Is it really okay to cry?
Robin is finally able to select the perfect Widow out of the lineup to carry General Dreykov’s heir.
Perfect genes, great health, pretty.
Robin reports her findings to General Dreykov like the good little soldier she is. The Widow is pulled from training and Robin was to be the one to inform her.
The Widow moves quicker than Robin and pulls a knife from their uniform before slicing their neck open. Blood sprays and Robin flinches at the warmth splashing against her face and clothes. She quickly moves to try and control the bleeding but the damage is done.
The Widow is dead in a matter of moments. She knew exactly where to cut to die quickly. She wouldn't be the one to carry a child for the horrible man.
General Dreykov yells from his spot and grabs a fistful of Robin’s hair to wretch the woman to her feet, pain exploding as soldiers descend upon her.
Robin doesn’t remember what happened after that. She crawls out of the darkness of her mind when she’s dragged out of a car and up the steps to the house. She’s worried about prying eyes staring at the bloodied woman but the sky is dark and there is nobody out.
Robin was late. She was very, very late.
She’s practically held upright, her body protesting with each movement that she makes. The door swings open when the soldier knocks and Melina freezes when she sees Robin.
Robin wobbles on unsteady feet as the guards shove her forward into Melina’s grip.
Melina quickly closed the door and locked it. “What happened?” She demanded in a hiss, panic encroaching in her tone.
Robin’s dripping blood onto the carpet. She can’t tell if it’s her blood or the blood of the Widow that had killed herself that afternoon.
“The kids--” Robin manages to get out. She doesn’t want them to see her at the moment.
“Are in bed.” Melina interrupts, looking her over. “It’s almost midnight.”
Robin blinks slowly and frowns, feeling dried blood pulling at her skin as she moves her facial muscles. “Really?”
Concern flickers on Melina’s face. “Did you hit your head?”
Robin can’t remember. “I don’t know…” She croaks before finally looking down at herself. She’s coated in dried blood and she feels wet like she was dunked in water. She’s vaguely aware of her hair plastered to her face with either sweat, water, blood, or some mixture of the three. “Most of this isn’t mine?”
Melina looks her over before kneeling down in front of Robin to undo the laces on her boots. Robin steadies herself and lets Melina help her out of her shoes. The two women then slowly make their way up the stairs.
Robin wobbles on unsteady feet as her hands shake when she reaches for the doorknob. Melina does it for her and guides her into the bathroom.
Robin tries to unbutton her shirt but her fingers are shaking and keep slipping on the congealed blood on the buttons. She notices that her fingers are littered with small cuts that she can’t remember where they came from.
“Let me,” Melina said softly, reaching out to gently push Robin’s hands down and started to unbutton the shirt for her. The liquid makes her shirt stick like a second skin and it makes a squelching noise when it’s being peeled off.
Robin watches as Melina dumps the shirt into the empty laundry basket before reaching out to start undoing the button and zipper on Robin’s pants.
Robin swallows hard, tilting her head back and closing her eyes as Melina slowly tugs her pants down around her ankles.
“Can you get the rest?” Melina questioned, moving to the shower and twisting the handle to start the hot water.
Robin nods, unable to reply verbally but her shaking fingers can’t grasp the fabric to undo the clasp of her bra. Melina gently grips her shaking hands to stop her before taking over. Robin drops her arms and lets Melina undo the clasp for her.
Robin manages to get her underwear off on her own and steps into the shower. The water at her feet immediately turns deep red and the spray makes Robin become aware of injuries that she didn’t know she had. She can’t stifle the cry of pain, her muscles locking up in pain as the water beats down onto her adamaged back.
“Sorry-- I’m sorry--” Robin gasps out, tears welling up in her eyes at the excruciating pain. She can feel Melina’s concerned glance. “Fuck!”
Robin squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her jaw tightly to hold back cries of pain. She can’t even make herself move to wash the blood from her body, overwhelmed with the amount of pain and fear she feels taking her body hostage.
There’s a shuffling sound of Melina moving before two soft hands gently run along Robin’s shoulders. A body brushes against hers and she forces herself to peel her eyes open and peek at Melina who had stripped and stepped into the shower with her.
She wants to tell Melina that she didn’t have to do this. That she didn’t need this. She can do this on her own like she always did.
Her mouth can’t force the lie out and Robin pressed her forehead against the tile of the shower as Melina gently starts to help Robin wash the blood coating her away. Robin instead squeezed her eyes shut and pretends the tears rolling down her face is just water from the showerhead.
She royally fucked up. She made a mistake and it ended up with her getting punished. Her whole body aches and she can’t even remember what was done to her. She’s covered in the blood of a Widow that thought it was better to kill themselves than bear General Dreykov’s child.
When the water finally runs pink instead of red, Melina turns the spray from the shower to the tub and plugs the drain to run a bath. Robin slowly sinks down to curl up into a ball. She feels Melina move behind her to continue to clean her up.
Robin can’t manage to find the words that she needed to express just how thankful she was for Melina. How grateful she is for the soft and kind touch.
“You--” Melina finally breaks the long period of silence and Robin tilts her head to the side to indicate that she was listening. “You said that you-- that you loved me this morning…”
Robin lets out a slight noise of acknowledgment. “I did…” Robin doesn’t deny it, shivering slightly when Melina starts to shampoo her hair. She doesn’t know if it’s the fact Melina’s touch is gentle or that the suds in her hair are pink instead of foamy white, but she reaches up abruptly to clamp a hand over her mouth as a sob crawls out of her throat.
Tears spill over Robin’s clean face and she breaks when Melina presses a soft kiss to the nape of her neck.
“She killed herself--” Robin gasps out before sobbing. “She just slit her throat open in front of me!” She tries to drag air into her aching lungs.
“Shh, breathe my love,” Melina whispers softly, rinsing the suds from Robin’s hair. “You are safe here now with me.”
The words only make Robin sob harder and she feels Melina gently pull her back against her. She turns to press her face into Melina’s bare shoulder as she lets go of all the emotions she had kept under a tight lid for so long.
The water is cold by the time she’s reduced to a shivering pile of hiccuping whimpers. She finally manages to pull herself together and wipes her face. “I cried all over you.” She croaks out. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Melina said quietly, running her fingers through Robin’s hair. “You cried for quite a while.”
Robin’s face flushed with shame as she ducks her head.
“You keep telling Natasha that it’s okay to cry and that I can show my emotions. Why is it different for you?” Melina cups Robin’s face to pull her head up.
“I’m the handler. I’m in charge of you. I don’t care when you show emotions. The person in charge of me, my handler, does,” Robin replies quietly and Melina frowns but pulls the plug in the tub.
While drying off, Robin finally catches sight of herself in the bathroom mirror. She’s covered in marks and bruises from unidentifiable objects. Even her hands are damaged, something General Dreykov had been very firm on keeping away from when punishing her before.
Melina picks out a set of pajamas and helps Robin slip into the clean clothes. Robin is absolutely exhausted and wanted nothing more than to climb into her bed and sleep for a week but she needs to check on her children to ensure that they’re alive and safe.
Yelena is sleeping when Robin peers into the room. Robin quietly shuffles into the room until she’s standing in front of the crib.
Robin reaches down to gently touch the sleeping toddler’s face and ensure that she’s breathing and alive. She takes a few moments to feel the warmth of the child in the crib and takes comfort in the fact that Yelena was alive and safe in her bed.
The toddler shifts slightly at her touch but doesn’t wake, settling back down quickly.
Robin just gently stroked the soft curls on the girl’s head as she watches the rise and fall of her chest. She finally peels herself away from the crib and moves to the bedroom next door.
Natasha wakes up when the door opens and it takes a few moments before recognition fills her eyes. “Robin!” She pushes the sheets back and scrambles out of bed to dart toward the woman standing in the doorway.
Robin bites back a cry of pain as she kneels to accept the armful of frightened child that was thrown at her.
Natasha curls her fingers into Robin’s pajama shirt and pushes her face into the crook of Robin’s neck before inhaling deeply to surround herself with the fresh scent that was uniquely Robin. Only this time the scent was wrong, tinged with hints of copper and pain.
Robin wraps her arms around the girl, cupping the back of her head as she kissed her temple. “I’m home now.” Robin gently nuzzles her nose into the red hair adorning the child’s head. “Everything’ll be okay, sweetheart.”
Natasha is the first to pull away and her eyes then grow wide. “You’re hurt…” She whispers, having not seen the bruising that peppered Robin’s skin.
“I’m okay now that I’ve got my cuddle bug,” Robin said softly, cupping Natasha’s face.
Natasha leans into the touch with a sleepy sigh, closing her eyes. “I thought you weren’t coming back. Melina kept saying that you were coming back and Yelena kept crying for you.”
“I will fight to come home to you every single time,” Robin promised as she shifts to stand and guide Natasha back to bed.
Natasha curls back up in her bed and Robin picks the sheets up from where they were strewn haphazardly on the floor before tucking her in. Robin smooths her copper hair back and kissed the top of her head. “Try to get some more rest, okay sweetheart?”
Natasha nods her head gently. “Goodnight, Robin.” She whispers, her emerald green eyes tracking Robin as she makes her way across the bedroom.
“Goodnight, Natasha,” Robin said softly, closing the door behind her before making her way back to the master bedroom.
Melina was sitting on the edge of the bed and stands when she sees Robin. “Are you coming to bed now?”
Robin glances at the clock to see that it was nearing 1.30 in the morning. “Yeah…” She moves to lay in her usual spot. Melina doesn’t hesitate this time to shift close to her when she lays down, her body not quite touching Robin’s but barely a few inches between them.
“Robin?” Melina breathes out quietly once they’ve settled down.
“Yes, sweet girl?” Robin looks at Melina through the moonlight peeking through the curtain.
Melina leans forward to press a gentle kiss against Robin’s lips. “I love you too.”