The road back to secret happiness
Robin’s little family sleeps in the same big bed that night.
Yelena sleeps curled up against Robin’s chest. Natasha was safely tucked between Robin and Melina, pressed up against Robin’s side. Melina lay with her front pressing against Natasha’s back, an arm draped over the three of them.
Robin stays awake to watch over all of them. Natasha has a nightmare and jerks awake, confusion and panic wound in her body until she sees Robin’s face and glances around the room, sagging in relief and snuggling closer to Robin.
Robin regrets needing to get up to go to the bathroom. She shifts and Melina glances over at her sleepily. Robin gestures toward the bathroom and Melina shifts so she can take the sleeping toddler from Robin.
Robin has to pry little fingers from her shirt and a grumpy toddler is peeled from her and passed to Melina.
Robin quietly shuffles into the bathroom and does her business, pausing to squint in the mirror as she washes her hands.
Robin sometimes ponders on if she’s the best person for the job. She’s clearly already crossed too many lines and boundaries yet she doesn’t regret a thing.
Robin would do anything for this little family and that fact alone scares her. It means that she has things to lose.
Back when she was just a doctor, she didn’t have any reason to fight back. She kept her head down, did as she was told, and was allowed to live.
It’s only been three months but so much had changed. Robin feels like a stranger in her body. If she met herself three months ago then she’d be fascinated with just how far she’d come.
“Robin?”
Robin realizes that she’d been standing in front of the mirror for far too long and turns to look at the sleepy child standing in the doorway. Natasha was squinting at the harsh fluorescent lights in the bathroom.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Robin turns the tap off and dries her hands.
“You’re taking too long,” Natasha’s bare feet pad into the bathroom as she approached Robin. “The bed’s getting cold.”
Robin scoops Natasha up. “We don’t want that happening, do we?”
Natasha shakes her head, wrapping her arms around Robin’s neck. “Is Madam gonna come back?”
“No,” Robin pressed a kiss to Natasha’s temple. “I don’t really remember but Melina said that you and Yelena found me in the bathroom yesterday.”
Natasha shrugs, curling her fingers into Robin’s shirt.
“That must have been frightening to see,” Robin rubs Natasha’s back.
“I covered Yelena’s eyes,” Natasha whispers. “She’s too little.”
“I appreciate that. You’re such a good big sister to her,” Robin sways them in place. “I’m sorry that I scared you.”
Natasha shrugs again. “Everybody can be scary sometimes… but I wasn’t scared. Widows don’t get scared.”
“I would have been scared,” Robin tells her. “Admitting fear isn’t a weakness and it isn’t shameful. Fear is essential. It helps warn us about danger.”
Natasha lets out a yawn, resting her head against Robin’s shoulder. “Maybe… maybe I was just a little scared.” She whispers.
Robin snuggles her close. “I love you, my little one.”
“I’m not so little. Yelena’s little,” Natasha protests but curls up in the cuddle.
“You’ll always be my little one,” Robin said.
“Even after we go back?” Natasha asked quietly.
Robin nods her head. “Even after we go back…” She said just as quietly. “Melina’s probably wondering if we flushed ourselves down the toilet.”
Natasha lets out a sleepy laugh. “That’s not possible.”
Robin grins and nuzzled her nose against Natasha’s. “Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure, mama,” Natasha tells her as Robin flicks the lights in the bathroom off and walks back out to the bed.
Melina and Yelena were fast asleep on the bed. Robin sets Natasha down next to Yelena and pulls the covers up over everybody before climbing back into bed herself.
Robin eventually falls asleep in the early hours of the morning after her mind is reassured that everybody is safe and unharmed.
She wakes up to tiny fingers playing with her hair.
Yelena is kneeled next to her, dressed for the day and combing her fingers through Robin’s hair. She grins when she sees Robin’s eyes open. “Morning, mama.”
Robin sits up slightly. The bed is empty other than her and Yelena. “Good morning, little one. Where’s mommy?”
“Making bre’kfas’,” Yelena hums, curling her fingers into fists and giving Robin’s hair a small tug.
Robin glanced at the clock and she sits up abruptly at the time. For a moment she thought that Natasha needed to get to school and Yelena needed to be at daycare and they were so late. Then she remembers it’s Saturday and glances down at Yelena. “Mama’s probably going to need a nap today.”
Yelena wrinkles her nose. “Mama can’t nap now. Mama just woke up.” She informs Robin matter-of-factly.
Robin chuckles. “Oh, my silly little goose,” She scoops Yelena up and peppers the toddler’s face in kisses. She loves the way that Yelena giggles and squeals in joy.
“Tickles, mama!” She shrieks, squirming in excitement.
Robin laughs, finally giving Yelena a break, and is rewarded with a wet kiss to the cheek in response.
“Either Yelena is in a happy mood or you’re awake,” Melina comments from the doorway. “I’ve brought breakfast.”
Robin sits up in confusion as Melina brings a plate of food to her. “Any particular occasion for this?” She wracks her head trying to think of anything special. She knew that Christmas was coming up but they still had another month before that.
Melina passes the plate to her and then kissed her forehead. “Just because.”
“Where’s Natasha?” Robin asked, accepting the plate and kissing Melina in return.
“Watching cartoons. Her friend told her about cartoons he watches in the morning so she’s watching them too,” Melina said, reaching to take Yelena before the toddler knocked the plate over.
Despite the whole situation the previous day, waking up to this seemed simple. Melina scoops Yelena up into her arms and Robin finally takes a bite of the eggs on her plate. “Thank you, sweet girl.”
“Let me go put Yelena downstairs, I’ll be right back,” Melina said and Robin nods her head.
She knew that there was a reason everything seemed so calm.
Melina returns a few minutes later. Robin had only taken a few bites from the plate before setting it aside.
“Come here,” Robin said when Melina hesitated. Melina approached her and Robin pulls her down into her lap. “I can tell that you have a lot on your mind that you want to talk about.”
Melina frowns slightly. “Can I be honest?”
Robin mimics her frown. “I would expect nothing less. What’s wrong?”
Melina’s quiet and Robin gives her time to collect her thoughts, rubbing small circles in Melina’s hips.
“I saw your office,” Melina finally said. “I saw the broken stick.”
Robin nods her head and Melina glances away. “Did you really break it?” She asked.
“I did,” Robin said quietly.
“I’m not…” Melina pauses, letting out a long sigh. “Do you need to use bamboo sticks when you punish Natasha?”
That wasn’t how Robin expected the conversation to do. “Why?”
Melina shifts her weight in Robin’s lap. “You want the truth?”
“Of course I do. You can tell me anything, sweet girl,” Robin said softly.
“I’m worried that one day you will go too far with Natasha and do the same,” Melina finally says.
Robin’s heart squeezed painfully in her chest at the admission. “I appreciate you telling me this.”
“I trust you. I love you, Robin. But I can’t--” Melina cuts herself off with a huff.
“I understand your fear,” Robin said, reaching a hand up to cup Melina’s face. “And I’m not upset.”
Melina leans into the touch. “I’m sorry.”
“What can I do instead of bamboo sticks?” Robin asked. “We’ll come up with ideas together.”
Melina nods her head. “I used my hand.”
“What? When?” Robin frowns, trying to think of when Melina would have had to punish Natasha. Melina usually waited until Robin could in the privacy of her office.
“Last night… she was looking through the files on the table,” Melina said quietly. “I saw the General’s signature on one of the papers…”
Robin cups the back of Melina’s head and pulled her forward to kiss her forehead.
Tension leaves Melina’s frame when Robin kissed her. “You’re not mad?”
“Of course not. I trust you and your judgment,” Robin reassures her, running her thumb along the nape of her neck. “I can use my hand if that will soothe your fears. But I will never, ever break a bamboo stick on Natasha’s skin.”
“It will…” Melina moves to rest her hands onto Robin’s shoulders. “Thank you for understanding and not getting upset.”
“I love you,” Robin tells her softly, leaning forward to gently kiss her. “And I will always listen to what you have to say.”
Melina slides her fingers into Robin’s hair and pulls her into a deep kiss. “I love you.”
Robin pressed her forehead against hers. “I love you.”
“I love you,” Melina echoes, pressing another kiss to her lips.
“I love you,” Robin repeats, pulling Melina closer.
Melina pulls Robin into another kiss to show just how much she loved her.