I need help
Knock Knock. My knuckles bang on the door. Light creeps through cracks under the door. “What?” I voice whispers from the doorway. I’m clutching onto the candle in my hand.
A couple of years ago it became my best friend. It has googly eyes. I named it Barry, cause why not. The door swings open and a tired Tony looks over me. “I and Barry need help” I squeak.
His eyes widen taking in Barry. “The candle is Barry?” He whispers. I nod aggressively. “Barry fell” I whisper. I then drop Barry and he smashes into pieces. “Why would you do that Peter!” He yells snatching my arm and pulling me to the side.
“Barry!” I scream. “Why would you do that?!” Tony cries once again. “No Barry! He committed suicide! Barry No! Barry! You can’t leave me I have no other friends!” I scream trembling and falling on my knees trying to piece him back together. “Peter no stay back!” Tony screams pulling me back once again.
“No!” I scream at the top of my lungs. A door opens and I see a very confused Wanda open her door and peeked out. “You hate Barry?” I whisper. Tony shakes his head. “Just go back to sleep ok? I’ll clean it up” I shake my head. “No Barry deserves a funeral”
Wanda closes the door behind her. “I-I could help?” She asks. Tony sighs “Yeah ok” She walks over picking up the pieces. “We might order a new Barry this one could be harmful” She whispers. I shake my head. “This Barry only” I whisper. “Ok,” She tells me. Tony has disappeared. “Wanda? Do you have a friend like Barry” I whisper.
She looks at me then purses her lip. She nods quickly. “Yeah-Um yeah I do” I pick up one of Barry's eyes. “Barry was my only friend,” I say. She turns her head suddenly. “No-No Peter, you have friends, Like me, I’m your friend right?” I nod quickly. “Yeah, I guess” I whisper back.
She collects Barry and places him in a bag. “Let's have a funeral tomorrow ok?” I nod slowly. “Do you want anything?” She whispers. “A hug?” I say back. Her face lights up and she hugs me tight.
“Anytime” I smile. “Night Night” She whispers closing the door quickly. I wander around the tower for hours. Scared to sleep. The real reason I broke Barry was so I had an excuse to stay up.
Every time I close my eyes I see May’s rotting corpse and dead eyes. She moans and groans coming closer. Too close for my liking. I try to tell her she is dead but she just stumbles towards me. I scream and she falls on top of me. Her rotten corpse lays there still.
I feel the rancid skin rubbing against me. She then whispers in my ear “I found you” At that point, I wake up screaming. That’s why I don’t want to sleep. I circle around the table. I can’t sleep and fear lines the bottom of my stomach.
I run into his room jumping into Tony's bed. He jumps awake. "She's gonna get me" I whisper. Frantically searching for something, anything and I find nothing.
Tears fill my eyes and I cry out. "She's gonna get me" I yell. Tony tilts his head in question. "Her corpse May she's gonna get me!" I yell. "No kid that's not possible we buried her" I shake my head. May fills my head. Her hair. "No May" I whisper. I reach out slightly.
It's as if I'm reaching out from May. But I know she'll never be there. Always gone and never there for me. I want someone there. Someone to tell me it's ok. I don't know why I was avoiding the help. The help I need.
Cause I'm a dumb stupid fucking brat. I just want May. I miss her so much. The feeling makes me feel so sick. My stomach feels like it's being pulled and stuffed. Why May?
I lean forward sobbing loudly into Tony's chest. I whimper. He holds me. Holds me so tight. I needed that so much. I never know how bad it got. My heart hurts. My body hurts. I feel so numb. Like the oceans pulled me into the ocean when it's freezing cold.
Like it's swishing me around. Numbing my body. I let it. Floating away. It holds onto me. I can't escape and I never will. I feel so cold and emotionless.
Every time I breathe I just feel the pain my whole body is. I've been so dumb and stupid and annoying. Refusing what's good for me. I'm so dumb. So So dumb. "I promise! I promise I'll be good! I promise please just make the pain go away! It hurts" I scream into Tony's chest.
"It's ok Pete we'll get the help I promise ok?" He whispers rocking me back and forth. "No, I've been so dumb So stupid rejecting everyone's help! I didn't hate you I just didn't know how I felt! I swear! I swear I'll be good. I'll try and get better!" I scream gripping onto Tony's shirt. "Sh Sh we know it's been really hard for you lately. We'll help you ok just calm down buddy stop crying" He pats my head. My sobs quiet down. My tears dry and I start breathing normally.
"Please don't leave me" I whisper when I feel Tony shift. "I'm not leaving you and I won't ever leave you" He whispers. I just shrug. "I want help, I promise I'll do anything just make it stop hurting" Tony frowns scanning over my body. "What hurts?" I shake my head. "Every time I close my eyes I see May. She is everywhere and my hurt hearts so bad. I miss her so much! She won't ever be there for me and I never got to tell her I loved her and- and" I stop out of breath. I start sobbing even louder. "No Peter May knew you loved her so, so, so much don't ever say that ok? You are the sweetest thing ever and you didn't deserve her dying"
I just clutch onto Tony. "Ok I love you and nothing will change that" He whispers. "I love you too" I whisper back. Falling asleep in tears, snot, and Tony's arms around me.