Chapter 27
With the new memories of Ohio unlocked, Yelena finds herself reminiscing on the time she was innocent and naive. She stares at the half photo strip of her and Natasha as children.
“Do you think Melina will let us have some of the photos?” Yelena asked Natasha quietly. Melina kept the photos of their three years in Ohio. She could have thrown them away or burned them. The Red Room could have taken them from her. But Melina still has them even after all these years.
“I think so?” Natasha glances down at Yelena. “Do you want pictures?”
Yelena does. There is one photo that she wants in particular. It’s a photo they had taken at the fair. Yelena’s lips were dyed blue and Natasha was hauled over Alexei’s shoulder and they were the perfect little happy family.
“Do you remember how you said you’d adopt Yelena Belova if you could?” Yelena continues, moving to curl into her sister’s side.
“Yeah,” Natasha’s fingers undo the hair ties on Yelena’s braids to comb her fingers through them. “Why?”
Yelena takes a few deep breaths as she gathers her thoughts and hopes that Natasha doesn’t reject her idea before she hears it. “I think I want to visit the farm.”
“No.” Natasha immediately replies and Yelena’s heart drops.
“But--” Yelena starts but Natasha shakes her head.
“No. I said no. I’m not willing to budge on this,” Natasha said firmly and Yelena pulls away from her.
“I want--” Yelena tries again but Natasha cuts her off.
“I said no. Please don’t fight me on this,” Natasha shakes her head once again.
Frustration bubbles up inside of Yelena. “But I want--” Natasha moves to interrupt again. “Shut up!”
Yelena didn’t mean to shout at her or raise her voice. “Shut up! Listen to me! Listen to me! I want to talk!”
“Yelena--” Natasha reaches toward her but Yelena shoves herself away.
“No! Listen to me, I want to talk!” Yelena wraps her arms around herself. “Stop interrupting me!”
“I don’t want to go to Melina’s farm,” Natasha tells her.
Yelena’s tired and frustrated and feels like she’s six again when she doesn’t know how to show she’s angry. “I do! I want to go!”
“I don’t want you near Melina,” Natasha says and Yelena shakes her head.
“No-- I want-- argh!” Yelena stomps her foot, angry tears collecting in her eyes as she tries to articulate what she wants. “I want--” Yelena needs to hit something or hurt something. She digs her fingernails into her thigh and reaches up to pull on her hair.
“Hey--” Natasha immediately moves forward. “Don’t do that--” Natasha is trying to pry Yelena’s fingers from her hair.
“I need it out-- there’s too much--” Yelena needs a fight. She needs a spar. She’s so frustrated and upset.
“Okay. I hear you, little one. Gimme a sec,” Natasha pulls away briefly to slip out the door and Yelena can’t help the stab of abandonment she feels, even if she knows that Natasha is coming back.
Natasha returns a moment later. “Come on.” She pulls Yelena to her feet, keeping her hands wrapped firmly around Yelena’s wrists to keep her from hurting herself.
Ayo is standing just outside the door and glances at Yelena. “The courtyard is this way.” Ayo leads them down the hallway and out into an empty courtyard. “This is where the Dora Milaje train.”
Natasha lets Yelena go. “Rules for sparring.” She orders.
“No weapons. No vest--” Yelena gets out. “I’m allowed to tap out. I’m allowed to stop when I want.”
“Good,” Natasha backs up a few steps. “Come at me when you’re ready.”
Yelena doesn’t hesitate to lunge forward.
Yelena fights hard. She keeps pinning Natasha down until her sister either reverses their position or taps out.
“I want you to listen to me!” Yelena yells as she flips Natasha over her shoulder. Natasha continues the momentum and takes Yelena with her. “I want to go to Melina’s farm!”
She rolls onto her sister but Natasha bucks her hips and tosses Yelena over her head until she’s on top.
“I want to talk to Antonia--” Yelena hooks her foot over Natasha’s leg and rolls to pin Natasha down. “I want photos. I want-- I want to see Melina.”
Natasha breaks free and jumps to her feet, Yelena following moments later.
“I want-- I want to ask Melina to unadopt me!” Yelena lunges and swings her body until she can wrap her legs around Natasha’s throat. “I want you to adopt me! I want something real!”
“This is real!” Natasha gasps out from her place, reaching up to tap on Yelena’s calf.
Yelena lets her go and falls to the ground, sprawling out as a sob crawls its way out of her throat. “I don’t want to be Lena Romanoff. I want to be Yelena Belova and I want to be yours.”
Natasha drops to her knees next to Yelena. “You are mine. Your name doesn’t change things.”
“It does,” Yelena heaves a deep breath in before the first sob breaks free. “It’s my name. It’s mine. I want to be adopted by you, not somebody fake.”
“Oh little one,” Natasha reaches out and tugs Yelena to sit up. “I’m sorry.”
“Please, I wanna be yours,” Yelena cries and feels Natasha pull her into her arms. “I wanna be yours, momma. I don’t want anybody to take me from you.”
All of the recent memories of Ohio brings back an old fear of Yelena’s. She’s scared of being taken by those bigger and stronger than her.
Natasha kisses her forehead and pulls her close. “You’re mine, little one. You’re my kid… but this must have been weighing on you a lot and I didn’t listen to you. I’m sorry.”
“If we go after Wakanda and the triggers are gone then she can’t hurt me again,” Yelena whispers, pressing her face into the crook of Natasha’s neck. She feels Natasha’s thumb reach up to wipe away the tears on her face. “Please, momma?”
Natasha lets out a long sigh. “I don’t like the idea. I don’t want you anywhere near her or Alexei…” Natasha starts but quickly continues before Yelena interrupts. “But I’ll think about it, okay? If everything goes well with BARF…”
Yelena nods her head, knowing that this was the best she was going to get.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to you,” Natasha kissed her forehead.
Yelena sags into her sister. “I’m sorry I got mad and yelled.”
“I know,” Natasha strokes her hair. “You were feeling a lot and didn’t know how to get it out, right?” Yelena nods into her shoulder. “I’m not upset with you.”
“I’m still sorry,” Yelena doesn’t make a meaningless promise that it won’t happen again.
“I know you are. I forgive you,” Natasha kisses the top of her head. Yelena lets out a soft sigh, closing her eyes in content. “I love you.”
Yelena sinks into the hold. “I love you too.” She murmurs. The safest place she feels is just curled up in her sister’s arms.