I'm Not Okay

CHAPTER 4:

Friday, December 22, 2017, 5:23 AM.

The freezing raindrops clacked against the Ironman armour obnoxiously. The sounds of the hundreds of bits of hale clattering against metal made his eye twitch. Especially after the mission they completely screwed up.

Flying just on his right was an extremely pissed Rhodey. He wasn’t saying a word. Tony could see his face cam though. He was practically fuming.

Tony couldn’t help but feel like he was partially to blame. He was the one who’d lost signal and ended up in Canada. Sour Patch over there wasn’t the type to forgive little mistakes either. Shit…

“Honey bear, I know you’re upset-”

“You can drop the shit, Tony. I’m not playing games anymore.”

“Come on, I messed up one mission. It wasn’t even a big deal that he got away. He’s hardly a threat.”

Rhodey shook his head. “You threw the mission for one bit of info. What did you learn huh? What’s worth more than putting that prick back in prison?”

“I didn’t get it…” Tony breathed.

Rhodey was silent. Yep. It was official. Tony had screwed up worse than ever. Not once had anyone seen Colonel James Rhodes speechless.

“Rhodey, listen I’ll track him down at the tower. We’ll have a hit by sunrise. He’ll be behind bars in time for supper okay?”

“You always have a solution huh?” Rhodey rolled his eyes. That’s all Tony needed as a sign he wasn’t completely screwed.

A smile spread across Tony’s face. “Yea, buddy. That’s what I’m talking about. Alright, let’s track this bastard down.”

The two landed on the balcony of the lab. Their suits melted into their wristbands and together they strolled inside. Tony felt a buzzing against his leg.

Rhodey stopped as Tony pulled his phone out. “You go ahead and start without me. I gotta take this really quick.”

~

Friday, December 22, 2017, 5:55 AM.

There was a loud buzzing noise that woke him up. He smacked his phone trying to snooze. It didn’t work. Exasperated, he flipped onto his stomach and looked at his phone screen. Tony was calling him.

He raised the phone to his ear and groaned as a hello.

“Explain. Now.”

He froze. Shit… Harley’s mind instantly snapped to him on his knees in the lab cutting random wires in the wall. He then thought back to when he tricked the front desk lady at the compound to let them into the Avengers training room unsupervised. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Explain what?”

“I got a call from your mom,” Tony explained. “She told me all about the drugs and the fights at your old high school. She said you’re still using...”

Uh… Shit. “Okay, the drugs… That was my fault.”

Tony didn’t reply. There was a crackling noise from his side though.

“I screwed up okay?” It felt more like a plea than a defence.

“You’re damn right you screwed up. How long have you been using drugs?”

Harley wiped his nose with his sleeve. Tony was silent.

“A couple of years… Maybe, ``he sniffled.

Tony sighed deeply. His voice changed from angry to disappointed. “You could have called me. One word and I would’ve gotten you the help you needed before any of this happened.”

Yep… Disappointment hurt a whole lot more than anger. Mostly because Harley felt the same way. Disappointed. “I don’t need help.”

“Clearly that isn’t the case. If you didn’t need help, I wouldn’t have gotten a phone call at five in the morning. You know, I’ve been trying to get through to you for years and nothing has worked. And now I know why. You’re too stubborn to ask for help. People care about you and you’re 100% okay with lying to your family on a daily basis and that is the definition of not okay.”

Harley quickly wiped the tears from his face.

“Thanks for the lecture, But what the hell do you know about family?” He hung up before Tony could say another word.

Freezing raindrops fell like shards of glass outside his bedroom window. He slowly slipped out of bed and down the stairs. He had finally wiped the last of the tears from his face when he was met with a neatly folded note with his name scrawled messily across it. His hand shook as he picked it up from the counter. He wasn’t sure why though.

He unfolded the paper and read;

Harley,

My sweet boy. I thought I was better. I promise you, I thought I was better, you understand? I wish I could tell you I’ll come back someday but I can’t. I saw something in myself that we saw once or twice before and I really wish I could take it back.

My recovery can’t happen around you. I’m broken and I need to fix myself. I don’t want to hurt you more than I probably already have.

I’m sorry for everything. I’m sure you wish I had just left you to live in the tower with Tony Stark. And I wish I had too. I’m sorry I took all that away from you. I’m sorry I took everything away from you.

Abbie would be so proud of you. Make her prouder.

I love you to Rosehill and back,

Mom

The paper crunched and crumpled in his fist. Hot thick tears flowed down his cheeks. He slowly slid his back down the wall until he was sitting on the floor.

Of course, she did. What else should he have expected from her? It’s what she always did. Make him forgive her and then leave.

It’s the first time she’s admitted to having a problem though. Maybe she’s serious this time.

He threw the note across the kitchen and buried his face in his hands. He didn’t hate her for leaving. He hated himself for believing she wouldn’t.

His hand searched in his pocket for his phone. He pulled it out and searched through his contact list. He was hit with a gut-wrenching realization. He had nobody to call. He had pushed them all away. Peter, Tony, Happy, His mom. They all hated him now.

The pit in his stomach grew deeper. For the first time in his life, he was truly alone.

Part of him felt like he deserved it. He chased them away. It was his fault they hated him. He was a dick to them. He deserved to be alone. It was better that way anyway. Harley didn’t have much interest in friends anymore anyway.

~

Friday, December 22, 2017, 1:13 PM.

Sally was more talkative in Chemistry than ever. Harley tried his best to just ignore her but it was difficult. She was practically screaming in his ear.

“Oh my gosh, my parents were so mad at me. That was definitely the last time I was ever allowed to drive my brother's snowmobile,” She giggled.

Harley smiled and nodded. She practically swooned.

“So, what are you doing later? I was hoping you could help me with the lab if you aren’t too busy.”

“Uhh… I don’t know. I think I have a thing.”

She shoved her stool a little closer to his.

“Hey…” He said as she leaned in closer to him. “You looking for something?”

“Your hair looks so soft. Can I-” He grabbed her wrist before she could touch it.

“No thanks,” He said. He placed her hand back onto the table and returned to his work. Not even thirty seconds went by before her hand was rubbing against his back and then up his neck. Her hand froze right before it touched his hair.

“Don’t worry,” She said. “I won’t mess it up.”

She buried her hand into his hair. Harley’s whole body stiffened. A memory flashed through his mind. It was weird though. It was fuzzy and he had no previous recollection of it. A hand buried in his hair and gripped tightly. It held onto him with an iron grip and slammed his head into the wall.

His arm moved on its own. It grabbed her by the wrist and put it back on the desk again. Unfortunately, his adrenaline had kicked in at that second, and he may have accidentally slammed her hand back onto the desk.

The bang of the collision echoed through the silent room like a gunshot. Everybody looked up at Harley who was about three seconds away from losing his complete shit.

“Sorry,” He croaked, releasing Sally’s wrist.

So, he did what any sane person would do. He grabbed his shit and got the hell out of there. Nobody followed him. Nobody cared.

On the walk out, he caught a quick glimpse of Peter. He was still sitting and staring at Harley in shock just like everyone else. Yea… He didn’t care either.

He didn’t go to a bathroom stall or a mop closet. He just walked out the doors and onto the street. He walked all the way down the street until he was home. The house was empty as always. All the hallways were dark and gloomy. The walls were empty and corners of the house gathered piles of dust.

None of that he cared about. What he needed were scissors. He collected what he needed from the kitchen and moved to the bathroom.

He looked at himself in the mirror. He had dark circles beneath his eyes and his hair had grown past his ears. He always had long hair but, usually, Abbie would have cut it before it had gotten that long.

He swallowed thickly before grabbing the scissors and a thick chunk of hair. He got to chopping. He had no plan. No idea of what he wanted. He just wanted it gone. It made him queasy thinking of how relentless that girl was about touching it. And all those weird memories attached to it. He wanted it all gone.

The sink was full of hair within minutes. Long strands of blond hair covered the whole basin and most of the surrounding floor. When he was finished cutting, he looked in the mirror again. It was the shortest it had ever been. The top was longer than the sides but it wasn’t long enough for him to sweep across his face as usual. It was patchy and rough. But he liked it. It was more manageable. More him.

~

Friday, December 22, 2017, 2:08 PM.

“Peter!” Ned rushed up to him in the hallway. They were on their way to decathlon practice during last period. “I finished calculating your stats from Wednesday. You’re not gonna believe this!”

“Is it bad?”

“No, it's nothing bad. It’s awesome! You’re way stronger than I thought. You’re endurance two times longer than Captain America-”

“Ned!” Peter whispered. Ned shut his mouth instantly before continuing in a more hushed tone.

“You don’t get it. We thought you were just strong and agile, but you’re way stronger than you think.”

“Yea? then why do I get my butt kicked every night?”

Ned rolled his eyes. “You don’t use your strength properly. You always pull your punches. If you actually tried, you could take anyone down.”

“You think I don’t know how to fight?”

Ned shrugged. “I don’t know! I just think maybe you could use some real training.”

“I have real training. One lesson. In a field.”

“Where’s an avengers boot camp when you need it, right?”

The auditorium was basically empty other than MJ who was lying on her stomach on the edge of the stage. Her face was buried so deep in a book she didn’t even see them enter.

“Losers,” She said quietly. “You following me?”

“It’s decathlon isn’t it?” Ned said awkwardly.

“I’m messing with you,” She finally looked up at them. Her eyes always seemed to look right through Peter. Like she was reading his mind. “Mr. Harrington is late.”

“Yeah sounds like him,” Peter breathed. Something about the way she looked was different to him. It wasn’t like the way he saw Liz. She was a senior and way out of his league. MJ though… She was different. He was comfortable just sitting with her. He trusted her. Even though she didn’t really do anything other than insulting him.

“You good?” She asked, one eyebrow cocked.

Was she actually reading his mind? How did she always know how he was going to react? Was he really that predictable? “Yea I’m- I’m great I just… Awesome.”

He nodded his head quickly, slightly panicking at how weird he was being. She was going to notice! She’d think he’s weird and not talk to him anymore.

The doors slammed open. The rest of the team flooded in lead by Flash.

“Sup, Parker? Did you get fired from Mcdonalds -I mean- Stark internship yet?”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Flash-”

The bell rang obnoxiously. Ned tugged Peter’s sleeve to get him to sit. Flash moved to sit on the stage with a snicker.

“Let’s get started guys!” Mr. Harrington shouted from the hallway. He appeared through the doorway huffing and panting. “I was almost late.”

“Everyone! Circle up,” MJ instructed. The group moved onto the stage and sat in a wide circle. “We’re gonna go around in a circle and say what we’re doing over Christmas break. Because Mr. Harrington wants us to. Who wants to start?”

“I’ll go first,” Flash said.

“Anyone else want to start?” MJ asked. A few kids laughed. Mr. Harrington glared at her. She sighed apologetically. “Flash, go ahead.”

Flash stood up excitedly. “This year my family is going to the swiss alps for a full skiing and winter hot tubbing package.”

“Why’d you stand up for that?” Abraham asked loudly.

Flash shot him a glare and sat back down.

“Anybody else?” MJ asked. Nobody said anything. Peter didn’t think he’d be able to even if he wanted to. He’d just stumble over his words. “Well, I guess if nobody else wants to share-”

“MJ, what are you doing this Christmas break?” Mr. Harrington asked, he sounded slightly irritated by MJ’s lack of enthusiasm.

“Do I have to?”

He motioned for her to stand up. She sighed and stood. “I’m not really doing anything over break other than a protest tonight outside city hall. It’s student-led and we’re fighting against the reelection of Norman Osbourne. Yea.”

She sat back down quickly and nudged Ned to go next.

Peter didn’t listen to anything he said though. Not on purpose of course. He was just busy thinking if he had any plans that night. He was always in the mood for some light protesting. Right?

~

Friday, December 22, 2017, 10:47 PM.

“May will understand if I’m late because of this!” Peter shouted over the crowd. It seemed like all of New York City was standing on the road in front of the town hall. Some election thing was happening and people were protesting in the street. “She’ll probably be seeing this on the news already.”

A massive news helicopter swept past overhead shining a huge spotlight directly on the crowd.

Peter was crouched in an alley just off the road from the crowd. He wasn’t going to intervene unless people were getting hurt. He didn’t really know all that much about what was happening on the political side of things. But, he knew things like that could get messy. He was there only as backup. Totally not because MJ would be there.

“I’ll take the trash out in the morning mom!” Ned shouted through the coms. Peter flinched at the sudden change in volume. His ears rang slightly. “I texted May about what’s happening.”

“What are they protesting anyway?” Peter asked. He couldn’t really tell based on their chanting and their signs alone.

“I don’t know. Some election thing for the city.”

“MJ is here?” Peter asked after finally spotting her in the crowd. Smooth Parker… Real freaking smooth.

There was a familiar clacking of Ned’s keyboard through the coms. “She said she was going at decathlon practice. When we all said what we were doing for Christmas break.”

At least Ned didn’t pick up on Peter’s kinda stalker-ish behaviour.

“I don’t get what you’re doing there though. It’s a normal protest.”

“What if something happens? Don’t things like this escalate really easily? I just want to make sure nobody gets hurt.”

There was a moment of silence over the coms. “It’s not because MJ is there is it? Is this gonna be Liz all over again?”

Peter rolled his eyes. “This isn’t Liz. MJ is different, I don’t know. What if something bad happens here?”

“Then swing in and help. She doesn’t know who you are.”

Peter sighed. “Yea I know…”

“I meant your identity! Right now you’re just Spider-Man. She won’t recognize you.”

“Oh right,” He wasn’t entirely sure why he suddenly got weird whenever MJ was around. She always somehow managed to materialize whenever his guard was down.

“Trouble sparking on the north side of the street. Some protesters are talking to cops. It doesn’t look good,” Ned had such a way of snapping back to focus. Peter could hardly keep up.

“On it!” He shot a web at the fire escape above him and yanked himself into the air. He swung forward and landed on the street sign behind the cops. “Hey, guys! Beautiful night for some neighbourly protesting, am I right?”

“Norman Osbourne is a monster!” A woman on the street shouted. “He’ll drag the city down to the gutter with him!”

“I bet he’s paying the cops to take his side!” A man in the crowd shouted. More people shouted in agreement.

The police officers glared up at Peter. One cop pulled his gun out and aimed it at him. “I got visuals on the vigilante. Requesting permission to open fire,” one cop whispered into his radio as if Peter couldn’t hear it.

Peter’s hands shot into the air. “Hey hey hey! Same side here. I want to protect people as much as you guys do-”

The radio on the cop’s chest crackled to life. “Hold your fire.”

There was a moment where nothing happened. Everyone seemed to hold their breath simultaneously.

All the hairs on Peter’s body stood up. Something in him screamed to move. Get out. Run away. He turned just in time to see the men standing on the roof behind them. They were SWAT or FBI or something. Bulletproof vests and everything.

One of the men was standing behind a telescope-looking thing. He spoke with another one of the soldiers before looking through the telescope.

It wasn’t a telescope. In fact, Peter had no clue what it even was when a brain-splitting scratch noise began ringing out. It didn’t seem to affect everyone. Maybe half the crowd was covering their ears.

Peter was the worst though. The sound was blinding. It echoed through the streets and slammed into his eardrums at an intense level. His head was pounding. He couldn’t tell if he was gasping for air or screaming or what.

It was over just as quickly as it began. Peter realized he’d lost his balance on the street sign and had somehow ended up on his knees on the sidewalk.

People around him were looking at him. Their mouths were moving but Peter couldn’t hear what they were saying. His ears were ringing too loud. Everything was silent for a moment.

Then all hell broke loose.

~

Friday, December 22, 2017, 10:49 PM.

A phone buzzed quietly on the counter. May picked it up and read the notification.

PETER WILL BE LATE. CHECK THE NEWS. -Love Ned.

The apartment had been so quiet for the past hour that she had almost forgotten Peter’s absence. The boy had been gone so often lately that May had almost grown used to it. She understood though. Peter was a teenager. Not just a teenager, a superhero too. She didn’t expect him to waste time with her when he could be out helping old ladies cross the street or whatever he did on patrol.

Even so, May missed her nephew. They were so close before Ben died. Something changed in Peter then. He was quieter, less focused, and just stressed out all the time. He expected too much of himself and she had no clue how to help him. She never saw him long enough to talk about it.

The tv was on in the living room. She sat on the couch and switched the channel. The news was covering a story on a student-led protest against the reelection of Norman Osbourn.

She squinted down at the street displayed from a birds-eye-view. There, hardly visible, crouching in an alley, was a tiny red figure. Spider-Man was at the protest? From what the news showed, the protest was peaceful. Just a group of teenagers outside city hall. She didn’t understand why Peter was missing curfew for this.

Until she saw a flash of red and blue across the television screen. Peter moved from the alley to a street sign. He talked to the cops for a moment before he suddenly fell off the sign and onto the street. Other people in the crowd were covering their ears. The crowd began moving quicker. May didn’t understand what was happening. Why was everyone falling over?

One of the cops threw a cylindrical can into the crowd. Clouds of white smoke emerged from the heart of the crowd.

She pulled out her phone and dialled Ned’s number. It hardly had time to ring before he picked up. “Ned, what’s happening over there? Is Peter okay?”

“I don’t know! Something messed with the suit censors and I lost him. He’s on his own.”

A pit began to form in her gut. Oh god… She thought. Not him. Not Peter.

~

Friday, December 22, 2017, 11:06 PM.

His head was pounding. All the sounds at once returned and the full volume of the screaming crowd hit him like a ton of bricks.

Someone put their hand on his shoulder. He whipped his head around to see MJ with a worried look painted on her face.

“Are you-” She stopped when a small metal can landed by her feet. She instantly kicked it away and pulled her jacket off. She used the bunched-up jacket to cover her mouth and nose and hauled Peter to his feet. “Get out of here. That was tear gas!”

“Let’s go,” Peter said, holding out his hand for MJ to take. She hesitated for a moment until the crowd began to run. Sirens rang out and policemen shouted. “Trust me.”

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. Peter pulled her against him. His vision swam as he shot a web at a nearby building. He pulled them off the street and onto the first roof he saw. MJ screamed. He didn’t blame her though. It was a pretty crazy manoeuvre for her first-ever web swing.

They landed gracefully on the roof and MJ instantly pushed Peter away. The distance didn’t help very much. Sure, they were on a roof 20 stories up. But, he could still hear the crowd echoing and shouting and running. Sirens rang out and horns honked. It all pounded in his head over and over. He couldn’t breathe. His throat felt like it was slowly closing and his eyes watered.

“I’m never doing that again,” MJ announced, patting down her now extremely puffy hair.

Peter collapsed to his knees. His vision swam as his head pounded even harder. He gasped for air but his throat was dry and scratchy. A harsh fit of coughs tore through him.

“What’s happening?”

“Can’t breathe-” Peter gasped.

“It’s the tear gas from the street! We should go,” MJ suggested.

“Karen,” Peter choked. “ MJ, call Mr. Stark. Help-”

He coughed harshly. MJ stopped and looked at him. For some reason, Peter felt like she could see right through the mask. Her gaze was so piercing it was almost like she knew he was Peter.

“Karen?” Oh god. That wasn’t good. Another fit of coughing erupted.

He could hardly breathe. His eyes burned and his head was still pounding.

“Take off your mask,” MJ said.

Peter would’ve laughed if he wasn’t suffocating.

“Seriously it might help,” She rolled her eyes when he didn’t comply.

Panic flooding through him. His blood ran just a little bit colder. “I can’t-”

“Take the mask off,” She ordered.

The dude with the telescope thing fired again. Peter and MJ threw their hands over their ears. The screeching noise echoing through their heads once again. Peter’s vision went white and the world around him went quiet. All except for the screeching sound.

It ended quickly again. Peter tried to catch his breath but the deeper he breathed, the more his lungs would burn.

He felt hands pulling his mask up over his neck and then his chin. He grabbed MJ’s wrists to stop her from revealing his face.

“Trust me,” she said.

His grip on her arms released. She lifted the mask up over his nose and left it there.

A cold wind blew against his sweaty face. Fresh air flooded his lungs and the burning subsided. His vision returned the more fresh air he breathed.

MJ was less blurry looking. She was looking at him with an expression he couldn’t quite read.

“I thought your mask might be holding the gas in; instead of keeping it out.”

“You saved me,” Peter breathed slowly.

“You saved me first,” She shrugged.

He took a moment to fully regain his breath. "You sure you're okay."

She laughed. "I've been to a lot of protests. This wasn't the first time things went badly."

Peter nodded. He had no clue what to say. He couldn't think of anything that wouldn't give away who he was. Though, he did consider for half a second just telling her.

"I'll see you later then. And thanks for... you know... not letting me get arrested," She disappeared down the fire escape. Peter took a moment to process what just happened.

~

Saturday, December 23, 2017, 1:53 AM.

Peter was hunched over his desk scribbling science notes as quickly as possible. He had about a thousand things to do and only one night to finish them. He wasn’t really sure what time it was when his spider-sense was triggered. He looked around his bedroom slowly trying to spot any sign of danger.

“Gah!” He jumped backwards against his desk when he noticed a face peering through his window. The person grinned and waved. It took Peter a moment to realize who it was.

Harley Keener was waving at him through his bedroom window. And he was bald? For a moment, Peter thought he was dreaming. That he’d fallen asleep at his desk and having a really weird dream.

Harley began gesturing to open the window. So Peter got up from his desk and pulled the window open.

“What are you doing?”

“Hey, Parker nice to see you too,”

“You couldn’t have just knocked on the front door?”

Harley hesitated. “I don’t want May to know I’m here.”

“Why?”

“Can I come in? I'm freezing my ass off.”

Peter backed away from the window enough for Harley to climb quietly inside. “What are you doing here? What happened to your hair?”

“Do you have skates?” Harley asked. Peter looked at him confused. “Like ice skates.”

“Probably? Why?”

“Cuz I wanna go swimming. Why do you think?”

“Are you high right now?”

Harley sighed dramatically. “Would it kill you to just go with it? Convincing you to hang out is exhausting.”

“It’s like two AM why do you wanna go skating?”

There was a knock on the bedroom door. May. Harley clapped his hands over his mouth and looked around wildly for somewhere to hide. Peter rolled his eyes and shoved him into the closet before quickly returning to his seat by his desk.

“Did you get home just now?” She asked. He could tell she had just been asleep.

“Uh no, I was just doing some homework. I got home a few hours ago.”

“Who were you talking to?”

“I was on the phone with Harley. He needed some help with the Spanish homework.”

“Okay… Don’t stay up too late, it's a school night.”

“Okay, goodnight.”

The door creaked closed. Peter waited until he’d heard May’s bedroom door close to get up and open the closet door. Harley was there grinning ear to ear.

“Nice cover, Parker. Now grab your skates. Let’s go.”

Peter rolled his eyes and rummaged through the closet. He found his old pair of skates and threw them over his shoulder. He grabbed a coat and a hat and out the window they went.

“You know my sister and I used to go skating all the time when we were kids. There was this lake nearby… Well, it was more like a pond but we called it a lake. Anyway, I fell through the ice one time and got hypothermia. The water was only like to my knees though so it wasn’t a huge deal.”

“So are you gonna tell me where we’re going?” Peter asked. They’d been driving for a while and Harley still had yet to tell him where exactly they were heading.

“Oh I found a pond-lake-thing nearby and it looked good to skate on.”

“You know there’s a ton of skating rinks in the city.”

“Yea, but those will be full of people.”

“Because everyone wants to go skating at two in the morning.”

“Says the one in a car on the way to a pond at two in the morning.”

Peter smiled at that. But it faded quickly. “You never answered my question. You not answering is kinda an answer in itself.”

“Obviously I cut my hair, Einstein,” Harley chuckled. Peter didn’t laugh.

They both knew the answer to the question. It was pretty stupid of Peter to ask anyway.

“Is it illegal for you to have fun or something?” He changed the subject. Peter wasn’t happy about it but he didn’t press it further.

~

Saturday, December 23, 2017, 2:47 AM.

“How are you on the ice?” Harley asked awkwardly.

Peter shrugged. “I haven’t skated in a while. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to balance anymore.”

“Oh come one,” Harley said, pulling as tightly as possible on the lace of his skate. “It’s just like riding a bike. You’ll do great.”

Harley finished tying his laces and stood up. He didn’t even wobble. He just strolled over to Peter and helped him to his feet.

Okay… Harley had to admit that Peter was surprisingly shaky on his skates. That puzzled him. Spider-Man was bad at skating?

“You’re not gonna fall over right?” Peter asked.

Harley couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Nah I’m good. C’mon man.”

Peter hobbled along behind him. He looked like a baby giraffe learning to walk for the first time.

“Come on, Parker. You can do better than that!” Harley released Peter’s hand and pushed himself forward. He glided gracefully across the ice. He spun quickly before gliding backwards toward Peter.

“Oh now I get why I’m here,” Peter said, a grin spreading across his face. “You just wanted to show off.”

Harley skid to a stop. Ice sprayed from the blades of his skates. “I absolutely did. And now it’s your turn. Ready?”

He took Peter’s hand and pulled him as he glided backwards. Peter wobbled for a moment before finally finding his balance. Harley nodded excitedly at his progress.

Peter got braver and used his foot to kick off the ice pushing him forward faster. He grinned ear to ear. Maybe he was still discovering new things about his super powers.

Harley released Peter’s hand and drifted behind and around him to his left side. He held his hands out ready to catch him if needed. It didn’t seem like he would though. Peter was a natural.

“I think you’re ready for some real speed. Race to the snow pile and back. Ready?” The two took off before anyone said go. Peter was insanely fast. Harley didn’t stand a chance.

“I think it was a little unfair,” Peter said, “You’re the one who taught me how to skate anyway. So you basically win by default.”

“Nah, I deserve the loss. My fault for going up against a superhero.”

Peter looked back at Harley surprised.“I’m freezing. Let’s go make some hot chocolate.”

~

Saturday, December 23, 2017, 5:06 AM.

May was startled awake. The horribly familiar sound of someone screaming in the apartment made her heart speed up.

“Peter,” She threw her blankets off and ran down the hallway. “Peter! Are you alright?”

The screaming stopped. May flicked the light on but was shocked to see that Peter wasn’t there. Instead, Harley was curled in on himself on the floor beside Peter’s bunk bed.

“Harley, are you okay? Are you hurt?”

He was shaking all over. “No, it was just a dream. I’m fine sorry for waking you…”

May deflated. She was instantly sitting beside him and wrapped him in a tight hug. He froze before softening and hugging her back.

“You’re alright honey,” she rubbed small circles against his back just like she always did for Peter until the shaking stopped.

She released him from the hug but didn’t leave his side.

“I’m sorry for waking you up. It’s stupid. You have work in the morning.”

“Stop it. I’m lucky you woke me up. My shift starts at seven and I wanted an early start. You did me a favour.”

Harley smiled a bit at that.

“Did Peter go back on patrol?”

Harley turned his gaze to the open laptop on the ground a few feet away. It showed Peter’s point of view. He was still swinging through the darkened streets. Harley had abandoned it and his half-empty mug of hot chocolate. “Yea I guess so. I wasn’t supposed to fall asleep. I’m supposed to be his backup.”

May deflated. “Harley, you look exhausted. When was the last time you really went to sleep?”

The boy shrugged.

“You know, Peter has the same problem. I can’t for the life of me get him to sleep.” Her gaze shifted to the laptop screen. “It could just be a teenager thing. But, I think it’s more than that. He thinks that if he does anything for himself the whole world will end. I’ve been begging him to take a day off all year.”

“Why hasn’t he?”

May shrugged. “I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand what goes on in Peter’s head but from my experience, he puts too much on himself. He needs to step back and ask himself what he can handle and what he can’t. If he puts too much more on himself he’ll collapse. Maybe he needs to talk to someone. Me… Tony… He’ll be okay though honey, He’s strong. He just needs to make smarter decisions.”

Harley nodded. “But what if he doesn’t have anybody to talk to? What if he chased all his friends away?”

She stopped for a moment and looked him in the eye. He was just a kid. “I don’t know what horrible things have happened to you Harley, but I want you to know that we care about you. And if you ever need anything you can come talk to me okay?”

He nodded again. “It’s just uh… My sister. She isn’t around anymore. And I don’t know how to talk about it. Like everybody moved on so fast and I feel like I’m the only one who still cares.”

May’s heart shattered. “I know. I’m so sorry Harley…”

“How can they just act like it never happened?”

“They’re not acting like it never happened. People process in different ways. For example, when my husband Ben passed, I took time off of work and spent a long time in bed. You wanna know what Peter did? Started swinging through the streets of New York in a red and blue sweatsuit.”

He smiled a bit at that.

“You shouldn’t feel bad for moving forward. If you don’t keep smiling when they can’t, then we might as well just be gone too. She’d want you to keep going.”