My Kid
Maybe that night, maybe the next morning-- Bruce had no idea what time it was-- he woke up to nightmares. Again. They weren't like the ones he used to have.
The ones he used to have were...
"No! Mom! Please, don't hurt her!"
"Monster!"
Those dreams had come to Bruce ever since he was a kid. His childhood sucked. Period. His mother tried, she really did, but she was submissive to his father. Abusive. Horrible. One time she tried to defy him. One time she tried to get her son and herself away from that horrible life.
He grabbed her and threw her hard on the ground.
Blood.
Oh, so much blood.
But those dreams had faded after some time. They faded after he found a real family. They faded when he felt welcome, even if some people were cautious around him.
Now the nightmares were back. A different kind. It was the same thing over and over.
"We don't need you."
"I prefer the other guy."
"Why don't we just get rid of you?"
Trust ripped from him as he was pushed.
Falling, falling, falling.
Betrayal.
Bruce wasn't ready to look Natasha in the eyes. Not yet. Not even after this long. He went missing because of her so if she was anxious then she only had herself to blame.
So for the nth night, since Bruce had changed back from Hulk form after several years, he sat up straight in bed and stared at his surroundings. The guest room, slowly becoming his permanent room, wasn't too bad. It was mostly undecorated. The only thing that you could use to identify it was his was a little stack of books on that table and an already filled-up notebook. One week of living with Asgardians could make any scientist ecstatic.
With a sigh, Bruce got to his feet. He wasn't really in the mood to sit still. And he was hungry. Food is a great stress reliever and sweets are better. He quietly crept out of his room, making sure that he didn't make noise. If the Hulk was a rhino, Bruce was a mouse. Not that rhinoceroses couldn't be quiet. They had padded feet so-- never mind.
He rubbed the grainy feeling out of his eyes as he flicked on the kitchen lights. A small rustle in the living space next to him made his head perk up.
"Anyone there?"
No one responded. Bruce walked towards where he heard it from, near the full-sized window overlooking the grassy landscape below. They weren't that far from the city, but far enough to properly see the stars and moon. They were on the third floor, so it was quite a view. He noticed a shadow on the ground like someone was there. But there was nothing visible.
He calmly walked back to the kitchen and went through the drawers. There was nothing there. Obviously. This was Stark's building and his diet consisted of various takeout. Bruce grabbed a box of those purple Pop-Tarts Thor liked so much and went back to the window. He sat down cross-legged and looked outside.
"I can see you. Your shadow is showing."
There was a soft sigh before the illusion fell. Loki sat with his legs pulled to his chest, staring at the night sky.
"Did I awaken you?" He asked.
"No, it was nightmares," Bruce opened the snack box.
"Sorry."
"No need to be. It wasn't your fault."
They fall back into an uncomfortable silence. Bruce doesn't like it.
"How did you meet Peter?"
Loki tilted his head, "The internet. I had a blog. Mostly just talking about what I would do to make this world a better place. I haven't been on it in some time. It was called 'My Way Of The World'."
"Wait, I think I've seen that once. Weren't you the one who said that a chicken would make a better president back in 2017?"
"Yes."
Bruce laughed and Loki gave a soft smile. Nothing like the maniacal, devilish grins he had worn during the Battle of New York. A real, happy smile. Whatever Bruce had considered as his genuine smile before dulled in comparison. Loki seemed to notice his staring and buried his face between his knees.
"Oh, don't do that," Bruce said, "You look nice when you smile."
Loki looked at him, smiling but it was fake. Bruce shook his head and Loki let it shift into something more real.
"That's it. Why don't you do that more often?"
"I only smile when I have a real reason," Loki mumbled, "I haven't been able to for a while."
"How long?"
"I don't remember anymore."
Bruce raised a hand and Loki flinched. The scientist pretended not to notice as he gently patted the other on the back. Loki looked surprised.
"Are you scared of me?" Bruce asked, "The Hulk? I promise he doesn't want to harm you. None of us do."
"I don't fear you." Loki seemed affronted by his words, "None of you could truly harm me. Not like he could."
"He?"
Loki froze, seeming to realize what he said.
"Who's he?"
"No one. Forget about it."
"Loki--"
"I said forget about it."
Bruce put on a no-nonsense face, "And I still want to know."
Loki didn't answer.
"Who is he?"
No answer.
"What were you talking about?"
Nothing.
"What happened in the void?"
Loki's eyes widened, "W-What?"
"Between Thor's coronation and you attacking New York, there was the timespan of a year. Thor said you died in the void, but you came back. You were sick, I could tell. I'm no spy but I'm a doctor so that wasn't an act. I'll ask you this one time. What happened in the void?"
Loki stared at him. The boy's hands were twisted tightly in a knot and he let his head lean forward, hair falling to shield his face. After a moment, his shoulders began shaking, almost like he was laughing. Bruce frowned with confusion until he noticed that it wasn't laughing but crying. By far the quietest crying he'd witnessed, that was for sure, but crying nonetheless. He carefully pulled Loki into his arms.
The ex-prince whimpered, "I'm-- I'm sorry-- I--"
"No, it's okay. You're fine."
"No-- That's not-- I mean--" He stammered, trying to get the right words. "I didn't want to-- I wanted to stop-- I didn't mean to--"
"Slow down. Deep breaths. Calm yourself."
Bruce patted him gently on the back as he took a few shuddery breaths.
"That's better. Now, tell me."
Loki could barely speak, "I'm sorry-- Everything I did-- I didn't want to--"
"What did you do?"
"New York-- I didn't mean to-- I didn't want to--"
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't want to hurt anyone. I didn't want to do anything."
"Then why?"
"They made me do it!"
Bruce blinked.
"They-- They forced me to," Loki whimpered, "They wanted the Tesseract and wanted me to get it. I told them no and..." He rubbed his chest, "They tried to use it but it didn't work at first."
The scepter. "Didn't work?"
"I don't know why. It kept telling me to do things and I just said no. So they... everything hurt until they tried again and it worked. I didn't remember much until it started coming back to be but..."
"By then you were in custody." Bruce realized, "Why didn't you tell anyone at your trial?"
"I couldn't. They did something-- Something with my head. I can't talk about it unless someone properly asks and--" Loki got choked up, "I thought they would care. I thought Thor or Mother or Odin would care and ask and I could tell them. I thought they cared enough to know that it wasn't me but--" He started crying again.
"Oh, no, it's okay," Bruce hugged him tighter, "You told me now. We care. We can help."
"Y-You can't. He'll come and when he does he'll take everything from me again. I don't want to be alone again."
"No, I won't let... him. Whoever he is. I swear, I'll protect you from him."
Loki calmed, looking up at him. He had a strange expression on his face, a mix of skepticism and disbelief.
"I promise. Do you want to tell Thor?"
He shook his head, "He won't care. He'll just abandon me again."
"When has he done that?"
"Always! He left me alone when I found out I was adopted, he let me fall into the void just to save the enemy race! He left me for dead in Svartalfheim for a woman who he doesn't even love anymore! He left me in Sakaar and let me burn in Asgard! He doesn't care!"
Bruce went over this in his head. Thor never said anything about trying to help Loki understand his lineage, only that the young prince snapped. Thor also said that Loki died in the realm of the Dark Elves, but Bruce highly doubted that Thor understood what happens when someone died. Do they stop moving? Dead. Bleeding a lot? Dead. No, they have to stop breathing and their heart should stop beating. Bruce also remembered that Loki wasn't on the jet leaving Sakaar and Thor didn't check to see if Loki was on the Statesman after Asgard exploded.
"What about Shuri and Peter?" Bruce asked, "Steve, Tony, Bucky, Sam? Don't you want to tell them?"
Loki shook his head, "Not yet."
"That's okay. When you're ready."
Bruce picked up the discarded snack box and took out a packet.
"Pop-Tart? Mostly processed stuff and very unhealthy but sometimes life and relationships are that."
Loki laughed. Bruce smiled. FRIDAY's security system saved.
~~~
"I hit a snag, guys," Tony strode into the living space that morning, "I have the papers ready except I need a legal guardian and a surname for Loki."
"I could be the guardian," Thor volunteered.
"No," Loki hissed, sending a glare towards him. "Anyone but you."
"Well, I'm not doing it." Tony said, "I could ask Steve or Sam..."
"I'll do it."
They turned towards Bruce.
"What?" He asked, "If no one else wants to, I will."
"If Loki doesn't protest..." Tony looked at said mage, who nodded, "Good! I dunno about you guys, but Loki Banner has a nice ring to it."
No one but Bruce himself noticed Loki smiling to himself.