Chapter 5
They stood there stunned, they watched her as she walked away from them, and not once did she even look back at them.
“You think she didn’t recognize us?” asked Sam “I think she was just mad,” Bucky responded. “But she refused my hug, Nat never does that. I mean she may be angry at Steve, but we didn’t do anything wrong with her right?” asked Thor worriedly. Steve was like in his little bubble while the guys keep discussing what happened. He couldn’t process the whole situation that they are currently in.
Steve remained silent the entire drive back to his place, he still couldn’t fathom the encounter he had with Nat. Bucky never missed this reaction of his and decided that they’ll have to discuss this with the entire gang.
They spent the whole day in Steve’s apartment while waiting for the others to come. Steve was aloof the whole time, the guilt and regret eating him up once again.
The whole gang was there, even Pepper and Tony are present thru facetime, nobody wants to miss out on the drama that is Steve’s life at the moment.
“Maybe she was really upset and didn’t want to talk to you guys?” Rhodey said shrugging his shoulders. “That’s what I said to them.” Sam agreed, “or a boyfriend was with her?” added Tony. “She was alone, and we did see her leave all by herself,” Thor responded.
The entire time Steve remained quiet and just listened to his friends’ piece of mind. What got his attention was what Pepper said. “What if it was true? We hadn’t heard from Nat for the last three years who knows what could’ve happened to her during all those years?”
“What if she got into a car accident?” asked Thor, “you saw her Thor, she looked well, and not a single scar that we saw.” Bucky contradicted. “Well, to be fair Buck it’s not like we inspected her scars when we saw her,” Sam said.
Steve was still mute and Bucky could see his face drowning in guilt, “well what do, we even know about amnesia? Maybe she just made that up to make Steve feel guilty.” Bucky said irritatedly, he just wanted to ease Steve up a bit by convincing them that there’s a possibility that Nat might be faking it.
“It’s alright Buck” Steve finally said sensing Bucky’s agitation. “I saw how she looked at us, looked at me. It was an empty stare and I know that you saw that too.” Bucky looked at him and saw that resigned look he had so he just sat down calmed himself.
“Maybe she experienced what we call Post-traumatic Amnesia an amnesia that occurs immediately after a significant head injury.” Bruce told everyone “or it could be Dissociative Amnesia or Psychogenic Amnesia where you experience amnesia after significant trauma. You block out both personal information and the traumatic incident from your memory.” Tony chimed in apologetically.
“Maybe it happened after I left her, what if she got into an accident after I ran out of her.” “Or maybe because I hurt her so much that she had to remove me from her memory to protect herself from the pain I’ve caused her,” Steve said dejectedly.
They all went quiet as they heard Steve’s defeated voice.
“We’re not even sure about what happened.” Bucky broke the silence. “What do you mean Buck?” Sam asked, “We have to know what happened.” Bucky suggested.
“What do you suggest we do?” Bruce said, “We ask Nat about it,” Bucky said firmly like it was the only logical thing to do.
“How are we gonna ask her if we don’t even know where she is, it’s like we could just wait for her to show up in the grocery shop again.” Stated Thor, “Got it!” they heard Tony say “you can find her in Marvel photography studio.” They all turned to Tony and he just shrugged them off. “What? I’m Tony Stark just in case you forget.” He said sassily.
“And after you learn about the truth, what are you going to do?” asked Pepper. “Well if she’s faking it then Steve will have to do anything to earn her forgiveness and that closure she deserves.” “If it’s true, then Steve has another chance to fix his mistakes and make it right this time around.”
“I agree with Bucky, I think the real reason why you can’t commit to someone else is that you left your heart with her,” Tony stated.
“So, what do you say Steve?” asked Sam
Steve was still contemplating whether he was ready to face Natasha once again.
He was done being a coward, he was done running from her. This time he was sure of himself, sure that the love he has for Nat never faded, instead it grew more each passing day that he was not with her.
“Let’s do it.” He said confidently this time, “I’m getting her back no matter how hard it will be, I won’t make that same mistake again.” He said looking at them with determination.
“Oh good,” Tony said relieved “I already booked you an appointment to her studio.” “Good luck Steve, and go get your girl,” Tony said encouragingly.
“But what if she doesn’t take you back?” asked Pepper worriedly, Steve still determined answered “If she doesn’t, I guess it’s alright. I just need to earn her forgiveness and let her go if it’s what it takes for her to be happy. I just want her happiness even if that doesn’t include me in her life anymore.”
They all saw that glimmer of hope in Steve’s eyes and were just glad that he’s finally ready to release that burden he's been carrying for the last three years.
Steve felt reenergized and was ready to face another day with the hope of attaining Nat’s forgiveness and hopefully her love back.