Chapter 11
The doctor's appointment went just as the couple suspected it would. Peter was sick, incredibly so. The pediatrician assured them it was curable though. He was only suffering from bond loss, the most deadly sickness to date. Yet he had overcome it before, so what was another try. Apparently, a lot worse the doctors said. His condition needed immediate attention, but they couldn't help him. At that age, Peter was more vulnerable than the majority of those suffering from bond loss. His very first bond, his unconditional love for his Oma would kill him. Without him, he couldn't continue eating or sleeping or even eventually living. His adoptive alphas wanted to hate his Oma for that, for leaving him as he did. But of course, they knew, it wasn't one-sided. Peter's Oma was in just as much pain as he was. Whatever the situation was, it couldn't have been easy.
"For the time being, Peter will have to be admitted. We can regulate his needs better here until there's a permanent solution." The doctor told them solemnly. "I'm sorry, I wish we could do more."
"At this point anythings appreciated, so thank you." Steve replied. "I don't think either of us could care for him like he needs right now."
"Give yourself some credit, most parents wouldn't have made it as far as the both of you have. You took the jump and got him here before things could get worse."
"Yeah, well he got sick again. Clearly, we're not doing as well as you say." Steve heard Bucky mutter. He sounded angry, not at his mate or the doctor but at himself. He knew he was taking the news hard, he just didn't think he had blamed himself.
"Buck- " He tried to say.
"Being a parent isn't easy. Especially in situations like this, but you both are doing well. Your pup is a fighter and he'll pull through just fine. In the meantime, spend some time with him and try to stay calm. He needs you, both of you."
It wasn't that Bucky didn't believe the doctor, but there was no way he couldn't see this as his fault. If only he'd stocked up on more milk, or looked for another omega sitter. Had he actually tried they wouldn't be in this situation. Steve already knew how he felt, he could see the anguish written on his face. It hurt him how badly his mate thought of himself. His words would be of no comfort to him now, not like this while the life of their child was still hanging in the balance.
"It's going to be okay."
"I'm trying to believe that, but I can't help but feel like I messed up somewhere." He confessed. "I mean seriously Steve, he was doing so good and then it all just goes to shit."
"It's a hormonal imbalance Buck, you couldn't possibly be responsible for this. You heard the doctor, these things just happen sometimes."
"Is this all you have left?" Steve asked looking in Nat's freezer. "There's barely enough for a full week."
"It's a work in progress. I have a few extra cases of formula if that'd be better."
After Peter was admitted to the hospital, Steve left to give Bucky some space. His mate wasn't taking the news well, it was understandable but he wasn't ready to give up just yet. So he went back to the omega house just to check if Natasha could help.
"That's not going to cut it, Pete needs milk." He sighed, annoyed at the inconvenience. "What happened to the supply you were giving us before? I thought there was an omega still donating."
"Listen Steve, this is all I have. Take it or leave it."
He scoffed at her tone, surprised she even had the audacity to talk to him like that. The blatant disregard to answer his question didn't go unnoticed either. "Yeah, I'll take it."
She smirked knowingly. "Good, now do me a favor and calm down. You're scenting mad, there's no need to scare my omegas."
He wondered how she could be so oblivious. He wasn't mad, not even a little bit. He'd come to accept that the fate of his child wouldn't be easily fixed. He was upset though, clearly. His face was red and his eyes shined with tears he refused to shed. He was trying so hard to be strong.
"Nat," he tried. "Peter isn't- he's not doing well."
"Still? I thought he was- "
"He might die." He spat nearly in tears. "And there's nothing I can do."
She turned toward him, her face unreadable as she took in his words. "I'm so sorry Steve."
He shrugged, not trusting himself enough not to let out a heartwrenching sob. It was out of his hands, he had accepted it. But that didn't erase the pain. Nat couldn't exactly comfort him, emotions just weren't her thing. Her friend understood that yet still he had chosen to tell her something that was clearly tearing him apart. Had she not been so caught up in avoiding the topic of her big mistake she could have noticed the signs. Even though he was holding it together, Steve was a wreck. He just looked so...defeated.
It had been a few weeks sent she sent Tony away. Each day the milk supply he left dwindled, even after she went back to collect more from him. She swore she wasn't going to tell Steve or Bucky what happened. But her best friend was standing in front of her, about to lose the one thing he cherished most. If this was the end of their friendship, so be it. She wouldn't be able to forgive herself if Peter died because of her thoughtlessness.
"I know someone who can help."
"Nat, the doctors already said they couldn't do anything. Don't bother- "
"He's not a doctor," She said quietly. Her eyes dropped to her feet, suddenly afraid of what was to come. "He's Peter's mother."