with a deeper connection to their feelings, but if you take on the pain of every person who is suffering, how heavy will that make your shoulders… it pains me to see you so troubled.”
Sylvie let out a frustrated sigh and rested her chin on his bare chest with a pout.
“When I unleashed the free will of time, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind—I guess I didn’t really have a plan past that to be honest. I thought my mission would be over, now I don’t know what’s right anymore…”
Loki traced his fingertips over her shoulder blades and hummed distractedly.
“My love you know full well that ‘right’ is a subjective concept… we do not answer to anyone but ourselves. Allow yourself the freedom you granted to everyone else… and know that whatever your next move, I’ll be by your side.”
Sylvie hummed softly but still looked troubled as the crease between her brow furrowed.
“Hey,” he cupped her cheek and lifted it, waiting patiently for her eyes to meet his. When they did he studied the emotions in her eyes and brushed his thumb gently over her cheekbone. “Come here, close your eyes… let your mind go quiet…”
Sylvie huffed softly but did as he requested and followed as he guided her forehead to press against his. She closed her eyes and tried to let go of the arguments warring in her mind.
“Let your mind go quiet…” he whispered softly.
“Easy for you to say, your brain’s plenty quiet…” she grumbled petulantly earning a little tut of disapproval.
“Hush, just listen to my voice and let it all slip,” he breathed gently and focused on the sound of their breathing. “You are strong, and brilliant, and you know perfectly well that whatever you decide will be ‘right’.”
He kissed her slow and steady then, breathing evenly and mentally sending only love and support to quiet the storm in her mind.
When she opened her eyes the anxiety had dimmed leaving only calm and clarity. Loki smiled at her with pleased contentment feeling certain she would set the idea on the back burner to simmer.
— • — • — • —
Over the next two days Sylvie couldn’t help a slight preoccupation at the back of her mind. They visited Golden Gate park and explored the city, all the while with this growing feeling she couldn’t place.
Sylvie would be laughing with Natasha and teasing Loki when something innocuous would make her suddenly feel guilty for being happy, like she was letting someone down. A lost little girl crying in a department store, a homeless man arguing with inner demons no one else could see, or even just the sight of the old memorial to the vanished—a reminder of the people who had been displaced in time. It wasn’t rational, but ever since Nat had given her the file on Maximoff everything just seemed so frivolous and self indulgent in comparison. Loki would occasionally furrow his brow with curiosity but he never pushed, and Natasha never brought it up despite the fact Sylvie was certain she had noticed.
The next afternoon she told Nat they would be headed off for the remainder of the week. She neglected to specify where, but Natasha knew.
That night they had dinner with her and Matt, the latter seeming far more at ease around the unusual couple. At the end of the night they said their goodbyes and Natasha hugged Sylvie tight, almost painfully so.
“You don’t need to feel guilty,” Natasha whispered into Sylvie’s hair.
Sylvie knit her brow, somehow still surprised that her friend could read her so easily.
“You deserve to be happy, whatever you decide. You’ve done enough, I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t ask the other day, and I thought it might be good for you as well.”
Sylvie looked at Natasha quizzically and her friend shrugged.
“Just a hunch, I could be wrong. You’ll tell me next year, I’m sure.” She smirked a coy smile and Matt gave a lopsided grin as he reached his hand out to Loki easily.
“Mr Laufeyson, can’t say I had ever intended to make your acquaintance, but I’ll admit… I’m glad I did.”
Matt’s tone was reserved but friendly, seemingly at peace with the whole dynamic despite knowing there was more Natasha had not told him.
Loki regarded the man curiously but took the hand all the same.
“Likewise, Murdock. Not that your existence had previously been of consequence to me—” he said haughtily, but relented at the hard stare Sylvie gave him, “yet you are indeed one of the leastboring humans I have ever encountered.”
Matt’s eyebrows rose with surprise and he smirked, “High praise, I’ll have to save that for my epitaph.”
Loki rolled his eyes while Sylvie produced the TemPad, opening an orange portal, and with a final smirk the Gods were off.