Chapter 9
Weeks had passed and your conversations with Tom had not let up. If anything, they have become a staple in your day to day activities. You two were now making plans around your conversations, especially those conversations you had over the weekends. Those were the days where you could alter your sleep schedule to accommodate the other’s schedule. Now that school was almost out for you, your body craved physical rest more and more.
When you suggested a ‘lounge day’ to Tom, he was more than happy to grant your request. He had been in meeting after meeting the past couple of weeks. Although you two spoke every work day, the weekend was your shared time to unwind.
It didn’t help that Tom was holding something back from you… He had claimed that these unrelenting meetings were about a new project. You didn’t pry into what the project might be, not until it was a sure thing for the actor. You never wanted to “jinx” it for him (despite the numerous times he told you that you could do no such thing.) In truth, this wasn’t a new project he was meeting about. It was actually for Season 2 of Loki. Tom adored the series and knew it was a favorite of yours as well.
However, the filming schedule was being discussed recently. It would occur in the same location season 1 had been filmed. Atlanta, Georgia. A mere forty minute drive from where you lived… When it was first brought up, Tom was ecstatic. He played it off as though the excitement was just for the new season, not because he would have been able to see you every single day if he should choose to…
When the reality of the situation sank in later that night, just before he was planning to tell you his news, he stared at the glow of his phone. The Instagram app mocking him. It had been nearly two months since you first started speaking, and yet, you still hadn’t shown him your face, or exchanged phone numbers, or—or given any indication that you felt for him the way he felt for you (even though you had given signs, he was just as uncertain about your feelings as you were of his).
Why did he ever think that you would be excited about him being so close to you?
So, Tom kept it to himself. There was no harm in feeling out the situation and making you as comfortable as possible in his virtual presence. Besides, being your friend was a hell of a lot better than not having you in his life, period.
That’s why he was perfectly content to spend his Saturday evening, sprawled out on his sofa, with Bobby curled between his legs. Adjusting his glasses, he angled up the phone to snap a picture of the pup, sending it to you immediately.
As you received the picture, you couldn’t help but grin at the image. He was all sweatpants covered legs, taking up at least two thirds of the sofa. Pictures like these made you remember that he was just a normal guy. Did that stop you from admiring his long legs or picturing yourself nestled between them? Nope.Bobby blended in with the material of the furniture piece, but seemed completely unfazed by the legs surrounding him. It was clear Bobby was the master of the Hiddleston household.
It was only the afternoon for you, but that didn’t stop you from setting up on the sofa just as Tom had. Instead of a pup sharing your couch, you had three different blankets. It didn’t matter that it was nearing summer, you kept the air conditioning cranked low to the point that you actually woke up at night shivering. The blankets gave you an extra layer of confidence, as you snapped a picture. Your palm opened wide and faced the ceiling as the camera caught the blankets, your hand, and just the tip of your painted toe nails.
cgfan0820
Where in the world could Y/N be?
Tom was accustomed to this sort of practice. You didn’t mind sending him pictures. Your coffee in the morning. A student’s writing. The doodles you drew when you were in a faculty meeting. Your failed attempts at cooking. You showed glimpses into your life nearly every day—but to see you? No.
He had mentioned once the idea of seeing you, to which you deflected as you always did. You made some sort of comment about him being an actor, so he was likely accustomed to gorgeous women surrounding him (and their make-up artists). Meanwhile, you were here with your messy buns, cardigan/t-shirt combos, and usually with marker on you somewhere.
How could he make you understand that he would give anything to see you?
twhiddleston
Did you remember to put your clothes in the dryer?
cgfan0820
Sure did. I bet you remembered to take the trash out, right?
twhiddleston
Of course.
There was a pause in the conversation as you both took care of the chores you had forgotten about until the little reminder. This was how you both operated. You’d remember what the other needed to do far before you’d ever remember your own tasks. Once the chores were completed, you both came back to your spots, ready to begin your conversation topic for the evening.
twhiddleston
Favorite film?
cgfan0820
We go through this every time, Tom. Favorites are impossible.
twhiddleston
Very well. What film would you want to watch with another person? Experience it with them?
cgfan0820
Pulling out the big guns. That’s an impressive question.
twhiddleston
I aim to please you, darling.
Your mind drifted to all the ways he could please you. How odd it was to be speaking with a man that you had watched on television before, kissing and feeling other women…Granted, all of that was parts he played, but your thoughts couldn’t stop wandering. The idea of him burying his head deep below your mountain of blankets, spreading your legs with ease, as his tongue searched for—
Pull it together.
cgfan0820
Do I lose points if I don’t choose one of your movies?
twhiddleston
I may have to deduct points if you did choose one of mine. Besides, I know just how many of my films you’ve actually watched.
cgfan0820
You do not! We’ve barely ever spoken of your films! That’s purely because it makes you uncomfortable, not for my lack of wanting to. I need that to be abundantly clear.
Let’s just settle this now. I’ve seen all Marvel films that you are in specifically.
twhiddleston
A given. You had to help Scott with his writing. You likely watched and took notes to help the boy out. I seem to recall your liking towards Iron Man…
cgfan0820
Moving on.
Kong Island? Seen it.
twhiddleston
Kong: Skull Island—That’s all the feedback I’ll receive?
Tom found himself sitting upright, awkwardly positioned around the still sleeping pup. It was true, you two barely spoke of his films. If anything, you had tried multiple times to watch them with Tom—but that wasn’t going to happen if he had a say in it. Watching them on your own? That was fine. He appreciated that. He wanted to know your thoughts and opinions of his work. To watch them together though? Knowing full well that all he would do would be imagining you beside him in each scene…Torture. And what if you didn’t care for it? Could he handle your polite words to cover your disappointment? Certainly not. Another aspect to consider was that once you got a close look at him, you wouldn’t fancy him at all. If your critical assessment of yourself was anything to base this judgement on, he was doomed.
cgfan0820
Your arms were spectacular.
twhiddleston
Wow.
He hadn’t been expecting that. The two of you had exchanged compliments on certain aspects of your life. He had complimented you on your demeanor with your students. You had given him countless compliments on his intelligence, his compassion—but you both steered away from compliments of a physical nature. Granted, you didn’t give him much of a choice when it came to you…So, this was all quite unfair.
cgfan0820
All of you was spectacular!
twhiddleston
My arms?
cgfan0820
Tom, you’re gorgeous. There’s no denying that. Don’t hold it against me that I cared more about your biceps than the plot.
Plucking a cushion from behind him, Tom buried his face deep into the material and groaned. It was a mixture of embarrassment that he was having to endure compliments about his appearance, but also he hadn’t worked out as hard as he did for Kong, since Kong. That settled it. He’d go back to the gym. That was all there was to it. Your phrasing ‘hold it against me’ wasn’t helping his mind stay on track with the conversation either. An alert from his phone forced him out of hiding.
cgfan0820
Your acting was top notch! I thought you were really interacting with Kong?
twhiddleston
Your punctuation betrays you.
cgfan0820
I’ve seen Deep Blue Sea as well. Thank you for the countless tears shed over that piece. Spectacularly sad.
twhiddleston
Isn’t that true to love though? Should it not be the thing that keeps you going but also the very thing that makes it hard to exist? The film is one of my proudest.
cgfan0820
As it should be. You were…I don’t really have the words now that I know you. Performances that can make a person reach back into their past and relive experiences? Magical. You did that for me.
twhiddleston
Given the content of the film, I feel compelled to ask if you were alright…?
cgfan0820
Have you ever been in a relationship when love wasn’t enough? When both parties were incapable of giving the other what they needed?
Neither of you touched on past relationships in your conversations. It never seemed fair to bring it up when Tom’s love life was plastered across newspapers. There also wasn’t a great opportunity to bring it up. Today’s topic will be Ways You’ve Been Hurt. Today’s topic will be Questionable Life Choices in the Name of Love. No, not really easy going talk.
twhiddleston
Haven’t we all?
cgfan0820
That film made me feel like I wasn’t the only one to experience that. You made me feel like I wasn’t alone.
twhiddleston
I hate that you ever had to experience it, love.
cgfan0820
I’m not. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.
A silence entered the conversation after your comment. It was true though. Your past brought you to this point. Hell, had you not been trying to message your ex, you would have never sent that picture of your shirt to Tom. You tried not to think about your ex too much though—he had the uncanny ability to sense when you were happy and send you a message out of the blue.
twhiddleston
I’ll deflect for you. Any other films?
cgfan0820
I tried to watch Crimson Peak, but I couldn't do it. The trailer alone scared me. I hate that though, since I love a good gothic horror. Reminds me of Vincent Prince.
God, he was pleased to hear that. Again, another movie he was proud to make. A gothic horror. A man struggling with his inner demons. A woman who can save herself. The set alone was absolutely gorgeous. However, he didn’t want you to—-
cgfan0820
It’s so tempting though. I’ve heard things…Glorious things…All about your backside.
twhiddleston
Vincent Price was an astounding actor. I particularly enjoyed House of Usher.
cgfan0820
Why, Mr. Hiddleston, I do hope you’re not blushing. It’s not often that you deflect.
Not a film, but I am quite the fan of The Night Manager.
twhiddleston
You watched it for Hugh, didn’t you?
cgfan0820
Started watching it for him.
However, how dare you look so good in yet another role.
twhiddleston
You’re going to give me a complex.
cgfan0820
I wish I could see your face right about now.
twhiddleston
Can we please go back to the original question?
cgfan0820
Do I prefer you with your shirt on or off? You know, that’s a tough one. Let’s weigh the pros and cons…
twhiddleston
Not the question, Ms. L/N!
cgfan0820
Arguing with the teacher?
twhiddleston
You’re killing me…
cgfan0820
Nice try, Hiddleston. You can’t escape me with something like death.
twhiddleston
I wouldn’t ever leave you if I had a say in the matter.