Robin's Rule
Natasha watches from the top of the stairs as Melina and Robin get ready to leave for the night.
The babysitter is a teenager just on the cusp of adulthood. She’s exuberant and outgoing and talks to Natasha like a toddler.
As far as the babysitter is aware, Natasha and Yelena were already in bed. All the babysitter had to do was make sure that nobody dies.
Melina and Robin leave and Natasha listens at the television turns on downstairs before she moves toward Yelena’s room.
Yelena is sleepy but not quite asleep yet when Natasha slips into the nursery. “Nattie?” She questioned, sitting up.
“Shh,” Natasha approached the crib, wincing when she lifts her leg to hoist herself up and over the bars of the crib. “Quiet like a mouse, Lee-lee.”
Yelena pressed a finger to her lips, nodding her head.
Natasha settles down in the crib and Yelena crawls over to her.
“You sleepy?” Yelena asked, flopping onto Natasha’s lap. Natasha winces, squirming to get comfy under Yelena’s weight.
“No,” Natasha said. “You’re heavy.”
“Am not!” Yelena protests and Natasha shushes her again. “Why do I gotta be quiet?”
“Because we don’t want the babysitter to come up here and make me go back to my room, do we?” Natasha asked quietly and Yelena solemnly shook her head. “Then we gotta be quiet.”
Yelena rests her head against Natasha’s shoulder. “I’m sleepy.” She declares, wiggling to get comfortable on Natasha’s lap. “Go night-night?”
“Yeah, you can go night-night,” Natasha said quietly, watching Yelena plant her thumb between her lips. She always felt a brief flicker of fear whenever she saw Yelena do it, even though she knew Robin and Melina would never punish Yelena for it.
With Yelena close, Natasha takes a few moments to think over the past day.
She had thought long and hard about going to Robin about the soldier.
She didn’t say anything at first because it didn’t hurt. All Widows were used to it and it wasn’t the first time Natasha had been touched like that.
“It’s all Widows are good for,” The soldier told her, his arm wound tightly against Natasha’s stomach as he holds her in place on his lap while the other kids were out at recess. “Your whore mommy does this too and if you complain to your doctor then she’ll punish you for snitching.”
So Natasha kept quiet. She kept quiet until it started to hurt.
Robin had a big rule about coming to her when you were hurt. She had done things from patched up Natasha’s scraped knees to pulling a splinter from Yelena’s finger. She even iced a bump on Melina’s head when she hit it on the roof of the car.
Natasha kept silent because she didn’t know whether Robin would punish her like the soldier said.
The soldier scared Natasha. She didn’t want to be alone with him. Elliot kept asking why she was getting lunch detention for her homework. Natasha can’t tell him that it’s just an excuse. She doesn’t want Elliot to get in trouble.
When Natasha spots the soldier at Wal-Mart when she was with Robin, Natasha finally verbally asked for Robin to carry her. Robin’s arms were safe.
Natasha feels safe when Robin carries her. Robin wouldn’t let anything happen to Natasha.
That was why Natasha ultimately went to Robin when the soldier went too far and Natasha ached with every step.
There was a lingering fear that Robin would be upset with her. That she’d say nothing was wrong or that Natasha earned swats for snitching on something that turns out was normal.
It takes Robin a few tries before Natasha finally manages to get the truth out.
Robin believes her. Robin is angry but not at her. Robin says that she did the right thing.
Natasha has to take her bottoms off and she feels shameful. She feels ugly and dirty and upset. She feels like she did something wrong.
Robin wraps her up in a blanket when she finishes and holds her close and for the first time in a while, Natasha feels like she can finally relax.
Robin promised that the soldier would never touch her again and Robin doesn’t make promises she can’t keep.
Robin says they have to tell Melina.
Natasha does not want that. Melina was a Widow who probably went through the exact same things that Natasha went through but without her own Robin to protect her.
Melina made it just fine. Natasha doesn’t want to worry anybody else about it. She had told one person and one person was already one too many.
Natasha’s drawn out of her thoughts by Yelena stirring in her sleep before her face screws up the way it does before she cries.
“Shh,” Natasha moves to try and comfort her before she starts to cry and the babysitter finds her in the crib with Yelena. “Lee-lee, look at me. It’s your big sister.”
Yelena squirms and her eyes pop open before her lower lip quivers. “The bad man is here.” Tears roll down her cheeks.
“There’s not a bad man here,” Natasha reassures Yelena. The toddler shakes her head.
“Uh-huh. He’s over there,” Yelena points at the closet. “He’s hiding. He’s gonna get me.”
Natasha looks over at the closet before shuffling to push Yelena off of her and climbing out of the crib.
“No!” Yelena’s tiny fingers grip onto the sleeves of Natasha’s pajamas. “He’ll get you!”
“There’s nothing there.” Natasha said, landing on her feet as she squirms out of Yelena’s grip. She approached the closet, throwing the doors open to reveal the clothes hanging neatly. She turns to look at Yelena to see that her sister had slapped her hands over her eyes. “Look, Lee-lee. No man.”
Yelena peers through her fingers, visibly relaxing when there’s no scary man popping out of the closet. Natasha closed the closet doors and moves back toward Yelena, letting out a small cry of pain when she briefly straddled the bars of the crib.
“Nattie hurt?” Yelena questioned, concern on her face.
“No,” Natasha lies, shaking her head. “I’m okay. There’s no scary man. I’m here to protect you. Come on, lay back down.”
Yelena lays back on her mattress and Natasha shuffles to lay next to her on her side. Yelena rolls onto her side to peer up at Natasha’s face.
Natasha reaches out to wipe away Yelena’s tears like Robin did when she cried. “See? You’re safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Yelena sniffles, reaching up to push her thumb back into her mouth. “Want mama.” She mumbles around her thumb.
“Mama’s not here right now,” Natasha replies softly.
“Mommy?” Yelena asked, her face scrunching up as she prepares to start crying again.
“Mommy’s with mama,” Natasha said quietly.
“Want mama’s song…” Yelena sniffles and Natasha panics because she doesn’t want the babysitter to come upstairs when Yelena starts crying.
“Shh, okay. I can sing mama’s song,” Natasha said and Yelena quiets down, peering up at Natasha with watery eyes.
“Sing mama’s song?” Yelena echoes.
Natasha nods her head despite the fact she’s never sung for anybody before.
Yelena settles down when Natasha softly sings to her. Natasha sings the song three times before Yelena is sleeping quietly.
Natasha pulls the blanket up over the both of them, settling down and watches Yelena’s sleeping face.
She dozes until the door to the bedroom opens and Natasha jerks up, ready to protect Yelena. It’s only Melina and she looks tired.
“Hi, big girl,” Melina doesn’t even scold Natasha for being in the crib, approaching and reaching out to lift Natasha out. To Natasha’s surprise, instead of setting her down, Melina pulls Natasha close. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” Natasha repeats in confusion, winding her arms around Melina’s neck.
“I’m so sorry that that filth dared to touch you like that,” Melina said quietly, clutching Natasha protectively. “You can always come to me about things like that.”
“I’m not a snitch,” Natasha murmurs, face burning with shame as she tucks her head against Melina’s shoulder. “I’m a Widow. I’m made of marble.”
“You’re a little girl who shouldn’t have had to do that. I’m sorry,” Melina sways slightly and Natasha feels her gently press a kiss to the side of her head.
“But you’re a Widow. The soldier said that you were a whore and that you did all those things,” Natasha immediately feels guilty when Melina lets out a small flinch at the name. “You did those things and you’re my mommy. It shouldn’t have made me feel bad.”
Melina was quiet for a few moments before she carries Natasha out of the bedroom, Yelena still blissfully asleep. Natasha doesn’t expect Melina to carry her into the master bedroom. Melina takes a seat on the bed, gently setting Natasha down into her lap.
“Look at me, big girl,” Melina said, her voice serious. Natasha pulls away slightly to peer up at Melina. “He was right. People have touched me the way that your teacher did to you. They’ve done more. Still, what happened was unacceptable. You did nothing wrong and you should not have had to do those things.”
“But you did it. He said you did,” Natasha insists. Melina cups Natasha’s face, tilting her head up to look at her face.
“I did not get a choice when they did it to me. I did it to keep myself safe. I didn’t have my own Robin to protect me. I hated it. They hurt me and I felt dirty and disgusted and ashamed of myself,” Melina’s voice shakes for a moment before she paused and swallows hard. “Robin and I will keep you safe but I need you to trust us to come when you need us.”
“I was scared Robin was gonna punish me…” Natasha admits quietly.
“You didn’t break any rules,” Melina tells her.
“Yes, I did. I broke the rule about coming to her when I was hurt,” Natasha protests.
“But you came to her and I’m so incredibly proud of you for doing that, big girl,” Melina leans her head down to press their foreheads together. “Robin and I will protect you for as long as we can.”
“What about when you can’t anymore?” Natasha asked quietly. They were going back to the Red Room one day. While Natasha knew it was all just pretend, she didn’t want it to be.
Melina doesn’t reply, her thumbs gently stroking Natasha’s cheeks to the girl reluctantly drops the subject.
“Where’s Robin?” Natasha asked.
“She’s in the shower. She got dirty while we were out,” Melina replies, pulling away to adjust Natasha on her lap. “It’s way past your bedtime.”
Natasha rests her head against Melina’s shoulder. “Did you hurt him?”
She was naive enough to not know where Robin and Melina had gone in such a hurry.
“He’s never going to be able to touch you again,” Melina promised firmly.
“Did you-- did you kill him?” Natasha whispered. Nobody had killed for her before. It was every man for themselves.
“Yes.” Robin spoke up from the doorway to the bathroom, her short hair wet and slicked back from the recent shower. “I made sure that he would never lay another hand on you.”
Natasha reached her arms up and Robin scoops her up off of Melina’s lap carefully. Robin was nice and warm from her recent shower and it made Natasha curl up against her sleepily.
“I will keep you safe as long as you let me, little one,” Robin promised, pressing her lips to Natasha’s forehead. “Do you want me to walk and sway or do you want to lay down?”
“Carry me,” Natasha tucks her head against the crook of Robin’s neck.
Robin’s arms are safe.
For the first time in a while, Natasha rests easy.