Hard To Believe

Quentin is enjoying this moment in Eliot's arms after having felt the soft touch of his lips. He knows he doesn't have to do anything until he's ready, but the night before showed him how serious El is, taking care of him, even if at times he was lost in his own mind. Eliot's hug is the best in the world. Q manages to feel the affection and all the support he can give him in a single gesture. He didn't want to think, just feel the body heat of his love that warmed him not only on the outside, but mainly on the inside, bringing a wave of comfort, making him feel loved.

The sound of his phone's alarm broke that moment.

"Fuck!" He swore under his breath

Eliot sighed and slowly released him so he could pick up the device and turn off the annoying noise.

"I still prefer to stay here, do nothing but…you know."

"I know honey. My offer stands. Whatever you decide..." Eliot couldn't finish the sentence because Q's phone is ringing and it wasn't the alarm, but a call.

"What the fuck?" Quentin stopped ranting when he saw it was his father. "Dad?"

"Good morning Curly Q. Can you put the phone on speaker?"

"Yes but why?"

"I want Eliot to hear what I have to say too."

"How could you know he's here?"

"Son, please, do it as I say."

"Fine." He activated the device and placing the phone between the two informed Ted; "Eliot can hear you now."

"Thanks son. Good morning Eliot. Glad you're there." Ted's voice turned serious after that, losing the affectionate tone with which he had spoken to the boys. "I got a message from your mother Q. She was complaining about you and when she mentioned that a tall boy had stood up to her, I knew it had to be you Eliot. I'm glad you were with Q. She doesn't even deserve the title of mother. I was worried and I stopped by but I saw that you were sleeping and that calmed me down and made me go back to Maryl's house."

"Oh!" Quentin was embarrassed. He doesn't know what to say.

"Ted, I would never leave Q alone. He didn't take that woman's visit well and I stayed here for whatever he needed."

"I thank you son." Ted was returning to his sweeter voice. "Quentin, do you need me? Do you want to talk about her? I can come over."

"No Daddy. I'm fine now." He took Eliot's hand and look deep into his eyes. "It helped me see what I know deep down, that, that she's the one who's wrong."

Eliot smiled at the words and gently shook the handsome man's hand.

"I wanted to ask you something son. Maryl is preparing a big wedding in San Francisco on Saturday morning, and will need to spend the next few days there. She invited me to go with her. I had decided to go, but with what happened last night, I want to know if you need me. I'll stay for you in a blink of an eye. You're my son and I'll never trade you for anything."

Quentin felt his eyes warm. His father is always by his side, even if he wanted to be with his girlfriend. He can't disturb this moment. He was about to say that when he felt Eliot's hand, which he was still holding, squeeze his. When he looked over, he saw Eliot leaning closer to say something softly in his ear.

"Q, if you want I can stay here all week. If you prefer your dad, no problem, I'll do what's best for you." Eliot kept his head pressed against Q's to hear his answer.

"El, it's going to be boring for you." His voice came out unsteady, fearing the reaction of the taller one.

"No. You are my priority. I already told you that. If you allow me, I want to stay with you. We will have time to do many things together and..."

"Okay. I want you here with me." Quentin can feel Eliot's body relax. He hadn't realized he was tense before. They pulled apart, but Q still held the hand of the man who had been his safe haven for so long, and he is sure that he wants Eliot back.

"Dad, you should go with your girlfriend and, and, you know, enjoy San Francisco. I'll be fine. Eliot, hum, Eliot said he'll stay here with me."

"Okay, son. Even with Eliot there, if you need me I can come back quickly. Maryl took me there last night through a portal. What a wonderful thing magic can do for us."

"You are using more and more of the magic, dad. Soon we will have to take you to classes, to Brakebills." Quentin was trying to make a joke, relaxing more. Ted laughed softly.

"I'm not going to invade a campus full of young students. I couldn't handle the parties and all the drinking, and don't even try to deny it Curly Q." After everyone laughed a bit, he continued. "Eliot, son, thank you for your support. I should have married better."

"Don't worry Ted. I'll stay by his side. It'll be good for us too. We will spend more time together."

"Boys if you need me, you know better than I do how a portal works. I'm going to call that disgusting woman. If she shows up again to harass any of us, I'm going to call our lawyer and take legal action. She doesn't deserve to be a part of our lives. I'll call you from the west coast."

"Okay dad. Have a good time there."

"Enjoy that beautiful city Ted."

After hanging up, Quentin looked at Eliot, who was standing so close to him that he could feel his heat. After the light kiss at dawn, he knows he wants another kiss. When he was about to move, Eliot's phone vibrated with a message, breaking the moment.

Eliot reached for the phone on the bedside table and Quentin stared at his back.

"Julia. She wants to know if we're together." Eliot was grinning broadly, as he turned away again and handed the phone over to Q read the message.

Before he could say anything, his phone alerted him to an incoming message. He chuckled before speaking. "Jules. She must be dying. Curiosity killed the cat."

"I have to admit that she asked me to tell her about our date when I got back. I know she has an appointment early today." Eliot chuckled remembering how the petite brunette had practically threatened his life the night before.

"El, do you really want to go to work with me? Wouldn't you rather be doing something else?"

Reaching out to try to tuck a lock of Quentin's hair behind his ear, Eliot answered. "I am sure. If I can help you, we can close the shop early and go for a walk. We'll have more time together to relax, talk, whatever you want."

"Ok. You're going to need clothes and Julia...oh God, she will kill us if we don’t talk to her. I'm going to put some clothes, and we can go to the penthouse. You get a suitcase, you know, for the next few days. In the meantime, I'll talk to that former goddess before she freaks us out."

"Aren't you going to delay opening the shop? Besides, we didn't have dinner yesterday and we need a good breakfast." Eliot, beautiful Eliot always wanting to keep him fed.

"We still have about an hour until opening. Right next to the store there's a great coffee shop where you can get us a nice meal. Unlike you, I put on an outfit in 2 minutes." For the first time all day, Eliot saw a smile and an amused look on Q’s face.

"Darling I'm quicker to take my clothes off than to put them on." Quentin blushed at the comment, as he remembered when he had had his clothes removed quickly by those long fingers. "I'm going to beat a record for packing a suitcase. Let's go, we have a portal nearby that we used to come on Sunday, which leads to the hall on the apartment."

Quentin, who couldn't say anything at that moment, went to the suite's bathroom and got ready. When he came out Eliot was coming back from the other bathroom and he could see that El was trying to arrange his beautiful curls into a hairstyle.

"Let's go?"

"After you darling."

The portal was one block away from the house and when they entered the penthouse, Julia jumped when she saw the two of them.

"You idiots, did you fuck so much last night that Eliot just came back with his clothes looking like they came from a war?"

"Jules leave him alone. Let's talk, I will tell you what happened."

The oldest friend soon realized that it wasn't a positive thing and just nodded. She saw Eliot pat Quentin on the arm before hurrying upstairs. Q sat on the couch with Julia and he told her everything that had happened the night before.

"Fuck. I hate that woman. I know she's your mother but I just hate her." His friend looked at him with such affection that he had to smile.

"Don't worry. I hate her too…sometimes."

"I'm glad you got support. Eliot seems to have been able to help you."

"He's done this before, you know."

It took Julia a second to understand. "Yeah. How are you guys doing? You know Margo will want to know if you're together." Her smile showed the complicity they had, but teasing him.

"We are not together, hum, not yet."

"I enjoyed the ‘yet’ part." She patted his leg lightly.

"Shut up." He's laughing, embarrassed.

"What are you waiting for?"

"I don't know. Just the…I fucking don’t know."

"Don't wait forever. You know there's no perfect time."

"It is still hard to believe that he, you know…and last night wasn't a good time for anything, that is for sure."

"Did he sleep with you?"

"I was in his arms all night, but nothing sexual. I feel protected and stronger with him."

"You two are really good for each other."

Quentin didn't have time to respond before he heard Eliot's footsteps coming down the stairs.

"A suitcase?"

"Dad is going to San Francisco for a few days with Maryl, and El has offered to stay with me."

"You know I could never wear the same outfit for days. I have a reputation to uphold." He had changed. He was dressed in clean, ironed, but less formal clothes. Beige pants and a patterned button-up blouse in shades of dark orange.

"If you need anything, just give me a call. I can kick that mean, boastful ass without an ounce of regret."

"I know you can Jules. Maybe we can arrange a dinner with you guys. Now I better go to work. I want to get free as soon as possible. I'm tired."

"Okay, I won't stand in your way. Call me if you need anything."

The boys said their goodbyes and left. They went back to the Coldwater's house, left Eliot's suitcase and Q showed him the portal to the store. El went to the cafeteria to buy their first meal of the day, while Quentin is packing up for the store opening. They agreed that he would only open the door when Eliot is back, in case the bitch showed up.

Eliot brought coffee, meat sandwiches, strawberry smoothies and chocolate cookies. He choose things that are fast to order, because he didn't want Q to be alone for too long. They had breakfast together and opened the store fifteen minutes late, but Eliot was happy that Q was well fed. They took the first object to be repaired and went to work together.

As soon as they started, it was easy to feel their energy connecting. Eliot was not directing the actions; he was just offering his magic to Quentin. They were facing each other and El's hands were above Q's, and even without touching, it was as if their hands were merging in a wave of energy.

The feeling was spreading through both of their bodies, it's as if an energetic bond existed between them. One can feel the other, even feel part of their emotions. They can feel the joy of being connected on such a deep and intense level. It felt like their souls were together, not just their powers. There was no barrier between them.

Quentin has a beautiful smile and eyes shining and Eliot has trouble thinking of anything but that man. The magic feels so different from when he'd joined forces with Margo or anyone else. It was something pure. It is the essence of both of them.

Quentin feels more than just magic flowing. He can feel something much more important, a happiness that enters his body through his hands. He can feel the love Eliot is putting into helping him.

For a moment, they stop and just look at each other. Quentin smiles even wider, his eyes get small, while Eliot can barely breathe. They hear a phone ringing that snaps them out of their trance and puts them back in focus on getting the repair done, which is completed so quickly that surprised both of them.

After finishing the first advice, they decide to do as much as possible with their time working together. This way they will be able to take the afternoon off today and maybe do it every day. Some customers came to pick up their orders and before 1PM they had finished all of the day's items and two others. When the last customer left, they decided to close the store.

"Q, where do you want to go?"

"I want to be outside. You can choose where. I don’t care."

"Um, are you going to give me all that power? What if I take you far from here and not bring you back?"

Turning red once more, Quentin doesn't even respond, just laughs and shrugs.

"What about us to have a delicious fish lunch at the Hamptons? We can walk on the beach and relax watching the sunset before heading back."

"Sounds like a well-deserved small vacation."

"Let's create a new portal. If Ted uses it that much, we're entitled to use twice."

They went to an idyllic seaside restaurant, where the chef is a magician. She also attended Brakebills and Eliot only met her because of Margo. They had a fantastic meal. For starters, a cevice of unparalleled freshness, followed by a fish crusted with salt and herbs and sautéed vegetables, and for dessert, a semifreddo with chocolate and fresh raspberries.

Eliot chose a delicious French rosé wine that Q loved. They ate lunch in no time, savoring every mouthful and the conversation turning to the place, with Eliot recounting how he had spent a few days there with Margo, on their first break from Brakebills.

They went for a walk on the sand. Taking off shoes and lifting the hem of their pants, Q and El started to walk in silence at first, but it is a comfortable kind of silence. They are fine. They are near at a small pier, when Eliot took Quentin's hand and, not finding resistance, led him to a wooden bench where they sat, and leaned side by side to watch a beautiful sunset. There are only a few clouds in the sky showing a color between pink and lilac.

The time to return approached and they went to a local market to pick up some groceries for dinner and breakfast. Eliot went to pic the protein and Quentin select the fruits and vegetables. They went back to the portal and changed it to go near the house and no longer to the store. At home, Eliot start to prepare their dinner, while Q is chopping vegetables to make the salad. Eliot made a delicious sauce and sautéed shrimp to keep the seafood vibe going for the day.

When they plopped down on the couch, Ted called bringing some good news about Maryl’s work and once more, reaffirming that he would be back in a moment if they needed him. They recieved a video call from Julia, 23, and Kady. All their friends were pissed at Q’s mom and Kady and 23 offered their services in case she showed up again. Penny said he could transport her into a volcano while she was sleeping, and leave her there for good. Everyone laughed and Eliot noticed that Q had recovered from the incident. They arranged a barbecue for Sunday, taking advantage of Ted and Maryl's return. They chatted until Quentin yawned and Julia decided it is time for him to go to sleep.

The boys went upstairs and Eliot opened his suitcase in Q's room when he realized he couldn't take it for granted that they would sleep together tonight.

"Honey, would you rather sleep alone? I can go into the other room."

"Do, do you want to sleep alone?"

Eliot saw the doubt in Quentin's eyes and knew he had to clear it up soon.

"I want to stay, but I'll do what's best for you."

Quentin relaxed and answered. "Stay."

"I know it's my fault, but I'll wait for the day when you don't doubt that I'd rather be with you than anywhere else in the world."

Quentin could see the strength of emotion into his eyes, the tone of his voice and gave a shy smile. He walked over to a smaller, walnut-colored closet in the corner of the room and opened the left door. It was empty. "El, you can put your stuff in here. There are some hangers too."

Eliot smiled and thanked him. When taking his clothes to put them in place, Q gave him space and went to get some clothes to sleep. "I'm going to shower while you organize your things, okay?"

"Sure darling."

Eliot quickly unpacked his things and laid out his navy blue silk pajamas. Without waiting for Q to get out of the shower, he went to the hall bathroom and left his bag with all his products there. He took a shower and applied his creams before getting dressed and going back to the bedroom, where he found Q already in bed, looking at him.

He lifted the covers and lay down on the same side of the bed he always used when he was with Q. He settled back and saw the pleading puppy dog eyes of the man he loves. He opened his arms and with a peaceful smile, Q came to rest his head on his chest. Hugging that man all night was something he wished he could do forever. It had been a busy day, and he soon felt that warm, lavender-scented body relax and sleep like a baby. He surrendered to the gentle rhythm of Q's breathing and fell asleep with a smile on his lips.

Q woke up to the sound of the alarm clock. He was on his side and hugging Eliot from behind. Muttering, Q moved away so he could turn off the noise that bothered both of them, wishing for the weekend, when he could go back to sleep. When he turned back, Eliot was looking at him. "Good morning my love."

"Good morning El. Sorry to wake you up."

"We have some work today, but first a special breakfast for you."

"You are spoiling me." Q is smiling.

"You deserve it."

"Thanks El. You're helping me and… I couldn't ask for more." Quentin walked over and kissed Eliot on the forehead before going to get ready.

Eliot made a frittata with vegetables and a fruit salad with yogurt and honey cream. A steaming cup of coffee completed the breakfast. They walked towards the store. Quentin pointed out his favorite things along the way, a bookstore, a flower shop, and his favorite coffee shop. They soon started work, marveling at everything they managed to accomplish in a short space of time. Customers were arriving and ahead of schedule, they were free.

Eliot suggest they could go see Wicked in the afternoon session. Quentin accepted and they had a lot of fun in the play and walked about 15 minutes until they reached a small and reserved bistro where they had lunch. Eliot told about his time at Filory, how lost and unhappy he was, regretting the way he had treated him after they regained his memory and how much he was sinking. Sensing that Q was getting worried, he changed the subject a bit, and talked about the issues Margo was having. Quentin accepted the change in conversation, and was really curious about the report. He asked about all the people he remembered.

"El, how is Fen?"

"She's fine. She and Bambi have a special connection. They trust each other."

"And how is your relationship today?" Suddenly Q was staring at the small flower arrangement on the table.

"She became a friend."

"She's your wife, good thing you're friends."

"Not anymore." The answer brought Q's gaze back to his face.

"What?"

"We have instituted divorce in Filory."

"Really?"

"Yes." Eliot placed his hand on top of Q's before continuing. "She deserves a chance to be happy. I could never love her, as she deserves. First, she is a woman, but even if she were a boy, I would never love her because I already love you."

"El, I..." He looked nervous.

"You do not need to say anything."

"But I, I want, I... El…I love you too. Yesterday you said that you hope I believe in your love. I love you and I think, even though it's hard to believe, I'm starting to trust that you, you…you know, love me back."

Eliot could see a glimmer of hope. He wants to have his husband back. Eliot squeezed his hand lightly and they looked at each other with such affection that they almost didn't hear the waiter arrive with their dessert. They were not that hungry, so they ordered one to share. It was a chocolate soufflé, which is light, melting in the mouth, with just the right amount of sweetness and chocolate. Eliot was going to ask for a second spoonful, but Q stopped him and taking the spoon the waiter had brought, took a portion and brought the spoon to Eliot's lips. As they left the bistro, Eliot put his hand on Quentin's shoulder and they walked like that, until they returned to New Jersey.

Back at the Coldwater’s house, Quentin and Eliot had a light snack in the backyard, under the moon and the bright stars. They talked about Q's life in the last few months. Eliot was impressed by Q's business acumen. It was interesting to see how he evolved to be independent. When Q spoke of his disappointment with Eliot's reaction and sudden departure, his heart contracted. Never had it hurt so much, never regretted what he'd done so much, except for the throne room. They had tea, and after sending a message to Ted, they went upstairs for a relaxing shower.

When Eliot lay down, Quentin stood beside the bed, looking at him. His dark curls were spread on the light-colored pillow, enhancing the beauty of that face. Quentin leaned over and gently kissed his lips. The kiss only lasted three seconds, but it meant a lot to Eliot.

Eliot woke up and noticed the weight in his abdomen. He is on his back and Quentin has his arm around his waist. Q's head is resting lightly on his shoulder, and Eliot can feel the soft breathing of the man beside him. He needs to go to the bathroom, but is afraid to wake him up. Gently he lifts Q's arm. He wants to get out of bed slowly. Quentin straightened and Eliot managed to get to his feet.

When he returned, he saw that Quentin was sitting up on bed with his hands over his face. Eliot quickly sat down beside him and put an arm around his shoulder.

"Q? Baby? Are you ok?"

Quentin took his hands from his face and looked into Eliot's eyes. "Eliot, I, I…" He took a deep breath. "It was a nightmare. I'm an idiot."

"No, my dear. A nightmare can drive anyone crazy." He placed a kiss on Q's forehead to convey a little more comfort. "Do you want to talk about that?"

"No, it's...I know it's irrational. I'll tell you later, ok?"

“Ok. I will be here.” Q looked at the wall and Eliot waited a moment before changing the subject. “What do you want to do today?”

"I have therapy this afternoon. Can we wait until later to decide?"

"Yes, I know how important your therapy is. I tried therapy myself on Filory but it didn't work out very well."

"Why not?" The question in Q's eyes didn't hide the surprise;

"Let's just say Centaurs don't have a lot of patience with a drunken and coward human."

Quentin turned to face Eliot. "You are not a coward."

"I am but I'm working on it." He places another kiss on the forehead of the bravest man he knows, stood up and held out his hand.

"Let's have breakfast Q. We both deserve a good start to our day." Quentin smiled and accepted his hand to rise. They stayed close and Q gave him a peck before heading to the bathroom.

Eliot went down to the kitchen and started humming as he made a special pancake, with banana, oat and cinnamon. The coffee machine was already giving off a delicious aroma and Eliot had already set the table with the help of his telekinesis. When Q entered the kitchen Eliot was plating the pancakes, putting honey on the top. Q got the coffee while Eliot took four slices of Italian bread from the oven. Q saw it has melted cheese with tomatoes and herbs on the top.

The day at the store was busy and instead of going to lunch, both ate a smoked tuna sandwich with a delicious herb sauce. Quentin had arranged with Eliot that they could go together to his therapist's building, but that in order not to sit around waiting; El would take advantage of the nearby shops.

As Quentin left the session, he saw Eliot walking into the office lobby carrying two bags from a store he didn't know. The smile he received from the taller man made his heart skip a beat. He went towards Eliot and joked that he couldn't leave him for a few minutes, that he would be back with lots of new acquisitions. On their way to the Coldwater’s house, Quentin thought about what he wants to do.

"El, would you mind if we stayed home today? I'd really like to watch a movie."

"A quiet night? Why not? It's just better to talk to Julia. She texted me asking if we'd like to come to have dinner with them."

"Would you rather go to the restaurant?"

Eliot then stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and waited for Quentin to stop and turn to face him. Holding the two bags in his right hand, he placed his other hand on Quentin's shoulder before replying in a sweet but serious voice.

"I'll say it again until you believe me. I love you, I want to be with you, and I wouldn't trade dinner with you for one with Julia or anyone else. I told her I'd talk to you. You wants to stay at home and I will love to spend time with you watching a movie, eating popcorn and having a hot chocolate before bed." He looked once more into Q's beautiful eyes and repeated. "I love you Coldwater."

Quentin smiled, walked over, and standing on tiptoes, kisses Eliot's soft lips and he sighed in relief. They smiled at each other and Eliot took the opportunity to joke. "You call her to say no, because she'll complain if I am the one calling her."

"You're wrong, she'll complain no matter who calls, but I'll talk to her." He took Eliot's free hand, and hand in hand, they walked home.

Quentin called Julia, who protests terribly about his decision. She accuses him of not want to expend time with her. He explained that the day had been tough in therapy, but, at the same time, had been really good for him. He just needs to be quieter tonight, to assimilate everything he talked about with the therapist.

"Oh, Q. I'm sorry. This rush made me forget that today is Thursday and you had therapy. Is that okay?"

"Yes, it's fine."

"Do you want to be alone with Eliot or can we go over and see a movie together?"

"Let's meet on Sunday and spend all day catching up ok?"

"Message received. Can I tell Margo you're together?"

"No Jules, we are not. Please, just, just give me some time." She could hear a note of impatience in his voice.

"Okay Q. I'm going to be a good friend and keep it quiet, but I think you'd better invite her on Sunday if you intend on seducing her best friend."

"Jesus Jules!"

"I'm just saying." He could see that she was enjoying the situation;

"Okay. I will invite her. Better, you send a bunny and invites Margo, Josh and Fen."

"I knew it!" She is elated, talking loudly.

"You're impossible. I do not know what's going to happen or when but, please, talk to her. I can’t text her when she is in Filory."

"Good luck! I'll call you on Saturday to arrange what we will bring to your place. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Laughing, she hangs up.

Returning to the kitchen Q smells the delicious aroma of chocolate and something else.

"Hum…good."

"My special chocolate with a little alcohol to relax."

"My favorite kind."

"I know honey."

"Need help with the food?"

"We'll have the irreplaceable popcorn, and I'm baking potato chips with cheese. We can have a cookie too. I found out that Ted left some ice cream in the freezer."

"If I remember correctly it's salted caramel ice cream. I'll make the popcorn and you make the cookie. What will the cookie taste like?"

"Coffee with chocolate chips."

"Hmm. I hope we can save some for tomorrow morning." Laughing, they both started to work and after everything was ready, they put the spell to keep everything fresh and went to take a shower and put on pajamas, even though it was only 7 PM.