Left Behind

As Steve adjusts his button-up shirt, Tony Stark stands awkwardly beside one of his many, many cars. They've been planning this talk for a week. The idea had been enthusiastically accepted by Midtown Tech. When they asked why two avengers suddenly had interest in their school, Tony was forced to respond with a vague 'why not'. He couldn’t exactly say ‘one of your students helped me saved the world in an alternate timeline during an apocalypse’. They’d accuse him of drinking. Which, to be fair, he’s been known to do that. He has been doing that recently… Peter was the only one that stopped him.

Tony runs his fingers along his custom-made Bugatti. Covered in over the top red flames against the black paint, it’s one of Tony’s favourites (and that’s not because Peter took a liking to it when they’d work together in the lab). Along the side it says ‘Stark’. It’s big and obnoxious, but it’s him, and when Steve asked him which one that they’d be taking today he was drawn to it. People will know it’s him as soon as their five miles in the school’s vicinity, the roar of the car reaching further than it should, but isn’t that the point? He wants Peter to know. Maybe it’ll poke a memory out of him.

He smiles at his reflection in the wind mirror, and for only a second, he thinks Steve is Peter. He has to blink to return to this moment, to remember Steve’s here and that nobody died on that dreadful day. His friends, his family, his darling Pepper and Morgan, they’re here and Tony was the one to save them (alongside Strange and Peter). But they don’t know. Not even Peter remembers his own sacrifice. He sighs, taking a deep breath and turning towards Steve who’s tying a tie, shoving it under his collar.

“Don’t you think the blazer and tie is a bit much for a school event?” Tony laughs but stops when he sees Steve’s face fall even if it only stays as a frown for a second. He feels bad. “Sorry. You look fine. The kid’s will love how much effort you’ve put into your ‘get up’.”

Steve looks down at himself. White shirt, black slacks, black blazer (not done up), and a plain black tie. It’s a bit ‘boy’s first dance’ but made expensive. It’s good. He looks good, always does. And Tony doesn’t want to make him upset, even if he’s a little too formal for a simple talk. Tony himself is wearing a ACDC t-shirt, black jeans, and a nice jacket Pepper got him one year for his birthday. Along with his sunglasses, the outfit is familiar. In fact, if you’d google his name then he’s pretty sure at least five photos of this exact photo would already be on google images.

“…Should I get changed?” Steve asks.

Tony forgot how insecure he’d get at times. When they first met, he hadn’t thought that Steve Rogers (‘Captain America’, the ‘first avenger’, the guy that started it all) would be insecure. He was naïve to the fact that even the most perfect men have problems. And since the day he saw Steve frowning in the mirror, telling Tony his suit didn’t look good, Tony vowed to make sure he made his co-worker feel good. All of them. Not just Steve. He loved them all like family and he never wanted them to feel bad about who they were. Even when he was drunk, he’d sing their praises. And as much as they hated him when he drowned himself in bottles, they couldn’t help but smile when Tony told them all why they were so lovely (but that was a small percentage of the time. They’d usually find him having a breakdown as he chugs his third bottle… but that’s a different story).

Tony shakes his head, walking up to Steve and straightening out the lapel of his jacket. He pats it down, smiles at Steve, and then grabs the keys to what he names the ‘Stark-mobile’ which were behind where Steve was standing. “No. I like it, Steve. Honestly. And you chose the notch lapels- they’re the best kind. Goes with everything.”

Steve laughs as they get in the car. He’s in the passenger seat, Tony in the drivers. “That’s what I told Buck. He told me no jacket, but I think he just likes to see with me less cloth-“,

“That’s where I’m going to stop you, soldier,” Tony says, as he turns the engine on. It roars, loud enough that he can’t hear Steve as he tries to tell him about Bucky enjoying him naked. “Nope, no thank you,” Tony shouts, turning the car and driving out of the garage.

They drive in silence for a while, Tony putting on a song on in the background that Steve looks confused about. But as they get closer and closer to the school, the nerves get him. He has to drive to the side of the road as his hands are shaking too hard for it to be safe enough to continue.

“Shit,” he breathes, putting his hand over his heart. He can’t breathe. He throws the door open and falls to the ground. It’s a panic attack, for sure, and everything feels too much. The sun’s too bright. The wind too loud. Even the feel of the mud underneath his fingertips feels like it’s stabbing him. “Oh god,” he whispers. Is his heart breaking? Is it a heart attack? The shrapnel got to him. That’s how harsh it feels.

This happens for five minutes. It’s not until his vision comes back that he realises Steve’s been sitting beside him this entire time. He’s counting down from ten, repeating it over and over, and trying to get Tony to copy his breathing. Tony looks up. The two of them make eye contact, and Tony quickly wipes away his tears as not to look weak in front of Steve. “Sorry,” he whispers. “I just- I don’t think I can do this, Steve. I can’t see him… knowing he won’t remember anything we’ve been through.”

“I think you can,” Steve says. He puts his hand on Tony’s shoulder, waits until it’s obvious that Tony won’t run from the small touch, and squeezes it softly. “Even if he doesn’t recognise you from your shared memories, you’re Tony Stark. Didn’t you say Peter knew you before?”

Tony nods. “Y-yeah. He lost his shit when he walked into the tower the first day we met. I was a drunken mess, though. I shut him down straight away. But he wormed his way into my heart. He does that Steve, you’ll love him.”

Steve’s grin is fond. “Why don’t you tell me about him?”

Like a sudden switch, the question makes Tony relax. Speaking about Peter, all his worries float away. He speaks for minutes. He tells Steve that this was Peter’s favourite car. They worked on it together. He even took him out for a spin once. Peter drove. It was terrifying. The kid’s smart. But, damn, he couldn’t drive- even after Tony tried to show him. It takes time, though, and there’s nothing Peter couldn’t do. Apparently (according to Tony). He speaks about the kid’s brains, how kind he is (how he’s a carbon copy of Steve but even more righteous, if that’s possible). And after his hands stop shaking, he realises Steve’s made him talk so he’s less afraid to see him again.

“You’re an evil genius, Steve Rogers,” Tony whispers.

They get back in the car and drive for a few minutes before pulling into a 'VIP' parking place reserved just for them. Tony whistles as he walks down the red carpet, which is made up of two old rugs that have been sliced into rectangles and then coloured. It's funny how much Steve grins at them. He appreciates it when people put forth effort, even if they haven't spent much time on it (clearly). Steve is also an artist. Maybe he used to make similar things as a kid. Although he doubts that considering Steve grew up in a vastly different time to what it is now.

Tony resists the urge of asking the headmaster if the paparazzi were showing up too, but then he sees the student photographers standing timidly behind him. He waves, poses for a photo with Steve and then is told that they have two students coming now to give them a tour. Tony nods. If he’s honest, he’s uninterested in seeing the actual school. It’s a school. They all look the same.

Oh, but then, he quickly changes his mind. Because the kid who’s walking up towards them, a smile so heavenly on a face that used to hold so much pain, is… Pete. It’s his Pete, followed by another student he feels he should recognise. He feels as if he’s about to collapse. Steve notices and puts a hand on his arm to keep him up.

“Mr Stark and Mr Rogers, this is-“

“Peter?” Tony whispers.

“Uh, yes,” Mr Morita says, looking confused. So does Peter. “You know each other?”

“Yeah,” Tony nods. “No, wait. No. I just- uh- recognise his face. We’ve been looking for smart kids for this programme- providing college grants- and I just, um… Friday, my AI, marked Peter up as one of the best… choices.”

He’s normally a good liar. Has been for a long time, since the moment he was able to talk, but here? He makes himself look like an idiot. Trying to wave it off as one of his many eccentricities, he shrugs and walks straight past Morita towards Peter. He looks over his face, spots the edge of a bruise, and knows that it’s from Spider-Man. He’s still doing it. It’s not just a ‘end of the world’ kind of thing.

“…Is there something, uh, on my face?” Peter laughs, clearly a bit confused and weary at the same time. But he’s still smiling, like he’s excited to meet him- so excited that even the fact that Tony’s weird doesn’t make him feel too uncomfortable. Tony’s been an idol of his for a long time. Tony knows that because the kid told him before- not that he’d remember that.

Tony wants to put forth that he knows Peter’s Spider-Man without letting everyone else in the room know too. He narrows his eyes, ignoring the pit in his stomach that feels so weird to be around Peter without their usual dynamic, and shrugs. “Thought I saw a spider on you, kid. Must’ve been imagining things, hm?”

Peter’s eyes go comically wide, at the same time as his friend next to him (oh, that must be Ned) coughs. “Pft, what?” Ned says, “no spiders here. Even if there were, Peter wouldn’t know. He hates spider’s. Can’t stand the things. Spiders? What’s a spider?”

Tony stifles a laugh as Peter elbows Ned in the gut, whispering “Ned, you’re making it obvious,” simultaneously. He tries to be quiet enough that nobody would hear. Tony does. Steve must do too, but luckily enough it seems as if the photographers and Mr Mortia don’t have a clue what’s going on. “Anyway! Mr Stark!” and, God, does that hurt like a stab to the chest. He tries not to show that it affects him. “As you know, my name’s Peter and this is Ned and we’re going to show you and Mr America- I mean, uh, Mr Rogers around. Today. Around our school.”

Tony hears Ned whisper “smooth, Peter,” in his ear.

“Well, I’m looking forward to it. Aren’t you, Mr America?” Tony asks, teasing Peter. He winks and lets out a genuine laugh as Peter’s face turns pink.

Peter’s school is nice. He’d say in between extortionary and average. The rooms are large, the kids seem brilliant, but isn’t the nicest place in the world. Tony’s seen a lot in his life. But even if it isn’t the fanciest place he’s ever been shown around, it has to be his favourite. Because this is where Peter is, it’s where he’s reunited with his kid- and it’s where he hopes to restart their relationship.

Once they get into the cafeteria, Ned offers both Tony and Steve one of the staff’s most esteemed creations. It’s a hot chocolate. Tony graciously accepts, gives the ‘chef’ a one-hundred-dollar tip and tells her to make one for the kids too (telling her to add a circle of marshmallows and two sugars in Peter’s as that’s exactly how he liked it).

They sit down to ask Tony and Steve questions for the school paper. Peter is with Tony, Ned with Steve. Tony steals a glance over at Ned and chuckles underneath his breath. He couldn’t have more stars in his eyes if he tried. Peter takes a sip of his drink halfway through writing some notes after Tony told him about his work as an avenger and in Stark Industries. He widens his eyes at the taste and stops, looking down at it and then back at Tony as if knew the world’s most hidden secrets.

“This, uh, tastes different than usual,” Peter smiles, “it’s like how my aunt does it…”

“I told the chef how you like it- I mean, how I presumed you’d like it- as you…you’re a child,” Tony says, looking over at Steve for help. Steve doesn’t seem to notice, chatting away to Ned as if they were two old friends catching up. Steve looks his age, holding the mug with two hands and periodically nodding as Ned asks him questions at the speed of a bullet. It’s a shock he can keep up. “…It’s how I like it too, uh- so…”

Peter narrows his eyes, setting the mug down. “…Okay,” he whispers, as if he was trying to make sense of it himself. He takes a few seconds, before he looks back up at Tony- taking a deep breath, he says, “okay, so- Mr Stark, can I ask you something? Personal? It’s off the record, so don’t worry about it going through Midtown tech’s paper.”

Tony nods. “Sure, kiddo. Whatever you want.”

“That’s the thing. You seem to know me. Not in a ‘I researched you for a grant’ or ‘I know your secret’ kind of way. You know me, but I don’t know how. But I can feel it- when I look at you- it’s like I’ve spoke to you before. Which is stupid- crazy, even, and the other day I felt so anxious about this feeling that I’ve lost something about me and maybe it’s to do with you?”

Tony sighs, his shoulders slump, and he looks at Peter as the kid stares, clearly waiting for an answer. “How would you feel if I told you that you’re not crazy… that- that you have every right in thinking that we have shared memories?”

“…Then I’d ask you why I can’t- why I don’t know you…when I think I should,”

“It’s complicated, Peter,” Tony shakes his head, a fond and exasperated smile on his lips. “There’s magic involved and-,”

“Magic?! No way- like Houdini?”

Tony laughs. “No, not like Houdini.”

“Hm, like- like in those Disney films?” he gasps, “have I been cursed?” he adds, with a whisper that only they can hear.

“Pete,” Tony says, stopping him on his rant. Taking Peter’s hand and squeezing it, reminding himself of old memories when Peter would help him through every day. He tries not to show Peter he’s struggling, but the kid just knows him- even if he can’t remember anything. Just as Peter’s about to ask if he’s okay- Tony knows because he always has the same face- he stops him. “You haven’t been cursed, trust me. But- have you ever heard of Stephen Strange?”

“No,” he says. But then- he furrows his eyebrows- and it looks as if he’s trying to pluck something out of his head that’s a bit too far out of grasp. “…Maybe? I might know, but I-I’m confused. Is he- I think I might have heard the name on the news once..?”

Peter looks panicked, and that’s not what Tony ever wanted. “Look, I- I don’t want to put you in any stress, kid,” he says, “I can just move on from today and leave you here- never see you again, because I never ever want to upset you. I just- God, I miss you and I bet I sound completely ridiculous. I never thought I’d even talk to you about this-“

“What? No? Mr Stark, please, if you’re looking at me like that- then we obviously knew each other quite well. I can feel these things and if I don’t get these memories back then I’m afraid that I’ll go crazy. I want to know everything. I need to,” Peter says.

There’s that determination Tony adored in Peter. He always knew what he wanted, and he’d never stop fighting unless that decision could in any way hurt another person. He has a heart of gold, and the fact that he wants to know Tony even if he’s not sure about what’s going on makes his heart stammer with pride.

For a moment, Tony thinks he must be in a dream. Peter has just accepted that they knew each other, even bringing it up himself. How is it that even after getting his memory wiped after saving their universe that Peter is still able to surprise him? There must be some good explanation to how he knew so easily- to how Peter accepted that they had a past. Tony’s keen to find out- as well as get those memories back.

“You’re a good kid,” Tony whispers, “you know that, right?”

“The best,” Peter says, grinning. “I’m joking. I could be better- you know- there’s always room for-“

“Nope. I don’t think so,” Tony shakes his head. “I mean it, kid. You’re the best damn person I’ve ever met.”

“…God, we must have been besties or something,” Peter says. He smiles nervously, “thank you. I mean- you’re awesome too. I have a poster of you on my wall.” He freezes, obviously not meaning to say what he just did. He looks at Tony and rolls his eyes as he fails to keep in his laughter. “Right. Okay. So, that was embarrassing. But we can move on now. Please.”

“It’s okay,” Tony laughs. “What can I say? I’m an icon for kids your age.”

“…You make me sound like a toddler.”

“You are a toddler to me, kid. Little baby. Still shocks me how resilient you are.”

“Mr Stark?” Peter says. There’s a faint blush on his cheeks from the compliment. Tony’s not surprised that he moves the conversation on.

“Yeah?”

“…How many memories am I missing here?”

“…We- well it was a long time, Pete. I’d say just over a year I knew you.”

“What happened?”

Tony sighs. That’s a long story to tell. “We’d need a lot more time than we have now for that, kid. So, uh, I’ll just-,” he grabs Peter’s pen and paper and scribbles his phone number on the top of it, “there. Now you’re one of about twelve people in the world that has my personal number. Text me when you’re home and- I’ll have my chief of security pick you up. We can go through everything then and- then I’ll contact Strange.”

Peter takes the piece of paper back. He quickly takes his phone out of his pocket, and immediately saves Tony’s number. Tony laughs when he sees his name is saved as Tony Stark- followed by a lot of exclamation marks. A lot meaning it goes on for at least two lines.

Only then does Tony realise Peter still needs to interview him for his school paper. Tony was going to make sure this was the best interview in history. Because Peter deserves to be honoured, for people to realise how brilliant he is. If they can’t know he saved the universe, the least he can give the kid is a good story. So, he slips in some facts that no-one has ever heard before, telling Steve to do the same with Ned. By the time he’s finished, he’s sure this is going to make Peter a hot commodity in the halls of Midtown Tech. Not that he couldn’t do that on the own- but Pete’s always been humble so sometimes he needs a little push.

By the time Tony and Steve get back to the tower, after they finish the talk and meet more kids that are nice (but not as nice as Peter, which he’s not biased about at all), Tony seems over the moon. He hasn’t been happy in over two weeks, well- in their timeline. Tony was in fact incredibly sad in his own, even when the kid was there, for much longer. Peter would help make the pain smaller, but it would never quite go away. But this time- his family are back in one room, and he might be getting Peter back, so how can he not feel all fuzzy? It’s like all roads have led to this one moment and soon all the suffering will make sense.

It has to. If it doesn’t, then he’s not sure what it was all for.

Anyway, when Tony walks in with this beaming smile the rest of the team seem quite intimidated- not knowing if this is fake or if he really is happy. They all watch in shock as Tony slowly walks over to the liquor cabinet. They think he’s easily slipped back into his addiction, shamed that he has- but he’s fallen, nonetheless. But he hasn’t. He grabs every bottle that’s there and puts them in a carrier bag. Asking Friday to make sure these awfully expensive bottles go to a food bank or somewhere that makes sure someone gets them- someone who is not experiencing their own battle but just wants to entertain for the night- he sends them downstairs and doesn’t second guess his decision in the slightest.

Steve looks at him as if he just stopped world hunger, so filled with pride that Tony almost goes red in the face. He shrugs, “what can I say? I’m a changed man,” he says, a short, almost proud, smile on his face.

“Well done, man,” Clint says, putting a hand on his shoulder, “just know if you’re ever struggling then-,”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll come to you,” Tony says.

Clint smiles. “I’m glad to hear that.”

Tony smiles down at his feet. People are proud of him, and he’s doing the right thing for his own recovery. He never knew how good that would make him feel. He pours himself a glass of water and sips through it periodically as he spends time with the team. It’s domestic stuff- simple things such as cooking and then eating dinner- but that’s just what he craved for so long. Normalcy. With them- and with Peter. The thought of the kid sitting on that empty space along the table- as if it has been reserved for him all this time- makes him so happy he could float.

He can say that after all this time, life seems so much easier without a storm cloud of grief hanging over his head.

Tony’s sat watching a film, one that Steve chose so he’s choosing not to pay much attention, when it phones makes a noise. He picks it up, expecting it to be a message from Pepper as he finally contacted her for the first time since he got back the other day, but it’s actually from Peter.

Pete [5:53PM]: Hey, Mr Stark! It’s me! Peter. I imagine you probably did save my name, but just in case- you know, you can never assume something. When you assume you make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u and me’, haha- get it? Because- well, I’m sure you did. I don’t need to explain it.

Pete [5:54PM]: Sorry. I double text. Well, more like quadruple text. But I’ll try and keep this short… uh, you said to text you when I get back from school or whatever I was doing. I’m back now, so ready whenever! I’m so excited I can barely breathe.

Pete [5:56PM]: I am breathing though. Just in case you were worried.

Pete [5:58PM]: Let me know when you’re ready!

Tony rolls his eyes at the kid’s messages. He should’ve known this is how Peter would text. It’s almost as if Tony can see his personality seeping through the display. He smiles fondly, texting Happy first to tell him where the kid lived- getting the address from Friday.

After he’s made sure Happy’s all set off, he messages back.

Tony [6:02PM]: Happy is on his way, kid. See you soon (glad you’re still breathing).

Pete [6:02PM]: :D

Pete [6:03PM]: See you soon, Mr Stark!