Chapter 1
It worked.
It worked.
Peter had watched on in horror as Iron Man- no, Tony Stark, snapped. He watched as the aliens and alien-dogs turned to dust, just as he had a minute (5 whole years, Doctor Strange had said) ago. He watched as Thanos took one final look at the setting sun before he too turned to dust. He still watched as Tony stumbled and fell next to a hunk of rubble, his arm (oh god, his arm!) was scorched, the armor having retracted, displaying the mangled flesh beneath.
He could hear the mans’ heartbeat, slow and flickering. Somehow he made it over to Mr. Stark, unsure how his legs had even carried him when he felt so paralyzed. “Mr. Stark! Oh god, Mr. Stark…” He was cradling his head, but his eyes were unseeing and void of Peter's presence. He let out a sob, choking on his words, “Tony… we won, Mr. Stark. It’s okay, we won… you did it, sir…” A hand grasped his shoulder and Peter let it pull him away, no longer able to control his own body. He felt like he was floating. Mr. Stark was dead, a mantra repeating in his head until it felt like it was about to split open.
War Machine “Call me Rhodey” was the one to pull Peter away, his firm hand the only thing reconnecting Peter's mind to his body. All of the other Avengers were standing in silence as Pepper approached her husband, anguish written all over her face. Peter wanted to take Tony and hide him away forever, he wanted to shield the man from the gazes of those who have betrayed him. Captain America had no right being in the presence of a hero, but Peter would never say that to his face.
Doctor Strange watched from across the battlefield, seemingly impassive but his mind was running a mile a minute. With a split-second decision, he summoned a portal to where Tony lay and rested his hand on Pepper's shoulder. Tony’s eyes slowly shifted to Strange and back to his wife, understanding that his time was up. No, Stephen thought, this isn’t how it ends.
“We need a medic,” Stephen muttered to himself. Pepper sniffled and looked up at him, still holding her husband's hand.
“What?”
“C’mon, we need a medic! Anyone!” Peter watched in a dissociative state as the Black Panther called out to Shuri, telling her to take the wizard and Tony to Wakanda. Shuri ran to Strange and talked to him, but Peter couldn’t hear what they were saying; his head felt like it was underwater. A portal suddenly opened and Strange was levitating Tony through it, Pepper and Shuri close behind. He couldn’t see much, but it looked like a hospital on the other side. The portal closed and everyone left was standing in silence. The hand on Peter's shoulder suddenly squeezed, bringing him back to reality.
“Hey kid, what’s on your mind?” Tony was on Peter's mind. So was Titan, he could still taste the dust in his mouth as his body attempted to regenerate while simultaneously being destroyed. He was bone tired, all he wanted to do was lay down in his bed and never wake up.
Bed. Home. May. May! “May.”
“What did you say?”
Peter turned and the grip on his shoulder loosened. “My Aunt May. I want to go home.” The last part came out as a whisper. Was Aunt May dusted, or has she been without him the past five years? He wanted to hug her so badly.
“Okay kid, I can take you home.” Peter blinked and they were at his apartment building. He didn’t feel all there, maybe his atoms were still knitting themselves back together. Peter vaguely remembers getting in a car with War Machine and telling him where he lived, so he must’ve blanked once they started driving.
He was probably sitting for too long, as suddenly Rhodey was tapping his thigh. Peter finally looked at him and saw that Rhodey was handing him something. He stared at his hand but didn’t make a move to grab what he was holding. “It’s my number. We all just went through hell and back, Peter. Call me if you ever need anything. Don’t be a stranger.” He pressed the slip of paper into his palm and Peter accepted it. He wanted to thank Rhodey, but his words felt like marbles stuck in his throat. Giving a quick nod, Peter didn’t notice the look of sympathy in War Machine's eyes as he got out of the car. Luckily no one was out in the street, given the fact he was still in his suit with his face exposed.
The car pulled away and Peter watched until he couldn’t see it anymore. He felt tears burning the back of his eyes and heat crawling up his face- but he wasn’t able to cry. On the verge of having a breakdown in the middle of the road, Peter made his way up to his apartment, grateful that it still felt familiar. Realizing he didn’t have a key, Peter knocked on the door and hoped May was home. Hearing shuffling from inside, Peter suddenly realized he heard two heartbeats, not one. “Maybe she got a boyfriend?” That idea left a bad taste in his mouth, thinking that he and Aunt May would never be over Uncle Ben.
An older Asian woman opened the door and stared at him. Peter stared back just as confused. He shook himself out of his shock and timidly waved. “Um, hello. My name is Peter Parker and this, uh, I guess used to be my apartment.” He nervously wrung his hands together, his eyes focusing everywhere but the woman in front of him. “But… you live here now. Um, sorry for bothering you.” He made to turn away but suddenly felt a hand on his forearm.
“You said your name is Peter?” Her eyes were soft and non-judgemental, she reminded him of Aunt May.
“Um, yes ma’am,” Did he know this woman? If he did, he felt bad for not recognizing her.
She tugged his arm lightly, “Please, come in. I knew your Aunt. She told me you might come back here.”
“Oh, okay.” Peter didn’t even think twice about following this woman into his- her apartment. His senses weren’t going off, so he trusted that this woman wasn’t out to kill him.
It was a very traditionally decorated apartment, no sight of Aunt May’s leftover pizza boxes or his and Ned’s strewn about legos. The woman sat down on an old brown couch with too many throw pillows and motioned for him to also sit. Feeling out of place, he sat on the floor and pulled his knees to his chest, wondering what this woman knew about Aunt May. “So, Spiderman is May’s nephew,” She had a twinkle in her eye but didn’t seem like she said it out of malice. Peter wasn’t shocked, he knew that he was still in his suit, but he didn’t have the mental capacity to care. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. It’s just not everyday that Spiderman comes knocking at your door.” He shifted in his spot, suddenly very aware of everything around him, his senses dialing up to a seven.
“So sorry, let me introduce myself. My name is Shihong. My husband Jianyu and I live in your old apartment.” Shihong reached forward to the coffee table in front of her and pulled a sheet of paper out from a drawer. “I knew your Aunt May, and I was told that if a Peter Parker came knocking that I had to give him this letter.” She tightened her hand on the paper and gave a tight smile, “Oh, how much she dreamed about the day you would come home.” She wiped her eyes and took a breath, composing herself. “Sorry, sorry. Here, Peter. She loved you very much.”
Peter had a sinking feeling in his stomach and the taste of ash grew stronger in his mouth. Gently grabbing the paper, he unfolded it to find a letter written in his Aunt May’s handwriting.
“Peter. My baby, your home. I’m so sorry I’m not there to hug you, but it might be for the better because I would never let you go. I knew this day would come. When you were dusted, I lost another piece of myself. After Uncle Ben, you were my everything, but then you were gone and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I waited a year for you to come home, hoping maybe you just ran away and weren’t a part of the blip. I would’ve waited forever for you, but I ran out of time. The doctors found a tumor, they said it was bone cancer. Shihong has been helping me in my final months and I promise you I’m at peace. I told Shihong that they could have the apartment after I passed, but to always wait for you. I love you so much, and I’m sorry that I can’t be there for you baby. Peter, my Spiderboy, please continue loving life for me. Me and Uncle Ben will be watching and protecting you, even if you can’t see us. And take care of yourself, I know you’re going to blame yourself but none of this is your fault. I love you so much. I love you forever and always, and I promise I’ll see you again.
Love, your Aunt May”
Of course. Of course, May was dead. It wouldn't be Parker Luck if his last blood relative didn’t die, right? Peter felt like he was being dusted again, that the world was closing in on him and flipping his body inside out. He could feel tears on his face and saw the droplets on the sheet of paper but made no move to wipe his eyes. Feeling a presence next to him, Shihong had sat on the floor and was pulling his body towards hers. “Peter…” She tugged him again, and a noise bubbled from the back of his throat. It was a sound of despair, the sound of a child who lost everything. Collapsing into Shihongs open arms, he sobbed. She gripped him tight, rubbing his back and whispering into his hair. He was keening, his body shivering while his hands pulled at his suit. The room was filled with the sounds of grief and smelled like death, and all Peter could do was grit his teeth and groan as Shihong held a death grip on him.
After an hour, his tear ducts refused to produce anything more, but his body still shivered. Shihong was still holding him and shushing him, encouraging him to calm down. After hearing Peter go quiet, Shihong went to pull away but Peter clutched her like a lifeline. Sighing, she settled back down and ran her fingers through his hair.
“May was a wonderful woman,” Shihong spoke. “I met her at a support group for those who lost loved ones in the blip. We would occasionally go out to lunch and talk about the ones we lost.” She readjusted her arm so she could rub Peters back again. “I lost my son.” Peter shifted so he could hear her better. “He didn’t live with us, Cheung was a fine young man who lived on his own.” She smiled sadly but continued her story. “When your Aunt found out she had cancer, she requested that I go grocery shopping once a week for her as she was still working at the hospital.” Shihong grimaced. “But she got worse. The medicine wasn’t helping, neither were the chemotherapy treatments. I started coming over every day, helping her with anything and everything.” Smiling, she let out a little chuckle. “She was resistant, of course. Said she didn’t want to be a burden, offered to pay. But she was anything but that, and I refused to accept her money. I would bring her dinner and we would play Mahjong until the late hours of the night.”
Peter was absorbed, listening to how this woman took care of his Aunt. He was so grateful, not sure how he could ever repay her. Two hands pulled him so he was facing her, eyes locked onto his own. “She loved you very much, you know? May was always sure that you would come home, never losing hope. She slept with a picture of you and her husband under her pillow. She might not be here now, but she wanted me to make sure you knew what happened.”
Peter felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Can… is there somewhere I can lay down?” He needed to process. There were so many emotions running through his head that if he didn’t lay down, it would explode.
Staring for a second, Shihong gave a kind smile and stood up. “Of course Peter. There’s a guest room right down the hall, you can’t miss it.” Before Peter could take a step, she grabbed his hand. “Please, stay as long as you need. Stay for dinner tonight, will you? I’ll let my husband know you’ll be joining us.”
Peter couldn’t argue with Shihong, all the energy gone from his body. “I… okay.” She finally let go and told Peter she would wake him if he fell asleep. Trudging down the hallway, he saw that it was his old room that had been converted to a guest room. He gazed at a stain on the floor; it was blood from a patrol gone wrong. Overcome with a wave of new emotions, Peter dropped onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, feeling like his brain was overheating.
A list of names started repeating in his head and wouldn’t let him rest. His Spiderman suit was too tight, the room was too small, and his body was rejecting his mind. Peter elected to roll over and wait for Shihong to collect him for dinner.
Mom, Dad, Uncle Ben, Aunt May, Mr. Stark… Tony…