I Love You
For the most part, Natasha enjoyed her work. She wasn't one of those people who bitched about their colleagues and bosses. She liked being a doctor and helping others. When people thanked her for saving their loved one's life, it made her feel worth it.
Natasha was not used to feeling worth it. When she was in foster care, she always felt like a discarded toy that nobody was fond of. Even with Steve and Bucky, she felt insecure. In her mind, she knew both of them would always choose each other over her. She never had someone in her life who saw her as their favorite person. It was childish to think, she knew that, but couldn't help it nonetheless.
Maybe that was why she chose to become a doctor, so she could finally be seen as an important person. But this — right here when she had to tell someone that their partner might not survive, made her hate her profession.
“I'm so sorry, Mr. Stark, but the chances aren't looking in our favor at the moment,” Natasha informed sympathetically, looking at the man with tears in his eyes who was scared to lose his wife.
Mr. Stark joined his hands in front of her as he rambled pleadingly, “No. Please. You have to save her. I can't live without her.”
When Natasha tried her best to console him, he took her hand in his and begged. “I love her so much. You must have someone in your life too?”
Immediately, Natasha thought of you and nodded absent-mindedly. The man continued, “Please, you have to save my wife. What if it was your husband in there?”
She suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at how he just assumed her identity. Under different circumstances, she would have given him a piece of her mind. But she genuinely felt bad for him, so she decided not to call him out on his assumptions, expectations, and just the idea of compulsory heterosexuality in general.
But his words still got to her. What if it was you inside there — dying?
It wasn’t something that seemed impossible. Millions of people died every year. Some due to severe diseases like cancer while others just die when someone else messed up. Natasha had seen so many young people lose their life just because the person driving in front of them was intoxicated. She had seen families of the victim mourn while the culprit lived their life.
Even the mere thought of losing you made tears well up in her eyes. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she tried to ignore the dread and reassure the man to be positive.
After hours of work and a complicated surgery, Mrs. Stark's condition was finally stable. When she informed Mr. Stark, he hugged and thanked her profusely — even compared her to god.
But his words were still lingering in the back of her mind, What if it was you? It terrified her. A feeling of trepidation formed in her chest — like she couldn't breathe until she was sure of your safety.
Once she was alone in her office, instantly, she searched for her phone to contact you. She had to know you were okay.
“Hey, honey,” You picked up after multiple rings, and Natasha sighed in relief at your sweet voice. “I'm sorry it took me a while to get it. I was just finishing the order for Steve's wedding.”
Natasha closed her eyes as tears started brimming her eyes again. You were okay, she tried to reassure herself. You were safe, and she was so in love with you that even the sheer thought of losing you made her body shiver up with fear.
"Are you okay, Tasha?” Your voice through the phone made her open her eyes. You sounded concerned. “You don't sound alright.”
Natasha pushed the phone closer to her ear like it would bring you closer to her. All it did was make you more concerned, she had to make sure you comprehended her next words very carefully. She sniffled as she confided the emotion you made her feel the most, “I love you.”
She could hear your light gasp through the line and the sound of your hand clamping on your mouth. “I… I," You started once you composed yourself, clearly taken aback by your girlfriend's sudden confession.
“I know this is not ideal. This is not how I should say it for the first time,” Natasha accepted, signing, “but I had to let you know. You don't have to respond. I just want you to know. I love you.”
You were silent on the other side for a while, and it made Natasha's heart ache. She would understand if you weren't there yet, or weren't ready to acknowledge it. But your reluctance didn't make this easier for her either.
“It's not that. I… fuck,” You exhaled loudly. She heard you sniffling on the other side of the call as you reciprocated her adoration, “I love you too, Natasha. I love you so much.”