Peter walked between Sam and Bucky, smiling broadly to himself. They were chosen as victims to go shopping, but they didn't complain - each one of them chose a tasty snack that they were just enjoying. The teenager was feasting on chocolate-covered ice cream, Bucky - caramel ice cream in a cone, and Sam opted on Kit-Kat. Fortunately, there weren't many errands on the list, so each of them was holding one, quite large bag. They didn’t want to take the car - they agreed that the walk would be good for them, although Wilson began to complain about Peter's talkativeness. The boy, of course, didn’t do anything about it and continued babbling about everything that came to his mind. He knew Falcon liked him, he just shows it in a rather specific way. So do James, but he didn’t pay as much attention to Parker’s monologue.
"And then Ned said ‘You don't know the power of the Dark Side’ “the teenager continued, taking another bite of ice cream into his mouth. “And I was like - Oh no!” He exclaimed as a piece of coating fell on his gray T-shirt. He quickly wiped it off with his finger, hoping that the stain could be washed off easily.
“Parker’s luck.” Sam laughed, tossing the candy paper into the passing trash can.
"As always," Peter sighed softly, finishing his ice cream.
They walked in silence for a while - mostly because the teenager was engrossed in licking the remnants of the treat from the stick. Only when he dumped it in the nearest dumpster did he grin broadly, ready to resume his story. Just as he was about to speak, a familiar face appeared on the billboard.
“Spiderman is a menace!”
The boy groaned, and his uncles rolled their eyes.
"This time, he overwhelmed three young boys who were walking leisurely along the streets of Queens!" J. Jonah Jameson yelled. As usual, he searched for every scrap of information, just to find any, even the smallest, catch on the (anti) hero he hated.
"He forgot to add that these guys stole handbags from three girls," Peter growled.
“He’s a vandal!” The editor of the Daily Bugle continued his disquisition. “He is a threat to society! Who will he attack today or tomorrow?”
"He could shut up at last," Bucky muttered, quickening his pace a little.
"Yeah," Sam agreed, which is incredibly rare. If Barnes and Wilson are in agreement, it is really about something important. "But at least sometimes you can laugh at his guesses." He laughed, putting his free hand in his pocket.
"I'll never understand why he has it in for me," Parker sighed softly.
"Parkers’s luck," Sam and Bucky said simultaneously.
Peter just smiled while rolling his eyes. They moved away from the billboard so that after a while Jameson's voice was no longer audible. As they crossed the street and Peter was about to resume his story, something made his spider sense to tingle.
“Look out!” He shouted, grabbing his uncles by their shoulders.
Literally in that second, a driver passed in front of them, right where they would have been if Parker hadn't stopped them. The people across the street screamed, instantly moving away in a flash, and several of them showed the speedster the middle finger.
“How do you drive, you fucking goat!” Sam exclaimed, frowning angrily. “What a –”
He didn't finish when Bucky suddenly took a run, chasing the one who might have hit them. Or kill someone. Such people shouldn't have a driving license at all!
"Oh, that's just great," Wilson grunted, sighing aloud. “He lost his shit.”
Peter only laughed briefly as he stared at the James’ disappearing silhouette. It felt like it was going to end in an interesting way. He and Sam walked up onto the sidewalk and stood against a building wall, patiently waiting for Barnes to return.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Sam just couldn't believe what had happened. It was ... maybe Barnes’ style, but still shocking.
Peter had a wide grin all the way back, and he kept saying he couldn't wait to see Tony and Uncle Steve's expressions. With that, Wilson had to agree - Rogers' face would be just comical.
Bucky, on the other hand, didn’t seem to bother with what had happened several minutes ago, but his complacency was evident in the sly smirk that appeared on his lips every now and then. It was definitely one of the best actions that have happened recently!
And this road hog will not get into the car so soon.
As they entered the Tower, Alice, the receptionist, gave them a friendly smile first, then a shocked look at what Bucky was holding behind his back. Peter just waved at her vigorously, signaling at the same time not to tell anyone about it.
"God," Wilson sighed softly as they stood in the elevator. “Why do I hang out with such idiots?”
"Because you are one yourself," Barnes replied. “He goes to his own, remember. “One idiot for another, remember.”
Parker grinned widely, as he watched them carefully. He loved the exchanges between Bucky and Sam. They practically always managed to tease each other, even if they tried to talk about serious topics. For them, a day without banter is a lost day. And it's just hilarious to watch or listen to thir argues.
They stepped out of the elevator and headed straight for the living quarters where they spotted Tony, Steve, Natasha and Clint.
Perfect.
"Oho," Stark said, seeing the three of them approaching. “Judging by Peter's wide grin, something happened. And I'm afraid to ask what.”
“Well, one guy almost drove ran into us.” Wilson shrugged as if this was something normal that happens to people practically every day. “He was –“
“Is Peter alright?!” Tony exclaimed, immediately getting up from the couch and walking over to the still smiling teenager. “Do you need a doctor? Does FRIDAY need to do a scan?”
Before Parker could reply, Sam answered.
“Relax, he's okay. Me and Bucky are fine too, if someone's asking” he grunted, rolling his eyes at the same time. “Thanks for caring.”
Tony just snorted under his breath, and Steve, apparently curious about the further development of the plot, put the book he was reading aside and sat down facing the three of them. Clint whistled loudly, and Natasha still looked unfazed.
"Back to the point," Falcon continued, setting the plastic bag from his hand on the kitchen island. After Peter and Bucky did the same (Barnes still had one hand behind his back), he resumed the story. “This idiot almost ran into us, but Peter stopped us at the right moment and luckily no one was hurt. But Barnes was pissed.”
“Oho!” Barton clapped. “I feel it's gonna be good.”
“He started chasing that bastard to the next junction and caught him at the traffic light.”
"I'm already scared," Rogers sighed loudly. “What did Buck do?” He knew James well enough to know Bucky had to, just had to, do something. Even in their youth, Barnes often interfered with other matters and taught a lesson those who deserved it.
Peter put his hand over his mouth, trying to suppress a laugh. Sam just shook his head in amusement, pointing the finger at grinning. Bucky. The former Winter Soldier finally pull out from behind his back what he had so successfully concealed.
The eyes of everyone in the living room widened at the sight of the object the brunet was holding.
“Anyone want a steering wheel?” He asked, tossing the object and catching it again after a moment.
“Bucky!” Steve exclaimed in astonishment. He was so surprised that he got up from the couch.
Clint burst out laughing loudly, and after a few seconds he grabbed his stomach, unable to regulate his breathing. Natasha only smiled slyly, applauding the man briefly.
"What the fuck?" Tony commented. Then he quickly turned his head in Peter’s direction. “You didn't hear that.”
Parker nodded in response, still giggling like a man possessed.
“It was so awesome!” He exclaimed, turning around to face Barnes.
“Okay, I have to admit it.” Barton wiped a tear that ran down his cheek. “Shit, my stomach.”
"I guess you left the crime scene quickly?" Nat asked, picking up the yogurt on the table.
"Practically right away," replied Bucky.
In response, the redhead only nodded her head.
"You, guys, are fuck--," he trailed off, feeling Steve's warning glare on him. “fucked-up” finished, making the blonde frowning. He gave him a malicious smirk, and Rogers made a wry face. Then Stark looked at Peter again. “You didn't hear that either.”
"Father of the year" Sam commented. He turned to face James standing next to him. “Is pulling steering wheels out of cars your new hobby or what?
In response, Barnes grinned broadly as he patted him on the shoulder.
“That's a brilliant idea!” He exclaimed. "It’s such a waste that I threw away that steering wheel out of your car when we first met, too," he sighed.
"It was one of the worst days of my life," Wilson grunted, brushing Bucky's hand off of his shoulder. “Knowing you is the bane of my existence.”
“And vice versa, bastard.”
“Ah, Balcon.” Clint pretended to wipe away a tear of emotion. “I love your friendship.”
Peter had a wide grin on his face the whole time and, resting his head on Mr. Stark's shoulder, he listened to his uncles' conversation. Steve just sighed loudly, as if martyred, muttering something under his breath that he might be taking another old, really old, nap. He just wanted to have some peace, to be away from the idiots around him. Natasha, on the other hand, was quietly eating her yogurt, smiling brazenly every now and then when Sam or Bucky made some kind of insulting comment.
“I have to use one of the walls in my room for these trophies.” James lifted the steering wheel upwards, then smiled slyly to himself.
"Even the best psychiatrist in the world wouldn’t be able to help you anymore," Wilson muttered, starting to unpack groceries.
Peter took an apple from the pantry and then sat down next to Natasha on the couch, watching the rest of the story. Tony was already figuring out how to make fixtures for Barnes's new conquests, Steve was trying hard to get the hopelessly stupid idea out of their heads, Clint was rolling on the floor laughing again, and Romanoff was just watching ‘Transformesrs’ in the world – just a normal day in a definitely not normal family.
Parker swore to himself to go shopping with Sam and Bucky again. It was fun, especially on the way back. Besides… Somebody will have to help James fulfill his new hobby, right? After all, there are so many cars (and steering wheels) in the city!