Chapter 14
“What about your Avengers? You’ll leave me for them.” Yelena had once accused.
“I’d leave them for you,” Natasha had promised her. “You come first. You always did.”
Yelena had never come first before.
Yet, here Natasha was. She was keeping the promise that she had made to Yelena back in the guest bedroom of Melina’s farm.
It hadn’t even been half a year since Natasha and Yelena had reunited. Natasha had yet to break a promise to her. Yelena had never been left behind or abandoned or pushed out of the way.
Natasha had loved her and cared for her and did everything in her power to ensure that Yelena was safe.
Natasha told Yelena so many things and worked hard to help Yelena understand the world.
“My point is, you do not have to forgive anyone. You forgive only when you are ready.”
“Your feelings are yours alone, Yelena. Nobody can tell you how to feel about them, not even me.”
“It’s okay. It’s just me and you. I don’t care how childish you are.”
“Now it’s a promise. I won’t leave you.”
“I’ll love you no matter who or what you wanna be.”
“I’m going to do everything that I can to prove to you that I’m not going anywhere.”
“Crying is normal. You can cry however much you want. It’s alright to cry.”
“You are my baby sister. That’s enough for me.”
“I will come for you. Nothing will ever keep us apart.”
“You are a teenager in a lot of pain and who has suffered a lot. They did not make you. You are not a widow of the Red Room, you are Yelena Belova, my little sister.”
Natasha was the embodiment of everything that Yelena needed.
Natasha leaves her closest friend’s house early because he and Yelena got into a fight.
Yelena wasn’t shipped off by herself. She wasn’t sent back alone. Natasha didn’t even yell. She didn’t hit, humiliate, or demean Yelena.
Natasha put Yelena first and Yelena doesn’t know whether to feel guilty or relieved.
Natasha puts Yelena, someone she has known for three years, over Clint, someone she has known for more than six.
Clint drives them back to the jet but only because Cooper doesn’t want to be left alone with his father at the moment.
Yelena rides with Natasha in the back seat this time, MJ riding in the passenger seat. Yelena curls up into her sister.
It’s quiet in the car. There’s no conversation and Clint only turns the radio up to disrupt the silence.
Natasha strokes Yelena’s hair and doesn’t chastise her for not wearing a seatbelt because she’s not wearing one either in favor of holding Yelena close.
Clint drops them off at the jet and shuffles in place as they load their bags.
“Listen, kid--” Clint starts to speak but Natasha subtly moves in front of Yelena. “Nat, please.”
Yelena pats her sister’s arm. “It’s okay.”
Natasha glances at her but shuffles so Yelena could face Clint.
“Fuck…” Clint reaches up to rub the back of his head. “I’m sorry. I overreacted. What happened in the field should not have happened. I escalated things to an extreme point.”
“I don’t understand a lot of things,” Yelena tells him, watching his body language. He’s practically radiating guilt and shame. “I need things that may be obvious to you spelled out to me.”
“I know that now…” Clint sighs. “I never for a second thought that you would intentionally put my children in harms way.”
“I’m still learning that not every touch is meant to hurt me,” Yelena confessed, pushing her hands into her pockets to hide the way they tremble slightly. MJ moves to her side and wrapped a hand around Yelena’s wrist and tugs her left hand from her pocket to hold it.
Yelena’s breath hitched, gratefully squeezing MJ’s hand.
“Yeah. I have not been good toward you. I know that you’re a child but my body recognizes you as an assassin and it just makes me pissy and irritable toward you. It’s not your fault. It’s my own issues,” Clint lets out a long sigh. “But please don’t let me being a dipshit stop you from seeing my children. You’re their Aunt Lena and they don’t deserve you to punish them.”
“I won’t,” Yelena lets out a small smile at the thought. “Who else is going to send me blurry pictures of cool rocks they find?”
Yelena looks up at him as he shifts uneasily. “You’re a good person, Yelena. I wish you nothing but the best.” Clint said.
Yelena nods her head. “I hope the next time I see you will be on better terms.”
Natasha sets a hand onto her shoulder and Yelena turns to start to walk toward the jet to give Natasha a moment with Clint.
“It’s okay, Belova,” MJ murmurs as they board the jet.
“It doesn’t feel okay,” Yelena takes a seat and MJ flops into the spot next to her.
“This is for the best,” MJ nudges her shoulder.
“Everyone keeps saying that. It probably is. But this whole thing is my fault and I think everybody is angrier at Clint than me,” Yelena lets out a long sigh and rests her head onto MJ’s shoulder.
“You know that I’m never going to lie to you, Belova,” MJ squeezed her hand. “This is your fault. You did something that you shouldn’t have and you got in trouble.”
Yelena swallows hard because she can always trust MJ to give her the facts and not bullshit her.
“But you didn’t know that you were doing something wrong. Nobody had told you. What was not your fault was the way that Clint handled the situation,” MJ continues, running her thumb over the back of Yelena’s knuckles when Yelena tightens her grip. “Clint should not have jabbed at you. Clint didn’t need to keep fighting you. Clint didn’t even have to raise his voice at you in the first place.”
Yelena closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I feel stupid for not understanding these things.”
“Hey,” MJ twists to look at her and Yelena reluctantly straightens and opens her eyes. “You may not know a lot of things. That’s okay. I don’t know a lot of things that you do.”
“Like what?” Yelena frowns.
“Well, I can’t wedge myself in small spaces like you can,” MJ starts. “I can’t do ballet. I can’t braid hair like a princess…” She lists. “You’re a good person, Belova. And… I love you. You’re my best friend.”
Yelena smiles, feeling like she could breathe easier. “I love you too, MJ. I’m really glad to have met you.”
Natasha boards the jet and gestures for Yelena to join her in the cockpit. Yelena squeezed MJ’s hand before standing and moving to sit in the co-pilot's seat but Natasha is already there.
“You fly,” Natasha said and Yelena smiles slightly because flying required focus and took her mind off of things. She sits in the pilot's seat and pulls the headset on.
Yelena takes off and just enjoys watching the sky in front of her.
They’d have two days until their pickup came to take them to Wakanda. Yelena was already tired and stressed but she really hoped that they could help her.
Maybe they could help her not be so violent. So angry. Maybe they could make it so she didn’t yearn for a pair of handcuffs around her wrist to sleep at night. Maybe they could make it so Yelena didn’t feel the need to dress in clothes with a lot of zippers and buttons at night because she was afraid of being vulnerable when she slept.
She just wanted to be a normal teenager. She wants to be like MJ and like Peter.
Maybe she could have gone to school. But she couldn’t. Her formal education consists of kindergarten. She hadn’t even started the first grade before being carted off to the Red Room. She had her pretty pink backpack with a blue bow that she picked out just for her first day of ‘big girl school’ that never ended up being used.
She still couldn’t even read and write in English very well. Not to mention her laundry list of triggers made it so she wouldn’t last a day in high school.
So maybe she couldn’t be normal. MJ and Peter like her well enough. Yelena isn’t normal and she knows that but sometimes she can be with one of her people and for a few moments she’ll forget that she can kill a man six ways with a spoon.
Her people. People who didn’t care about where she came from or what she did. People who care about her because of who she’s carving herself into.
Clint may not be fond of her but Yelena has enough people who are and that is all that matters.