We can make it up for this stolen childhood
Nothing significant happened the day that Natasha had a nightmare that caused her to scream.
Robin jerks awake in the middle of the night to Natasha screaming in fear. She is out of bed and lunging toward the door within moments, Melina right on her heels with a knife.
The room is empty other than Natasha, the girl curled up in her bed and pulling at her hair.
Robin relaxes slightly when she doesn’t see any intruders. She had feared for a moment that the General had sent someone or that Belka had come back for Yelena.
“Natasha,” Robin said loudly and the girl’s head jerks to look at her, her wide eyes looking right through Robin. “Sweetheart, it’s me. It’s Robin. Melina is here.”
Robin slowly approached her. Natasha hadn’t even realized she had wet the bed, her fingers curled into her sheets as she stares at something only she can see.
“Natasha,” Robin repeats her name as she slowly moves to crouch in front of the bed where Natasha could see her. “It’s alright. You’re safe.”
Natasha shakes her head. “Not safe!” She chokes out, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Robin inches forward until she can touch the bed. “You’re safe with me. I won’t let anything happen to you if I can help it,” Robin reaches out toward her slowly. “Look at me, sweetheart. It’s just you, me, and Melina.”
Natasha blinks a few times, her eyes flickering around the room as she lets out a shuddering breath.
“Do you want a hug, my little cuddle bug?” Robin rests her hand onto Natasha’s. Natasha flinches away from the touch.
Natasha glances at Robin, her breath hitching before she nods.
“I’m right here. Come here,” Robin waits for Natasha to initiate the contact, opening her arms. Natasha slowly pushed the sheets away, uncurling her fingers from the blanket as she slowly shuffles toward Robin and falls the last few inches right into Robin’s arms.
Robin pulls her close, kissing the top of her head. “It’s alright, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”
Natasha buries her face into Robin’s shoulder. “Don’t let them take me.”
Robin scoops Natasha up and stands so that Melina can strip the bed. “I will hold you close for as long as I can.”
A small whine escapes Natasha’s mouth and she moves to yank on her hair in distress again.
“No, no,” Robin chides softly, gripping Natasha’s wrists. “Let your hair go, you’re hurting yourself.”
Robin pries the small fingers from her red hair and brings them up to her lips to press a soft kiss to them. “It’s okay. Tell me what you need.”
“I dunno--” Natasha sniffles. “My brain won’t be quiet.”
Robin nods her head, swaying them in place as Melina pulls new sheets onto the bed. Robin sings softly to Natasha, stroking her hair as she sways.
Melina then grabs a fresh pair of pajamas and Robin moves to pass Natasha to Melina. “Melina is gonna help you clean up.”
Natasha tightened the grip around her. “Where are you going?” She demanded, fear in her voice.
“I need to clean up too,” Robin said and Natasha looks down at Robin before her face turns bright red in shame as understanding dawns on her.
“I’m sorry!” She squeaks, her voice cracking. “I didn’t mean to--”
“Natasha, look at me,” Robin grips the girl’s chin until green eyes flickered up to look at her face. “I could honestly care less whatever mess you get on me. You needed me so I am here.”
Natasha unhooks her fingers from Robin’s shirt and lets Robin set her down into Melina’s hold.
Robin leaves as Melina carries Natasha into the bathroom. Robin changes her pajamas and cleans up before checking in on Yelena.
Yelena hadn’t been woken up by the screams, still blissfully asleep. Robin stands over her crib for a few moments before reaching down to brush a strand of hair out of her face and straightening.
Natasha and Melina were back in Natasha’s bed by the time Robin returns. Natasha is curled up into a tiny ball, leaning against Melina.
“All nice and clean?” Robin takes a seat on the other side of Natasha. Natasha nods her head gently, reaching out to curl her fingers into Robin’s new pajama top as if she was afraid of her leaving.
“I’m right here, sweetheart,” Robin runs her fingers through Natasha’s hair.
Natasha, still unsettled, leans against Melina as she closed her eyes to focus on Robin’s fingers combing through her hair.
Natasha curls up into a ball and Robin watches as her fingers brush against her lips multiple times before she bites the tip of her thumb.
“Robin?” Natasha jerks her thumb away as if realizing what she was doing.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Robin looks down at her.
“Will you… will you sing more?” Natasha shyly questioned, refusing to meet Robin’s gaze.
Robin had never sung in front of Melina. Undoubtedly, the woman had heard her at one point but Robin had never done it in front of her.
Natasha takes her hesitation as a rejection. “Never mind, that was stupid--”
“Of course I will,” Robin shifts to lift Natasha up into her lap and cuddled her against her chest, Melina scooting over to fill the gap. Natasha was stiff at the sudden movement but quickly relaxes against Robin.
“I hope that you like it in my little motel,” Robin starts to sing, her fingers brushing Natasha’s hair out of her face.
Melina reaches out to rub Natasha’s back and the child quickly melts against them.
Robin isn’t that surprised when Natasha’s thumb finds its way back to her mouth again. Instead of biting it this time, Natasha rests the tip between her lips. Robin doesn’t make a big deal out of it, even when she sees Melina’s eyes narrow in on the action.
Robin finishes the song and Natasha moves to speak before realizing where her thumb is and jerks away from Robin, nearly tumbling off of the edge of the bed if it wasn’t for Melina’s quick reflexes as she catches her.
“Sorry!” Natasha yelps out, wiggling in Melina’s hold. “I won’t do it again! I’m sorry!”
“Natasha--” Robin tries to speak but Natasha squirms in Melina’s hold.
“Calm down, big girl,” Melina tells her firmly although she kept her voice soft. “Look at me. I’m not upset. Robin isn’t upset. We’re not going to hurt you.”
“Don’t break my thumbs…” Natasha pleads quietly. “I won’t do it again.”
Robin blinks in surprise at the plea before shaking her head and adjusting so that Natasha could comfortably sit in Melina’s lap. “Sweetheart, I’m not going to break your thumbs for sucking on it.”
Natasha looks up at her with watery eyes, confusion on her face.
“Yelena sucks her thumb all the time. You’ve seen her,” Robin reminds Natasha. “I don’t punish her for doing it.”
“But I’m not-- I’m not a baby,” Natasha quickly shakes her head. “I’m sorry for making a mess in the bed and sucking my thumb--”
“Shh, look at me and listen to me,” Robin said and Natasha’s mouth snapped shut. “Do you remember what I told you about bed-wetting? It happens. Doing it doesn’t make you a baby.”
Melina settles Natasha against her so that Natasha can look at Robin.
“And if you want to suck your thumb, just this once because it makes you feel better, then I’m not going to get upset,” Robin tells Natasha. “You can be little. Just like the night you asked me if you could be mine.”
Natasha stares up at Robin, disbelief on her face. She obviously doesn’t believe Robin but Robin doesn’t fault her for that.
Natasha settles back down in Melina’s hold and Robin wrapped an arm around Melina.
It takes twenty minutes before Robin watches Natasha’s thumb move toward her lips again. Robin doesn’t make a big deal of when Natasha finally relaxes when her thumb is planted between her lips.
Natasha falls asleep not too much longer afterward.
“Do you really not mind?” Melina questioned, her fingers idly brushing a strand of red hair out of the child’s face.
“Her sucking her thumb?” Robin inquired and Melina nods her head. “As far as I know, she’s been in the Red Room since she was four or so. She didn’t get the chance to be little and never had the security or stability of a ‘normal’ family. Do you know what causes bed-wetting?”
Melina shakes her head.
“It can be caused by anxiety and stress sometimes. But in Natasha’s case, it’s brought on by emotional and physical trauma. Sexual abuse,” Robin replies quietly, feeling Melina stiffen slightly under her hold. “But it’s occurring less and less as time goes on. It’s safe here. She finds it safe here whether she realizes it or not.”
Melina nods slowly. “It is safe here. You make it safe here.” Melina said, resting her head against Robin’s shoulder.
“When she feels safe, she’s gonna act younger than she is. Before us, when do you think the last time someone held her was? I’m not upset with this. It’s expected,” Robin kissed the top of Melina’s head. “Her lashing out at me? When she tests the boundaries and rules I set up? She feels safe enough to do that. Do you think she’d do that in the Red Room?”
“Of course not… she’d be beaten for it,” Melina replies quietly.
“Yelena does it too. She wants to be held and fed and looked after like she’s a baby,” Robin comments, reaching out to rub Natasha’s back when the child stirs slightly. “And I’m not going to deny them because it makes them feel safe. If Natasha wants to be held and suck her thumb because it makes her feel safe then I’m not going to deny her that. If Yelena wants skin-to-skin contact then I’ll do it.”
Melina lifts her head up from Robin’s shoulder so that she can look up at her. “You’re a really great mom.” She said gently. “But we go back in less than a year.”
“The mission was expected to take at least a year. That means maybe longer. And I know that we have to go back eventually but until then I’m willing to give my girls what they need.” Robin said, swallowing hard as she looks down at the sight of Melina holding Natasha.
“You’re a good person, Robin,” Melina tells, her voice soft. “I’m lucky to have you as my handler and even luckier to have you as my wife.”
“I love you, sweet girl,” Robin shifts her hand to cup Melina’s cheek before pulling her into a kiss.