I'm Not Okay

Sunday, December 24, 4:24 PM.

“Shit,” Harley staggered back to Peter and flipped him onto his back. His skin was almost as pale as the snow and his lips were a deep blue. His eyes were open and moving but they were glazed and didn’t seem to focus on anything. “Hey, we’re almost there. You gotta just hold on a few more steps and then we’re home free.”

“Cold…” He mumbled.

“Yea, I know but moving will warm you up. You won’t feel any better laying in the snow.”

Peter weakly gripped Harley’s hand and tried his best to stand. Harley did most of the work, wrapping Peter’s arm over his shoulder and holding his other side upright. It took a while for him to drag them both the last few steps. Peter was a lot heavier than he looked.

There was no good spot to put Peter that would keep him out of the snow. So, he just kept carrying him.

Cars zoomed past at impressive speeds. Harley had no clue how he was going to get anyone's attention from the side of the road. And who could he trust? Hammer was definitely still looking for him. He couldn’t get into just anyone’s car.

It didn’t take long for someone to stop. It was this dinky little purple minivan. It was practically falling apart from rust and was stuffed full to the brim with kids. Seriously, the number of kids seemed illegal. The woman driving it looked horrified by Harley and Peter’s whole situation on the side of the highway.

“Are you two okay?” She hastily unbuckled her seatbelt with shaking hands and moved to get out of the car. Harley instantly backed away from the vehicle. She seemed to notice his distrust and stayed in the car. “Can I call someone?”

“Yes! Please.” Harley had never felt so much relief.

She pulled out her phone and handed it to him through the open window. Harley fumbled with it for a moment but eventually managed to dial Tony. It rang for a while and then went to voicemail. He called again, no answer. “Pick up, you asshole!”

He dialled again and it was picked up almost instantly.

“Who is this?” Tony asked dryly. That time Harley did cry. Thick hot tears streamed down his face and froze before they could reach his chin.

“Tony, it’s Harley. I need you to come get us.”

“Harley? Where the hell have you been? You never showed up to your therapy-”

“I’ll explain everything when you get your ass down here. Peter’s really messed up and I can’t wake him up.”

“Alright don’t panic, okay? I’m on my way now. Where are you?”

Harley froze. He had no idea. He turned to the woman in the car. “Ma’am, do you know where we are right now?”

“Mount Kisco Road, just a few miles north of the bridge.”

“You heard that?”

“Yea, Kisco,” He sighed. “How the hell did you end up in Connecticut? Stay exactly where you are, I'm on my way. Two minutes.”

“Are you cold?” The woman asked as Harley handed the phone back to her.

He nodded.

She turned to the boy in the passenger seat. “Joel, go in your bag and grab him a sweater.”

The boy pulled a backpack from the floor, into his lap and dug a hoodie out. He passed it to the woman and she passed it to Harley. He put Peter gently on the ground for a moment while he pulled the sweater on and then hauled him back up. He seemed heavier now that he was fully unconscious.

“Take this too!” A little girl from the back shoved a thick blanket to the front. Harley took it and wrapped it around Peter.

“You guys are really nice-” A familiar sound echoed in the distance. Harley’s stomach twisted. It wasn’t Iron Man repulsors like he’d hoped. It was the high-pitched humming of an engine. He was nearby. “Go. Get out of here now.”

The woman didn’t move. She just stared at him confused.

“It’s not safe for you out here, you need to go. If he sees you with us…”

She and Joel exchanged a concerned look.

“I’m serious, you need to go right now,” The snowmobile was getting louder and louder. He knew they could hear it too.

“Whoever you called has my number. You call me the minute you’re safe. You hear me?”

Harley nodded quickly. He couldn’t put anyone else in danger. Especially not an entire van of kids.

The woman reluctantly drove off leaving Harley and Peter alone on the side of the road. Just as the van turned out of view, the snowmobile broke through the trees and skid to a stop beside the road a couple hundred metres away. The rider looked around for a moment before spotting the boys. He instantly revved the engine and took off toward them. It wasn't easy, but Harley gripped Peter as tight as possible and began running down the road. His feet sunk into the snow with each step slowing him down exponentially. It was like trying to run in a dream. He thought they might be able to outrun the dude until he felt his foot slip on a patch of ice. He slid for a second before fully losing his balance. Just before they hit the snow, he flipped onto his back so Peter wouldn’t get wet. The snow soaked through the sweater instantly and burned against his skin. He struggled to push himself up under Peter’s weight.

The sound of the snowmobile was closer than ever. He peeked over Peter to see him lift off the motorcycle helmet and look down at the two boys. For some reason, Harley recognized him but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember why. It wasn’t Hammer nor the goons. But his face was so familiar.

There was no time for him to think about it though. There was a high-pitched whirring from above and the man was blasted backwards into the snow.

Peter’s weight was suddenly lifted off of him and was instead replaced by an iron man suit looking down at him.

“Stay put, Mr. Keener. Help has arrived,” FRIDAY announced cheerfully.

The suit took off into the sky, Peter safely stowed inside.

Something smacked into Harley’s chest and enveloped him in warmth. Armour spread from the centre of his chest all the way down to his toes and fingertips. The faceplate lit up bright blue and a voice filled his ears.

“You alright, kid?”

“Fine. Peter’s-”

“Yea I know. Fri, take him home.”

The suit moved on its own. It stood straight up and took off into the sky. The flight to the tower was over quicker than Harley expected. The suit landed on the landing pad and opened up. He stepped out and into the cold again. A medical team was already waiting for them.

Peter was laid gently onto a stretcher and wheeled inside. Doctors and nurses shouted orders and words Harley didn’t understand as they disappeared through the glass doors.

A second medical team was waiting with a stretcher for Harley. They crowded around him, shined lights in his eyes and inspected the cuts and bruises on his face. Thankfully they decided he was well enough to walk to the med bay on his own for treatment. They lead him through the tower and into one of the rooms he was unfortunately very familiar with.

They poked and prodded at him for a while before deciding he was mostly alright and began patching him up. A few minutes after, Tony walked in.

He stood awkwardly by the door for a few seconds just looking around as if he had never stepped foot in the medbay. Once he ran out of stuff to stare blankly at, he approached.

“You alright?”

Harley nodded. God, why were they both so awkward? He hated awkward silences.

“What happened?”

He had no idea where to begin. “You know a guy named Justin Hammer?”

Tony instantly groaned. He wiped a hand down his face and nodded.

“Yea, I thought so. He uh wanted me to build him an iron man suit. Obviously, I said no but uhh… He said he’d…” He cleared his throat in an attempt to stop his voice from breaking. “He said he’d kill Parker if I didn’t. I was never gonna build him one I just said I would. Instead, I took a page from your book and built a way out.”

The expression on the man’s face was unreadable. Harley had never seen it before.

“He wanted you to build him a suit?” It wasn’t quite a question. “Why you?”

“Thought I would know how I guess,” he shrugged.

There was another awkward silence. Before either of them could speak up, the door swung open and Pepper walked in. Her high heels clicked against the floor with each step. She stopped right in front of Tony and folded her arms tightly across her chest.

“What the hell happened?” She asked as if she hadn’t even noticed Harley sitting there.

“Honey, I was just about to-”

“I don’t wanna hear it. You’re going to tell me exactly what happened and you’re not gonna sugar coat it because I know when you’re lying to me.”

“Maybe we could do this somewhere else?”

Pepper finally looked over to Harley. Her expression softened. “Are you alright, Harley?”

The boy nodded, terrified to make a sound in front of her.

She looked back to Tony. “Outside. Now.”

Without another word, she left. Slamming the door behind her.

“Anything else I should know before I talk to Pepper?”

Harley shrugged again. “I don’t think so.”

“Alright, get some rest.”

Tony followed her out the door and carefully shut it behind him. Harley slid out of bed and crept towards the door. He crouched down and peeked under the door. They were still standing just outside the room. He quickly pressed his ear against the door and tried to listen.

“-After everything that’s happened, you owe him that,” Pepper growled.

“I know. He’s not gonna be happy about it though,” Tony sighed.

“Who cares if he’s happy about it as long as he’s safe, Tony? What matters more to you? All you’ve done since you met him is put him in danger. He’s not Peter. He doesn’t have super-healing. He’s just a kid.”

There was a long silence. Harley worried they’d noticed he was listening but there was no attempt to open the door. After a moment, Tony spoke up again.

“I know. How am I gonna tell him?”

“Be honest with him. Tell him as soon as you go back in. He deserves the truth.”

Tony didn’t answer. Harley took that as his queue to pretend he didn’t hear any of that. He quietly crawled back to the bed and climbed back in as if he’d never left. The door swung open seconds later.

Tony sighed deeply. “Kid.”

Harley’s heart began beating faster. Whatever Tony was about to say wasn’t good. So he decided to speak first. “You know it was exactly four years ago that you broke into my garage?”

Tony nodded.

“If it were some other random kid’s garage and not mine, would that kid be standing here now and not me?” He had no clue why he was speaking everything on his mind. Not once did he think before he spoke and it irritated him.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged.

Harley rolled his eyes. Of course, he’d avoid any questions. “Did you ever plan on actually talking to me? During those four years did you even give a shit about me?”

“Of course I did.”

“Then why did you only call when my mom asked you to? Why did I never hear shit from you after I thought you were dead in Sokovia.”

Tony shook his head. Why was he not shouting back? It pissed Harley off that he couldn’t get a rise out of him.

“I just wish I could be like you,” It wasn’t angry like the thought was in his head. It was small and sad. It meant something completely different during this conversation.

“I know, kid. That’s why I never called you down here. I saw a lot of myself and it scared the hell out of me. You know after all these years I claimed the biggest threat to the world was aliens, interdimensional war, stuff like that. But nope. It was me. Us. The Avengers. I convinced myself we were helping. But, after Ultron it was different. We were a chemical mixture that made chaos…” His words lingered in the air for a while almost like there was some hidden meaning Harley didn’t understand. “A time bomb. It was never about you. I was just an idiot and I wish I could have done something else to help you.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He’d never heard Tony talk so much about The Avengers. He’d never even heard Tony say the name Ultron.

“Pepper and I just talked about… Well, that doesn’t matter. We both agree that as long as you know me you’re not safe.”

He sighed and checked his watch. His eyes never seemed to meet Harley’s “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been a part of your life from the start. You deserve to be a kid. Live a normal life without being put in danger by a reckless superhero.”

“You’re leaving,” Harley shook his head. God, he was so fucking tired of this shit. He made a point to look Tony directly in the face. He wanted him to know what he was doing. “After all this, you're gonna leave. After-”

“I’m sorry were you not here when a deranged ex-millionaire held you and Peter hostage?”

“At least I got us out alive!”

“You’re not getting it. You wouldn’t have been in that position in the first place if you didn’t know me.”

Harley wiped a hand down his face. It tugged on his cuts and scrapes but he didn’t care. He was so tired. There was no use arguing with the man. He’d clearly made up his mind.

“So what now? I pretend none of this happened and move back to Rosehill?”

“No, you can stay with Peter and May. You can still go to school and everything you just can’t come around here anymore. And you can’t talk about me or call me or anything that’ll make people think we’re related. Friday is working on erasing any articles that have your name in them now. Hopefully, people will just forget.”

“Peter and May?” He hadn’t even considered that. When had that been decided?

“Yea, May said she’d take care of you.”

He chose to ignore that. If he focused too much on it he would probably cry. Nobody had ever wanted to take care of him before. “Is Peter okay?”

He nodded. “Hypothermia and a lot of bumps and bruises but he’s strong. He’ll be good to go as soon as May gets here.”

Speak of the devil and he’ll arrive. The door slammed open and a very disgruntled-looking May stomped in.

“Harley! Are you alright?” She wrapped him in a tight hug and squeezed him until he couldn’t breathe. “I was so worried about you boys.”

“I’m fine,” He managed to say once she released him. He looked around the room for Tony. He was gone. Fucking coward.

~

Monday, December 25, 2017, 2:38 PM.

Christmas was sooner than Harley expected. It was also way harder than he expected too. It was his first Christmas without Abbie.

May had taken them home early that morning and the two boys instantly went to sleep. They didn’t wake up until later in the day. May made them lunch/breakfast and they opened presents. May gave Harley a set of New York licence plates and a metric-shit-ton of candy and chocolates. It wasn’t much but he really appreciated it. He was a New Yorker now.

They spent the rest of the afternoon watching Christmas movies. Harley had seen them all a thousand times with Abbie. He couldn’t help the ache that grew in him while watching It’s A Wonderful Life. That was Abbie’s favourite.
Near the end of the movie, he couldn’t really take it anymore. He quickly snuck away from the living room making up some excuse about the bathroom. It wasn’t that he was unhappy. It was actually one of the best Christmas’s he’d had in years. There was a lot less screaming and fighting than he was used to. It was refreshing. He just couldn’t help but feel weird that he wasn’t with Abbie.

Instead of the bathroom, he snuck into his and Peter’s bedroom. He took a few deep breaths and wiped his nose with his sleeve. It took him a moment to notice the brown paper bag on the top bunk.

He approached it slowly. It had a message written in Sharpie scrawled across the front. It read:

“Merry Christmas. Your friend, The Mechanic.”

Inside was an iron man helmet. It looked like an old model. Mark 20 maybe. He pulled the helmet on. A heads-up display lit up.

“Hello Harley,” A familiar voice said.

“Hello?” he was sure it sounded like… But no it couldn’t be.

“I’m ABBIE. Your personal AI assistant. ABBIE stands for Another Brilliant Behavioral Intelligence Exosystem.”

“ABBIE huh? How long did it take Tony to come up with that acronym?” He joked but his eyes were watery.

“Two days.”

He laughed at that. Of course, it took him that long. How long had he been working on her interface though? “So what, he copied you from FRIDAY or Karen?”

“Tony was unsure their personality matrices would be sufficient enough to house me. So, he started a new one from scratch. I can do everything FRIDAY can and more.”

“Where’d he get the voice from?”

“He had saved voice messages on his phone.

“Damn old man… You really overdid it.”

“Harley,” ABBIE spoke up.

“Yea Abs, what’s up?”

“Tony wants you to know he cares about you. Even though he has to make difficult decisions sometimes.”

Harley chuckled wetly. “Yea I know.”

~

Thursday, December 31, 2017, 11:53 PM.

The fire escape groaned beneath them. They’d climbed out of Peter’s window to see the fireworks. The two sat silently for a while just listening to the shouts and screams of excitement from the street below. Traffic was backed up all the way to Queens and people were hanging out of their car windows.

A graffitied school bus with colourful lights was stopped just below them. He could hear the bass of a pop song echo from it. A bunch of teenagers were hanging out of the windows and shouting excitedly.

“How did you know the way out?” Peter asked out of the blue.

It took Harley a moment to realize what he was talking about. The whole Hammer thing seemed so long ago. He shrugged. “I just got this weird feeling. Like time slowed down and then the door just slammed open and I just knew.”

Peter didn’t seem surprised though. “This isn’t the first time that’s happened.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you were taken by Toomes, a door just slammed shut on its own. I thought maybe Electro had shut it on accident but that never made any sense. Maybe it was you.”

Harley couldn’t help but laugh at that. “You’re not serious. You think… You don’t really think that was me?”

“Who else was it? It wouldn’t be the weirdest thing I’ve heard.”

“Yea but I’d have to have like, telekinesis or something.”

Peter shrugged. “I’m not saying for sure but it’s a theory.”

Car horns honked obnoxiously from below as the fireworks finally began. They were farther away than Harley expected but still worth the wait.

“Oh hey. It’s midnight. Happy new year,” Peter said. He smiled and stared at the fireworks from central park. There were shouts and cheers in the street below. Everything was so different in New York. Even though he’d lived there for well over two months he couldn’t help but compare it to Rosehill. Everything was so much more alive and bright.

“Happy new year,” Harley replied, wiping his nose with his sleeve. So much had happened in the past two months. A lot more than had ever happened to him. Other than when Tony broke into his garage. But that was only one night. This was continuous. All he could hope for the new year was that life for him could be normal. Or as normal as life could be when your roommate is Spider-Man. Semi-normal. Boring even. He’d take boring over what he’d been living any day.