Remember Me

Weeks drag on in a numb haze, and I move from task to task without truly feeling sadness or anything else. Natasha convinces me to train with her daily, and I find myself looking forward to each session in the gym.

Today, I’m against Nat in the boxing ring, punching the pads on her hands again and again as she critiques my form. Sweat drips down my forehead as I bounce back and forth on the balls of my feet, striking the pads again before ducking and pulling my gloves back towards my body.

“Let’s break.” Nat says, dropping her hands. I nod, unstrapping my gloves as we walk over to our water bottles.
“You’re getting good.” Natasha says as she swallows. “You might even be able to come on the next mission with us, if you want.”

I raise my eyebrows as I look back at her, putting the lid back on my own water.
“Do you think Tony would let me?” I ask, feeling a nervous excitement bubble up in my chest at the idea of working with the Avengers.

She laughs, adjusting her ponytail.
“Tony isn’t in charge of us.” She says with a sly grin. “I’ll get you on the next one.”

I grin back, nodding as I pull my headband back onto the top of my head.
“Alright.” Nat says, clapping her hands together. “Time for cardio.”

I laugh, following her as we climb out of the boxing ring and get onto the treadmills near the windows. We start our routine of running together in silence, and I smile to myself as I find how easy it has become to keep up with Nat’s speed and incline.

My eyes wander to the window as a figure passes by. I freeze for a moment, my legs staggering on the treadmill as I see Bucky walking through the grass outside with Steve beside him. I almost trip, my hands grabbing onto the sides of the treadmill as I step onto the sides, breathing heavily as I stare out of the window.

“Hey, are you okay?” Nat asks, looking at me before following my gaze out of the window. “Oh.”

I step off of the treadmill as Bucky and Steve step out of view of the window. The pain I worked so hard to hide threatens to resurface, but I shove it back down, sealing it away.

“I’m sure he just needed some air.” Nat says quietly, resting her hand on my shoulder. “He’s not necessarily a prisoner.”

I nod, knowing it’s his choice to stay locked in his cell in the basement, and it would be his choice to leave it as well. I take a deep breath, reaching for my water bottle.
“We should go.” I say quietly, and Nat nods, following me out of the training center. She follows me all the way to my room, coming inside with me.

“You don’t have to stay here.” I tell her, sitting on the edge of the bed.

She rolls her eyes, sitting next to me.
“Well we’re friends, so you’re sort of stuck with me.” She says with a smile. “Wanna get out of here?”

I narrow my eyes at her, questioning what she means.
“Where would we go?” I ask.

She stands up, walking to the door.
“Hit the shower and meet me at the elevator in 30.” She says with a wink.

I laugh as I stand up, walking to the bathroom and stripping from my workout clothes. I take a quick shower before getting out and throwing my hair into a quick bun and putting on basic makeup. I dress in leggings and a basic t-shirt, stepping into my sneakers before grabbing the small backpack Nat gave me weeks ago and going to meet her by the elevator.

She meets me there, and we get into the elevator and take it down to the garage. Nat leads us to a bright red sports car, unlocking it as we get close.
“Don’t tell Tony.” She says with a wink as we get into the car. “I just like his cars better.”

I laugh, fastening the seatbelt as Nat peels out of the garage. She drives out of the compound, merging onto the highway and driving towards the city. I don’t ask where we’re going, knowing she probably wouldn’t tell me anyway.

We pull into a parking garage, and Nat locks the car doors as we get out. I follow her through the garage until we step into a small shopping center, full of people milling about.
“We’re shopping?” I ask, looking at her with raised eyebrows.

She shrugs, walking towards a store to her left.
“What, do you have a better idea?” She asks, a lazy smile falling across her lips.

I smile back, shaking my head as we walk into one of the stores. We shop for hours, laughing and talking as we look through various aisles of clothing and other merchandise. Eventually we head back to the car, getting in and throwing the small bags of our purchases into the back seat.

Natasha’s phone rings as we pull back onto the highway, and she answers it, listening to the person on the other line and adding an occasional word of acknowledgement. She hangs up after a moment, looking over at me.

“Well that was quick.” She says with a sly smirk. “Wanna join us on a little mission tomorrow?”

I grin back at her, nodding as I do.
“What’re we doing?” I ask.

She sets her phone in the cupholder as we turn towards the compound.
“Trying to dismantle what might be a Hydra base in Virginia.” She says plainly, eyeing me out of the corner of her eyes, trying to see if I’ll squirm.

“What might be?” I ask, keeping my tone as even as hers.

She shrugs, shaking her hair out with one of her hands.
“We suspect it is, if it isn’t in this location then we just have to keep looking.” She replies.

I nod, leaning back against the seat.
“Perfect.” I answer with an easy smile. “I’m in.”

We pull into the garage, getting out and making our way up to our rooms. Nat stops outside of my room as I open the door, leaning against the frame.
“We’ll leave around 5am.” She says, checking her watch. “See you then.”

I nod, going into my room and locking the door behind me. I lay in the bed, staring up at the ceiling for hours, tossing and turning as I try to sleep, but finding myself too keyed up about the impending mission to actually sleep.

I must have dozed off at some point, because I wake to the sound of my alarm beeping on the side table near my bed. I roll over, clicking it off as I get up quickly, dressing in my tighter, protective clothing before braiding my hair and pinning it against my head.

I fasten the watch Tony gave me to my wrist, 4:55am. I leave the room, heading for the conference room at the end of the hall.

Tony and Natasha turn to look at me as I step into the room, looking up from a screen. I wave at them as I walk over, looking at the screen as Tony continues talking.
“So half of us will enter through here,” He says gesturing to one door of a building, “and the other half will enter here.”

He gestures to another door, opposite the first. Nat and I both nod as Sam walks into the room as well.
“Who all is coming?” I ask, looking over at Natasha and Tony.

Nat shifts uncomfortably, looking between me and Tony once.
“It’s you, Nat, and me on team A.” Tony says, looking at me and running his hand through his hair. “And Sam, Steve, and—”

The door opens again, and my heart stutters against my ribs as Steve and Bucky walk into the room. Bucky’s eyes widen as they lock onto mine, and he stops in his tracks, staring at me for a moment before breaking his gaze and looking down at the floor.

“—Bucky,” Tony continues, clearing his throat awkwardly, “make up team B.”

I look at Nat with wide eyes, and she sets her hand on my shoulder, pulling me to the back of the room.
“The only person in this room who knows more about Hydra than you is him.” Natasha whispers, her eyes scanning mine. “You’ll be with me and Tony, it’ll be okay.”

I nod, my breathing coming in shaky bursts.
“Or you can stay and I can go get—”

“No.” I say, interrupting her, shaking my head. “I want to go.”

My eyes shift to Steve and Bucky, luckily Sam stands between us, blocking my view. Nat nods as I look back at her, and we walk back over to Tony.
“Alright, your mission has been sent to your devices.” Tony says, tapping the screen. “Jets are on the roof, keep in touch, stay vigilant.”

Everyone nods, and the B team leaves the room first.
“Ready?” Tony asks me, winking.

I smile back at him tightly as I nod, following him out of the room.